My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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ummmm well im a 15/f and i think that i may be pregnant and i know for sure that if i am and i tell the daddy he's going to say it not his(he's a bitch). Now normally i dont believe in abortion but i dont kno wat to do i mean my mom would be mad but she would help me but i dont know if im ready! they said that i can have it and take care of it, get an abortion, or adoption but i dont want to kill the baby or give it to someone els! im very confused! if i am how or should i tell the father??? should i keep it??? plz help me i dont know wat i should do!!! (link)
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I am sorry to read that you are stuck in such an awful position. I think you should talk to planned parenthood and ask them for the advice you need. They will have people trained in helping young girls make the decision that is right for them at that particular time of their life.
It is good that you feel your Mum will support you in whatever decision you make and if, as you say, the father will deny it is his, then there is no point in telling him until you have made your decision.
As a starting point, why not write down all the pros and cons of having this baby - seeing it all down in black and white may help. You need to consider your age, your family circumstances, any ambitions you may have, the help that you will receive - anything that will have an impact on your life.
If you decide that having a baby is not right for you right now, then, hard as it might be, you will have to consider abortion.
I hope that I have been of some help. I wish you all the very best and hope that whatever happens, you will be happy. Take care.
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will someone PLEASE tell me if it is possible for me to have gotten pregnant? First of all, my boyfriend and I are both virgins, and plan on keeping it that way, but we have messed around a little. The other night, I was stradling him, and was only wearing a thong, but he was fully clothed. I was only there for like a literal minute, because a car was coming. Anyways, he says he might have pre cumed a little, but that's all. is it possible that I could be pregnant? I'm so paranoid, please help me!! (link)
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The chances of you being pregnant are very slim. However, just to be on the safe side I suggest you take a pregnancy test. In future it might be a good idea if you go on the pill (the family planning clinic will help you or your family GP) ready for when you do decide to go ahead and have sex. If you are very determined to remain a virgin until after marriage, it might be sensible to refrain from foreplay with very little clothing on. One thing may lead to another and the consequences are obvious. I wish you all the best and please don't take chances.
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Well, me and my girlfriend were fooling around and after we dry humped and i came, i fingered her. Now I don't remember if i had semen on my hand(from touching my damp shorts). She's had her period already, 2 weeks after the event, but she's been showing symptoms of "Morning sickness" at the same time. Could she be pregnant or just feeling a bit under the weather? (link)
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The chances are that she is highly unlikely to be pregnant, especially as she has already had a period since the event. However, to be on the safe side I would suggest she takes a pregnancy test if she is still feeling sick. Yes, she could quite easily be feeling under the weather, and worry would also account for feeling nauseous. I hope that it all works out okay for you both, but in future please take a little more care.
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Please please help...I used to like this boy a lot..Before being together he mentioned that he has already a girlfriend..I told him to break up with her otherwise there is not even a possibility to be with me..He told me that he would do but he needs time because he was with her for about 3 months.I told ok.But after tow days he told me that he had not the chance to do it but he will do it soon.(We were together these 2 days)I told him that i don't want to be with him anymore...He made efforts to be with me but i refused.I did not tell him the truth.I told him that we just hurried up and that we don't know each other a lot...We stopped talking each other.Every Sutterday juring summer we used to go to the same cafes.He was with her.Now, i have a friend Ann who used to be friend with him the period we were together.She told me that he would break up that he used to like me very much, maybe too much AND that he didnt like his girlfriend but he was with her only because he had had sex with her.Now we started talking again.He first talked to me..I starded liking him again for once more.He is STILL with the idiot UGLY REALLY UGLY girlfriend..He is looking at me and smiling...i went somewhere noone was and he came there after some minutes..My friends tell me that he likes me.I like him.But i don't think that he will be with me again.It is said that he likes his girlfriend.He is really popular so everyone knows about him..I don t know..How can he like a girl who used to mean nothing to him?What should i do now???I mean, i would like to be with him but how?????????Please tell me...I want him to be with me only with me.I cry and cannot forgive myself for being that idiot. (link)
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He sounds like a very mixed up young man. He obviously does not know really what he wants. Do you honestly think that someone like that will be faithful to you all the time? You deserve someone who would want to go out with you exclusively. I know you said that you only want him but is that because the grass always seems greener? You're not an idiot for crying, he is treating you badly in my opinion and you are feeling let down. Try being a bit stand-offish with him - maybe wanting what he can't have will work in your favour, but seriously think about whether or not you want to be with someone who is unreliable. I wish you all the very best with this problem and hope that you sort it all out very soon. Take care.
