Hi there!
So I have been dating/together with this guy (mike) ever since January. When I met him ,he was crazy obsessed with me. He would text me nonstop. Try and hangout all the time. Beg for me to date him,etc. I wasn't really into that,but I decided to give him a chance because he's a verry nice guy. As we began dating,I started to Act more interested than I did in the beginning. I guess I would be more clingy,expect lots of texts and hangouts. Basically I just craved his attention. As I started doing that,he began to show less interest. Since its summer,we both had to go home(we go to the same university). So we planned to stay together but we were gonna be two hours away for the summer (in the fall we live like a mile away from each other). I guess you could say I expected lots of texts,"I miss yous " and attention. I didn't really get it.. I would tell him tht he needs to show he cares and blah blah. I would complain to him all the time. Especially when I was drunk. He would get super annoyed and tell me to stop bringing it up. One night I went to visit him and I ruined it. I brought it up again. At that point ,he basically told me that was my last straw and that it's over and that we can just be friends. We had a calm talk and he ended it. He cried his eyes out and watched me walk out. We had bought tickets to go on a Disney trip and we said we would still go as "friends". The breakup was exactly one week ago and he has barely texted me at All. He texted me once asking how I am and if we are still going on the trip because he still wants to go with me. The trip is in a few days and im hoping that I make this trip my one and only chance to get back with him. He doesn't know that I'm heartbroken because I fake that I'm having a good time. Help!
Hey,
So firstly its important to understand that going on this trip will not make him want you back.
Absense really does make the heart grow fonder, so time apart could make you guys see things in a different light.
Also, I'd be careful. Which would you rather a) being regarded as a pushover/doormat or b) being regarded as a strong independant woman who wont take any nonsense?
most would say the last one.
By 'still being friends', he's keeping his foor in the door just in case he wants loving in the future. It sounds to me like he's using you, because exes are never really ever just 'friends'.
If I were you, even though the tickets are booked, I'd not go. You need to create barriers somewhere, else his desision to break up will be futher justified.
I was put in a similar situation myself, and I came to realise that it was his loss and so he needed to feel like it. If he doesn't want to be with you and you can't have a good time being 'just friends', whats the point? It wont lead anywhere, or at least it didn't for me.
Obviously it's up to you, but personally I'd say prove your worth more and that your're not a walk over, and walk away.
Good luck :)
[view]
I'm not from north america. That's for starters. I really wan't to be succesful in college and have a good life. But I don't know what I should study that I would like but that could also help me in economy. I LOVE to write and draw and was thinking about journalism but I like it better in English. Where I'm from universities don't cost as much as in U.S. but there is nothing that has to do with what I like AND in English. I'm 16 but tons of people keep telling me that I need to choose from now and I know they are right. It also scares me going to college and ending up miserable.
Hey!
I'm from England-so I'm guessing because fees here are about to become soo expensive you're not?
And I'm also 16, and also (not making this up) I want to be a journalist.
Firstly, you need to do something you love. Because then you'll be able to really progress in you're career, and you'll be motivated at least enough to get you out of bed in the morning.
Why don't you check out for journalism degrees? If not, then you could always do an english degree as thats what you're good at, and maybe even a postgraduate degree somewhere else in journalism?
But what I've done is I've already gained work experience even just for a week in a public relations department with the local council writing press releases. So this could help.
Alot of the time, universities and employers don't want a bore or a know it all. They want someone who has a bit of an edge and stands out.
So I'd suggest you write articles and send them into newspapers and trade magazines. You're going to get a few no's at first, but then the yes will eventually come. And this shows you have a passion for the subject and stand out from people that are only able to perform well in exams but have no redeeming qualities.
So to reap, its you're choice what degree you do, but I'd make sure (like me) that you do extra pieces of writing and gain recognition for this right now, constantly, as it'll show you've got that pasion for the subject most employers want.
Good luck :)
[view]
There is a boy I dated and he said it wasn't working out for him.And he said he didn't like me. So we broke up and I still can not get over him because I see him every day so I can not avoid him.
This has happened to many people including myself, so firstly you're not alone.
