My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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Hey i have an appt today to get on the pill and i was wondering what information to need with you when you fill out the paper work ? thanks (link)
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The doctor will ask you any questions he needs you to answer. He will probably also take your blood pressure, sexual activity history, he may weigh you, he will also ask about your periods and will then prescribe the right pill for you. Any answers you give will be strictly confidential so you don't have to worry about anyone else finding out.
I hope this has helped. All the best.
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I did masterbate a little lastnight but I got scared and stopped it doesn't hurt down there but should I go and get myself checked out anyways just to make sure? (link)
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If you are the person who recently had the baby then I am answering for that.
If there are no signs of blood or soreness then I think you are okay. I don't know how old the baby is so I am guessing the baby is only a few days old. It is a difficult thing to answer because I am not medically trained, I can only offer my own experience. I wanted to have sex before the six weeks was up and at about four weeks I had intercourse. Nothing happened to me and I didn't even worry about it until I heard some scare stories about women who had had intercourse too quickly after birth and suffered the consequences. I think the best person to ask would be the midwife and she can check you over for any signs of infection.
Don't stop masterbating if you enjoy it but just be aware that you may get an infection if you are not careful. Don't use any sex toys at the moment either, wait until you have been given the all clear.
I hope that I have eased your mind rather than scared you. Listen to what your own body is telling you because we all have an in-built instinct for our own welfare.
If I can help any further please let me know.
If I have answered incorrectly I apologise and please ask again with a few more details.
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Are there any clothes that can make my shoulders look broader? Thanks =) (link)
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Clothes that have shoulder pads sewn into them will broaden the shoulder. These are usually jackets, blouses and dresses. If you look at the styles of the 80s that will give you some idea of how they look.
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I just recently had a baby and i have alot of stitches in my vagina area i'm just wondering i've been feeling horny is it safe to materbate? (link)
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It might be a good idea just to leave off the masturbation for a couple more days. If you split the stitches you will have to wait a lot longer for the area to heal. Also, you may inadvertently introduce an infection into the stitches if you are not careful.
I have heard that it is not a good idea to have sex until at least 6 weeks after birth, without being sure of my facts I think it may cause air to be trapped somehow. Have a word with your midwife because I am sure she will have come across this before.
I know my answer is in the negative but the time will go pretty fast anyway. I wish you and your new baby a brilliant future. Good luck.
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i absolutely can't speak to my mother about this because all she does is try to use reverse phsycology on me or just tells me that i'm talking stupididies and i'm not! i really do feel this way and it's bugging me so much and there's nothing i can do to make myself stop feeling like this. i've tried! maybe this information will help a little:
i've always been very mature for my age. i was 9 when i got my period. so, i feel like i've grown up to fast and now is when it is just catching up to me. when i was like 9, i guess the best way to explain it is that i was like a 12 year old stuck in at 9 years old. i don't know how to explain it. it's jut kind of weird. so, i don't really know what kids do at 9. but, when i was 9, i would spend friday night's watching television while doing my hair and nails!
when i turned 12, the same thing happned. i was like 14 or 15 stuck at 12. i wanted to go out every weekend and party. so, not because i had to or anything, just because i didn't have anything better to do, i was asleep pretty early and i would lie there in my bed super mad because i wished that i was at party. i started going to parties like later being 12, like when i started jr. high but this was before the dances
then when the dances did start, i loved them. i would get so exited about every party i went to. and when i turned like 13, i would go to parties whenever i had the chance. i loved to get ready for parties and do my hair/makeup. i would just get so exited about it
now, i'm 15/f. and for some reason, i feel like i've grown up too fast. i'm not even interested in parties anymore. i dismiss invitatioins when they come in the mail but i still go because my mom makes me go. but, i don't want to be there yet! i want to be interested in parites. i want to get exited about it. i want to do my make-up and feel interested in it and all that stuff. but, i can't control it
for those of you that read this i thank you and i hope that you can give me some advice on what to do about this situation! ty again!!!!
:) (link)
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I take on board what you said about being more mature for your age and going through different phases of your life before your peers. Maybe at the moment you are just into being laid back for a while and happy to chill in your own company.
