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confused
my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over a month.
he's 16, almost 17, and i'm 14, almost 15.
i'm afraid these things are just going to snowball into something bad.
he totally respects me and my decisions, but i didn't want to do anything past making out and it just happened and he fingered me.
i don't ever want to do oral, and he respects that, but all my friends tell me i'll give in and it's just something you end up wanting to do.
and i don't want to have sex until i'm married, because i don't want to get pregnant before then.
i'm just scared i won't have an self control.
advice?
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Nothing just happens, but it can feel like that when you start getting physical. Guys can get very aggresive and demanding or they can quietly and smoothy just take charge without asking permission. This is wrong of course, but unfortunately it happens. You need to be the one to set limits and boundaries. A good one is keep your clothes on and no below the waist contact. Your friends know that you will have a hard time keeping your virginity if you continue down this road with this guy. Self-control is not something one tries to muster at the last moment, but something that is decided and commited to before one gets into a tempting situation. Decide before you are around him what you want, and don't ever compromise your values for anyone no matter what.
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i'm in the same exact situation, except i'm 15 and he's 17
hah, wow
well, i know exactly what you mean, though
i'm scared i'll just end up giving in, and i've lost some of my morals just cause i care deeply about him
have you talked to him about this at all?
that's what i did. i told him that i'm not ready yet for sex, and all that stuff and he said no pressure
like the girl said about being in open rooms, do that. and make sure you're around company but when you're wanting to be alone just... try as hard as you can to fight your urges, even though it seems impossible.
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okay i, first off, want to tell you how wise you are for your morals. nowadays you don't find many girls who actually have any. believe me it will be hard to keep your self control around him if you care deeply about him. there are ways you can minimize this for example: don't put yourself in a position where y'all can have sex. try to stay in public, or if you are alone make sure you are in a place where someone could just walk in. that worry can help you keep a lil' strength. and have the thought of maybe becomming pregnant in your mind at all times. i know it sounds harsh, but it has to be done. just remember to try and stay out of situations where y'all are tempted to have sex. i hope this helped you some. take care
*Z*
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