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I was on this site before recording my first single. I will stay a member of this site. I am asking that each of you support me by visiting my webpage. I have posted music that I have written and recorded. Check out Wildside featuring Father Jah, and I want, created in memory of 2Pac.http://www.reverbnation.com/Venomtheonly1
I am open, honest, truthful yet also insightful and understanding. I am a Strong woman with morals, belief, and character. I value life, myself and life of everything, everyone and all. I am mature, caring, giving, straight up and real!
I am not harsh, rude, or disrespectful but I am going to tell you the truth because you are asking for that. If you want a lie or support that you know is invalid because you question it yourself, please don't get mad at me for the truth because that is what sets us ALL free!! Peace, Venom
advice
Okay so I am honestly in love with this guy, but he doesn't feel the same way about me. He told me a while back that when he broke up with me he knew we'd never be able to date again but I have this feeling that says I don't think he was telling the truth when he told me that. At the same time there are some people who have shown interest in me, and I mean my mind tells me it's just smart to move on and not keep emotionally hurting myself over this guy, but also wouldn't it be unfair to both the guy I'd be dating and to myself if I dated them while I was actually in love with another guy? I've tried getting over him but I just can't, and I feel as if I could wait for him forever even if I never did get him back. I know I'm young, but I also don't think like a person my age and I do know I am truly in love with this person. But at the same time, should I try to date again and stop being hopeful or listen to what I feel and trust that there is still something there that can come back in the future?
I am sorry for your hurt and your breakup. I don't think you should date anyone else right away just because they would be a rebound person. It's not cool to hurt someone because you are hurting. (even if it's unintentional). Instead I would move on with my life without anyone in it right now to take some time out for you. Hang out with some friends, so some fun stuff - school is out right? Try to stay active so that you have no time to sit and mope over him. IF you are still calling, texting, IMing and emailing, STOP.. let it go. He may just contact you and if he does, don't jump on it immediately because you want to make sure that this is what the both of you want. Give yourself some time to hurt and heal before you starting dating other people. So, the thought is this: you are giving yourself time to bounce back girl, not him time to come back! You feel me?
Good Luck and Keep it movin! Hey, listen to Toni Braxton- Take this ring and Beyonce - Freakum Dress.. get hyped up, cute, and go out with your girls and have a damn ball!!! Don't give him any power over your happiness... Do you!! "smile"
ive been dating this guy on and off for about 9 months now and big problem he hurt me alot and hes a reall bad boy drugs sex alcohol. he played me with other girl.. not because hes a player just because of where he was raised and how his mom and dad werent really in his life so he felt lonely and depended on girls to fill that whole and not only one girl can satisfy him which kills me inside. because i love him so much i want to help him become a better person but what had happened was he had left me hanging after i lost my virginity to him and a week later he calls and he apologizes and now we're sort of together but he's opening up to me and he's actually seeing his wrong and changing attending school no more drugs out of the playing girls buisness.. but my family hates him and forbids me to see him. and he kills me up inside to split the 2 most important things apart. they would kill me if they knew i was with him again they hate him for hurting me and i have to lie to see him and it just eats me up inside... i love him but i love m family and im scared if i tell them about him they'll take away my freedom and take him away from me.. i just dont know what to do? should i just keep hiding him from my family..?
I encourage you to let it go and find someone you don't have to lie about being with. There are a few names I could think of to call this guy but I won't do it. I will say this,I have been through this same thing and it hurts so bad and each time the hurt gets worst. There will be another time and more times after that. He isn't going to change until HE WANTS to change. You can't help a person change. If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.
He is a compulsive, habitual liar and you aren't the only one he is lying too. Bad guys look for good girls because we are the ones who are considered as easy, stupid, and gullible. Trust me. Don't allow your family to take him away from you. Love yourself enough to take yourself away from him before he takes the person you are.
The broken family thing: that must be a playa code or something. Every loser I have ever dated, married, dealt with used that same damn excuse when the truth is: I am selfish, I like hurting you and other girls because you all let me do it. Until he realizes what an ass he is, and becomes disgusted with himself, he isn't going to change. I knew a man who claimed change for 12 years and the only thing he changed was his sneakiness so that he wouldn't get caught!
