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My husband is in the military and after 13 years he is separating due to medical reasons. He wants to move back to our hometown to be near both of our families, primarily his mother and aunt. Well, I am hesitate. I didn't have the best childhood due to both of my parents being alcoholics. They both still drink heavily and can get violent and emotional when doing so. My oldest brother still lives in the area and drinks excessively as well. To top it off, my sister-in-law and her husband live about an hour away and love to drink and party and are somewhat open swingers. Their sexually active 15 year old daughter is free to do as she pleases and their 12 year old son is often left on his own. While I respect my husband for wanting to be near his mother and his disabled aunt, I am having a hard time dealing with the fact of being near the rest of our family. While it would be nice to be near family, this is not the situation I have envisioned. I don't want our children thinking drinking excessively and having multiple partners is okay. Should I accept the fact we are moving back and deal with the situation as it comes or continue trying to talk my husband into moving somewhere else?
Speak to your husband and voice your concerns. Depending on how often your husband wants to see his mother and aunt it could be possible to move within striking distance so that he would travel a few hours to see them every couple of weeks. If he wants to see them more often and potentially help take care of his aunt then maybe you should consider moving somewhere larger and having them come stay with you.
It's also possible to live close to your family and not have them so involved in your lives that they influence you and your kids, but that is up to you and how much you let them be a part of your family. Remember that just because your children witness this behaviour it doesn't mean they will think it is ok, especially if you have taught them otherwise.
this is odd but i need someone who knows a little something about when it comes to hiring plumbers.
I rent a two bed, two bath place and we continually have plumbing issues. we have the standard low flush/low consumption toilets which clog ALL THE TIME, even to the point to where even a standard plunger cannot unclog it. Well ive had a leaking tub faucet for the past month and called my management company to fix the leaking THAT, but also asked to have the plumber check out one of my toilets as well (just a quick look to make sure theres nothing legitimately wrong with that toilet ) my question is, it is normal or fair for the property management to charge ME for the plumber to come out to fix the faucet?
last time i called to have management send a plumber to unclog my toilet, (cause my son flushed the toilet paper spinner down it) i got charge 400 bucks! just for that! and he did the same thing i just asked this guy to do. i soooo dont wanna get charged 400 bucks because i also asked him to check out my toilet while he was here fixing the leaky faucet. = / i cant afford that.
can they do that?? i know that theres certain things that THEY have to cover, but idk if they can try to pin the toilet thing on me, there was nothing wrong with the toilet, he said he would let them know that. The toilet just has a small throat and clogs easier then the better toilets.
It's possible that they think you are causing the toilet to block unnecessarily (by your son flushing things down it) and that is why you are being charged. Most management companies will pay for plumbing within reason. You should check your tenancy agreement and see what it says about general maintenance and/or plumbing.
Its been almost 3 years and they have had there good times and bad times but today i didnt talk to her because I didnt want to fight and when we spoke she kept fighting with me... I feel like dying because she is my life and i am so stressed out, what should I do?
It sounds like you are stuck in a rut of fighting with each other. Try a change of scenery - go and do something together that you don't normally do, get away from your usual surroundings and remember what it is that you love about each other. Try to bring the fun back :)
Is it possible & worth cleaning the slate & restarting a 15yr relationship when he has cheated & lied about it to your face for 6yrs that you know of! And you ALWAYS believed him when you ask him questions,and he also tries to avoid or stay on the question. Basically BROKE my trust & faith in him! And other issues in relationship but KNOWS he cares & have tried to breakup before but ALWAYS drawn back! THERE IS A COSMIC LIKE CONNECTION BETWEEN US lim 35 he is 37
Honestly? No, it doesn\'t sound like things will change. You may feel like you are being drawn back to him but this may simply be because it is what you know having been with him for so long. Don\'t stay with someone who lies and cheats on you all the time; you can do better than this.
So, I'm a 14 year old girl and I honestly can't cope with the way my parents tell me to live, I feel like I am trapped in my home and I can't do anything!