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well i am getting to that middle school age where everyone has a boyfriend. now im not one of tthose desperate girls who must have one, but if i were to get one how would i tell my mom?
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Start off by telling her you have met a good friend and tell her his name. Say that you really like him. Ask if he can come over to study/have dinner/listen to music sometime.
All mothers want for their children is for them to be happy and safe. As long as you can assure her that he will look after you if you go out, then there shouldn't be any problems. Always respect any rules that are laid down and stick to time limits. Show her that you are reliable and responsible and you won't go far wrong.
Good luck.
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I wrote a question earlier about irregular periods, and I would like to know if there is anyway to stop one from comming or to help one start? My wedding is in a couple of days, and I never know when my period will come and I hope it doesnt that night. Is there anything I can do to stop it or prevent it..? (link)
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You will need to see the doctor so that they can prescribe a tablet that will delay your period for a week or so. Sooner would be better to give it time to work. Good luck with the wedding.
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What is the fastest way to get a hickey to dissapear? (link)
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Cover it over with foundation cream, wear a polo neck jumper or a small scarf. A hickey is a bruise and will take a few days to disappear on its own.
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i really love my boyfriend and i know we will last were really in love but my parents always put me down saying im ugly, or he's the only guy i could ever get. well me and him communicate through note about what we like or dont like about each other or something we do. and today my dad found a note where he wrote to me what he likes that i do when we have partial intercourse and got all pissed and my mom says he's disrespecting me,Is it disrespectfull? and how can i make my parents see let alone try to exsplain to them how much i love him? (link)
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Of course your father got all pissed about it, you are his little girl and no-one will ever be good enough for you. When they put you down perhaps they are unconciously trying to make you stay dependant on them because they don't want to let you go. That is not a good course of action because it will make you fight them even harder.
Depending upon how old you are, and I assume you are a young teenager, having partial intercourse is not a good idea. You say you will be together always but we can't predict the future, we can only hope our wishes will come true.
Please tell your parents you understand their worries and concerns, but they must allow you to live your life for you. However, do tell them that you have taken on board what they say but will not allow yourself to be turned against your guy. Try to abstain from any sexual activity until you are older and then make sure you protect yourself from pregnancy and any infections by taking the pill and using a condom every time you have sex.
I hope that everything works out as you want it too and wish you all the best for the future.
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Im 17/f.
I live with my stepdad and have since i was 2 years old. Well ever single he finds a way to critize me. Like he'll say kim you going to take shower you stink. And i just got out of the damn shower he was just sleeping and came downstairs and decide to be a smartass because he didnt know i had taken a shower. Or if i wash my clothes. He goes you are causing my bill to go up when you wash and dry your damn clothes. He says i alwasy loook fake because i wear foundation and eyeliner and you cant even tell i have it on. If i buy a drink at work so i can drink it at home he tells me that i need to drink slim fast instead of vitamin water or sobe drink. He calls me a whore & ho because i wear thongs ( i dont let the world know that i wear them ) He picks me up from work and i usually work till 9pm. If im not out by 9:02 he bitches at me when i get in the car. ( i cant help what time i get off )
There is so much more. But those are the basics,
Im so sick of this shit. He treats me like crap but when i tell him to shut his mouth he calls me a stupid teenager and i think i know everything.
