DepthofHeart's advice column

You can use gel or hairspray, something that says extra hold, and just use a little bit of it. Or you can use just a little bit of water, you won't be able to tell the difference.

::Jasmine::

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im just doing a survey type thingy, and i was wondering:

girls, if you and your boyfriend were to get engaged, would you want him to pick out a ring and surprise you or would you want to pick out the one you want and him get it?

I think surprise is much more romantic, just try to pick something out that you think suits her well.

::Jasmine::

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i stuck the needle in that big vein everyone has on their foot, it probably went 3/4 of an inch in.....as soon as i took it out i bled a little, and then all the blood in that vein along my foot and ankle dissapeared and went into about a square inch of the vein (which is now almost an inch wide) around the needlehole....its just a big bubble/bump thing...it wont bleed anymore though even if i press it...has this happened to anyone? what should i do? am i overreacting and its fine?

Why the hell would you stick a needle in your foot in the first place?! You need to go see a doctor as soon as possible, sweetheart. I suggest you go to the emergency room, you'll get seen quicker. And no more sticking pointy objects through veins, it's idiotic and dangerous.

::Jasmine::

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How do you flirt? Like what do you say or do?

I would answer this myself... but I think this site could do so much better.

http://myjellybean.com/guys/flirting/flirting.htm

It'll honestly help.

::Jasmine::

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ok this question is graphic and i know some people say their question is graphic but let me tell ya, it's gross. im 16/f. i have my period and it's always been fairly regular, not too heavy, not really light but just in the middle. last night i had a tampon in and within half an hour it felt like it was full so i took it out and this clot came out that was the size of a baseball cut in half. no exaggeration!!! i've had small clots before and i know thats normal but what would cause one this big? it was really gross and i do not want that to happen again.

This website is perfect for your question, I suggest you read it.

http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/menstrual9.html

It answers your question.

::Jasmine::

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I relly like this boy or at lest I think I do. Well I’ve only known him for like three weeks well we met at the beginning of this skool year but we talk all the time and he’s so nice and funny but he likes to start fights with people he doesn’t like and he’s kind of a pothead to;/ but he doesn’t do it all the time and he only fights with people that start shit with him or his friends, and he’s my age but hangs out with kids like 3 years older then him he’s kind of cute but not like drop dead gorgeous and he so sweet and kind and funny and he is just so awesome to me but he’s kind of a player because I always go to his myspace to look at his pics. And there are all these girls that say “plz comment back I love you” or “hay we haven’t talked in a wile send me a comment when you get this love you” and then on there profiles he’s like “love you to” but on a couple he’s like “I cant talk to you I’m still mad at you” and stuff like that but still I need to know if it seems like he may like me, and how to get his attention and make him kind of catch on that I like him but I don’t want to flirt to much just kind of act like his friend but I don’t know I just rely like him and I wish I could know what he thought of me, any ways pleas help me out and sorry for making this so long and complicated
thanks in advanced

I think he may like you...but he sounds like he likes a lot of girls. I don't think you should bother with him. He sounds like a player and I think you'll just end up getting hurt or into trouble. I'm not saying you shouldn't be his friend, but he doesn't sound like a good person to get involved with.

::Jasmine::

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does anyone know any excuses that i could tell my parents when i come home with a hickey? they would kill me if they knew but i dont know what to tell them if they see it.. help!

Rug burn? Bug Bite? I really don't know, try looking at this website.

http://www.getridofthings.com/get-rid-of-a-hickey.htm

::Jasmine::

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Okay, so I was having the worst day pretty much and I was on facebook and I saw this kid lets call him Patrick[not his real name]'s facebook. I knew him a little bit because of my cousin and I knew a lot of his friends so I added him, and right after I did he messaged me. Okay to make a long story short; He said he saw me at this football game before, he told me all about his family[his gpa just died, and his parents/brother got mad at him] he also told me if he ever needed me he'd be sure to give me a call, and he said I could call him whenever, and then we talked more about the weekend and my family. Then he never answered something I said so two day's later I asked him if he was going to this football game and he said he was and asked if I was and I said yeah we should hang out unless you don't want to or if your in the cheering section the whole time, but if you wanna hang out just call me or find me[he ended up being in cheering section the whole time, and I saw him walking around at half time]. Then at like midnight he messaged me and asked where i was because he didnt see me, and were still talking over messaging. But the only thing is, is that he is a sophmore but could be a junior, and I'm a freshmen but I could be a sophmore, and idk if I even have a chance or if its worth it? I'm sorry if this is confusing, I can re-explain it if you want/or give you more detail, just tell me what you think.. like do I have a chance, is it worth it, or does he maybe like me? Thanks!