He did whatever he need to do until he got it, after he got it, he left you hangin'.. he will do that to you as long as you choose to deal with it. It obviously bothers you as you posted your question. No, man or BOY is worth you lying to your family about. Your family loves YOU and wants what's best for you and your life. This Boy doesn't. He wants what he can get and you deserve and can do MUCH BETTER!!! Good Luck dear heart
I'm in college and this summer is the first time I have a job where I am making enough money to really start saving for the future. I have a regular checking account, but is there another place I can put my money where it can grow and earn interest faster? Any advice?
Hi. I am a CPA and I think I can help you. I would put my money in a savings account. Based on the amount you have saved, or requirement of the bank you could check into a mutual fund money market. Go into a local bank and speak with one of the account representatives or financial planners. Hope this helps and good luck
Like I said before it is a very complicated situation, and I’ll only told you some of it. The affair started as a friendship (like most do) and elevated very quickly. I think a big factor in that was he was leaving for Iraq for 6 months. It became physical between them only a few days before he left. She was sad to be losing him as a friend, and that’s how it happened. So besides the couple of days before he left, the affair was mainly through email, and messengers. Well I discovered this and flipped out. We then decided to try and make it work. Well after 2 weeks of me putting in all the work, she was still very emotionally distant from me; acting the same way as before I discovered the affair. Well I suspected she was still talking to him, and I was right. I guess she felt so horrible for breaking my heart but since she was in love with him, felt bad for breaking his heart also. She emailed him to make sure that he was doing ok, and that’s how they started talking again. Well, after I found out about this I was furious. I told her it was over and that I never wanted to see her again. I also said some very horrible things to her, some things that I am not proud of. But I know it was the anger talking. Anyway after the dust settled I realized that I still didn’t want to lose her. I love her way to much. So I took some personal time and went home to visit some family. After a couple of days she called me and told me she loved me and wanted to be with me. She ended it with the guy for the second time and told him that we were gonna work on us. So I came home. We made up, made love, and had a great couple of days where things seemed to be getting better. She finally started to give me the things I was constantly nagging her about. But that only lasted for 3 days. You see ever since I first found out I had to constantly tell her that I needed reassurances, and for her to show me love and affection. I needed to be convinced that she loved me and wanted to be with me. I need to be needed and appreciated. I was very insecure and still am. You were very right when you said that I have very low self esteem right now. I always thought I was this great husband. For almost 7 years we have never had any problems. We never argued, and I always treated her like a queen, and vice versa. She used to brag about me to all of her friends about how great I was. Everyone was so jealous of our relationship and the way I treated her. But anyways she wasn’t trying very hard to make me happy. I was actually fighting for her, and I wasn’t even the one that was unfaithful. I finally got fed up with all the B.S. and told her I think it would be best if she left. So she did, and assumed that our marriage was over so started talking to him again. I immediately regretted telling her to leave. The next day I told her I was sorry for that, and asked her to come home. I told her that I loved her and never wanted to be without her. She said that she wasn’t ready to come back yet and stayed away for about a week. This is when she finally had the courage to tell me that she wasn’t in love with me anymore. One thing worth mentioning is we have always been dependent on each other. She needed me in her life and I needed her. So while she was gone she also discovered that she COULD make it on her own as a single mother and that she didn’t NEED a man in her life. She became much more independent. I guess this is a good thing for her but it doesn’t make me feel good about myself. I am the type of person that needs to be needed. It makes me feel special that someone needs me. So she finally came home and told me that she is really ready to try to fix our marriage, and broke it off for hopefully the last time with the other guy. I do think that it is over between them now. I now have the challenge of getting her to fall in love with me. It is very hard because she sees all of my negative qualities and flaws. These things are on the surface and when she looks at me, this is what she sees. On the other hand, this other guy is superman. She sees no negative qualities in him, and doesn’t see his flaws. Which is why she fell out of love with me, and in love with him. I have to replace all the negative thoughts about me with positive ones. As far as “What she wants,” I don’t really know. I think she wants our marriage to work, I just don’t think she believes it can. She gave up from the beginning which is why she wasn’t trying very hard. I know this will be a slow process, but I am very determined to win her back. Anyways, I’m sorry for rambling, but it does help to talk about it. What do you think?