They have these rules that I cannot go on my iPad/phone until 8pm every night, even at weekends I'm not aloud to use them. They say I'm to antisocial and I need to get out more, I go almost everywhere with them! I do go to town with friends aswell. They won't let me out of my town, I live in Barnstaple, devon and I'm not even aloud to Exeter or Bristol to go on a shopping trip with friends which is only about 2 hours away. Also I'm not aloud to be friends with a few people I know, one of them because there is a rumour going around that her mum is a prostitute and the other one who is my best friend and I still hang out with her secretly because she said something rude on Facebook like 2 years ago! It annoys me how I can't be friends with who I want to be friends with. My parents won't let me go out after school and I always have to be back home at 4pm if I go anywhere, which means I can't go out in the evening or at night and have a laugh :(
They also won't let me use social networks other than Facebook and Twitter, I want to be able to use snapchat, Instagram and tumblr but I'm not aloud to have it on my phone, another thing is that my dad still reads my texts and my messages with friends online!!! I'm 14 and I literally have no privacy! It's really annoying I want to just tell him "no, I won't give you my phone" or just not tell him the lock to my phone but he always makes me! :(
This is really annoying me now how I feel like I am stuck with nothing to do and no privacy at all :(
Anyone know what I could do?
Ask them if they have any suggestions for you for how to be more social and get out more, given that they have imposed all these restrictions on what you can and can\'t do and who you can and can\'t see. This may help open their eyes to the contradiction in what they are asking you to do. Try not to get emotional when you speak to them, remain calm and reasonable and show that you want to work toward a compromise.
Unfortunately at 14 you will have to abide by their rules for some time yet!
my heart has been doing weird stuff so i was looking what can be wrong with the heart and it said "coronary artery disease" but i don't know what that means. can some one please explain so a 16 year old can understand?
I\'m not more a doctor than you are, however looking at Wikipedia (link below) I see that coronary artery disease is when there is stuff caked onto the inside walls of the tubes in your heart which in turn causes the blood not to be able to pass through as easily as before.
The stuff on the inside of the walls is called plaque (like the build up on your teeth if you don\'t brush them)
The tubes are called arteries (these take oxygen from the lungs TO parts of your body, while their counterpart veins take the de-oxygenated blood back to the lungs).
The word coronary refers to the heart.
If you look on the wikipedia pages under risk factors you will see the kinds of things that give you this disease, for example smoking, not exercising, being overweight etc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coronary_artery_disease
So, I'm a 14 year old girl and I'm pretty sure this isn't normal. It's usually every morning I wake up with soaked underwear, it doesn't smell that nice either. During the day it's nit so bad but it's still happening, it's very uncomftable. I find that whenever I need to pee I all of a sudden become very desperate to go and I can't hold it in for that long and if I don't go I can't hold it in. I don't want to have to wear a panty liner or something like that, any ideas on what this could be?
I'm too scared to tell my parents about it as I would be embarrassed and I really don't want to have to go and see a doctor unless I really have to.
Thanks.
It sounds like you might have a urinary tract infection, however you should go and see your family doctor to find out what it is. People have infections and ailments all the time; it is not embarrassing at all. What\'s more embarrassing is wetting yourself in public because you can\'t hold it in!
My boyfriend is trying to give hints that he wants to take the relationship further, he's asking me how far I would go and what I would do, asking me to send him dirty pictures and if I would have sex. I'm 14 years old! I'm not ready, I'm not comftable with my body and I'm not comftable thinking about it. I want to tell him somehow that I'm not ready to go that far yet but I'm not sure how to tell him, he said he would never force me which I hope he won't...
Anyone got any advice on how I can tell him without it breaking us apart?
Also he wants me to send him a picture of me, a dirty one... I really don't want to, how can I tell him I don't want to do this aswell?
Thankyou x
Just tell him directly. Say you are not ready for what he is asking you to do yet and that you are not going to do it until you are ready, and that includes giving him pictures of yourself etc.
This is a bit risky and he may break up with you, which you need to be prepared for. If he does break up with you over this, then he was not the type of boyfriend you want anyway, was he? At 14 you still have plenty of time to find someone who wants to be with you for you and not just for sex.
If he says ok he will wait then that's great but you need to make it clear that he must not put pressure on you for anything. Trust me, it will get annoying if he is whining about it all the time! If for one second you think he may force you then get rid of him.
