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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
20/F
I'm a university student living away from home, in the city where my school is. I rely on the bus for transportation to and from my school, which is about a half hour bus ride away, up an escarpment, so we're not talking a small hill.
Thing is, the transit workers have been voting on going on strike, and so far it looks like they are.
We're getting into our last round of midterms, and soon is exams!
All these people are doing is screwing over the working poor and the 25000 students who attend the two major post-secondary institutions in the city.
I'm a little worried. What do I do if they go on strike? I won't be able to afford a taxi every day, and nobody I know drives.
Any ideas? I'm sort of panicking as to what's going to happen if I can't get to school.
The Answer
Chill out.
The school will likely provide some sort of express shuttle. That tends to happen when the transit shuts down. If they haven't already made plans or called emergency committees, you should e-mail them, call them and generally harass the university about assisting the students with affordable transportation.
Or else save your pennies, book well in advance, share cabs or rent a car. Ask your parents for help or get a credit card to cover the taxi fares. There are lots of solutions. Yeah, they aren't great solutions, but they exist.
You have enough stress on your shoulders. Don't waste your time on this, just deal with it. You can't stop them from striking. Just think ahead and be prepared as best you can.
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The Question
My boyfriend is not coming home right after work but he calls me and stuff and recently he hasnt been coming over. I feel like my heart is tearing apart but I cant leave him because I love him to much. His attitude has changed a lot and its like i am alone. Someone help me i want to be loved. Do you think something is up? Oh by the way his ex is back in town.
The Answer
You know exactly what is up.
Ask him about it. He should be able to give you an acceptable and reasuring response. If not, at least you can begining the mourning process and the kicking him the hell out of your life process.
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The Question
I graduated college last semester, and am in the process of applying for grad school. Unfortunately, I am no longer living near my previous university, so I can't visit with my professors...
I need to ask for a few letters of recommendation, and wanted to know a couple of things beforehand:
- Is it considered rude to ask for a letter of recommendation through email? I am not in the area, so I can't simply visit during office hours.
- What sorts of things should I ask for, and provide to my professors, in order to get a good recommendation?
I guess all in all, what's the best way to go about getting a letter of recommendation, and once I decide to, how to do it? What to ask for?
Thanks!
The Answer
Call them. If possible at all, call them on the phone first. Follow up with an e-mail if you can't catch them, but remember the hierarchy of polite communication goes like this:
Speak in person.
Speak on the phone.
Speak in a handwritten letter.
Speak by e-mail/text.
(Same thing applies to break ups eh?)
So, when you want to make a formal request, always start at the topmost point you can.
Provide your professors whatever you can. After you've made contact e-mail them your résumé and entrance essay if applicable. By all means mention to them if there are particular things that you would like included in the letter of recommendation. I have had to write letters of recommendation myself and what I normally request is that the person write an outline for me, or a few key points they would like me to touch on, and I will continue it from there.
Best of Luck.
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The Question
Hi, My goal is to become an elementary school teacher (Junior Kindergarden to grade 4)! I live in Canada and in highschool I took applied courses meaning I can only go to college. To become a teacher I must end up in university. My plans are to go to seneca and then a transfer program to york or go to centennial and then a transfer program to rhyerson. My question is to anyone who knows about this route? Which college is better? Which campus is better? How hard is it to get into teachers college? How difficult is it to get into the transfer program and is there anything specific I need to do? I am taking a first aid course to improve my chances of getting in. I am going to apply to the ECE couse to be able to transfer. Also When I do transfer what do I transfer to in university?...Bachelor of Education?? I just do not want to apply to the wrong course or make a mistake because Im afraid of messing up something and my route to success becoming longer than it has to. If anyone has any advice or experince they can share with me please do. Thank you :)
The Answer
In order to become a teacher in Ontario you need either a three or four year long Bachelors degree from a University PLUS one year Bachelor of Education degree.
So you will end up applying three times to school in effect: Once to college. Once to university for your bachelors and once to university for your Bachelor of Education.