Please help me
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Where is your Mum in all this? Is there another adult you can talk to about how you can handle this bully? Would there be a chance of moving in with another member of your family? Could you find another way of getting home?
What I would like to suggest is that you start a plan of action now that you can implement when you are 18 and can leave home. Try opening a bank account and put in as much money as you can save to put down a deposit on a small bedsit or something. Find out all you can about living alone and the best areas to live in.
Your stepfather sounds like he has serious emotional issues, but that gives him no reason to take it out on you. Try to ignore a lot of what he says because it sounds like he gets a kick out of hurting you.
You are not in an easy position and my heart goes out to you. Nothing lasts forever and your life will get better as you get older. I wish you all the very best. Good luck.
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I just graduated from college and now I'm in a university. So the problem is.. I don't have any friends who can eat with me during lunch. I kinda feel very lonely because I'm not used to eating alone while I was in college. Now, I get to lectures all by myself...spend my breaks by myself..I'm beginning to feel very lonely and depressed.
Most of my friends went to different unis and it's hard to say "hi! shall we eat together?" to a stranger I met during lectures.
I did ask my friends if they were willing to eat alone and they all said "never". But when I asked my family members, they said its alright to eat alone...
I mean like..what if I bump into some of my friends and they see me eating all alone like a beggar? I did try to eat alone before and at that time I kind of tried to quickly finish my food so that I wouldn't see anyone I know. And I don't like to hurry while I'm eating.
So right now..I just need reassurance..is it alright to eat alone in uni?
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It can be very hard and lonely starting Uni on your own. It is quite acceptable to eat alone, but can I suggest that you have a look around the dining hall and see if there are any other people eating alone. You may be quite surprised to find that there are many lonely people feeling like you do. It will take a bit of courage to go up to someone and ask if they would like to join you as they are eating alone too, but please try it.
It will take you a couple of weeks to find other people on your course that you can be friends with so please don't lose heart. My daughter went through exactly the same thing herself this time last year and it was rough for a few weeks.
This year she is sharing a house with three other girls that she got to know during the first year. She and her friends are much happier now, so things do get better.
I hope that everything improves quickly for you, and you will look back on this experience as a learning curve. Good luck.
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I'm a virgin and I want to stay a virgin until marriage. Don't get my wrong; this question is not about fighting perr pressure to change my mind. Actually, I'm worried about my friends. There are only 4 girls in my church youth group including me. The other three have all lost their virginity. (My youth group age range is 11-15 btw) One of them is a slut, mostly because she's gulliable and likes guys WAY TOO MUCH. Another one of them, my cousin, lost her virginity to a player, and now has fallen for another player, who is a guy in my youth group! He's the brother of the slut, and he's a manwhore, too. She's determined to make him fall in love with her, even if it means using her body to tempt him. She made a video for her of herself acting sexy and talking dirty. Luckily she hasn't given it to him yet. Now, outside my youth group... One of my long-time crushes (age 14) who also goes to church and was our 8th grade valedictorian... he's a teen father. He got his girlfriend pregnant. And she's only 14, too. So, I'm really scared. I don't want my friends to get STDs or get pregnant. I want them to have morals. Plus, if they are acting like this... is there anyone left out there besides me whose still decent? These people are Christians, you'd think they'd have some sense! But they don't! I'm already worried that I'm never going to be able to find a husband that hasn't been with another girl... Yet I'm so powerless because if I boss around my friends, they won't be my friends anymore. HELP! & Sorry this is so long! (link)
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Unfortunately you can't force your morals onto other people. I applaud you for wanting to hold onto your virginity, I wish more people would. There are still quite a few guys with the same morals as you and I am sure you will meet a good one some day. You may have to work your way through a few "bad" guys first though.