Hopefully he will make the right choice and stay with you for you but if not at least you know sooner rather than later.
Best of luck, I hope it works out well for you x
I know this may sound like a dumb question but I have dark reddish brown hair and really fair skin (like the skin of most redheads) it has pink undertones and it's freckled. Most brunettes I know even if lighter skinned aren't as light skinned as myself...?
It's genetic. You may as well ask "why are my eyes blue" or "why am I this height". You most likely got your fair skin (and eye color, height etc) from your mom or your dad.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years now and have an 8 month old son together. Up until a month before our son was born we had a good sex life and were having sex a lot. After our son was born we started bearly having sex about once a month. Now he gets all mad when I try to have sex with him and tells me no. He doesn't even want me to see him naked or touch his private area. I feel like we are little kids. Please tell me why you think he doesn't wanna have sex with me. It is really hurting me.
Your boyfriend sounds like he is having trouble adjusting to having a child to look after. I would take what he said about not wanting another child at face value - he simply doesn't want another child. Are you using contraception at the moment? If not then this will be the biggest reason he doesn't want to have sex with you. If you make it clear that having sex will not make you pregnant, he will come back to you.
You can use condoms, the pill, an IUD, or any other contraception your doctor prescribes.
I believe my daughter that has cheered since she was 6 yrs old was cut from her High School Ssquad for her Senior Year because of predetermined bias. The coaches from this year are leaving and were very unhappy with their job and took alot of it out on the girls. My daughter would raise her hand many times in class to ask questions when she or the girls were being treated in a unfair or mean way. As a parent i now know i shouldve went to school with concerns but didnt want it to be political suicide as far as my daughter was concerned. I now regret that decision very much. I believe with all my heart her scores with predetermined bias given by these two out going coaches (still teachers)were what cost her a place on squad for her Senior year. It was not based on talent but personal agenda. The school does not allow you to view your childs score sheet. Although i know this is in a file as i have had the activities superintendant view it and i believe my childs photo is attached. Can the school disallow my access to this information?
You would be better off teaching your daughter that life is unfair sometimes than challenging a result you don't like. Were you at the trials? Maybe your daughter just wasn't as good as the other girls. You are biased toward your daughter so try to keep that in mind before you go campaigning on her behalf. Is her place on the squad as important to her as it seems to be to you? There are other things in life besides cheerleading.
Fear has destroyed my life. Made so many stupid mistakes. Is there chance to start again.
I moved to the states 12 years ago , i came on a visa waiver and overstayed. My mum has borderline personality disorder, i so badly wanted to get away from her. I met a guy on the internet, i was in love , visited him in the states and overstayed my waiver. He refused to apply for a adjustment of status for me, so i lived here illegally i was too afraid to go back to england, i had nowhere to go.
We were married. He ended up meeting another girl on the internet (this time from thailand) He broke up with me , we stayed married anyway untill he decided to marry the girl from the internet. We divorced. I stayed here anyway and ended up in a severley abusive relationship that lasted 6 years. I was terrified of him , had no self esteem and too scared to leave. I met my current husband 3 years ago. He has been so wonderful , he has helped to build me into a real person . We married sept 2011 and have a 1 month old baby together. I want to be legal, but i dont know if i can. Im still so scared. Is there any help for me?
I was in a similar situation when I moved to the UK. I was married to an EU citizen, but when we got divorced I had no idea this nullified my visa, and I overstayed for 3 years. I have subsequently applied for and been granted a new visa. I had to go personally to the British High Commission in my country of birth and explain what had happened, and they were sympathetic to my situation.
So I would say that you should apply for your visa anyway, and explain what happened. Or pretend you didn't know. The fact that you are now married to and have a child with a citizen of the states (I assume!) will count in your favour. But you should find out what your status is and attempt to correct it. If they see you are trying, it is much better than if they find out on their own.
You could also apply for a visa or greencard via a solicitor who specialises in immigration, who will be able to advise you on the legal consequences of what you are doing and will also let you know what your options are.
Hope this helps.
I've been feeling hungry all the time lately. I'll eat lunch and feel really full, and then an hour later i'll feel hungry again. its really annoying. why could this be?
