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critizing.
Im 17/f.
I live with my stepdad and have since i was 2 years old. Well ever single he finds a way to critize me. Like he'll say kim you going to take shower you stink. And i just got out of the damn shower he was just sleeping and came downstairs and decide to be a smartass because he didnt know i had taken a shower. Or if i wash my clothes. He goes you are causing my bill to go up when you wash and dry your damn clothes. He says i alwasy loook fake because i wear foundation and eyeliner and you cant even tell i have it on. If i buy a drink at work so i can drink it at home he tells me that i need to drink slim fast instead of vitamin water or sobe drink. He calls me a whore & ho because i wear thongs ( i dont let the world know that i wear them ) He picks me up from work and i usually work till 9pm. If im not out by 9:02 he bitches at me when i get in the car. ( i cant help what time i get off )
There is so much more. But those are the basics,
Im so sick of this shit. He treats me like crap but when i tell him to shut his mouth he calls me a stupid teenager and i think i know everything.
Please help me
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Words that mean should not be coming out of his mouth. Instead of telling him to shut his mouth, tell him that saying those things to you really hurts and that you don't need to hear that debasement from someone who is supposed to be caring. Talk to another adult about this, maybe an aunt or someone who is nice. The good news is that you can be out when you turn eighteen and I would start planning on it. You don't need to know everything to know that he is mean, and you don't deserve that treatment from anyone. Try to ignore his comments like you would a barking poodle or a hammer in the distance. His words have no meaning in reality, and they are proof of his own self-worth, not yours. The eyes may be the window to the soul, but the mouth is its hearth. An icy soul speaks coldly and a hot soul will make your ears burn. The wise and healthy person keeps a balanced temperature and radiates words both true and kind.
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Have you talked to your mom about this? I mean after all he is her husband so maybe he will listen to her. You said he yells at you when you tell him to shut his mouth but have you considered letting him know in a nice way that the things he says hurt you.
There could be the possibility that he does indeed care for you but doesn't really know how to express that to you. Its hard for step parents to actually be good parents. Because of the fact that they know thaey are not your biological parent which makes their job tougher. So keep that in mind.
Yes he may say things to put you down and everything but just keep a posotive outlook. You know those things arent true so don't take the things he says to heart.
Look on the bright side though you only have one more year until you leave and go to college. Have you considered living with another relative until you're 18? For example a grandparent or maybe an aunt or uncle. I'm sure your extended family would be more than happy to give you a place to stay and probably be pretty undestanding.
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Where is your Mum in all this? Is there another adult you can talk to about how you can handle this bully? Would there be a chance of moving in with another member of your family? Could you find another way of getting home?
What I would like to suggest is that you start a plan of action now that you can implement when you are 18 and can leave home. Try opening a bank account and put in as much money as you can save to put down a deposit on a small bedsit or something. Find out all you can about living alone and the best areas to live in.
Your stepfather sounds like he has serious emotional issues, but that gives him no reason to take it out on you. Try to ignore a lot of what he says because it sounds like he gets a kick out of hurting you.
You are not in an easy position and my heart goes out to you. Nothing lasts forever and your life will get better as you get older. I wish you all the very best. Good luck.
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