Commonly this happens at school/college because obviously education still goes on.
So its a different ball game you've got to play.
You have to accept that you'll see one another alot for now and in the years to come. But you have to keep telling yourself that it wont always be this way.
Write out any negative things about him, and remind yourself of them everytime you feel like you want him back. For a start-he said he didn't like you! So he doesn't sound worth it to me!
Its best to start to PRETEND that your over him. Ignore him, act almost like you guys never dated. Eventually, you will forget about him completeley, as you've trained yourself up to ignore him.
Good luck :)
[view]
ok so the talent show is going on and i need ideas!!quick!!
Well if its a talent show I'm guessing theres some sort of prize?
I'd say that most people sing and dance so you wont really stand out so why not try a magic trick, or a specialist kind of song like a rap.
Its up to you :)
[view]
i've been talking to this boy for 2 weeks now. i'm starting to really like him, and i think he really likes me also. the only problem is he is still in love with his ex girlfriend. he brought up a couple times already comments regarding his ex. i think he was unaware of it though.
so i went on his facebook today and saw the pictures of them still up. updated only a month ago. i know they're not still seeing each other. i'm afraid if i continue to see him i might really fall for him and get hurt in the long run. what would you do in my situation?
Although it seems unfair at first, I'd say it's more pain than its worth, so If I were you I'd leave it with this guy.
If he's talking about his ex either consciously or unconsciously its clear he hasn't moved on yet. So if you get into a relationship with him now then chances are it'd be a 'rebound' relationship-he needs to love someone else so he can't face up to the feelings he still has about his ex.
I myself have been at the recieving end o f arebound relationship-and what you'll find is they're not worth it and also when it ends he'll get back with his ex pretty quickly.
If you want this guy you have to make him want or feel like he needs you. The best thing? Silent treatment! No communication will make him wonder-absense makes the heart go fonder right? In my exereince this does work, but then again I don't know details such as the legnth of the breakup etc..
Whatever you decide to do-good luck :)
[view]
hi, im a 17 year old female. Im a Christian, God and i are really tight. im known amongst my friends as being the pure, innocent Christian one who would never hurt a fly. i have never drunk or done drugs, havent dated, and i neverrr swear. But, ocassionally i can get in the mood to satisfy some certain... wants.
you see, every now and then, ill read these manga with really lewd sex scenes in them on a website. some ofthem can get pretty graphic. now dont get me wrong, ihave never and WILL never masturbate. but every now and again, ill just randomly want to look them up. now, i have never watched sex animes or looked up real life porn. ive looked up manga, and read some certain dirty fanfictions, but never anything worse. ill only read them for about 15 minutes or so before i get this huuuuugely awful feeling in my stomach, and stop. then i proceed to immerse myself in as much innocent things as i can in orderto get those awful images out of my head.
im not trying to make excuses for myself or justify my actions, but im saying they're not as extreme other people's can be, and I am certainly nooot addicted to it. but... yeah.
can any Christian, or well, you don'thave to be Christian, people relate to what im doing or feeling? i just want to make sure im not insane. Thanks. :)
Hey,
I'm Christian to, though with you I don't think this is relevent.
You're 17. So you're finding out who you are. Everyone-even the quiet geeky guy in class has felt this urge at some point, even if not following it through. It's a teenage thing. Think about it. Everyone uses pragmatics for different positions and most people lie about sex. Teens are therefore bound to be confused. So the solution? Look this stuff up! Unconsciously you're curious, but consciously you feel abit 'in the mood'.
When you enter you're first serious relationship, this should stop. But unless its getting you upset and down don't worry. At least you've admitted to what you're doing :)
[view]
Hi there.
I'm hoping someone has some ideas. My kitty is four years old, female, and spayed. She and I live alone, and if there's any kind of a sudden noise, or anything that might sound remotely like hissing, especially from outside, she's a big ball of poof.
These noises can be anything from the sound of rain to a car driving past our apartment. She's actually afraid of outside. I've never worried about her or put a collar on her because if you open a door that leads out of the apartment, she'll run the other direction.