Possible in a year or twos time you will want to party again and have boyfriends. Your Mum probably feels she is making you go for your own good but if you can explain that at the moment you don't want to go perhaps she will back off a little.
Mums are very good at using reverse psychology on their children until they realise it will no longer work on them. It sounds to me as though you have reached that stage.
There is nothing wrong in not wanting to party all the time and perhaps you could use the extra leisure time to do something more constructive like revision or voluntary work. If your Mum sees that you are happily occupied then she may ease off a bit.
As for seeing a Psychologist, perhaps you have a Counsellor at school that you could talk all the options through with. It will give you an idea of where you see yourself going in the next few years.
I hope that I have given you some ideas on your approach to things. I wish you all the best.
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me and my husband are about ready to start trying for a child. we were just wondering, after he ejaculates...do i leave it in there or should i wash it out after an hour or so? (link)
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I would suggest leaving it in there for a while but if you feel the need to wash, do so. I hope that you fall pregnant quickly but if not I suggest you lay on your back with your legs up the wall for a while. I did this to conceive a child after not getting pregnant for a few months and it worked for me.
Should you find after a while that you are not falling pregnant, both of you should go and have a health check.
All the very best for the future.
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I lose my temper a lot when i am babysitting. I am making good money, but this girl is so annoying. I dont get that mean, but I just want to tell her to SHUT UP. I try to be nice and act interested in what she is saying, but she drives me crazy!
Does that make me a bad babysitter? (link)
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Your job is to focus on the child and be there completely for her. We all have times when we want to shout at children but don't carry it through because obviously the consequences would far outweigh the deed.
Distraction is usually very good at getting children to quieten down, why not try I-spy or counting games, reading a book together or doodle art. The more wound up you get, the more she will play on it.
Another ploy that has been used very successfully in our house is reverse psychology. For example: when the child is screaming very loud you could tell her you can't hear her and would like her to scream louder. After a while she will get fed up and say no. Another one is if she won't put on her pyjamas tell her that you don't want her to put them on. Children are perverse in that they like to do the exact opposite of what you want them to do, so the fact that you are saying one thing usually makes them do the other.
It doesn't sound like you are a bad babysitter to me. I wish you well.
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I have a friend who is mad at me. I wont say why but she says she will never talk to me again. I tried to work it out but she wont listen to me. WHat should I do? (link)
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We all say and do things that will annoy those closest to us and think that it will be the end of our friendship.
Once you have given her a little space to calm down, I suggest you pop a note through her door to either apologise or explain the actions/words that upset her so much.
If you honestly believe that you had good reason to say/do what you did, then also tell her you felt that as her friend you needed to be honest with her.
If she refuses completely to talk to you there is not a lot you can do about it. Accept that sometimes people go their different ways and learn from it.
I hope that I have given you some good advice. Take care.
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I have thought about having sex with my boyfriend!!! but then it seems like it would hurt really badly!!! so what can I do just to keep it from just being so painful!!!
Plz help me!!!
Signed Helpless!!! (link)
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If you tense up because you fear it will hurt, then it probably will.
Ask your boyfriend to take things very slowly so that you are more relaxed and ready to go a bit further. Make sure you are moist down there because that will help too. Also tell him before you start that if it does hurt he must stop immediately so that you can get a little more relaxed.
It is all trial and error to begin with so the fun will be in discovering what works for you. All the best.
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This weekend, I'm visiting my girlfriend for the weekend. Unfortunately, on Saturday she has been invited to her ex's 21st birthday party. She says that he and his family are still good family friends, although she never hangs out with them or talks to them. So she is going and is dragging me to the party. I have expressed the fact that I feel uncomfortable about this, but she has taken a "Tough Shit" attitude towards my feelings. Is it irrational for me not to want to go and is there any way out of this? Help! (link)
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You have voiced your feelings to her and she has explained why she feels you both ought to go.
She obviously wants you by her side and perhaps feels that she can openly wish her ex a happy birthday without feeling she is sneaking off behind your back.
You are feeling what a lot of people may feel in the same circumstance but I think you should be proud that she wants you there and is happy to show you off.
