That sounds very frustrating. Have you talked to your mom about your feelings and how you are confused and hurt by the unequal treatment? You should have some more responsibility than your younger brother, but also more freedom and choices. Best of luck!

Hey am I wrong or did I already answer this question? Anyway, my advice is to move on for a while and give him space. Be friendly, but don't limit yourself to only him. He may have just been caught off guard, or really just sees you as a friend only. Either way is okay, because he is not the only guy in the world...there are million of potential men out there for you! I would actually tell him in a very mature voice that you thought that little incident was funny and that it was cute how he got all embarrassed. Tell him that you are cool with being just friends. He will be less nervous that way, and more open to continuing where you left off. Just don't put all your hope into this one guy. Love may or may not bloom here, but the good news is that you are not rooted and can move on when needed!

Updated... after feedback from questioner who said,"That was great advise but... I dont rate people in a good way I make it so there rating is horribble." My advice is now... get a life! Your rating did not count anyway, and neither do you!;)

--------------------------------------------------
Prior advice:
What is the worst that could happen? If the two of you do not have a mutual attraction, then just be friendly and have fun anyway. There should not be pressure to be more than friends even if you are both adorable, because relationships are far more complicated than that. So, the actual worst that could happen is already happening...you are getting overly fixated and excited about extreme possibilities. You will most likely be disappointed if you expect too much or too little, so keep an open mind and a cautious heart. There are a million other guys you will date in your life, so don't fret too much or get too wrapped up in this guy either way. Have fun and just go with the flow!

"...our former Payroll Coordinator, who for some reason I feel had it out for me. Gossip became a mainstream and it was like everytime I would turn around I would be getting in trouble for little, stupid petty things and criticized for things in my personal life. So, I withdrew and I have kept my personal life, just that. I finally put everything together that the payroll bitch was keeping tabbs and telling my boss everything I done was wrong, etc."

Questions: What is the mystery of why she "had it out" for you? What do you consider "little, stupid petty things" in your personal life? Obviously your boss comes back from talking with her and is annoyed with something you have done, so it cannot be that petty to her. It is always wise to keep your personal and profession life separated. You learned that the hard way. My advice is to re-examine the little things that you have said or done that pisses both these people off and would make your work miserable. It is worth taking a deeper look and dealing with if possible. If you can be more specific, leave me something in my inbox, and I will try to help you sort this out.

Yeah, I think that is really in right now to do a lighter color underneath. Have a professional do it, to avoid regrets!

Cute, very Cute! Sometimes we need to follow our intuitions whether or not they succeed. You need to be the romantic guy you were meant to be and don't change no matter if this works or fails. Eventually you will find a girl that trutly loves it about you.

Goodness, you have it really tough don't you? Tell her you already have sooooooooo much and she can get you whatever she wants to. There is really more enjoyment in surprises and gifts from the other person's heart. Try giving her some appreciation and ask her what you can give HER this year. It is undoubtably and profoundly always better to give than to receive. The blessings are huge!!! Some things cannot be bought. Volunteer some time together or shop for Angel Tree gifts for children of prisoners, or work for a soup kitchen...so many wonderful volunteering opportunities right now, and YOU will be the one with a super full and joyful heart when all is said and done. That beats out another shiny piece of crap you won't remember in a few months anyway.

Fear and Love don't mix. The more insecure you are, the less love will bloom. Don't drive him away by clinging too close and asking to much. He may be willing to sacrifice now, but could end up really regretting it later. Love, real love, is about wanting the best for the other person, even if it means less for ourselves. It you really love each other and I mean more than feelings and words, than your actions will show it and you will both be happier in the long run. Never trade long term greatness for short term mediocrity.

How about a great date together and a picture of the two of you having a great time to remember you by. Don't let his last memory be of you crying your eyes out or whining. Tell him you want to keep in touch at least as friends and that you will never forget him. You two may very well have a good chance of getting together later if you part on the friendliest of terms and don't put pressure on him to keep a long distance commitment that will NOT work anyway. Time and memories are the best gifts, so incorporate both into your own creative style of giving.

1. No
2. No, follow my tips in the previous answered question.
3. Slowly and at a pace you are comfortable with. Know your boundaries beforehand and talk about them with your partner beforehand! Carry protection if you plan on having sex...hopefully not for at least a few more years.