I am not going to go much into detail regarding the relationship itself beccause I think we have already addressed it. There is an area that we didn't go into that I would like to discuss upon.. trust. Adultery is a hell of a thing to overcome and conquer. To be honest with you, the problem isn't you, it's her. My husband committed adultery on me with someone he didn't even know upon meeting her and it went on for a year before I even knew it. I found out by investigating and contacting the woman myself and she told everything. IF a person hasn't changed completely, they will do it again. I SEE your rambling as unresolved issues with yourself and issues of confussion for taking her back so soon. I did the same thing and the problem with it was that he kept doing it until I finally stopped all communications, divorced him and had no contact with him for 2 years. He is now a Deacon, and has completely changed his life and decided to love me back and fall in love with me again, as I did towards him too. It is a slow process.
You 2 have more issues going on extending past communication factors and it isn't going to happen overnight. She fell out of love before you knew it. If a person is in love they will not commit adultery or even deal with the opposite sex period. I do not believe in opposite sex friendships because BS always comes out of it unless someone is gay. So, don't think she fell out of love when she started seeing this other man, it was before then which lead her to act upon it. If she is so easy to fall in and out of love changed are she will do it again but with someone different.Now, what if he weren't leaving the states, would she want to be with you and be faithful to you? Your honest opinion. Always be honest to yourself so that you know what to do and provide peace within yourself.I am encouraging you to stop focusing on potential and could be's of your marriage and focus on what it is period.. You know what the deal is and you are in some type of denial.. why? Love does not hurt. Love isn't deceitful or manipulitive. It is faithful and understanding.
Yes, he has flaws, you have flaws, she has flaws and so do I. No one is perfect and if they claim to be, they are liars. There is a book called when your lover doesn't love you back. I went through so much crap in my marriage trying to save it before I realized I was losing myself. You must rise above all of this and get busy. If you invite her out and she says no, go somewhere by yourself to think and meditate. Cry if you need to, but don't let her see you at a weak point because she is already thinking you are weak for taking her back so soon.
She knows you have self esteem issues and is going to play that to her advantage. I used to be her at a point of my life. I was married before and I did the same thing to him all the time.. I finally ended up divorcing him for the love of my life and highschool sweetheart, who hurt me for over 18 years of my life. The grass isn't greener on the other side, and it takes women a hard bump on the ass the realize that. I don't trust my husband completely as I should now, but I am trying hard and he is too. It is a life long process and if she isn't willing to put in the work, what do you have to work on? How does she feel about you? NOT your assets, or what you can do for her, but YOU period??
WHAT SENSE does it make to think you have to win your WIFE back. She isn't your girlfriend, but acts like a girlfriend and not a wife. How long are you going to be walked on and over? seriously.. I commend you for working your marriage out and I encourage it but NOT at your expense only. You aren't married to yourself.
I can say start at the beginning, but if she is already at the finish line, there is no beginning. What is she saying? What are her signals and what are you doing with her signals and words? My X husband was like you and it got to the point that he pushed me away due to his consistency and I wanted no contact with him. I eventually divorced him without realizing that I was leaving him for a man who would dog me with ANY woman, beat me, lie to me, use me, not help me with the kids, or anything.... he didn't want me but didn't want me to have anyone else. Are you in this type of situation? If so the hell with that.. Be happy... Forget the negative qualities she sees, what do you see? Are there things you can change, if so, what are they? Listen,Superman is in a wheelchair, so what does that tell you? If she sees him as superman and thinks he is so much better than you, let her have him and see how he really is. He messed around with a married woman, so that tells me what type of person he is already! He has no morals. She may need to find that out for herself. Sometimes, you must let something go in order to come back to you (but you accept on your terms, time frames, and conditions).