17/f
Are you putting on weight? If not, then you're probably... just hungry! But if you are putting on weight then it might be something else like a stomach ulcer that feels like hunger, or is alleviated when you eat something. It could also be fatigue - you tend to eat more when you are tired. You should probably visit your GP if you are concerned about it.
Three weeks back i posted a question which i stated i suspected to have been exposed about 11 months back. However i went for an HIV test on that 11th month were i tested negative. I will be going for an HIV test with my girlfried this Saturday. Should i tell her what happend those months back. What if we are positive
See what your results are first. No need to bring it up unnecessarily.
My husband to be and I are going on a romantic get away to Gatlinburg, and we're staying in this cute, romantic cabin for a few days.
I want a good tasting wine.
Nothing expensive; but a good price for the great taste.
Any ideas? I've never had any wine before, I'm usually a vodka, or wine cooler kind of woman, so any good ideas would be helpful.
Thanks.
It depends if you want red or white. If red, you're pretty safe with a cabernet sauvignon or maybe a shiraz. For white, go for a chardonnay or a pinot grigio. These are very popular wines, go well with food, and are fine to drink "young". Most wines will get more expensive the older they are.
Hi,
I was in the shower today and a really runny red/brown (more red then brown) came out from my vagina... I cant tell if i just had my period...
Ask away if you need more info..
Your period will last a few days - what you had sounds like spotting http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metrorrhagia
Im a 13 year old girl in a really confusing situation with a crush. It's a long story but I had a thought that if I told everyone in my classes that I liked him, maybe he would consider talking to me more. I don't have a full on crush becasue I like to get to know someone a little better but he seems pretty awesome. I know its pretty gutsy and I will hate myself for making me do this but I could if I really wanted to. Would it embarress him too much? He's a popular dude so he doesn't get that embarressed but still... Should I? Thanks.
No this isn't a good idea. Firstly he will get embarrassed that you told everyone, and he'll feel pressured into talking to you, so everything will feel forced. This isn't the way to open communications. Also, you'll probably get teased, or people will comment if they see the two of you talking together. Rather find ways to talk to him that seem natural, like you could chat to him about mutual classes, or you could sign up for any extra curricular activities that he participates in. Telling everyone your crush is a bad idea. Good luck.
okay, long story short, i'm in a weird place right now with my boyfriend's sister, we used to be closer friends but i've distanced it because i've just been busy with work, trying to have a life with him and trying to go new places in my life and i've felt she was not one of the best people to bring along into it, there's been lots of issues with her. i understand she'll always be around, that's why i've kept it friendly and always will but now there's just this weirdness in the air with seeing eachother all the time, then not and being closer friends, then not.
but so the situation is is that we have lots of mutual friends and one of these friends asked me to go on a trip with her to see this band we both like and i said yes. now the weeks have gone by and i haven't informed my friend of this, i kinda feel bad, like i should but i honestly don't feel the need to tell anybody else, its just her (she'll get pissed she wasn't invited to something, like why did I get invited over her, etc.) i just try not to make her upset cause i don't want it to affect my boyfriend and i's relationship in any way (she's refused to speak to him for months when she hasn't liked a girl he's dated, etc.)
and since we no longer talk alot, very very casually, (i never talk to people on the phone) i haven't really had a way to bring it up to her without it sounding completely random and kind of "hey im shoving this in your face" cause the only thing i can think of right now is just to call her or text her and be like,"i just wanted to let you know im going here in two weeks with so and so, so you know." that just sounds/feels stupid.
should i even bother doing that, or just go and deal with the blows when i get back? i've thought about just telling her when i get back that i didn't want to sound rude and like i was throwing it in her face and wasn't sure how to tell her, so i didn't? help!
it drives me nuts that my boyfriend and everyone else could care less if i go or not, didn't even have to bother telling half of them, its only her.
No, don't go out of your way to tell her. It's very unlikely this will cause a problem with you and your boyfriend, no more than what she usually does anyway and he's probably used to her drama by now! It will sound weird if you tell her out of the blue you are going away for a couple of weeks. It's not like you tell all your not-so-good friends & acquaintances every time you book a trip.