Picking a college that already has an existing relationship with a university (like Seneca does with York and Centennial does with Ryerson) is exactly the right idea, and should smooth the process a bit. Along the way, keep talking to the guidance counselors! They can tell you what you need.
While working on your first bachelors you will need to complete a certain number of courses that are considered 'teachables'. Once you are at university the school can advise you on what will be considered teachables.
Getting into a Bachelor of Education course is Ontario is EXTREEMLY competitive right now. It might not be so bad in four to five years where you are ready to apply for it, but right now, it's tough. What is really valuable to the application process is volunteer experience in the classroom or working with children.
TALK TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.
I can't stress that enough. GO. Make an appointment today. You need personal and professional advice. You are seriously lacking the information you need and they are the best resource out there.
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The Question
I met this nice Italian guy on Myspace,
and he wanted to know if we could talk
over MSN, so of course, I was like, sure.
He seemed really nice but then he wanted to
get on his webcam, so I said alright.
I've watched other people (non-sexually) on webcam.
Of course I had to tell him: don't strip or anything,
and he said he wouldn't, but then I guess he
changed his mind and took all his clothes off?
I felt weird saying "No" and he obviously wasn't
going to take "No" for an answer.
Oddly, I watched him but felt really nervous the whole time.
Not to sound like a dork or anything,
but I've never really seen a guy close up naked.
However, I was kind of disgusted with this naked guy.
I was also really scared, which is weird,
because most of my friends have actually
had sex with a guy and obviously they are
comfortable with even more than just looking at that!
Is this usual? Is it ok to feel a little freaked out by...male parts?
I am really boy crazy and I love guys, so why
do I freak out so much if I see a naked guy?
What if I'm a Lesbian?
And by the way, I won't be watching that
guy on webcam again so don't worry!
The Answer
You aren't a lesbian unless you are attracted to girl parts.
You probably just weren't ready for it.
What he did was abusive you know?
If some stranger ran up to you on the streets and tore off thier clothes, they would be arrested for indecent exposer and/or sexual assualt. So what he did ISN'T something you should be comfortable with it.
Relax. The plain truth is, in my opinion anyways, that men aren't all that nice to look at naked. There are other things they are good for, but just to look at, not so much.
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The Question
while browsing through few sites i found, in girls, aerola shapes differs in every girls....what does it indicate?
The Answer
That they are different people.
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The Question
Should you forgive an ex who cheated on you and then the next day, he says he wants to have a single life?
Should you still be okay with an ex even though his break up reason is just a lie, when in truth he started liking that one girl?
Should you forgive that type of person?
Should you still be friends with him and act like nothing happened?
Should I forgive that one girl (who i thought was a friend) but end up betraying me in my back and act like nothin happened?
Should I still hang out with them and show them that Im good and nothing is bothering me?
Should I act fake or just ignore them?
Sorry if its complicated, but its hard to explain everything.
The Answer
Yes, it would be good, and better for your own happiness if you are able to forgive them.
Forgiving them doesn't mean you talk to them, are friends with them, or even that you tell them they are forgiven. You are well within your rights to decide that such people aren't ones that you want anything to do with.
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The Question
I'm was wondering, is it better to brush or floss your teeth first? It probably doesn't matter, but I'm not sure...
Please only answer if you really know, not just a guess.
The Answer
Floss first.
It dislodges and weakens the build up between teeth and around the edges. Then brushing removes the what is left in your mouth.
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The Question
ok so i have a boyfriend problem. (he just turned 19 and i'm 15 going on 16 in february.)(that's not the problem though) so anyway, he tries to control me too much. we threaten to break up with each other but we never really do. He has a court date in 2 days for "trespassing" into my house. (It was behind my dad's back and my dad caught him in my room). i really don't want to break up with him, but he said that if i say no to him one more time about something, he'll smash my head into the sidewalk. I don't know what to do...i say no to him when he asks me to not talk to any of my guys friends, not to see my friends on the weekend, or to call him twice a day, everyday. i just don't want to and i think i should get my freedom...
The Answer
Dump him, over the phone, with a witness present.
He is violent. He made a threat. That is NOT OKAY in all caps.
