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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
People it involves:
Me-teesha
my mom-tonja
my dad-daven sr.
my great uncle-Uncle Tony
my dad's brother-uncle tony
my dad's cousin-keith
Problem:
Uncle Tony invited me to stay at his house for the weekend. He said he wants to take me shopping. Of course I want to go. (not just for that reason)
My dad is an alcoholic. Everyone knows it, but they just don't know how he acts when he's drunk. Only my family does. (meaning me and my mom). Well, my mom finally decided to tell some of my dad's family. Well, my uncle tony. He told the rest of the family! That's why my Uncle Tony came down. I think the only reason he wants me to go spend the weekend at his house is to question me about my dad.
Well, now my dad is saying that the only reason my Uncle Tony wants me to go is just so everyone can ask questions about my dad's drinking. I'm starting to think that's true. I want to go, but I'm not sure if I want should. I believe that if my dad didn't have anything to have, he would have no problem with me going. So I think I should go.
Should I stay home or go visit my family with the risk of having them ask me questions about him?
The Answer
Go ahead and visit them. More then just wanting to pump you for information, they probably want to support you and make sure you are okay. Remember, this is old news for you, but for them it's brand new and your happiness and safety is probably one of their main concerns.
You can tell them as much or as little as you like. If they ask a question you don't want to answer you can simply say so, or in some cases, tell them to ask your mom or dad for the answer. It might help you if you decide in advance what you will or will not tell them. Play it out in your head the question s they might ask. That way you'll feel more secure, and you will only tell what you *want* to tell, if anything at all.
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The Question
okay well lately i've been really worried and i need to know if this is something i should be worried about.
me and my boyfriend were fooling around and i gave him a handjob and he fingered me. i don't think he had any cum on his fingers, and he told me he didn't. i don't remember if he touched himself at all turning this.
the only 'side effects' i've had have been lower body cramps and i felt dizzy today. but, i'm also due for my period next week.
i've been looking for the answer to this on the internet, but i can't find a direct answer.
all i know is it's unlikely, but possible.
from what i know, my boyfriend had no cum/precum on his fingers, i just get very paranoid really easily.
please answer me the best you can.
The Answer
You are probably not pregnant. Like you said, it's very unlikely to get pregnant from sperm on someone's fingers, possible, but terribly unlikely.
What you should realize from this is this:
You aren't ready to be fooling around sexually.
I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings or if you disagree, but you are not.
Sex is risky. It always is. Even if you use the pill, a condom, top-secret government spermicidal lotion and an Amazonian anti-fertility voodoo doll. There is ALWAYS a risk.
If you can't accept that risk maturely and still live your life without extreme stress and misery, then you probably shouldn't be having any sort of sex. What that stress means is that the risk for you is just too great. It just isn't worth it.
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The Question
15/F
I haven't started my period yet. But I have so much discharge it comes out in clumps sometimes.
Recently, it smells really weird and is a yellowish color. It's not like it normally is. So is something wrong??
I can smell my discharge while I'm using the bathroom. It reeks. And is discolored like I said.
I also have bumpy, itchy things near that area. They kind of hurt but not in a really painful way all the time.
Like after I go to the bathroom I have to wipe and it hurts. (I know kind of gross)
I'm not sexually active...
**any advice on what else to use instead of pantiliners because my discharge is so thick and I have so much that it leaks through a little.
PLEASE HELP!!!!
The Answer
See a doctor.
That isn't normal and it sounds like it isn't going away. Don't put anything on the irratation, just make yourself a doctors appointment ASAP.
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The Question
Ok, according to my midwife, I am in labor. But my cervix wont open, and my water wont break. I am in so much pain that I have been in tears for 4 days. I want to find a way to self induce. Some people have said have sex, but since she has dropped I am scared that will hurt her. Someone else said castor oil but I dont know where to get that....has anyone got any ideas on how to make her break my water? And please dont say "She will come when she is ready"
The Answer
Edit in response to feedback: Crazy idea, but if your midwife and/or doctor do not want to induce labor yet, maybe you SHOULDN'T try to do it yourself?