Stop blaming yourself because of her jacked up decisions to commit adultery... she did it because she wanted to do it. If she isn't taking that responsibility of her wrong actions, decisions, thoughts and choices, I would question if I wanted to be in that marriage. She has to deal with that choice, not you or your children.
You seem like a nice, caring, strong man who is allowing a woman and her selfish actions make him weak.Claim who you are back as a person, most importantly as a man. You are a man! Ask her what she wants, don't drag it out and then before you know it you are married for 20 years and not happy and still being cheated on! Do you think it's worth it just to say you are married. If God sends you a wife, she isn't going to do BS like that because it is not of God. Do you two go to church? Do you pray together? Spend time together. I am sorry this is so long but it is important and I want you to know it. Marriage consists of the following realms: Physical, Mental, Communicational, Spiritual, Emotional and Sexual. If there is a gap in any one area, without God in the center, your marriage has failed. Where are you two in your marriage? Do you lack any of these areas? These are basic building points.
I bought a penis shaped pasta for my boyfriend to cook for him when he comes back from vacation. I told my guy friend about it and he said that my boyfriend wouldn't eat it. Would he eat it or would he freak out?
Nah, He isn't going to eat it and yes, he is going to freak out.. cute idea though but not cute timing sis.. Put your pasta up and save it for a girl's night...
Hey thanks for the advice. But I also have a few more questions I would like to ask, and since you've been there maybe you can help. This is a very very long story, so I will give you a brief summary of what has happened so far. We’ve been married almost 6 years now. Everything was going perfect until about 2 months ago. After our child the spark started to go away, and she also started to dislike some of my qualities. For instance, not helping out as much with our child, and not showing her enough attention, etc. This really was starting to bother her, and the little things she wished I was doing started to add up. She then had an emotional affair with a guy at work. It escalated to a physical attraction, which lead to some fooling around. As far as she says, they never slept together, but it got pretty close. I believe her. Anyways, she fell in love with him. I discovered the affair only about 2 weeks into it; partly because I can read my wife like a book. Ever since then we have been having problems. I told her I realized that I made some mistakes, and I told her that I still love her more than words can describe and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work. She finally came clean and told me that she was no longer “in love” with me. And for a month and a half I have been trying so hard to make this work. I have been doing all the things she wished I was doing. Asking her to lunch, cleaning, cooking her dinner, helping out with our daughter, and so on. I actually went above and beyond. She on the other hand hasn’t been trying to make it work. I think she gave up because she doesn’t believe we can ever get better. She doesn’t have faith. She left this last week to clear her head to try and figure out what she wanted. She came home the other day and told me that she wanted to make it work, even though I know she’s not 100% sure. She has been fighting this decision ever since the affair. I’ll say that we have almost broken up several times since then. I have also been maybe a little too aggressive. Constantly talking about it, and being very desperate, which ultimately pushed her further away. I couldn’t help it though. I love her so much and I don’t want to lose her. I tried to change, I actually did, but she feels that I’m forcing it so it’s not helping. You said to start going on dates and being more romantic. But I have tried that, and it’s still not getting through. I think a big part of that is because she never really thought it could work. She gave up. Now the situation is, she moved back and told me she is ready to try. I now have to make her fall in love with me again. I believe this is very possible, and I also believe IF we get through this, we will be better and stronger in the long run. I just don’t know how. People say to become the man that she originally fell in love with, but that was 7 years ago, and I don’t know how I differ now from the man I was. I don’t feel different. I still love her the same, if not more. You said to do the opposite of what pushed her away to pull her closer to you. Well, I have been trying that, but it hasn’t worked so far. Do I just keep at it? I know I can’t make someone fall in love with me, but she was once before, so I’m not giving up. I don’t want to lose her. Any advice?