If she was a human, I'd call it generalized anxiety disorder with agoraphobia. She's been like this since I adopted her as an 11-week old kitten. She's never been abused, or anything...
I don't like the idea of drugging my cat, but earlier she got startled and ran so hard into the other room that she stripped a layer off a couple of her back claws and they were sensitive when I touched them. I know it's normal for cats to shed claw layers as they grow new ones, but I'm worried she's going to hurt herself one of these times, and her little heart beats so fast when she's scared... I just want to help her. I know there's, like, cat Xanax, but even I don't want to take that, let alone give it to her. :(
Should I do something about this, or just accept her nervous temperament and give her lots of hugs?
Hey,
So this sounds like something most kittens go through-but maybe she's just a youthful cat.
I had this issue with one of my cats who was only 6 months old and doing this. Partly, it's to do with diet. Giving you're cat plain wet food or just dry buscuits should be effective. I'm no vet, though a vet recommended this for my cat. The thing is wet, supermarket food contains lots of additives which is what makes cats so frisky.
So I say stick to either plain food (such as simple chicken in gravy) and lots of cat biscuits from healthy brand (like Iams) will calm your cat down.
It may also be because she's bored. Think about it. Would you like to spend all day everyday in the same setting? Fair enough, if your cat doesn't like going outside, this is very common.
Why not invest in some catnip toys, and play with her. This will make her exhausted, which will flood her with relaxation and so she'll be less jumpy. This is called in psychology as 'flooding', and should also decrease fears she has aswell.
Hope this helps and my inbox is always open. Good luck :)
[view]
I have never had a first kiss before. His do you kiss someone?
Firstly make it count-so make it be with a boyfriend/girlfriend (depending)
Then just look at their lips and kinda go for it I guess. Not to much though at first or it my be freaky.
If it helps pretend its not your first kiss, so the nerves are not their.
[view]
Im pretty young female teen and Well i have a boyfriend but we never had sex and i didnt have sex with no one im still a virgin. But i have sex by myself and i was wondering if im pregnant cuz i am getting fatter and some pains in my stomach once in awhile. Can it be real if im pregnant yes or no
Are you being serious?
Of course you can't be pregnant :) But if you did have serious doubbts about this me thinks you're too uninformed and immature to being consenting yet anyways :)
[view]
Ok so I was playing football and it bent my finger backwards and I got it x-rayed and I have a 1.1mm fracture (a broken bone) and they put it in a splint for a week. It looks like a nail file attached to my finger with tape (nothing special) and I dont think it will heal within a week. Well will it? I know the docter said it would but I honestly dont trust him. Wont it still be broken? (Btw haha, I broke my middle finger) =P
Well it varies but at most a month, in past experience. Just make sure you stay stress free because then you're body will speed up its recovery.
[view]
So me and my boyfriend have been "together" for about 3-4 months. He used to be obsessive over me and want to hangout ALL the time. About 2.5-3 months into our relationship , I guess you could say I started to act more interested and wanting to hangout more. I could tell he wasnt as happy as he used to be so I asked him what the deal was. He told me he basically "calmed down" and isn't as excited to be with me as he used to. I suggested a few weeks of a "break" but he said he didn't want that and he wanted to stay together. Lately we have been hanging out half as much as we usually do, but he swears he still likes me and cares about me a lot. I just don't get how he could be obsessive one day and then not the next day.Is it normal for guys to get like this? I'm afraid to lose him :/
I hate to say it-but yeh this is normal.
After the happy clappy stage of 3-4 months shall we say, you arrive at the settle down stage.
This is where the majority of people break up.
It's just because the original excitement and anticipation has gone.
It sounds like he's a little bit insecure to me. Like he's too uncomfortable to be on his own, and so is staying with you just because it looks good. Face it, if this guy really was in the realtionship for the right reasons he'd want to do anything to make it work out.
Whatever you do, staying this way will lead to breaking up eventually. If you suggested a break up for a few weeks and he said no, break up with him. Now, no ones saying its forever, but absense makes the heart grow fonder.