Have you asked your midwife? Your doctor? A nurse? Anyone who is actually QUALIFIED to help you? If you have, follow their recommendations, not any information you find online.
If you, or you child, are in such pain or in such danger, it's high time to get professional and personal help.
Please, call someone who can come and assist you in person, even if that means calling an ambulance. This is not the sort of thing you want to leave to chance.
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The Question
I want to know if a yeast infection is really dangerous and if it can kill you. I have had a yeast infection for the last seven years.
It goes away w/ my menstrual and then comes back. I do not take birth control and I am not a diabetic. I have tried all the creams and diflucan also. Nothing worked. And right now I don't have med. insurance. Will the local hospital treat me? I don't want the infection to spread to my intestines. I am 28 years old and I am afraid of this.
The Answer
You need to go see your doctor. You would probably be better to go to a family doctor or GP then to an emergency room.
Long Term yeast infections will probably not kill you, but it will continue to weaken you and might be a symptom of several illnesses like fibromyalgia. Yeast can spread not only to your intestines but your lungs and sinuses as well.
It's good that looked into diflucan, but if that didn't work for you there is still more a doctor can help you. Yeast infections are a response to a weakened immune system. If you have some sort of illness causing it, you want to make sure your doctor can identify that, if not they can at least recommend some life style changes that might help.
There are also supplements that can at least help you *feel* better in the short term. Molybdenum is a mineral that can help you feel more alert (yeast infections can cause drowsiness and give you trouble focusing) and it supposedly can help with the itching too.
I've heard of some diets as well that supposedly can help, but all of that sort of things are things you could ask a doctor.
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The Question
there are no signs that my dad is cheating on my mom i just have this wierd feeling.I mean he has been working alot lately till like 6:00 everynightt.and when he comes home he doesnt really care about us, he just wants to sleep.And he plays poker or tennis like 3 times a week.i have tried talking to mom but she doesnt want to hear it.and i cant like drive bc im only 13.hellp
The Answer
Adultery is a pretty serious accusation and if all you have is a 'wierd feeling' I'm not surprised your mother doesn't want to hear it.
Your weird feeling and your father's behavior could easily be explained by him having a very difficult time at work right now, or a disagreement with your mother, or for all you know maybe it's your mother who is behaving inappropriately.
The point is: There are a lot of stressful, unpleasant things that could be going on in your adult parents lives that they won’t tell you about and could account for you feeling uneasy.
The better way to approach this, rather then making baseless accusations, is to ASK what is wrong. Tell your parents, together or separately, that the family feels tense and unhappy and that you want to know why.
Do yourself a favor though, and stop jumping to conclusion, especially deeply hurtful ones. That won't help the situation at all, even if adultry is what is happening.
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The Question
So me and my boyfriend had sex about last monday. It was protected at first but the condom broke and he took it off and then we had unprotected sex. He pulled out and we stopped having sex. He swears to god he didn't cum inside me. He said he's the kinda guy where he cum's all at once and he didn't do that inside of me. So we just begin to touch eachother and ne then cum's all at once.
It's been a week or so and I should've started my period by now. I have been getting signs that I normaly get before I start my period but, I have been so stressed and worried lately because my periods a couple days late.
I am getting brown discharge and sometimes it's clearish light brown. I have no symptoms of being pregnant.I've gone to a lot of sites and looked at the symptoms and I have none of them but I'm still stressed and freaking out about it.
The Answer
I am not aware of any sort of guy who 'cums all at once'. Pre-cum is a fact of life as simple as saliva or blood, some guys have less, but they should never have none at all unless they are castrated. So ANYTIME that you have unprotected sex, even if he didn't ejaculate inside you, you could become pregnant.
If you are feeling like period is coming, and you are getting brown discharge, it is probably coming and was just late for some random reason, like stress.
But take this experience as a lesson! Unless you can live with the stress and misery of doubt USE PROTECTION! Always! Sex is risky, but it's just plain stupid not to reduce the risk as much as you can.