As for your cousin, is there any way of talking her out of throwing herself at this man? You don't need to preach, but just point out the downside of sleeping around - STDs, HIV, pregnancy, disappointing her parents and just as important - being used and abused by guys who don't give a damn. Once they have got what they want they will just chuck her away like a used tissue!
Hold onto your faith and your mature attitude to life with pride. Be available to listen to your friends when they are dumped or in trouble and believe that one day you will be loved because of your morals. I wish you all the very best.
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Okay I"m 13year old female and i go witha 16 year old guy.. He's experienced and is ready so am i but what if we do it an i get pregnant what then?? I know use condoms... My cousin used protection an got pregnant... I really am ready... i know Birth control but how do i get to the place to get the pills...Or should i dump him and wait for a guy who isn't experienced??????? (link)
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You may think you are ready, but 13 is still very young. I agree with the other Advicenator in that the guy probably just wants to take your virginity and will do a runner the minute anything goes wrong.
Your parents will most definitely find out (they always do) and they could call the police and have your guy arrested for underage sex.
If your guy is serious about you he will want to wait until you can legally have sex (normally 16). Why not ask him to respect you and wait. Chances are he will not want to hang around.
If nothing you are told convinces you to wait, then make sure you use double protection in the form of condoms and the pill. This should protect you against HIV, STDs etc., and pregnancy.
Please think long and hard about the decisions you should make. Once you have lost your virginity you cannot get it back. Whatever way you turn, I wish you all the best.
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okay... i do not know how to explain this.. BUT.. i do know one thing, i REALLY need to control my anger before i pound someone to death.. because thats how much anger i have inside of me... i have tried the breathing in and out, doesnt help me.. i have too much anger to actually concentrate AT ALL on that. I desperately need help or advice of ANY sort before i go too far..and i have a feeling its going to be soon... (link)
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Why not try taking up a contact sport like boxing or judo, or a non-contact sport like kung fu, to work off your excess angry energy. I think that perhaps you need to channel your anger in a positive way towards some kind of challenge and then once you have been able to ease the anger, you need to find out why you feel so angry all the time.
Try to work out a pattern of what it is that triggers your anger. Write down every time you feel you are losing it and what you were doing prior to that. Once you have identified the triggers, you then need to find a way of diffusing it before it gets out of hand. Either by walking away or shadow boxing or another technique taught in a sports class.
It is a very positive step that you recognise you need help now before something really serious goes down. I wish you all the best and hope that you get the help you desire. Good luck.
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I thought I was pregnant the past week or so, yet I took 2 tests since then(4 days ago and one tonight), and they both read negative results. However, I have been getting sharp(not horrible, just little) pains in my stomach and my breasts have been overly sore the past week. Today, 9 days after my missed period, I bled. The blood is not heavy or light ..but middle. I heard that if i was pregnant and am having a miscarriage, it would have hurt alot more and I would have noticed if I was having one..I dont see how i could have even had one if I never had a positive pregnancy test in the first place.. I am not sure if I should still believe I am pregnant or what..after 2 negative pregnancy test.I have a doctors appt. next week to take another test but I am not sure what to think. (link)
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There are three possibilities here:
1. You are just late and your body is reacting to that.
2. You are pregnant and it is just taking a while to settle down.
3. You were pregnant and have had an early miscarriage.
It is entirely possibly to have a miscarriage early on and not know until afterwards that that is what has happened. It does not necessarily have to hurt a lot, it may just be uncomfortable. A lot of woman miscarry without realising they were even pregnant. It is also possibly to have several negative pregnancy tests before it is confirmed that you are pregnant. Most tests are highly reliable but there is always the odd percentage of failure.
I suggest that you still keep your doctors appointment so that he/she can advise you on the best course of action next.
I hope that you are feeling a lot better and wish you all the best whatever happens. Good luck.
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ok so almost every time im about to start my period my [chest] starts to hurt. it feels like they are rocks and they feel sore. is this normal? is this just part of the whole period thing or am i growing? whats going on? (link)
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As youngrandma said, it is all perfectly normal. It can be very uncomfortable for a few days and I find a good fitting bra, ibuprofen and a hot water bottle help a lot. All the best.