If you want to work it out, the you need to put excitment back in the relationship. Suprise him with sweet gifts and dates you've never done before. Also sometimes its best if you do your own thing during the day and like see each other in the evening, so that you have things to talk about and when you do see each other it'll seem exclusive and special.
Whatever you do, make it a prority to speak to him about this. At least if you try to liven things up then at least you can say that you were too good for him as its not you're fault he can't be bothered.
Good luck :)
[view]
17/M
Country: India
Just a little introduction about me. I am person who likes to improve upon himself. I like to gain knowledge, apply it and make myself better. I want to explore and know new things. I want to be famous, be in the spotlight. But hell knows, I don't... Where the hell I adopted this habit of keeping quiet in social gatherings even when I have so much to say, so much to ask... I like making friends. I enjoy becoming extrovert. But, I don't know why do I just keep quiet. I am not afraid to speak. I like to talk a lot. Perhaps I have the HABIT of keeping quiet. I want to get rid of this idiotic habit. It makes me feel embarassed, frustated, idiotic and alone at the same moment. Even if I know the answer to a question, I keep quiet just like that. Perhaps that is too much of procrastination. That makes others think that I don't know anything or that I don't have brains. But I have more brains than them. I know that I have a low swlf-esteem. I know a lot about mself and exactly what problems I have. But how to tackle them ?
See here itself. I wrote so much. Since it was writing, it was less. Had it been speaking.... :D
I'm shy also, but I'm slowly overcoming this.
What you need to do is go out of your comfort zone (don't panic though)
What helped for me was, insisting that I'd talk in school assemblys, and insisting that I gave someone a class birthday card. You set yourself tiny challenges and when you overcome them it gives you a little confidence.
In class I have the odd off day, and sit there silently, whilst others litterally speak their minds un neccisarily. What you need to do is, when you put your hand up or when you're asked a question, make the answer as advanced and thoughtful as possible. Speak slowly to sound confident, and people will respect your intelligence.
Its hard when you're shy to try and get people to understand that you're not being a snob-thats jsut how you are.
Also what i do, and I know it sounds crazy, but I go to class having little comebacks ready and waiting in my head. So if someone did say anything, I'd reply something like 'Ah well can't impress everyone'. Luckily, i havn't used these yet, but it'll give you the confidence to speak your mind and be able to stand up for yourself which will gain the respect of classmates. Good luck anyway :)
[view]
Sorry for the length in advance. I'm 16/f and over the past few months I keep catching my ex boyfriend looking at me. when we walk past eachother we always have awkward eye contact and when I walk into a class he always looks up really quickly, realises its me then and realises I'm looking at him, then looks down again. We did have a 'thing' going on some months before but he stopped talking to me. He always used to text me first and when he stopped I didn't text him because I thought he'd gone off me. Then a few months later he tweeted that he hates texting girls first because it makes him feel unwanted and I wondered if that's what he felt with me or whether he did actually want to stop talking to me? If he doesnt want to talk to me anymore, what is with all this eye contact!? I'm so confused!
Hey!
Do you know, three months ago, this was me. In fact, I think I did write a question like this on here! So I'll help you out...
Obviously, exes are still going to have feelings for each other. I still have awkward eye contact sessions with my ex in college!
You're confused-but he'll be more confused. Why? because he texted you first, so its as if you're not interested, yet he catches you looking at him.
I know how it is, you can't stop yourself sometimes, and 9 x out of ten he's looking right back at you. awkward.
So you need to decide what to do. Move on, or make contact. if you carry on like this he will make contact because guys don't like being confused and what to know exactly how it is. If you want to get back with him, smile every time you catch his eye.
If you don't, when your eyes meet-and try to make them not- roll your eyes or look totally busy and engaged in something else.
The truth is, only he knows why he's looking at you. And only you know deep down why you have the urge to look at him. Adress why this may be, and then plan you're next move from their.
Good luck :)
[view]
my boyfriends best friend tries to come close to me..he said he likes me, but he behaves very innocent in front of my boyfriend....... my boyfriend trusts him a lot. If I tell my boyfriend I think it would start drama between them & maybe me. Should I tell him?
Hey.
Why not speak to your bf's friend about how you feel first?
