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February 22, 2015

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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

Strange Question:
What does it mean when a cat winks at you? I was sitting in my room this morning, and then looked behind me and saw my cat. I was like "Where the hell did you come from?" and then she winked it me!

Anybody know what that signifies? I've Google searched it to no avail.

That's so cool! Every cat has a different personality. All cats that can wink will. It is probably your cat's way of responding to you when you say something with the tone that you did. Cats are pretty smart. Your cat probably knows that it scared you a little bit and was picking on you about it. :)

This guy ive been with for some time used to be good in bed, we'd do it all over the place and it would be wild and fun....but lately its been like 3 minutes of 5 minutes for like 2 weeks straight and im getting sick of it. It does something for him and nothing for me. He says that he's sorry and cant control it and that he "doesnt know whats wrong with him". But Ive talked to other guys and they say that any guy can control when they get off and that he's being selfish and doesn't care about pleasing me. Is that true?

That's not true at all. Some guys do have problems with this. Try not to give him a hard time about it. It won't help. It just puts pressure on him. Do some research on premature ejaculation. There's probably a few websites out there with tips of how to avoid it.

Ok...well, I have been very patient on the "first kiss" front-- not rushing into it like many girls these days. I'm 14 and haven't even held hands before. But I'm really into romantic stuff more than anything, and love the idea of hugging, first kiss...etc.

So, my deal isn't that I want to rush into my first kiss so much - it's that, my best friend, who's a guy, is most likely going to have the role opposite me in the school musical, and will have to kiss me if so! Now, I really don't want my first kiss to be a stage kiss. And I do think of him romantically sometimes...but just the fact that he's my best friend makes it so awkward! Plus he's very awkward to begin with...haha :)

Well, thanks for the help - wish me luck!!

)

Talk to the director and tell him/her your concerns. There are ways to pretend to kiss. It'll look like a kiss to the audience, but you won't actually be kissing. That'll be a whole lot less uncomfortable for you and for him. Stage kisses in high school plays are a terrible thing. It puts too much pressure on the both of you and you'll get a lot of grief from your peers. The director should understand. :)

Hey!
Im f/17 soon to be 18!
My question is do you think that and 17/18 year old should be datting a 22 year old... like im finishing gr12.. and he's finishing University...
Is that a really big age diffrence to you?

Yes. Age differences mean a lot when you're a teenager. Once you're in your mid 20's it doesn't make that much difference anymore, but since you're 18, it's huge. I'm not saying it's a terrible relationship and that it'll never work out because you're too young. That's not true at all. It is a huge age difference though, which could definitely cause some problems for you.

I know it's like so far away from Feb. 14th right now, but I really want to give a Valentine's Day card to my friend Jon. I want to write something sweet short and witty but I just don't know what I could write! I like him so much I'm planning this months ahead so it'll be perfect. Does anyone have any ideas?

I gave you the answer that you needed to hear. I decided to be the one to say it. I can guarantee that I'm not the only one with this opinion. You must admit that you're really jumping the gun on this. It's way too early. Calm down. Seriously. I'm not trying to be mean either. I'm trying to make you realize that you're being kind of silly. That's actually a pretty nice thing to do isn't it? Don't you want to know when you're being silly so you can stop? I could have just skipped over the question like everybody else did.

Get a grip. This is way to early to start thinking about Valentine's day. Plus, how are we supposed to help you write something? We don't know this guy! Come up with something on your own. Seriously. It's not like Valentine's day is tomorrow. Even if it was, how could any of us possibly write anything better than what you can come up with yourself? All we know is the guy's name. What are we supposed to do? Rhyme things with Jon? Gosh. It's too early to even start thinking about Halloween and that's next month. Why don't you put your efforts into making a cute costume to impress him first? So many things can happen between now and Valentine's day. I mean, you could be dating him by then, or have dated him and already broken up. that would completely change things wouldn't it? I know you're excited and it's good to be excited, but you are going a tad bit overboard. Please calm down.

ok so this morning my computer said "low disk memory space. click here for options" and so i clicked on it and it lead me to like some disk cleanup thing so then i clicked on clean up but now my paint on computer is gone! and so is my internet explorer, all thats left is my aol explorer. i have no idea what it did! i thought it was just gonna clean up a few stuff i didn't know it was going to delete my stuff! i'm freaking out right now can anyone tell me how to get them back? i'm sure there could have been some other programs that got deleted too. & no i dont think its a virus cause it was windows that requested a disk cleanup. please help!

First, relax. You can get them back. Find the disks that came with your computer. Put them in and find those programs and reinstall them onto your computer.