You should get your freedom, and you shouldn't have to fear bodily harm. Please make sure to protect yourself. If he makes more threats, please make sure you have a witness and keep the police involved.
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The Question
My boyfriend always wears a condom and never ejaculates in me... so we're safe right? I know theres a chance but I mean if theres no sperm around me then how could I become pregnant?
The Answer
If there is NO sperm around your vaginal area, then no, you can't spontaneously become pregnant.
Just remember that no birth control is perfect. Make sure that you and your boyfriend know how to properly use condoms. It's also not a bad idea to have a Plan B. If you are old enough to get the Morning After pill, that is one option, but it never hurts to have a back up mode of contraception, such as birth control pills, incase you a condom breaks.
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The Question
16/f
okay im not sure if this guy is playing me or not..
he was my boyfriend for 6 months and people made up rumors that i was cheating on him, when i wasnt, this girl told him that and she liked him and now there going out. (the girl is my cousin)
this guy has been talking to me and saying stuff everynight to me since they have been going out about how he miss's me and wishes we were together and he talks about how he miss's sex and shit because my cousin is i guess prude..
last night me and my ex were at a party and we only went to 2nd someone walked in.. and hes scarred someone will tell his girlfriend(my cousin)
he asked me if i miss him and i said of course and he said he missed me to but then he said "dont worry soon it will happen" but that same night his gf left him a comment and it said how much she loves him and he responded saying i love you more than anything and then the next day(today) he is still saying he wants me back..
so i have a couple of questions.
1. should i tell my cousin hes cheating on her? ( even though its with me, i would want to know if someone was cheation on me, and i really do feel bad even though she is the reason why im not with my ex)
2. do you think this guy is playing me?
3. is it bad for me to still love him and want to be with him even though (he mights?) be playing me?
i just need some advice, or something.
thanks in advance.
The Answer
1.) Telling her would be the right thing to do. It's not her fault your ex isn't with you. He is a scum bag, that is why he isn't with you.
2.) Of course he is playing you. He has basically told you that he misses sex. You put out, even though he has a girlfriend. Why wouldn't he play you if he can have you both at once?
3.) It isn't wrong for you to still have feelings for him. What is bad is if you let those feelings give him permission to play you, disrespect you, ruin your relationship with your cousin and basically treat you like shit.
There is no 'might'. He is playing with you and your cousin. You know it. She may even know it. Both of your just don't want to know it.
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The Question
13/F
I told yawlz how much I hate gym, right? Well, it's a funny thing. The only fitness thing I do is: YOGA. I was thinking, is it possible to talk to my gym teacher and ask him if I can make a yoga type part of the class? I found out that, yes I must pass 'gym' to pass high school. Which in my opinion is a load of bull shit. Anyway, do you think I can convince my gym techer and principle to do this? I have almost 30 more peepz who agree with me on this. So, there'd not only be me doing yoga, but many others. Would a bunch of signartures work??? Please respond, ASAP!
p.s please no rudeness. I can't put up with it...
The Answer
With a rational arguments, reasonable requests and enough people supporting you certainly might be able to get a few classes of Yoga through your school.
You might want to brainstorm some ways to pay for this though. If your gym teacher doesn't have any Yoga training they might need to bring someone else in to cover it. If you can get the interested students to agree to pay a small fee to assist with this, you'd be leagues ahead. Maybe speak to some instructors you know about what it would entail and how much it would cost for a gym class or two.
Also, check the curriculum for your school board. If you can tell them precisely where yoga connects (and it will connect to things like flexibility, cardio control and other key skills that will be listed in the physical education curriculum) you'll have a very persuasive argument.
Congrats on getting creative and solving your problem.
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The Question
Here's the thing, I've spent several months trying to get over this guy who only used me for sex.. in the end i was a disapointment to him because he didnt get any, and i wasn't as good at fooling around as he though I would be (i made him think i was experienced although he was my first kiss) so now im thinking on giving up on getting over him, and spending this year apart from him (i only see him during summers) to get experienced, to get beautyful and sexy, to get confident.. so when i see him I could prove that I'm not a disapoinment, that I am actually desired by others and .. well, we'll see.. if I want him, I'll get him.. if I dont.. i will atleats have proven him wrong.. and fixed the bad experience we had together last summer.