Yes, I do have some advice and it is going to be straight different than you would expect. You have stated that you have been trying and she has been basically rejecting you. Now, since that is the case, here is the suggestion that I have. You don't sound like you have much confidence in yourself. I get a vibe as if you have low self esteem. I have been through adultery before and that doesn't help with either area. So,you must take control over your marriage. How? Prepare dinner (a late one when the kids are sleep) light some candles, and tell her what you want. Take charge and ask her what she wants. If someone tells you they want their marriage then they are going to meet you half way, and accept you and your efforts while making them too. IF SHE STILL ACTS LIKE SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU OR THIS MARRIAGE: Do not allow yourself to be used. Seriously.. I wasn't aware that you had been trying so hard. It flat out pisses me off to know that you have been trying and getting ignored or played to the left so to speak - I have been there too on both sides of it, and it hurts. Make this a point to be your VERY LAST effort. I understand that you don't want to lose her but if she wants you to get lost, it's time. You can lead a horse to water but you can not force it to drink.
At dinner, let her talk too and listen closely to what she is saying verbally and her body language too so that you know where it is all heading. I encourage the both of you go to marrital counseling. Also I am recommending 2 books (female and male version) called the 5 languages of love. These are spiritual marrital counseling books that helped my husband and I so much.
For some reason, when women have kids, we feel the attention shift and causes us to feel unwanted or unneeded by the man. We require so much attention, and love more than men actually because we are such gentle creatures.. sounds weak but it's true... You may have slacked in some areas (cleaning, cooking, making love, walks, talks, expressions of love beyond verbal), and you have to rekindle this and connect with your wife. Are you sure that this affair thing is over with? Sometimes women look out of the corner of our eyes because we know what we have done. Let her know that she can trust you and that you aren't on some revenge tip... ASK her what her needs are, and if you can provide them do it, if you can't provide them, say it... do you guys have a median or is it her way or the highway (vice versa)?? There has to be some common mutual ground for both of you so that you will meet up in the middle. It seems like you guys have passed eachother up so you BOTH must turn around and meet up in the middle unless she wants to keep on pushin' up the road. I know what you want, but what does she want? Let's start there first...
So i have this really good friend billy.. and hes really really nice and all. But he has a lot of flaws and doesnt know how to fix em. He hooks up with like at LEAST 2 girls per day because he loves the sex and he knows its wrong and he knows that he chooses this. Hes very strong Christian as am i. But I keep thinking that when ever me and him hang out something is always wrong and he just wont be straight about it. He has had a lot of crap in his life... hes been raped a couple of times, taken, hes seen his friend get shot before, he use to do drugs, use to be in a gang... but hes all better now and hes turning to God. The only problem is he loves the sex. And he has so much crap going on in his life that he can't even look at himself in the mirror if he knows that one of his friends is unhappy. Because he feels that its his job to make them happy even though hes unhappy. I don't know what to tell him. He opened up to me the other and he cried about it. he cant live on the rest of the day knowing that something is wrong with one of his friends. But yet he cant even take care of himself what on earth should i do? because i hate seeing him beat himself up so much?
Your friend wants to fix everyone else's problems because he had no control over his problems. This is understandable and does require support and encouragement from you as his friend.
One, I encourage him to seek counseling for the things he has been through and seen in his life. Right now he is being displacement. He is taking the feelings he has regarding himself and putting them off towards others' for emotional release. He isn't really crying because of his friends, he is crying because he is still hurting on the inside of himself. God does heal all and so does time. I commend him for turning to God. I had to also turn to God because I went through the same thing too when I was younger.. The exact same thing. He has to learn to first love himself and forgive himself for beating himself up so much for something he had no control over. He can't take care of himself because he hasn't found himself and I am not sure that he wants to find himself out of fear of what he thinks he may find. The both of you should get involved with some community organizations to help people who need help. While helping others who need help(shelters, boys and girls homes, outreach programs), it will allow him to help others while also helping himself. When someone takes something so precious from a person by way of rape, it is important to give back to yourself and others. He is turning to sex as an outlet due to the rape. Most people who have been raped or abused, turn to the streets or being permiscious as a result of the hurt. If he stays busy there is no time for sex. He thinks sex takes his mind off of it when the truth is that sex with different females on the regular opens the door to STD's or even aids. Talk to him, let him know you are there for him and that sex is not the answer. Make suggestions of what you two can do to spend time together making a difference in your community. Encourage him to -stand up, stand out and stand above, don't lay down or settle for less or punish himself because of what someone else did to him. Just because they are sick doesn't mean he has to be sick by acquiring a sexual addiction. You feel me?? Good Luck and God is in control just let him lead you.