When your computer alerts you that there's low disk space, it means that your computer's memory is just about full. It'll run really slow and if it does happen to fill up, lets just say that's really bad. you should always have over 1 GB of memory on your computer. You'll start having problems if you're below that. The more the better though. I would say try to get 10 GB of free space. Manually delete files from your computer. If you do the disk cleanup thing, it'll choose programs to delete that it thinks you don't need or you don't use. If you can find enough stuff to delete or uninstall on your own, that's a much better option. If you have a lot of video files or programs that you don't use, get rid of them! Then run the disk defragmenter (Start, Programs, Accessories, System Tools). The disk defragmenter reorganizes your computer and moves files around to maximize space. You can check to see how much space is on your computer by going to My Computer, right clicking on drive C and viewing the Properties. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, contact a friend that's pretty good with computers and they should be able to guide you through it. Good luck!

my boyfriend says that he wants to have more foreplay because we usually just go right at it. now i am all for that but i dont know what to do? any suggestions?

Ask him what he would like. Every person is different and if you're not sure what to do, he has ideas. It was his request after all. He must have something in mind. If you can't talk about stuff like this with him because you are too embarrassed or uncomfortable you have no business having sex. Being ready for sex isn't just being physically ready. You need to be mentally and emotionally ready too, which includes being mature enough to talk about it. I mean, if you can have sex with him, talking shouldn't be a problem. Sure people on here can give you ideas, but only your boyfriend knows what he wants. ASK HIM!!!! He'll probably really appreciate it if you do and telling you about what he wants should be a big turn on for him. Good luck.

Can ending processes (such as AIM, internet explorer, etc) instead of clicking 'end task' in the Applications tab in windows task manager be damaging to the computer? or is it all right to do?

No it's fine. It only warns you because if you end an important Windows process, your computer will stop working and you'll have to restart it. It's not a problem at all, what you're doing is perfectly ok. Any software that you've downloaded isn't an important windows process that has to be running for your computer to work right. I hope that makes sense. They only warn you in case you accidentally clicked something else. :)

is it possible to break your chest? cos my friend was lifting and he says his chest really hurts and he asked me if it was possible to break it and i wasnt sure

If he broke anything in there he'd be in a whole lot more pain than he is. He may have a hairline fracture or something though so he should definitely get that checked out by a doctor. I hope he's okay!

i had sex for the first time in 18months about a week ago. with a guy i met at a bar it was a one night stand thing and we used the pull out method 2 times in a row its been a week and my boobs are tender when i found out i was pg with my daughter it was 2 weeks after i had sex and my boobs very very full and i couldnt even touch them... do you think i can be pregnet??? i dont go to the bathroom right after words i think i did the second time and he did the second time to.... i doont no what to think... or do....

Yes, of course you could be. You don't need us to tell you that. What you do need us to tell you, however, is that the pull out method is extremely ineffective as a birth control method. It's so ineffective, the guy may as well finish without pulling out. I don't even consider it a method, that's how bad it is. Never use it again. That said, please get a home pregnancy test in a week so you know if you are pregnant or not and can start preparing for it if you are. Home pregnancy tests will only work 2 weeks after you had sex. I hope that everything works out okay for you. Good luck.

Hey i need a big list of all the facebook apps or at least a lot of them, or is there a site where theres a lot of them. thanks in advance. XD

You can browse through them on facebook itself. That's probably the only place you're going to find them. Click on "Applications" on your left hand navigation, then click the button on the top called "Browse More Applications". There's pages and pages of them and you can sort them in 4 different ways. You can also get a list of all of them if you click on the link on the right that says "All" and a number in the 4,000's. :)

ok.everyone is always complimenting me on my super clear skin.im in 8th grade.see i think im the only person at Clark fricken Middle School who hasnt "developed" yet.But they dont know.but i think im close because i have all of a sudden over nite i got like 30 zits.i have a rep for a great face!im already taking pills,cream,and cleanser.its working but not fast enough.i want to change my diet 2 organtic foods.its not what my family eats.and they get mad when i eat something different then them.what foods are organtic and how can i convince my parents.

Whoa, slow down. Eating organic food isn't going to immediately cure your problem. It's not going to help at all anyway. Organic vs. nonorganic food has nothing to do with acne. Don't overload on meds either. Pills, cream, and cleanser is wayyyy too much. Drop the pills and just stick to either the cream or the cleanser. It's going to be okay. Everybody gets acne at some point in their lives. Get some coverup and nobody will ever even notice. Good luck and try to chill a little bit. It's not the end of the world. If you've had very clear skin thus far, you'll have clear skin again. Much more often than most teens. Good luck.

15/f

I can't do this anymore. I go to a boarding school and I can't sleep at all at night because my roommate goes to bed at 1 am and her alarm goes off at 6 am. And she keeps walking in and out all throughout the night. It's annoying as hell.

Plus people are yelling and screaming in the hallways.

WHAT CAN I DO TO GET SOME FREAKING SLEEP?

please don't say "just talk to your roommate".

thanx.