I know this sounds like a bad idea, but can anything bad really come from giving it a shot? I know it might not go as planned, he might have a gf or i might not be able to turn into this sexy babe or whatever, but what harm can come from trying?
Give me any advice or experience you might have on this please!
The Answer
I have advice for you, but let's start off with experience:
In my first year of university I got dumped and cheated on. Not in that order of course. So, I determined that it must have been because of my weight. He had made comments about me not being as healthy or trim as I ought to be.
I dropped about 25 pounds that summer. I did it naturally, no eating disorder or the like, but I did get frighteningly skinny.
In September, the guy in question did notice that I was looking good he even propositioned me, but here is the kicker: I didn't give a rat's ass by then. It didn't make me feel better. In fact, I was even more disgusted with myself for bothering to loose all the weight just to prove something to him and for ever dating some one like him the first place. I had lost 25 pounds and most of my self respect.
In the end, it was disappointing and useless. I would have been better off spending the summer learning how to knit. I slowly gained the weight, and my self respect back, but yeah, it probably took almost a year for me to feel 'normal' again. Then I moved on to new and exciting people, and never bothered myself over him again.
He was an asshole, who would have cheated on a skinny girl just as quickly as a fat one. He was a lair and skank. I knew that was and am better then he is so I had nothing to prove to him. I tried it, but it didn't do anything for me in the end except make feel a little ashamed that I worked so hard for reasons that weren't my own.
So. Is your idea a bad one? Hell yes. You already know that! Your idea is acting for someone else. Your idea is to change yourself for someone who doesn't even care about you.
But go ahead. Do whatever you want. Just don't expect any reaction or comment on his part to change the way you feel. It won't. It really never does. After a year of 'sexing up' you'll probably dislike the person you are even more.
This is one of those situations where the best advice is to just get the fuck over it honey. Do what you want to, beautify yourself, drop some weight or even sleep around. It won't really help though until you make the choice to just leave it behind you.
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The Question
I'm in my 20s. She said she was 20 and is actually 18 and a senior in high school.
Those are the very basic facts.
Now, I'm the kind of person who lying is a big deal to me. Trust overall is a big deal. And people who violate that... lets just say that I may not bring it up, but I will remember this.
I like her. I like spending time with her. But I dont know if I should heed the giant warning sign that is finding out she's still a high school chick (and lying about it) and walk now.
Shes not the only woman I'm seeing at the moment. And no, she doesnt know that.
Risk getting deeper or run away now? What do you think?
The Answer
She deliberately lied to you. You deliberately withheld information.
Neither of those are good signs.
Move on.
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The Question
so what state in canada do you live in?
The Answer
Canada doesn't have states.
I live in Toronto, Ontario.
EDIT: Canada does NOT have states. Canada is divided into 10 provinces and 3 territories. Ontario is the most populated province and Toronto the largest city in the province and in Canada.
I'm sorry I wasn't more clear.
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The Question
My X-gf broke up with me and now I'm going out with her best friend cause my X said that she didnt care, but it turns out that my X still likes me, What do I do?
The Answer
What you want to.
Your ex said she was cool with it, so it's not your fault for going ahead. Be respectful and sensitive of her feelings, and your girlfriend's feelings, but don't make any rash desicions about your rommantic life.
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The Question
This is going to sound really weird but its very serious..
If a guy puts lotion on hes penis for sex that isnt used for sex could that give a girl an infection!?
The Answer
Absolutely.
Girls are not supposed to use prefumed or heavy soaps on thier vaginal area, and it's certianly not good if something like that gets pushed deep inside.
Stick to lube, or other products specifically meant for sex.
See a doctor if this has happened to you and you are experiencing discomfort. Likely it's just a bacterial infection, easy enough to cure with a perscription. The vagina is self-clensing, so in it's attempts to clean the lotion out of you some of the natural bacteria might have gotten out of control. You might also just be raw and sore from the friction, made far worse by the lotion being there. Either way, you wont know unless you see a doctor.