I think he likes you, it certainly sounds like he does. He's not going to tell you to call him if you ever need him if he's not into you. (That's really sweet by the way.) I don't see any problems...so go for it! I think you have a pretty big chance. Feel free to post something in my inbox, you weren't really sppecific on what you think the problem is.

::Jasmine::

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hi. 15/m
i've known this girl for about a month. i met her at a football game. she's really pretty and just all around great. great personality, etc...all the good stuff.
so last night, at another football game, i asked her out. we'd been talking over aim/facebook since we'd met and i really like her.
well after i asked her she thinks for a minute, then turns to me and says "i need to think about it". then i give her a hug because i had to leave.
well i got a message from her this morning after i got home from saturday varsity swim practice that said "i really really really like you but i don't really want a boyfriend right now...not saying i wont in a couple weeks or months but i dont want it to be awkward around us..." etc.
well we've been talking litterally like....all day. and so i think what i'm trying to ask is do i try again in a couple weeks or what? i don't really have much experience with girls...i've only ever had one girlfriend and so idk if i should try again later or if i should look for someone else...

thanks a bunch
G.M.

I think you should drop the subject for now; just be her friend and don't pressure her into a relationship. Usually when a girl says she doesn't want a boyfriend right now it's a no, but from her message I think it may be more of a 'I'm really not sure if I want a boyfriend.'

So continue to be her friend,and pay attention to how she acts around you. If she flirts with you or makes an effort to be around you a lot then maybe you should ask her out again in another month. If she says no then, or says the same thing, then it's a definite no.

::Jasmine::

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what does it mean whne a boy eats a girl out?

It's oral sex.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eating+out

::Jasmine::

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Yesterday when I was talking to my BF, I asked him if he got mad at me the night before and he said yea. Me and a bunch of our friends were sitting around a table in my friends backyard. There werent enough chairs so I sat on my BF's lap and one of my guy friends sat on my friend thats a girl's lap. There is an inside joke we have that she's a banana and I wanted to "squiish" her so I sat on the guys lap who was sitting on her. It wasnt even in a way at all that even seemed more thn friendly and my BF knows that and he knows I wouldn nver cheat on him in any way. I would never touch a guy I felt was in more than a friendly way. He got mad at me and I knew it right away cause he got really quiet. He also told me to never do it again when I feel I didnt even do anything wrong. I wasnt like rubbing up against the kid or making it seem at all more than just sitting on him. But the thing is, he's actually slept over a girl friend of his's house before I met her and all I knew was she was his ex. I did not get mad or jealous. He also went wasnt home for two days and idnt call me either one to tell me where he was or anything. I had to ask his sister. I didnt get mad at him for that either. I don't think I could trust him anymore than I do right now but it just makes me so angry he got madd over that.

Maybe he was just hurt that you were sitting on another guys lap, or maybe even jealous. Talk to him about it, how would you feel if another girl was sitting on his lap? I know I would hate it if a different girl was sitting on my boyfriends lap. It doesn't matter if you weren't doing anything overtly sexual. Like I said, he's probably more upset than actually angry, so try not to be to hard on him.

::Jasmine::

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I am an intelligent junior in high school and as of now i have yet to have a real boyfriend. i look at other girls walkin around w/ their guys and i get so left out. i dont know what i m not doing. i mean, when i like a guy, its pretty frickin obvious but i can never get them to notice me like i want. and if they do its one of those "courtesy talks", like they'd rather be doing something else.
i will probably graduate 1st in my class, as much as i m working now...
but my lovelife has yet to begin and i feel like i m working so hard, but still not feeling as satisfied/happy with my life as i want

You sound very smart and guys like that in a girl...or so I've been told. Maybe you just need to be a little more outgoing, go after the guys you want. Go up and talk to them; flirt with them.

If you let a guy really get to know you, I'm sure you'll have no problem finding a boyfriend, just don't pretend to be someone you're not. That'll come back and bite you in the ass. Whatever you do, though, don't lose focus on school, that's more important than guys.