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The Question
my friend. grr. gets on my last freaking nerve. she makes up FAKE screenames, and IMs these ugly guys, that are like total losers. like they smoke do drugs. and just total social outcasts. so, she was 'pretending' to set up him and her 'friend' who is 'her' and then im like, well let me be this fake girl, so she doesn't talk just like you. because, i was just thinking, yano i dont want this kid to find out, and her reputation gets messed up. and then shes like nooo, i wanna talk to him. and im like but you already do? and i dont know.
dont you think thats honestly patheic? that she does this stuff? i mean, and then she never lets me say anything to any of them. like she has like 10 screenames, of all of her fake friends. and stuff.
what should i do?
im kinda mad at her right now.
The Answer
Are you annoyed because she is playing a silly game online or because she wont let you join?
Let it go. It really is pretty immature and uninteresting but it's her thing, there is really no reason for you to stick your nose in it unless you think she is in danger. You've told her what you think of it, so now just don't talk to her about her online antics and you'll be just fine.
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The Question
my friend told me that if you think your pregnat you can take the morning after pill. and that should give you an abortion. is that true ? then she told me aftre i take the morining aftre pill i should take another prenacy test four days after. would this work.
The Answer
No. The morning after pill does not work like that.
Plan B (which is the name brand version of the morning after pill) is two pills that can be taken with in 72 hours of having unprotected sex, or if your protection fails (i.e. the condom breaks).
It works by preventing the sperm from fertilizing the egg AND by preventing a fertilized egg from attaching to the wall of the uterus. If a fertilized egg fails to attach to the uterus wall, it can't develop any further and vagina clears it out.
Although you can take the morning after pill later then 72 hours afterwards, it becomes less effective as time goes by and the medical tests so far suggest that it cannot terminate a pregnancy if the fertilized egg has already connected to the uterine walls.
HOWEVER, there is an 'abortion pill' that can be taken within the first 8 weeks of pregnancy. That pill MUST be prescribed by a doctor and you normally must take at least one, or sometimes both of the doses, in front of a doctor or nurse. After eight weeks you are normally looking at some form of surgical abortion.
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The Question
Me and my boyfriend hardly get to spend anytime together so we had ALOT of sex whenever he came over. I'm on Yaz birth control and he used Trojan condoms *sometimes*. This isn't a pregnancy question because I've already taken a pregnancy test and it came back negative. Anyhow, I noticed yesterday morning that I was red and irritated down there and then yesterday evening it started itching (like a yeast infection). I've been using Premarin (keeps it from itching). And it doesn't seem to be helping. Sure it stops the itch but it's not helping it go away.
Alot of times whenever we would have sex I would be really dry and it would hurt (because we didn't have any lubricant). So I was wondering if that could be part of the problem but it's itching from my cl*t to the bottom. So I don't really know what it could be other than a yeast infection. Any ideas or suggestions? It would be GREATLY appreciated.
The Answer
It certainly could be a yeast infection. If you've had one before it might not be a bad idea to pick up a cure at the drugstore. It likely wont hurt you any. If you have never had a yeast infection you MUST see a doctor.
The only other thing it might be is cuts or tears on your labia. If you aren't using enough enough lubracation, friction can cause tears and cuts down there that itch like hell. Take a handheld mirror and a good look at yourself. If you are cut you'll likely be able to see it and the itching should be focused around the area of the cut.
In the future, tell a guy to cool it untill there is enough lubrication! It's never comfortable or enjoyable to have sex without it.
Either way, a trip to the doctor is probably in order. If you do have cuts, you don't really want to be applying creams without a doctors opinion and if you have a yeast infection, they can test for that very easily.
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The Question
i dyed my hair yesterday and it came out too dark. its really dark brown, almost black. it's ok, just not what i was looking for. are there any ways i can lighten it? if i bought another thing of dye, i'd probably have to pay for it again, & i'm broke. plus my mom would have to do it and she's never dyed hair before so i'm sure she'd mess it up. i don't wanna go to a salon because it's so expensivee, & my mom won't pay. is there anything i can do to make it a little lighter??
thanks
btw, i used loreal natural match if that helps
The Answer
Wash your hair in nice piping hot water as often as it can bare it. That will lightning it as quickly as anything will, short of re-dying it.
