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who decides?
Who determines what is polite and what isn't? How does everyone begin to acknowledge these "rules"?
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Etiquette?
this is a very complex question. in the grand scheme of things it is learned culture and social norms that tell you what is polite and what isn't. just because they are norms does not mean they are "correct" "moral" or "right."
People acknowledge these rules through what is called identification- which is implicitly understanding a norm through exposure of other people practicing it, and in turn practicing it yourself. When you practice it yourself, you believe it is "right" even if it isn't. This is usually an unconscious thing. This process of identification as culture through learning goes with almost everything we do in our lives, you may not think about how you know what you know or why, but this is why.
To learn more, I suggest you read Van Elst's "Culture as Given, Culture as Choice."
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Some manners are just common sense,
1. Dont sneeze on some one elses food
2. Cover your mouth when you cough
3. Show somebody that you acknowledge something nice that they did by saying thank you
4. Be polite when asking someone else to do a favor for you by saying please
Other manners are probably made up and passed down to people, then they tell, then this huge chain of telling people these weird manners starts, and people follow them
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No one in particular decides. It's all about what you and your family consider being good manners. It's kind of what you learned growing up. For example, some think that burping or smacking your lips are a way of complimenting the chef, while others find this completely appalling. It's mainly about common sense on what's nice and what's not.
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To be short, usually they are based on cultural ideas. No person decides on them its more of a society among a culture type thing. People usually begin to acknowledge these rules through their parents or by watching what other people do.
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To answer this properly would take a whole semester's course in Sociology!
No person in particular chooses the rules of politeness that we follow, they are a consensus decision reached by all of us as a culture.
The rules do change as time goes on, and the rule are different for different groups and cultures.
However, what they mostly have in common is the sense that you're considering another person's feelings and not acting like the world revolves around yourself.
Saying "Please" and "Thank you" acknowledges that you're speaking to a real person, and not just a robotic slave there to fulfill your needs and wants.
Ignoring someone or interrupting them is the same as telling them that what they have to say isn't important to you.
For a more in depth discussion on how people arrive at a consensus for these rules we follow, you might want to start with a good Sociology text.
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Usually a parent determines how polite or not a child will grow up to be. It is something that tends to be passed down through the generations if the parent raises their child to the same standards.
Remembering to say please and thank you are normally where the "rules" begin. Writing thank you letters (generally going out of fashion now) and acknowledging when someone has done a favour for you like opening doors, are just basic politeness.
We all react nicer to politeness than to rudeness. Being told to ****** off for example does nothing to endear you to some people. I have found that because children tend to be left to their own devices more often nowadays, there are no guidelines for them to follow regarding social etiquette.
It is hard work raising children to be polite, kind, well-rounded human beings and in my own personal view, it is a job that is not being done too well nowadays.
It costs nothing to say something nice but a small number of the younger generation are too full of themselves and enjoy making life very unpleasant for others.
I hope that I have answered your question properly and I have not offended anyone in my answer.
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