Are you friends with her on Facebook? Maybe change your status to "excited about my trip with X to see Y" or whatever. Then at least the sister will know where you are, without there being a big confrontation about it.
Otherwise you might try dropping it into conversation without making the conversation JUST about your trip. Like mention you've bought a new top which you will wear while you're away and she'll be like "oh, you're going away?" and you can say "oh gosh didn't I tell you yet, I thought I told *everyone*!" etc etc. It's a bit underhanded but she might let you off :)
So me and my boyfriend decided that we wanted to start jogging together after school, my question is how should I go about this? I am much faster than him and we went jogging once already, I had to slow down so he wouldn't be miles behind me but I still jogged in front of him. I don't know how I should really approach this, should I jog beside him or should I jog ahead of him and motivate him to work harder by being ahead (we are extremely competitive with each other, in a good but funny way)... I don't know, so what should I do?
If his fitness and speed aren't as good as yours yet, he's not going to like you pushing him into running harder than he is able to, and he will most likely get resentful and not want to run with you anymore. Remember how you were before you started running? You wouldn't have liked someone making you run faster when you weren't ready. If you are getting bored you could do some sprints, i.e. sprint ahead and then walk till he catches up. You wouldn't exactly be running together, but at least you would get a decent workout while he comes up to fitness. I'm sure he understands that you're at a higher level and need to get a bit more out of the session. If you are competitive in a good, funny way, challenge him to a race where he jogs and you power-walk? But make it fun for him. No pressure!
I am a 21 year girl at college. I have the unusual problem of have an abnormally large appetite. I have always had a fast metabolism but I am also a competitive swimmer and tennis player. I sometime eat 7000+ calories in a day, but 6000 is more typical. Occasionally this puts me in awkward situations. Last Saturday my good friend and former roommate invited me to play soccer in her intramural league semifinals and then stay at her place. She picked me up right after swim practice an then we went to play three hours of soccer. By the time we finally had dinner at her place it was 5:00. I ate at least 2X what she did but as an old friend she didn't say anything. All I had to eat all day besides dinner was breakfast and a small sandwich for lunch. With 4 hours of swimming and 3 hours of soccer my stomach was hungry again by 9:00. She made me a large chicken salad and was surprised to see me eat it all with a couple apples and bananas. Some days my stomach really does seem abnormal and by 11:00 I was getting hungry again. I ate the last two apples while my friend said "Do you EVER stop eating? Where do you put it all?". When we were going to bed at 12:30AM I had to tell her "this is embarrassing but I really need a snack." She was annoyed and asked if it could wait until tomorrow. I said I was really pretty hungry. She watched me eat a couple of drumsticks and some other leftovers and was saying "How can you be hungry? Do you clean out every kitchen you see?" She made me scrambled eggs and warmed a couple of lean cuisine dinners. She was saying like "fine, eat eat eat, you're always eating. just eat everything, eat some more. Oh that's right it's your metabolism, OK well then just eat eat eat. still hungry? there's cereal in the cupboard don't forget that..." She was really annoyed and I was very embarrassed. She apologized the next day and I gave her some money for food. She didn't say much, was very business like, and dropped my at the BART station to go home (that was the original plan). I didn't feel like anything was resolved and I haven't talked to her since. (4 days ago) I don't know how to handle it. I don't want her to be mad at me. Should I pretend nothing happened? - that's what my instinct is. It is rare that my appetite really causes me trouble beyond mild embarrassment and this is the first time for anything like this.
You have done all you can do. You gave her money for the food, and she has apologised. You don't need to be embarrassed about how much you need to eat. As you said, you play a lot of sport. Michael Phelps consumes 12,000 calories a day! So you have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Your friend may have issues with food, and she could be projecting those feelings onto you. Maybe she is constantly on diet, has a slow metabolism and therefore has to eat a tiny amount just so she doesn't put on weight. This would very likely make her annoyed with you, watching you eat so much without worrying about it. But this is her problem, not yours.
She must know how much you eat because she used to room with you! So put this down to her having a bad day, and don't mention it again. Act as normal, maybe take her out to lunch as a thank you for having you over. But don't mention how much you eat unless she does first. This type of thing should not get in the way of a good friendship - if it does, it might be time to re-examine that friendship.