(You should also always wait at least three weeks between dye jobs or else you run the risk of the chemicals reacting oddly with one another and producing a totally different colour then you intended.)
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The Question
I'm 15 almost 16 and i just recently graduated early with honors, and got a few full ride scholorships ( I always did summer school to get ahead and online schooling). But the problem is Laila and Kennedy, my 3 month old twins. I love them and they are my pride and joy. But i'm going off to college and i'm going to be living with my older sister in her dorm because we are attending the same school, and i can't take Laila and Kennedy. My boyfriend doesn't want to take in the children because he is going to be a senior this year and just wants to PARTY. My mom loves the children, but i'm afraid she is going to convince my boyfriend to give up all custody and have the children put up for adoption behind my back, because she is like that. She loves them but she doesn't them to screw up my life. And they aren't. They are just a big speed bump.
Any advice on what i can do with Laila and Kennedy?
The Answer
You are choosing to go to university, which is a great decision and just fine.
But frankly you don't have the right to expect your mother to raise your children. You have chosen to follow a path that prevents you from raising them %100 percent and your boyfriend is a damn asshole for choosing to party over his children and supporting their mother.
So you need to have a good long conversation with your mother. If you want to keep your children and go to school, you need her on board and you need to support HER as she raises YOUR children. Ask her what she needs. You can't simply assume she is going to take responsibility for your children while you are off getting an education. She might be your mother and she probably loves you, but she doesn't owe you that!
She probably can't get them adopted without your consent, but if that is the sort of thing she wants to do then you DEFINATELY need to talk to her. You really don't want to leave your children in an environment where they are unwanted. It would be far better for everyone to find a place where they are wanted.
So talk to you mother and LISTEN to her. Maybe start this way "Mom, what do you want and what do you need for yourself and your grandkids?" Give her a chance to talk and be open to her ideas.
You can't always get what you want. Be prepared to make sacrifices and tough decisions.
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The Question
During the course of my college dwelling, I took a few courses in psychology, there are two subjects that intrest me psychology and english.
Personally I can see my self fitting the same portrait of a schizoid, just by the characteristics and appearance they put down.
"A person with schizoid personality disorder:
Does not desire nor enjoy close relationships, even with family members
Avoids social activities that involve significant interpersonal contact
Appears aloof and detached People with schizoid personality disorder are loners and show little interest in developing close relationships.
"
I'm serious though its a hell of a thought go look at this site and read a little you will feel like one of this disorders describes you.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/mentalhealthandbehavior.html
The Answer
The reason, in a nut shell, that that personality disorders can seem to fit anyone, is because it's all about severity and length of suffering.
Almost every teenager alive will go through a depressed stage and call themselves ‘depressed’, when in fact you are not considered depressed by medical standards until many symptoms have persisted in a serious way for over six months. In short term cases of extreme stress or unhappiness, depression is a perfectly natural response.
Severity is an issue with almost any mental illness or mood disorder. Many people are stressed out or dislike speaking to strangers, but at what point do you call it an anxiety disorder? Many people prefer not to have many, or any, intimate bonds in their lives, does that make them psychotic?
Diagnosis is also a subjective science. Mental illness isn’t like bacteria that can you track down and see with you eyes, doctors and physiatrists have to deduce a diagnosis from imperfect observation. There is a huge margin for human error, both in the patient’s explanation and in the doctor’s interpretation. Add to that the incentives some doctors receive for prescribing medications and many patient’s (or the patients loved ones) are desperate to hear a label for what is wrong with them and in some cases, even know which label they want, and will just go to different doctors until they get it.
I had some issues as a child and teen and the thing I really took away from it about diagnosis is this: Treatment is far more important then labels and you CANNOT treat yourself. You shouldn’t try and diagnose yourself, because that is nonsense and frankly I can’t think of much worse then those mental health online questionnaires or tests. The best doctor I ever had spent very little time testing and asking questions to help classify my issues, but focused on the problems I was having and how they could be addressed. That is what healing is and that is what is truly important, everything else is just the details.