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The Question
not sure if this is the right category but yah..
say this guy has a girlfriend and he lets another girl like give him a hand job but it wasn't really a hand job because he still has his pants on and the girl is just rubbing his dick from the outside of the guys pants,
and then the guy rubs the girls vagina but outside the pants..
is that considered cheating on the other girl?
The Answer
I would consider it cheating.
I think most people would.
Unless the guy and girl have an agreement that it is okay to grope and sexually touch others, then yes, it is cheating.
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The Question
i'm in a reallyyy bad position in a love triangle.
guy one and i have been friends the same amount of time guy two and i have been friends [i met them at the same time.] well, in around march, guy one started liking me, and i was totally flattered except i didn't like him at the time. in fact, i liked guy two.
well, about a month ago, i found out guy two likes me too. so now, guy and guy two like me. but i stopped liking guy two a long time ago.
guy one is really heartbroken that he found out that i used to like guy two & that guy two likes me now.
i know for a fact i dont like guy one, but guy one likes me more than guy two. and guy two is way hotter than guy one.
they were both my really good friends, and i can't tell them both that i don't like either of them cause i'm leaning towards guy two. but i had another totally different crush who was NEITHER of these guys. i've never liked guy one, but guy one is so sweet and he always calls me beautiful, but guy two has a lot more experience with girls and likes me a lot less.
i don't know what i want.
The Answer
Sounds like you don't really want either of them.
At least, not right now.
Which is fine. Great even! Because you avoid a shit load of a drama that way.
You don't hafta date everyone who has a crush on you or everyone you have a crush on.
You shouldn't date someone you are merely 'leaning towards'. Especailly not if it is going to damage a few friendships. Don't date either of them unless you are really excited about it.
Actually, just don't date anyone unless you really excited about it.
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The Question
please help me with my question i promise I will rate anyone who does.
My bf and I have been goin out for a little over over a month, and recentaly, this other guy, kenny, hugged me, it wasn't in a i like you kind of way tho, he only hugged me because my friend steph was suppose to buy him lunch, but she didn't have enough money, so I told him I would, and thats why he hugged me, he also has a gf, well my bf say him hug me and I told him it was nothing, but he told his friend (also my freind) derek, and derek told me taht he said that he felt cheated on, and our convo later that night was tense becasue we talked about what happened at lunch, before he left, I told him that I loved him and he didn't say anything back.
We are no longer on the kenny page and have moved on the next day, but then derek told me that he told him that if something like this happened again he would brake up with me cause it hurt him to much. Well, I told my friend Steph that I promised my bf that I wouldn't eat with them anymore because of kenny, becasue I don't want to lose my bf, but i like sitting with her, she is one of my best friends, and lunch is really the on'y time I have to talk to her. What do you think I should do about all of this? I want to keep my bf but I also want to eat lunch with my friends, help...
Oh and I am also 13/f if that helps at all, and don't tell me that I am to young to fall in love because there is no age limit on it.
Thanks..
The Answer
Keep eating your lunch with your friends.
There are acceptable levels of jealously, and then there are unacceptable levels of jealously. If your boyfriend seriously intends to dump you the next time you hug another guy and thinks that you not hanging out with your friends will solve this problem, that is wildly UNACCEPTABLE.
Your message to your boyfriend is all wrong. You are being so apologetic gives him the idea that there was something wrong going on between you and Kenny and that his reaction to it was okay. There wasn't. So stop acting like there was.
Stop apologizing and say this instead: "Nothing happened, or will happen between me or any other guy. I want to be with you so I'm always going to choose you. However, I am going to hug my friends and hang out with them. You can talk to me about your feelings and I will always respect them, but I can't compromise my friendships on baseless jealously."
Watch out for any person who makes you feel guilty when you shouldn't and who tries to isolate you from your friends.
And for goodness sake tell Derek to stop playing the middleman, it isn't helping, and send your boyfriend to talk to you if there is a problem.
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