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I am too shy.
17/M
Country: India
Just a little introduction about me. I am person who likes to improve upon himself. I like to gain knowledge, apply it and make myself better. I want to explore and know new things. I want to be famous, be in the spotlight. But hell knows, I don't... Where the hell I adopted this habit of keeping quiet in social gatherings even when I have so much to say, so much to ask... I like making friends. I enjoy becoming extrovert. But, I don't know why do I just keep quiet. I am not afraid to speak. I like to talk a lot. Perhaps I have the HABIT of keeping quiet. I want to get rid of this idiotic habit. It makes me feel embarassed, frustated, idiotic and alone at the same moment. Even if I know the answer to a question, I keep quiet just like that. Perhaps that is too much of procrastination. That makes others think that I don't know anything or that I don't have brains. But I have more brains than them. I know that I have a low swlf-esteem. I know a lot about mself and exactly what problems I have. But how to tackle them ?
See here itself. I wrote so much. Since it was writing, it was less. Had it been speaking.... :D
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I'm shy also, but I'm slowly overcoming this.
What you need to do is go out of your comfort zone (don't panic though)
What helped for me was, insisting that I'd talk in school assemblys, and insisting that I gave someone a class birthday card. You set yourself tiny challenges and when you overcome them it gives you a little confidence.
In class I have the odd off day, and sit there silently, whilst others litterally speak their minds un neccisarily. What you need to do is, when you put your hand up or when you're asked a question, make the answer as advanced and thoughtful as possible. Speak slowly to sound confident, and people will respect your intelligence.
Its hard when you're shy to try and get people to understand that you're not being a snob-thats jsut how you are.
Also what i do, and I know it sounds crazy, but I go to class having little comebacks ready and waiting in my head. So if someone did say anything, I'd reply something like 'Ah well can't impress everyone'. Luckily, i havn't used these yet, but it'll give you the confidence to speak your mind and be able to stand up for yourself which will gain the respect of classmates. Good luck anyway :)
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Dont panic. This is nothing serious. Its just the way you are. Unnecessary speaking is useless so you have a gift :) However stage fear or fear of speaking in the public is not rare lot of people face that. It is your personality that shapes up over the years and your childhood does have a huge role to play. I had stage fear years back. I was good too. And I made sense when I spoke, I convinced people with my talks but again it was a small group I could speak to. I did ask the same quetion and I was told I needed to give more public talks and I would grow out of it soon. And that is what happened. You will develop the confidence soon when you convince yourself you can do it. So.. 'Say what you need to say' ;)
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It sounds like you've got some social anxiety there. You might want to talk to someone about that, like a doctor. Your low self-esteem probably contributes to it. You might feel like people will ridicule or judge you on what you say and you may fear being rejected (like people not listening to what you have to say).
You must have at least a few good friends, since you like making friends and being an extrovert. Maybe you could focus on those for now? Have some one-on-one conversations and slowly build up. Talk more with one person and when you feel like you're comfortable being more vocal with one person, try 2 people.
Do find someone who can help with your social anxiety, perhaps a psychologist or a counselor or even a parent to help calm you down about your voice being stuck inside.
If you can talk a lot but not in social gatherings, it sounds a lot like social anxiety, really. I hope that this helps. (:
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