Talking to her could help, but if you already have and she continues to be disrespectful, it might be a good idea to talk to whoever is in charge of you. In college they are called resident assistants and resident directors. Maybe a dorm mom? I'm sure they have something like that. It wouldn't be tattling or anything, but that person might actually be able to get you a new roommate or something. Other than that, try earplugs. They're really cheap and not too uncomfortable. If you put your alarm up really loud and don't get the heavy duty earplugs it should work. Just try it out on the weekend first to make sure that your alarm will still wake you up. If it doesn't try using noise canceling headphones and set a music, or cell phone alarm to wake you up. Most standard boom boxes, CD players, and radios will have this if you don't already have something with this feature. Just visit the electronics section of a local store and they should be able to help you.

i am a freshman in college and i am looking to transfer next year [entering fall 08] to a school out of state. i need my high school transcript to apply and it said on the application instructions for transfers to send my sat scores, application and fee, and hs/college transcript to the school. my question is, do i contact my high school and get my transcript sent to me? to directly sent to the school from my high school? also, the same for my current college? im so confused about this. any help or extra advice would really be appreciated!! =)

Contact your high school and ask them. Maybe they will send it directly to your new college, maybe they will send it to you and you will have to send it to your new college. Who cares? It doesn't make a difference who they send it to, you're going to have to contact your high school anyway. They will tell you what they're going to do with it. Same with your college. Just contact the office of Records and Registration or its equivalent and they will give you any and all information you need. There's no reason to be confused because it really doesn't matter what they do. They'll do what they do and your transcripts will get to your new college either way. Good luck! :)

my best friend used to be in our group but then she left us for all these gothic kids. she denys being gothic. today at school she wore all black and dark purple. her friend started talking to me and he was sayin ew omg shes so gothic and she cuts why are you her friend. i was so embarassed i looked at her and her other friend just stared at me and he said why are you acting so happy! and her friends do kinda give me chills in this class ther was her 2 guys and a girl of her friends. she never usually takes any shit from people shed stand up for her self and her friends usually do to. but she sat there peeking smiling. after class she said o what a friend to me and i thought she was talking about me. was this like a setup? we were talking yesterday about our old group and she sounded kinda mad. she said i act like i dont know her at school. could she have told her friends. im still in it but i feel like an outcast with out her. but she seems so much happier around these friends. whats with her always being with guys well and girls and what happened im just confused? her friends accept me and she keeps me safe if im around them i have a soft heart shes a great friend but what am i? well im 14 girl shes 13..girl lol shes been my best friend my whole entire life but i gues i do tell my other friend their my best friends.. shes been with thoes friends for over a year. plus all her away messages are depressive that she writes or their song lyrics with cutting and death! what do i say to her what should she do.

What you need to do is have a talk with her in which you will decide whether or not you want to continue being an active friend with her. Since you are her friend and you are concerned about her you need to share your feelings and fears with her. Have a talk with her and let her know how you feel. Tell her what you think of her new friends and her new identity. Warn her that even if she isn't the stereotypical goth, she will be viewed as such and everybody will think that she is doing all kinds of terrible things. What matters more isn't who you are, it's how you present yourself to others. Only you can see who you are inside. Everything you will get in life is through other people. If other people don't take you seriously and judge you negatively, you're never going to get anywhere. Plus, if she keeps up this act of hers, she could become the stereotypical goth especially if she's hanging out with people that are. She'll be really influenced by that. How is she expressing herself by acting just like other people? And how is wearing a certain type of clothing expressing oneself? It just makes her look ridiculous. Who she is isn't defined by what she wears, it's defined by what she does, what she knows, and who her friends are. It sucks, but that's how it is. Try to talk her out of what she's doing through your concerns. If she won't listen to you, stop being an active friend to her. What I mean by that is, she'll still be your friend but you won't be talking or hanging out with each other. You'll care about her like a friend does and you'll be there for her, but you won't have the day to day friendly contact that active friends do with each other. If she does take what you say to heart, that's great. Keep encouraging her to truly be herself instead of conforming to a silly category. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you can convince your friend that there's more to life than what you wear.

so I've only been in school (college) for like 3 weeks, but i've already gained like 30 pounds off of the dining hall food. I can't control myself- they always have ice cream and cake and brownies and fries and all their salad dressing and milk is the full-blown calorie version. So what should I do? I can't handle this!

