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Is there something wrong with me?
I am an intelligent junior in high school and as of now i have yet to have a real boyfriend. i look at other girls walkin around w/ their guys and i get so left out. i dont know what i m not doing. i mean, when i like a guy, its pretty frickin obvious but i can never get them to notice me like i want. and if they do its one of those "courtesy talks", like they'd rather be doing something else.
i will probably graduate 1st in my class, as much as i m working now...
but my lovelife has yet to begin and i feel like i m working so hard, but still not feeling as satisfied/happy with my life as i want
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Alright heres the long and short of it.
Most people like being able to somewhat manipulate those around them. Whether you like to make others laugh, and smile, or make them cry, its a common desire.
Men, in particular, have a tendancy towards being attracted to women they have some level of control over. Its the testosterone. Whether we can trick girls into doing what they want, whether all we have to do is ask, some guys need the command thing too, its a very common thing for most guys to be prey to.
Especially during puberty, when hormones are raging.
So enter you.
You are intelligent. We can sense that immediately. Possibly more than we are. We might not be able to get a good read on you and if we do, we are somewhat intimidated by what we see.
A girl who it is difficult to outsmart. A girl who seems impervious to cheeseball lines and all the other bullshit guys make up in high school to try to seem more attractive to the opposite sex.
We're stymied. You may even be hot, but we have no idea how to approach you. We dont know what you want. And we're scared of trying and finding out we dont measure up to your standards. Rejection is a bitch.
So heres you. Being avoided or treated courteously instead of hit on and flirted with. And you feel like its somehow a judgement negatively against you.
Its not.
One of two things will happen, if you wait long enough.
1) You will enter college. Probably a college that you have to work to get into. You will be around intellectual peers. Around men who find you a challenge rather than an intimidation. And you will become somewhat hot property to these kind of men.
2) You will end up in college and date someone much older. This person probably is just as smart or almost as smart, but has the edge in life experience, and thus comes off as wiser. (This has the danger of wearing off as you get more life experience)
The problem you have, is that you are a woman amongst boys. Chin up. It gets alot better after high school when the social hierarchy as you know it is completely destroyed.
::Edit::
See the first answer? Ignore idiots like that.
That is a common response from a guy who prefers his women stupid, or a girl who dates those guys.
Do not ever give up your drive to succeed. It is more important for you to be yourself and find someone who fits your good points (and motivation that keeps you in top grades is a good thing) than to settle for some asshole loser who wants to drag you down to his level so he doesnt feel like shit when he looks in a mirror.
::Edit 2::
Sorry. I get long winded.
Being outgoing was mentioned. That is a good thing. Theres another thing you can do.
There are many unconscious body movements people do when attracted to someone. These are body language things that are given and responded to almost exclusively unconciously.
1) Touch yourself. No, Im not telling you to start rubbing your nipples. When you are near a guy you like, fiddle with your hair. Lightly scratch your neck. Rub your upper lip. Lightly moving a finger over certain areas draws attention to them. The neck and shoulders are a common point of admiration. So are the hips.
I know girls who turn this into a game, seeing if they can get a guy to check them out without him actually intending to.
2) Smile. A genuine smile sets off reactions. If you want to (and I know this sounds stupid, but that doesnt make it a bad idea) practice your smile in the mirror. Get used to how it looks and how it feels. That way you can flash a coy "hi there sexy" smile whenever you want.
Well timed, you can make men walk into doors or traffic with that.
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You sound very smart and guys like that in a girl...or so I've been told. Maybe you just need to be a little more outgoing, go after the guys you want. Go up and talk to them; flirt with them.
If you let a guy really get to know you, I'm sure you'll have no problem finding a boyfriend, just don't pretend to be someone you're not. That'll come back and bite you in the ass. Whatever you do, though, don't lose focus on school, that's more important than guys.
::Jasmine::
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well instead of having a courtesy talk try a conversation about who they like or if they would like to go somewhere with you its always good to finish first in class but whats the point in it if you didnt have fun on your way there. so talk to a guy if they would like to do something with you and see what they say.
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this sounds just like i was in junior high. you have to learn to relax and not care as much about school work. i'm not saying don't do your homework or study, but just be a kid for a while and don't worry so much about school. the way i see things is i would rather have awesome memories and decent grades, than amazing grades but have no fun. once you loosen up a litte, boys will be coming up to talk to you. i promise.
just have fun!
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