I don't think you should let her down and make her go alone, if only because you will be wondering if she is enjoying her ex's company again.
I wish you all the best whatever decision you make.
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my boyfriend has fingered be a couple times before, and i was wondering what i should do about shaving downthere? what to guys prefer?? i need to know if i should do something differently. and any other tips or things i should know about fingering and things like that. any advice would help! (link)
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If you want to shave down there then go ahead and do it. It is all down to personal choice. I think that to begin with just tidying up the area little is better than getting rid of everything.
The advice that I would suggest regarding fingering is:
Always make sure the guy has clean fingernails and they are fairly short.
Always make sure that their hands and fingers are very clean.
Don't allow him to use any foreign objects in your vagina.
Don't let him carry on if you are sore or bleeding. (Bleeding may occur if he is rough or has sharp fingernails).
Never let him use his penis without a condom.
I hope that this answers your questions a little. Take care.
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ok me and my boy friend have been dating foe like 3 months if u add it..we dated 2 times.....he fingers me alot and i like realy like it..duh hahahaha....but if you can use three fingers withough it not hurting then will it when i have sex? should i have sex or will he leave me? he says to me he wants me to be happy and he wants to spend the rest of my life with him and stuff and hese even waiting until im ready till we have sex but if i did have sex with him would he leave me? i need help if you have any advice please help thanxz(p.s.) he has already had sex
~trisha~ (link)
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Your vagina is a brilliant piece of nature in that it can stretch to allow a babys head to pass through it, so in order to answer your first question, no it will not hurt if you are relaxed and ready.
However, I really think that you should wait until you are more settled in your relationship and have learnt a lot more about his character before having sex.
As for whether or not he will leave you after having sex, no one can really tell you the answer.
If he is a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy, then yes once he has had his way with you then he will go on to another conquest.
If he is genuine about being with you then he will consider your feelings and not rush you into anything you don't want to do.
If you trust him, and you are ready for it, go ahead and enjoy your first sexual intercourse. However, just a cautionary note, please use a condom at all times.
All the very best.
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I'm going to put this as clean as I can.
I had sex, and was giving the guy a hand job before hand and didnt finish him off.
He penetrated me a few times before putting on a condomn.
I haven't missed a period yet, but I should be getting it any day now.
But I've not felt well at all in the morning, my breasts have been really sore, plus I've been neasuated somewhat.
I'm not sure if it's possible I could be pregnant? I need some help here, and asap..thanks. (link)
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Yes it is possible that you are pregnant but pregnancy tests, like everything else, are not 100% accurate.
I would advise you to go and see a doctor when you have gone past your period date. Once you have established if you are pregnant, you can decide what you need to do next.
If you are lucky enough not to have fallen pregnant, I suggest you seriously think about going on the pill or some other contraceptive. Use it in conjunction with a condom at all times. This will protect you to a greater degree from the risk of infections etc. and further pregnancy scares.
I wish you all the best.
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Okay well about a week or so ago I had sex. well the guy didnt use a condom which I know is bad but he did pull it out before spermen. n when he did that some had got on the inner lining of my underwear by my croch area. I manage to whip alot of it off but am I still at risk.
(link)
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You most certainly are at risk. Not just from getting pregnant but also from infections. You should consider all the results of unprotected sex:-
Babies
HIV
STDs
Yeast infections
AIDs
If your period does not come you must go and have a pregnancy test. If it is negative put it down to experience and don't repeat the same mistake. If you are pregnant you will need to get advice on what to do next.
Take care of yourself at all times.
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UNHYGENIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I have a freak in my schooll who plays like every sport known to man and she never takes a shower! She is verery manly and to add to it she reiks!!!!She is in most of my classes so cant get rid of the stench,to make matters worse he thinks i am her best friend!Sometimes the smell sinks into my clothes and hair and i cant get it out so people think I smell!
-In need of a shower! (link)
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How awkward for you. If you are brave enough you could buy her a deodorant and a shower gel and tell her discreetly that she has a little hygiene problem. It is possible that she is from a home that does not discuss bodily functions etc., and perhaps needs to be made aware that bodily hygiene is more favourable than eau de natural.