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The Question
i was talking to this guy online who i've had sex with before. we were talking about doing it again and he mentioned me giving him head, and he said he wanted to use a condom. I told him i wouldnt want to because i am a little bit allergic to latex and i just think that would be really nasty. so i asked him why he wanted a condom while getting head anyways and he said he just did. i got kind of suspicious and asked if he had an std or something and he said no but i kind of dont beleive him. he kind of seems like the type who would lie so i would have sex with him again,but do you think that seems kind of suspicious or am i overreacting?
The Answer
I don't think it's really fair to assume a guy who *wants* to use a condom must have an STD. Some guys are actually responsible about thier sexual health.
However, if you don't trust him on this, you certainly don't trust him enough to fool around with him.
Lastly, you are aware that you can purchase polyurethane or lambskin condoms right? Many drugs stores will carry them and they are certainly worth looking into if you have a problem with latex.
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The Question
Is it true that if you keep your bra on at night and it's a padded one they won't grow much because you didn't give them room to grow??
The Answer
No, that isn't true.
It's also NOT true that wearing a bar at night will prevent sagging. Marilyn Monroe famously said she wore one for that reason, which is why it gets so much play, but medical studies have discredited it entirely. The only possitive effect bras have on the the look and firmness of your breasts is during strenous activity like running or sports. It's a good idea to have a good bra on then if you want to keep them perky and sitting well.
All that wearing a bra at night does it restrict your circulation and can cause breathing problems or skin irritation. It's not terrible for you (unless you have trouble breathing at night) but it's best to have at least some bra-free time during every day.
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The Question
15/f. Pardon me if this is long. But it's ruining my life.
Last year I was a really lonely and pathetic teenager. At 14, I had no friends I could trust, and all that revolved around my mind, was school and homework. And then I stumbled upon an online forum. There, I made lots of friends and became so much happier. I had gotten more social through the ways of the internet chatroom. The people there all shared my interests and were so nice and sweet to me. It was almost like a dream. I actually thought I was fitting in somewhere. Ever since, to this day, it has become an addiction. Particularly because of one guy. Let's call him "Vibrator". Vibrator is 3 and a half years older than me. That makes him...(well, you do the math, if I'm 15 1/2) And he lives in North America (as I do) He shares my music interests, hobbies and other things such as this. When he talks to me (and we have been talking online on MSN and AIM for a course of one year) he is always so sweet and sugary and amazing. I feel like I've known Vibrator forever. He always compliments me and tells me I'm pretty. It makes me feel amazing. But, I'm a bit paranoid, because I've only seen like ONE picture of him! And I'm always sending him pictures o.o And everything we discuss....personally..is always about me. So I feel as if...he wants to know about me, but never tells me about himself. Is he hiding something? I don't know what to do ! I'm so emotionally attached to him. And he flirts with other girls too, and then tells me later that he has no "sexual" feelings for me. He tells me that we should meet and he tells me he wants to. He manipulates and plays with my feelings. He really is ruining my life. I hate him, but at the same time I like him a lot. I don't know what to do. I really want to meet him. But I'm so unsure. It's becoming an obsession talking to him. And he gets mad very frequently...when he does, I cry. He upsets me a lot. But then he apologizes and plays with me...like that. I cry over him. I can't tell this to anyone. Not even my best friend, because I'm too embarrassed to admit that I like someone online.
What should I do? Please. :( Any piece of advice would be helpful.
The Answer
Your instincts have already told you everything you need to know.
The anger, the focus on you, the lack of photos, the flirting with others, the blatant manipulation all come together to paint a picture of a guy who enjoys controlling people. Maybe he isn't hiding anything, but let’s look at what he is showing: He's a lousy person.
You aren't the first girl in the world to get attached to a lousy person. Now you need to choose to continue allowing yourself to be used and manipulated or if you break free.
If you want to break free, don't do it stages. Tell him you aren't interested in speaking to him anymore and then don't speak to him. If you must return any messages to him, take your sweet time about it and wait a few days. Do your best not to reply though. He'll try to drag it out and say things to get a rise out of you. Don't let him get to you. Ignore him, and will eventually go away.
If he doesn't go away give your parents a heads up that there is a guy online who is bothering you. Yes, they might over react a bit, but they will also help keep you safe.