If he was anything of a friend to your boyfriend he'd be a friend to you as well. And if he's a friend to you then he'd know when he had taken things too far. Pull him to a side and talk to this guy, being polite. Just ensure you're firm but friendly and fair.
And if it doesn't stop, letyour boyfriend know. Who cares if it causes arguments between them both? You gave his friend a chance, and so did your boyfriend.
All you can do is try and find out-good luck :)
[view]
Thank you so very much. I so appreciate your kindness, caring and compassion. I also thank you and appreciate your replies. I really do not want to put any negative energy out into this world, but I do not have much positive energy to give at this time. I do not see myself calling any suicide/help places, at all! There is no answers, only dead ends. I have attempted suicide more than once and failed, as I do at all i try to do. Nothing has ever made more sense than ending a non existent pathetic waste of space. I so desperately must end all the sadness, lack of money wasted for me to exist, and stress that i cause my parents=end asap! Hope does not exist, like myself, nor do I have any obligation to continue existing. I only hurt, the only people, that love me = the same people that gave me this existence that I never deserved. I serve NO purpose, help no one & cant even help myself = does not get much worse. I wish I could trade places with, or donate organs, blood, ANYTHING - to the millions of people that deserve to live, want to live, or may even need anything I may have that could give them life and keep them here for all the people that do not want to lose them. How can I help any others that would do anything for another day, while ending not just my misery, but the embarassment, shame and responsibility that my parents took on, to support me even though they cannot. I cant do this to them another day. Lets save others that want to live life and let the ones that dont live, but still waste space in this over crowded planet. Please help. Maybe a psysician-assisted suicide can be performed, AFTER donating organs, blood, plasm, bones, eyes, and anything to provide others hoping to live as long as they can. Please advise. Any laws about is in Florida? Similar to the one in Washington state, the right to die with dignity.
1 This constant fear and feeling of wasting air, food, water, time, etc. is hell and why this is the perfect solution for all involved. I make myself amd my poor parents and sick, disgusted, disappointed, embarassed, confused, ashamed with no answers or solutions to myself, already dead, just existing only because i have to.
Hi, I am studying psychology at the moment.
You need to see a doctor. Discuss something called ECT with them. This helps cure severe depression. I'm not a doctor, but its sounds like you're depressed.
I agree. There is alot of people in the world who deserve to have a better, improved life, perhaps indeed waiting for organ donation. But that it them, and they are not you.
Wouldn't it be great, seeing as you're in such a fortunate position, to help them but not dyeing? Because if you get your organs donated, which relatives have to agree to anyway, you'll only help a maxiumum of like 20 people.
But what if you, with you're health, could set up a campaign not encourage more people to donate? With your life, you would be giving more life to others than you would be if you were to die.
Take care, and think about it :)
[view]
sir,actually i was in depression before some months
and in that mental sate doctar gave me such medicine so that every one can hear my thoughs whatever is going on in my mind after that i m getting frustated because of this problem anyone who see me or hear my thoughts spit it seems that such as he is spitting on me.because of this problem i m tending towards to commit sucide.i have tried 4 times to commit sucide but i was saved.is my problem can be solved?give me advice that what should do i?
Hi,
Now I am studying Psychology at the moment so this is what I think.
It sounds like you're depressed. So, you need to see a doctor. Ask to talk about the anti depressive Prozac. This drug increases seretonin levels in you're brain, and can help relive some symptoms of depression.
There is, in extreme cases ECT, which is electrive convulsive therapy, and involves using electric shocks in the brain to increase seretonin levels.
I AM NOT A DOCTOR, but talk to a doctor about the above options. Good luck :)
[view]
I'm not really skinny, I promise, its just everyday I have the same thing over and over and I will not change my routine. I think I tend to eat less because I'm a busy person, eating feels like a chore so I eat things that are really quick to eat. This is my diet:
Breakfast- 1yogurt + drink
Lunch- 1apple + water
Dinner- homecooked meal with the family
Is this a healthy diet?
Hi. I'm studying psychology A level at the moment. I'm no doctor, but I think this is healthy.