Inexperience is not weird. No one can tell you how you should kiss, but if you think you are ready and have the opportunity, you can try these tips.
1. Have extrememly fresh breath (no onions or garlic beforehand).
2. No slobbers!
3. Keep your tongue in your own mouth to start and just lip kiss until you get that down.
4. When you want to play tongue, keep it short and use the tip. No one needs or wants a tongue stuck down their throat!
5. Close your eyes and enjoy it. Stop to make eye-contact. Smile. Repeat!
6. Kissing is great, so savor the moment and don't feel the need to go beyond kissing for the time.
7. Kissing can be really hot if it is slow and starts with little kisses, so never rush or be rushed. Control the tempo and remember slower is better...I can't stress this enough!!!
8. Beware of germs and herpes that spread by kissing...yucky, but reality.
9. Carry Mints, Breathe spray, but not gum! You can't be ready to kiss if you are both chewing gum! Spitting it out first just is not classy.
10. Finally, wait for the right person, because you can never have another FIRST.

I already had taken care of that weeks ago, but I guess you never read the edited answer?
-------------------------------------------------
Q: so. my friend just got this new bf. and hes amazing, we were chillin one day and i met his friend,at that moment i knew i had to have him.not only is he amazingly gorgeous but hes sweet anf funny and i just cant describe it. he comes from a rough-ish homelife and hes still amazing i see through his "tough guy" act i see him for what he is for who he is. BUT of course he doesnt even think of me in that way, not even close, hes like in love with this other girl and it tears me apart, i reeeeeeeeeeeeeally like him but im cluless as to what im supposed to do, how do i win his heart???????



A.
...oh, that changes things, thank goodness! Now that I've had my coffee, I can tell you that you always have a chancee and that as long as he is not "with" this other girl, you should definately go for it. You are pretty fortunate in the situation, because your friend can set you up with him by the four of you going out as friends. Casual double-dates could turn into more. He does not know you enough yet, so give him the chance and make a good impression. He may be hot for another right now...but that does not mean you can't be in the running.

He is a little old for you right now. Go out with guys your age for a couple more years. You are not on the same level as you will be once you are a senior...looking back you will know exactly what I mean! I was in your situation once, and I was so thankful later that the guy respected our age difference and did not take advantage of me.

Nothing just happens, but it can feel like that when you start getting physical. Guys can get very aggresive and demanding or they can quietly and smoothy just take charge without asking permission. This is wrong of course, but unfortunately it happens. You need to be the one to set limits and boundaries. A good one is keep your clothes on and no below the waist contact. Your friends know that you will have a hard time keeping your virginity if you continue down this road with this guy. Self-control is not something one tries to muster at the last moment, but something that is decided and commited to before one gets into a tempting situation. Decide before you are around him what you want, and don't ever compromise your values for anyone no matter what.

You can regret letting the second guy take advantage of you and making you uncomfortable, but you don't owe the first guy anything and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Three weeks is not "your whole life" so slow down. Talk to this guy about the three week thing, and ask him if he would like to keep dating and talk about whether or not he wants it to be exclusive or an open relationship.

Do this only 2-3 times a week to avoid overdrying. Still use a good facial lotion made for dry skin and cleaser made for dry skin. Eat salmon for a great skin glow!

Eat a high protein breakfast to rev up your metabolism and never skip meals. Eat smaller portions and just cut out junk and fast food and soda. Keep hydrated with 8 glasses of water to keep the metabolism functioning at top rate. Muscle burns fat, so do some push-ups and squats every day. Feed your muscles healthy protein, and they will help you burn fat! It is not about the scale! Measure real weight loss with a tape measure around your waist!!! The waist is the place to measure FAT loss!

There are amazing over the counter treatments to rid those nasty things in no time, so go to your local store and look for specifically the ones that spot treat blemishes. Do not use a harsh medicine all over that is made for acne, because it will dry out your skin and that creates an oil making party in your pores and you wind up with more zits. Use a gentle cleaser, lotion with spf protection and just spot treat blemishes.

No one can blame you for feeling mad. You are entitled to own whatever feelings you wish to hold. Just don't hold onto negative feelings for long, because they do you harm. Five months is a long time at your age or any age to date. It sounds like he was already not the best guy for you, and his moving on quickly to a newer version of you, only proves his immaturity. I bet they don't last five months, but that is not important. Rejection always hurts the ego, but you know deep down he is not the one you are going to marry. So, move on and start dating for fun and start making new friends, ones that will respect you more than this girl did. It just is not cool what she did, but it is something that immature and insecure girls sometimes do. She may not even like him that much, but has a need to compete with you and prove she is as good as you by taking your guy. You are lucky to be rid of both of them. We cannot help our attractions, but we do choose what we do about them. She did not even consider your feelings and is very selfish. Move on!!!

See a doctor to rule out other medical conditions with simular symtoms! Don't treat yourself with over the counter products until you see a physician. Any medical clinic will do! If it is a yeast infection, there are many remedies to choose from. Prevention is the best medicine, so drink cranberry juice, eat lots of yogurt, and always always always wipe front to back and avoid any back there germs from spreading into your vagina during sexual contact.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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