You'll cry for a while and you'll feel crappy. You'll want to talk him and you want to make excuses for his bad behavior. It's okay to be sad and it's okay to wish for better, but don't give in! You've learned some valuable skills online about how to get along with people and a bit of self confidence. How to get away from of some one bad is an important lesson too.
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The Question
Could anyone tell me if you will be able to see the stage at a concert at madison square garden from floor section ten row k? Please answer only if you've been to the garden and have sat or know about the floor for a concert.
thanks!
Also does anyone know where I can see a picture of the inside of the garden just to get an idea of where my seats are. Because the seating chart doesnt give a great view.
The Answer
Seating at the Madison Square Garden changes configurations and price categories depending on which show you are attending.
That is why a photo of the inside of the gardens will be basically useless to you. The seats, and stage or arena, might not even be in the same place!
You can check out this website here to see some of the different arrangements for some of the different types of shows:
www.teamonetickets.com/seating-chart/madison-square-garden-map.html
Having said that, section 10 is nearly always on the ground floor and part of one of the most expensive price categories and that means you can see fine from it. How do I know? Because I work in ticketing and if you can't see fine from one of the most expensive seats you make that seat cheaper! Because people complain and then you have to move them and listen to them threaten you and be jerks about it. You don’t sell bad seats at a high price. It only makes your life harder.
Better then believing me, call the box office, rather then ordering online, and ask them what they think of the seats. Most of them will be totally honest and up front about it.
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The Question
i'm 17/f. if i have a boyfriend, and we've been together for a long time, is it cheating if i hold hands with another boy?
The Answer
Ask your boyfriend.
I wouldn't think it was cheating unless you were actively trying to persue or flirt with the guy you were holding hands with but best to ask your boyfriend what he thinks about it. It's really only his and yours opinions that matter.
If you feel it isn't right, maybe it isn't, and you could simply stop without even bothering to ask you boyfriend, but if you think it's just fine, run by your boyfriend just so you guys can be clear with eachother.
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The Question
This probably isn't in the right category...
I'm looking for a particular My Little Pony (Fizzy). She is green and has dark green, pink and white hair with 3 little ice creams on her side.
I'm wondering if anyone knows where I could buy her from? I've looked on Ebay and Amazon, but can't find her there.
If you have any suggestions where I could get her from, it would be really great!
The Answer
Sighs. Fizzy, as you probably know, is a twinkle-eye pony made in 1985. That makes her a popular collector's pony, generation 1. She's popular, featured in the orginal tv series and first movie, and there weren't too many made of any of the twinkle-eyed so she is a bit tough to come by.
Um yeah, sorry. I collect these things...
BUT This is one other good site to keep you eyes on:
www.timelesstrinkets.com/MyLittlePony/My-Little-Pony-Contents.html
And here are some Fizzy's on Ebay.
cgi.ebay.com/My-Little-Pony-Fizzy-1986-Twinkle-Eyed-Pony_W0QQitemZ260132224420QQihZ016QQcategoryZ375QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem
cgi.ebay.com/Very-large-80s-My-Little-Pony-Collection-w-accessories_W0QQitemZ130136404243QQihZ003QQcategoryZ375QQcmdZViewItem
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The Question
Hi.
I've come across yalyta.com. It's a cheap designer clothing online store.
But, none of my friends have ever heard of it.
Has anyone had experience with them? Is it good or bad?
The Answer
When something looks too good to be true. It normally is.
This site is scam. I don't need to have ordered from them to say that. It is pretty obvious.
Google "Yalyta scam" if you want to hear others opinions.
Here is one of the biggest clues: They do not take Paypal or credit cards. Only wire transfers and western union. They give some lame excuse about paypal not being accessible in China, which is a flat out lie. They want to be able to take your money without a responsible third party like a credit card company or Paypal in the way. Western Union is a service and their policy is Buyer Beware. They provide no defense against such scams.
Never trust anyone online that doesnâ??t accept payments through a trusted third party such as Paypal, Netteller or common credit cards like Visa, MC and AM.
EDIT: Sorry. I don't shop for namebrands. I don't know of any other sites.
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