::Jasmine::

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has anyone made out with pop rocks? does it work weird?

It'll probably be more fun than weird.

::Jasmine::

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I read this really good piece of advice on someone else's question.

Part of it is: "The truth is, it's not the pretty girls that get the guys, but the girls that are the most approachable."

Can anyone expand on that or give examples? Thanks in advance!

Have you ever heard the term Ice Queen? It's usually referred to a really pretty girl who's either really mean, or just really quiet and considered unapproachable.

What they're saying is that sometimes guys (well, non-shallow guys) look for girls who are more outgoing and easy to talk to, rather then a girl who's goegeous but doesn't have a very nice personality, or a really shy girl. (Don't get me wrong, it's perfectly okay to be shy, but some guys may think you're unapproachable)

Most guys prefer a girl with a good personality who's smart over a girl who's looks are suited for the cover of Vogue...unless they're just jerks, and there are plenty of those in the world.

::Jasmine::

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Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them? I really really think I love my boyfriend, but I don't know that I'm in love with him. Does that make sense? And if you do fall in love with someone, they say you will know pretty early on, right? Or can it happen later in a relationship? Thanks

There's actually a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them, so your question makes perfect sense.

When you love someone you can just love their personality, or love being around them or how they treat you. Or you can just love yourself when you're around them.

When you're in love with someone they're your eveything, nothing is more important then that person, and you can't imagine your life without them. To be in love with someone is to always want the best for them, to protect them, and to put there needs before your own.

People look at me funny when I say there's a difference...but hey, that's my opinion on the matter.

Love at first sight is possible, but to be in love at first sight isn't. I used to not understand that but now I do. Being in love with someone can take a while. It won't happen during the first few weeks, or maybe even months of a relationship, so don't worry.

Best of luck,

::Jasmine::

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Do you think it's possible to "Fully" trust someone again after they have lost your trust?!?!?

Thanks

I think it is possible, though it may take a lot of time. If someone loses your trust, then naturally you have a hard time trusting them again.

If you really want to be able to trust someone again and give them a second chance, then they need to prove that you can trust them. Over time if they don't do anything to lose your trust then little by little your faith in that person will return, but you have to want to be able to trust them again. You have to be able to forgive & forget.

::Jasmine::

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I am 14 and never have had a boyfriend nor kissed a guy . Is this bad?

No, it's not bad at all. You're perfectly normal, don't even worry abut it. Everybody is different; just because girls your age have had boyfriends or their first kisses doesn't mean you have to yet.

::Jasmine::

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http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michaeljackson/breakofdawn.html

are these kinda nasty lyrics?

It depends on where you are and who you're with. I'm sure these lyrics would be just fine at a club, but it's not something you would probably hear at a school function. It would be considered unapropriate.

::Jasmine::

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Seriously,I really dont know how.I mean people tell me it will come naturally but I need some explaining,anything will help.

Honestly, if you find the right guy, it will come naturally. There are different ways to make out and different guys will be different, so don't worry about it. If you want instructions then you should read these, they'll probably explain way better than I can and give you what you want.

http://www.wikihow.com/French-Kiss

http://myjellybean.com/guys/flirting/kiss.htm

Just go with the flow and try not to think about it to much or over-analyze afterward. You'll be fine, I promise.

::Jasmine::

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Ok,so im only 14...im biologically female...yet once im old enough im going to change my name to a males name which i have already picked...it will be kevin,and i plan on having chest surgery preferable key hole..but then hopefully i can get the cash for phalloplasty...does anyone know any really great doctors for that?? if im going to get a penis,i want it to look real natural

Well, first of all, I think you should be happy with your gender. So if being a guy will make you happy, then go for it. YG is right though, doctors won't even consider talking to you about it until you're 18 and you'll have to talk to a therapist. You can try talking to a doctor about what it's like, and what the surgery is like, but you shouldn't mention that that's what you want to do until you're older.

This operation will be very life altering, and might do a lot of damage to you...emotionally. So please be 100% certain this is what you want. You might consider talking to someone who's had it done to see how they feel about it, if they regret it. Do some research also, because you'll never be the same again. So I highly recomend you take my advice and talk to someone who has had the operation done, don't go into this lacking any sort of information about how this will affect you or your life.

I wish you luck in whatever decision you make

::Jasmine::

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