How can I stop gaining weight and get back to the weight I was before I came! I'm going to like die of a heart disease now! I'm soooo fat! omg! help

Stay away from the desert table!!! Don't even look at it. Saying "no" to dessert no matter what it is will keep you from gaining more weight. Limit yourself to 3 things. What I mean by that is, don't have more than 3 different types of foods and only have one serving of each. Meat, veggie mix, and a side of pasta/soup/fries/etc. is plenty of food. For lunch, don't go for the hot meal. Just get something light like a sandwich, salad, or bowl of soup. Avoid having late night snacks. Not only are the typical late night snacks VERY unhealthy for you, eating right before bed makes it hard for your body to burn off those calories. If you do get hungry at night and need something to energize you, eat a granola bar or a piece of fruit. I know this sounds like a lot, but it's really not a hard plan to follow. My first year of college I noticed that I was eating wayyyy to many potatoes. Practically everything I was eating was made of or had potatoes in it. That's not too healthy since potatoes are full of carbs so I decided that I wasn't going to eat potatoes for a week. It was hard because pretty much everything in the dining hall had something to do with potatoes. After that week though, I subconsciously avoided potatoes. I had them sometimes, but it was a lot easier for me to eat healthily without even thinking about it. After awhile, you won't even have to think about eating healthy. You'll just do it. To lose the weight that you have already gained, you're going to have to start exercising. Nothing big. Every day, go on a walk or short jog. Build up as you are able. I know it's tough to work that into your schedule, but really, you only need to do it for about a half hour per day. I know in the beginning I said that you should avoid the dessert table altogether. It wouldn't hurt if you limited yourself to one dessert a week. Make it the same day and the same meal each week though. For example, every Friday after dinner treat yourself to one thing from the dessert table. I wish you the best of luck and I know that you can do this if you really want to lose those extra 30 lbs! :)

I have to do a school project on a controversial/ethical subject and I wanted to choose something other than the death penalty or abortion. I have chosen to do underage drinking. As part of research for the project we have been asked to gather different points of view about the topic and I decided Advicenators would be an ideal place to get some of these opinions/experiences.

If you could take a few minutes to answer these questions/give any additional infomation then it would be very much appreciated.

Did you drink when you were underage? (I know that the legal age varies in different countries, so just go with whatever the legal age is where you are). If so, how often? Where and how did you obtain the alcohol? I'm focussing a large section of the paper on the use of fake ID/asking older friends etc to buy alcohol for you, so if you have any experiences with that, then please let me know in as much detail as possible.

Thank you.

I drank twice when I was underage (18 & 20). The first time was so little it wasn't even worth it. I regret having done it. The alcohol was given to me by other underage friends in their dorm room, located in our freshmen only college dorm. They obtained the alcohol from an older friend who purchased it legally. The second time was at a private party. The people there were ages 17-20, and the alcohol was purchased legally by the hostess' older sister.

One particular party I remember very clearly because of how the alcohol was obtained. My friend and I didn't drink, but everyone else did and alcohol was available and offered to us. EVERYONE at the party was underage and the alcohol was provided by the hostess' PARENTS. As much of and whatever anybody wanted. It was terrible. Not only that, but they had a swimming pool and someone almost drowned because they went to bed and didn't pay any attention to or care what we were doing.

Ok...so my boyfriend and me have talked about a promise ring. We've been together for a year and a half and we know that we truly love each other and want to spend our lives together. We both decided that we would wait a few more months before taking this step! Do you think this is too soon? Or can you really put a time on these kinds of things!

A promise ring doesn't really mean anything. It's just a really nice thing that you two can do. So, it's not too soon at all. I think that you should definitely do it. Just don't spend over $100 on it. That way, if you do break up and you do want to keep it, he probably won't object. Anyway, back to the positive side of things. You've been together for a long time so there's obviously already commitment in the relationship. The ring would be a sign of that to other people. :)

I got a pup when I was in about 4th grade. I'm in my junior year now. He's 9 years old. I find this strange that when I look at other dogs and meet them.. they are just animals.. pets.. dogs to me.. But when I'm with my dog, he's not just someone [hah, an animal] you go "aww cute" and pet.. Isn't that strange? I treat my dog almost like a person and he gets the affection he deserves.. but other dogs.. I don't know how to explain this.. But why am I thinking like this? Is it just because I grew up with him and he became so familiar? He does not act like a normal dog you can say. He's not hyper and he's not confusing to me or unpredictable. I can tell when he's sad, sick or in pain. I feel out of place. I met my cousins new puppy and he was wagging his tail.. being hyper.. To me, that dog was just a pet you take care of. But my dog, he's a part of the family and sometimes i feel like i can understand him just by looking at his eyes... It makes me feel weird, is this wrong?

Not at all. Compare these feelings to people. When you are walking down the street and you see a friend, that registers in your mind. When you see other people, they're just other people. You don't care that much about them and you don't even really notice them. You know your friend and you care about them though, so something lights up inside of you when you see them. Same with your dog. You know your dog so your reaction and feelings toward your dog are different than for just any other dog. I hope that makes sense. :)

What are some good father-daughter songs for weddings?

"Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle is a great song. It may have been overused a little bit for this type of thing since it's pretty obvious that that is what it's for, but that doesn't change how great of a song it is. :)

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