If that would be too upfront for you then perhaps you need to talk to one of her teachers and ask for their advice. They will have come across this problem before and should know how to deal with it.
I hope that this helps a little because it will be quite an embarrassing thing for her when she realises other people are talking about her. Try to be tactful in your dealings with her, imagine how you would feel in her situation.
I wish you all the best with this problem.
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On average, how long does it usually take to get a guy to ejaculate by oral sex? and by a handjob? I know it's weird to ask, but I'm just wondering so I know whether I'm doing an okay job at this point. Thank you. (link)
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It really depends on how excited the guy is getting a blow job or a hand job. If he is very excited then either technic may not last long - maybe a few minutes. However, if he is not really bothered then it can take a little while.
If your guy is enjoying what you do then you are doing okay. Every guy is different and every guy will take different amounts of time. Just enjoy what you do. All the best.
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Hey Lin!
I was just wondering, I know you have done counselling. I have been trying to find a weekend course to do with Poole Adult Learning and there is a two days Introduction To Counselling Course, which I really want to sign up for, just to know if I might be any good at it.
I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about counselling as a career. I'm nervous I might not be up to it because of my various problems... (link)
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I will answer your question in person.
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Who determines what is polite and what isn't? How does everyone begin to acknowledge these "rules"? (link)
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Usually a parent determines how polite or not a child will grow up to be. It is something that tends to be passed down through the generations if the parent raises their child to the same standards.
Remembering to say please and thank you are normally where the "rules" begin. Writing thank you letters (generally going out of fashion now) and acknowledging when someone has done a favour for you like opening doors, are just basic politeness.
We all react nicer to politeness than to rudeness. Being told to ****** off for example does nothing to endear you to some people. I have found that because children tend to be left to their own devices more often nowadays, there are no guidelines for them to follow regarding social etiquette.
It is hard work raising children to be polite, kind, well-rounded human beings and in my own personal view, it is a job that is not being done too well nowadays.
It costs nothing to say something nice but a small number of the younger generation are too full of themselves and enjoy making life very unpleasant for others.
I hope that I have answered your question properly and I have not offended anyone in my answer.
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do you think that a best friend you've had through middle school can remain your best friend in high school if you are very close right now? (link)
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As long as you continue to enjoy each others company and have the same interests, then there is no reason whatsoever to lose that friendship.
People do drift apart when their life circumstances change, but often if you change together then you share another experience.
If you continue to make the effort of staying in touch and sticking together you should find that your friendship will grow.
All the very best in your new school.
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Yes just now i went into my moms room and i went in her closet and i found a bucket and i opened it and it was full of vomit i began crying and throwing things.. i had a feeling that she was doing that because one time i found vomit in the trash and she lied right to my face and said she was sick.. but she did it on purpose and i should of known that she eats a lot and she is extreamly skinny and weighs less than me.. i wrote her a not and put it on the bucket sayin that we need to talk and get you some help but i just have a feeling that shes gonna end up lying to me.. i mean im just have so much goin through me right now because im affraid she gonna end up killin herself and im just soo pissed off and upset
so it u would please please someone help me cuz i dont know what else to do :( (link)
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I am so sorry that you are having to deal with your Mums issues. If you have a Dad around it would be a good idea to tell him. If not, is there another adult member of your family that you can talk to? This is your Mums problem not yours, but I do understand that it directly affects you. I can also understand your anger towards your Mum for doing this to herself. She needs professional help and the first person you need to approach with or without adult support is her doctor.
Your Mum has definitely got problems that need to be sorted out before she can start her recovery. People who deal with bullimia can best understand why she is hurting herself this way and can treat her mind as well as her body.
This is not going to be easy for you and you need to get support for yourself as well. If you are still at school ask to see the counsellor who can then point you in the right direction.
Your Mum will probably lie to you, perhaps in an effort to protect you from her illness, but you have to be strong for both of you and help her to face up to this. I don't know how old you are but I am guessing you are fairly young. Please start today with finding support for yourself. I wish you all the very best and hope that your Mum makes a good recovery. Take care.
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