Anorexia is a psychological disorder. Without going into details, it's you're brain taking control of a situation by not eating.
Basically, it takes a while for an anorexic to realize they are.
Now you've spotted you're 'not really skinny'. An anorexic thinks they're fat or thinks other people think that they're fat. So they loose the weight because they feel insecure and, according to Freud, 'regress' back to when they were a child, and develop childlike qualities so they're problems go away.
So you see, anorexia is a much more psycological problem than not just eating enough. If you've got an average BMI and you feel healthy and have healthy hair/complexion they yeh its fine.
Take care now :)
[view]
So i met this boy and he was really into me and talking to me and everything was good. We lasted like a week texting each other and personally i didn't feel like we really connected he was always the one to text me first but he didn't asked me any questions or anything it was really confusing. But that just let me know that he was into me but shy when we talked i dont knoww. Suddenly he stopped talking to me with no reason. After a week its like he got over it. And i know he finds me pretty im sure about that but i dont know how to get his interest back at me.
Hey,
You could text him? Just think of an excuse first and then go for it.
To be honest, he's probably not showing interest because he thinks you're not interested in him.
Although it is good to take a backseat in these things (e.g let him text first) because then you don't come across as needy and as a guy he'll find that attractive.
But then if you don't initiate the text first at all he'll stop texting you as he's sees it pointeless and a waste of effort if you're not into him. Just send him a text, but then hold back again.
Good luck-it worked for me :)
[view]
My boyfriend was dating this girl for a year and a half and they were broken up for about a month but still talking and saying they were going to fix things WHILE he was seeing me during that month, he was also having sex with a old lover of his while seeing me.. i found out after we were together that he was sleeping with the one girl and telling her that he loves her same with his ex girlfriend. we have been together for four months and live togehter ( weird i know) but it happened, when ever i bring any of them up he avoids it and tells me not to talk about them.. does he actually love me and is he over them? what are some ways to find out if he is over them completely? help please
Oh dear. It sounds like he's not over them and what is worse-you're the person that could be driving you guys apart.
Number one rule: don't talk about his exes or even make him think about them! It looks like you're jelous and he may think you're subtly trying to suggest him to go back to her.
Just forget the past. Whats done is done. Unless he's unfaithful try to move on. Lifes too short. Instead of probing about his exes which will drive him away (in my personal experience) why not remind him why he is with you?
Play hard to get occasionaly, be flirty, prove to him you're an independant, strong kinda girl who doesn't hold grudges about any prevoius relationship he's had. By doing this, he's sure to be over them.
Also, its in a girls instinct just to know when a guy isn't happy in a relationship-ITS OBVIOUS. But if this point comes, try to work it out between you first. Otherwise you'll feel rubbish because typically in this case guys move on to a rebound relationship. And that breaks any girls heart.
Good luck :)
[view]
My boyfriend and I just broke up and we loved each other alot like it was different and i just heard today for like 4 people that he was flirting with his ex last night!!! I started crying and i dont want to seem like a baby but i thought what we had was special and it hurts that he can be over me so quick. He told me that if we ever broke up he would never be able to date or flirt with another girl because he would miss me so much GOD HE IS A JERK and to be honest i want him back more than anything in the world but i am not telling him or anyone cuz i dont want to seem desperate. So what should I do?
Hey!
This happened to me to :)
My ex got back with his ex the day after splitting up with me.
Just think about this. He must've been talking/texting/communicating with her whilst you were still together. So in a sense he kinda cheated. He may not what the hassle of going over the grief of loosing you, so he may get into a rebound relationship, instead of having to face up to his feelings.
The thing is, rebound relationships never last.
You want him back because its as if you can't have him, so thats what makes you want him-follow?
If I were you I'd try to move on, or act like you've moved on.
This guy sounds like a player, so don't play his game and be the doormat here. Stand up for yourself and move on. Not only is this attractive to other prospective boyfriends, he'll realise what an idiot he's been. If you ignore him he'll be sure to get in contact with you again, because he'll start to want you back.
But tbh if you don't want to be a doormat I'd say no-exes are exes for a reason :)
[view]
|