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My best freind is this girl i hang out with her everyday......and i love her so much but if i tell her how much i love her i think she will never talk to me again but if i dont tell her....and then i would of wish i would of told her....... (link)
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Why don't you bring the subject of telling people you love them up with her. Say that you felt the need to tell your parents/sister/brother etc., how much they mean to you. Then add that your best friend means a lot to you also. You don't need to say "I love you", just express how much you need her and enjoy her company. My best friend and I have known each other for nearly 30 years and we feel it is important to touch base occasionally (especially when horrid things happen) and say how much we appreciate each other. Everyone loves to feel loved and being open enough to say it is a fantastic gift. Don't be embarrassed to say how you feel, and especially, to those that mean the most to you. I wish you all the very best.
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i heard that you shouldn't go to bed with wet hair..
how come? (link)
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The only reasons I can think of are that you will make the pillow wet and your hair could become very tangled as it drys. I have gone to bed when I was younger with it wet and in small plaits to give it a wavy effect the next day. Having wet hair isn't a big problem when you go to bed.
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My boyfriend gets really bad blood noses.. sometimes up to 4 or 5 a day!
Someone told him that he can go to the doctor and get something inside his nose lasered to stop the nose bleeding but he doesn't want to go to the doctor.
He either gets lots of little ones a few times a day or it bleeds lots and has less blood noses a day.
He's never smoked and neither do I so I don't think that could be a problem.. although his dad smokes but he doesn't like it so he stays away from it.
His diet is pretty healthy and he's an active person, he's 20 years old if that helps.
Why could he be getting blood noses? The weather is only just starting to heat up where we live so what could be the problem?
Thanks :) (link)
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My daughter suffers a lot with heavy nosebleeds. It is usually caused by a weak blood vessel in the nostrils. The doctors can cauterise a blood vessel if they feel it is necessary so why not tell him to make an appointment with his doctor to discuss his options. It is always better to seek professional help when someones health is a concern. Hope this helps.
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ok this is very embarrassing but my class has just is starting another health unit. Last we we learned the same thing and had a test and I, of course, failed miserabaly and STILL do not know where the vagina is! I was going to ask the teacher but I felt embarrased. There could be any holes! Is it the hole where pee comes out? Is it where they take a S***? or is there a third hole? =S Please answer if you're a girl since I want to know from a person that actually knows since girls have it and not boys. (link)
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Your vagina is where you pee from. If you are finding it difficult to discuss the female body with anyone, why not get a book from the library that will answer all your questions. Hope this helps.
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Ok dumb quesiton but I'm REALLY serious! The instructions on the packages are so not even detailed, it's like they're trying to say it in the least amount of words and pictures or something! I need someone to explain it VERY clearly because I heard that tampons are better than pads? But I'm scared what if the tampon gets stuck up there and then you'd have to yank it out and like what if perices of skin and stuff up there ripped off?! :O please answer! (link)
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Okay to begin with a tampon is smooth with no sharp edges so it is highly unlikely to scratch inside. The best way of inserting a tampon is to stand with one foot on the edge of the toilet and one on the floor. Push the tampon into the vagina at a slight angle towards the lower end of your spine. It should slide in easily that way and after an hour or two, depending on how heavy your period is, the tampon should pull out quite easily. The tampon will only slightly stick if you use the wrong size for your flow. Always start off using the lowest absorbency and work up at your own speed depending on how quickly you get through the packet. The tampon should not disintegrate inside the vagina because of the way it is manufactured. Always use a good brand.
However, here is the big but - never leave a tampon in longer that stated on the box. The tampon can become nasty and you could end up suffering from TSS (toxic shock syndrome). Untreated, this will kill you.
As long as you follow the instructions properly, tampons are safe to use. Hope this helps.
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