So I've been "best friends" with this girl for about like 3 years now. She's SUPER clingy to me. She always needs to know where I am and who I'm with if I'm not hanging out with her. If I tell her I can't hang out with her, she'll ask why, who are you with? Anyways, she and I and another girl are all BFF's. But this girl who's super clingy, let's call her Jane. She's always talking crap about the other girl,(let's call her Sara). Jane always vents to me about Sara and how much she hates her, and yet Jane is so nice, but it's all fake to Sara's face. And Sara and I are closer, so I tell Sara what Jane says about her.
As of right now, I don't want to hang out with Jane anymore. She tells me that she hates all the people in the group that we hang out with and she can't stand any of them. She's ALWAYS fake with them if she sees them, and she's always clinging onto me. I'm so sick of her crap. She brings drama to my life. And she's so dramatic, it's sick. I mean, I don't want to be mean and delete her out of my life. But what should I do?
The thing is, if I sit down and talk to her about it, she'll be like "oh i'm sorry." And then she'll talk behind my back with someone else. Which I know she does.
What should I do?
WOW,sounds like drama... One, do not go back and tell someone what someone else has said about them. It puts you in the middle of the bull crap. If Jane has something to say to Sarah then tell Jane to keep out of that silly mess and tell Sarah herself. Be real with Jane and let her know that you two are on different pages in life and that she is still off that talking about people stuff and that you aren't with it and want no parts of it. Also, if she talks about her, she will talk about you too but don't sweat all that.. People talked about Jesus so of course they will talk about you and me too for real.
When you sit down with her don't focus on what she has done to make you not want to be friends with her anymore. Focus on the fact that you just don't want to be friends with her based on your own observations, concerns and the person you are. You aren't 2 faced and you don't want to be cool with someone who is fake and 2 faced. Let her know that she is suffocating you and that you are done dealing with it and that you owe her no explanation of who you are kicking it with because it is none of her business and advise her to get some business instead of being in everyone else's business when talking about them. That's real, to the point and that's what up girl..
ALWAYS KEEP IT REAL.. Good Luck
This happened to me while I was on the Depo Provera birth control shot. So, I was getting positive AND negative home pregnancy tests and I decided to go to the doctor. So, maybe like three weeks or so after I had the last home pregnancy test (it was positive and so was the one before it but before those two ALL of the other ones were negative) I saw the doctor and had some pregnancy tests done there. The thing is, that pregnancy test turned out to be negative!
I've been off of the depo shot for about two months now and I'm getting very faint positives when I take home pregnancy tests, but the thing is that I don't want to go BACK to the doctor with my hopes up and be let down again.
What causes false positives? I mean, obviously my home pregnancy tests showed positive when I wasn't pregnant, right?
I'm 24 and have a 9 month old, and I've been getting that particular "feeling" you get when you're pregnant. There's no way to describe it other than it is just being a weird feeling.
I've also gotten pregnant on birth control twice now. Once when I was 19 (had a horrible miscarriage) and again with my son. So, needless to say, I'm fertile and am paranoid about getting pregnant again and losing the baby.
Are there any doctors here that might have answers to my pregnancy problem? Mine couldn't muster up any reasons as to why I got false positives. I'm not sure I'm ready to go through all their tests again just to be told "Nope, not pregnant, sorry!"
I'm just confused...am I pregnant or not?!?!
Pregnacy test after having a baby can be tricky because of the hormone HCG. You will still have this hormone in you to reflect as positive. You could be pregnant but the sure way of determing this is a blood test from the doctor. Also, your mind can control how your body reacts and responds because you want to be pregnant. I am not a doctor, but I have gone through the same thing.
The only thing to do is go through all the test and hear nope you're not pregnant in order to keep trying. "smile"
Good Luck
I recently discovered that my wife isn’t in love with me anymore. She hasn’t left me, but it’s come pretty close. I know that after we had our child, that the spark hasn’t been there. Our focus has become our child and our careers. I also know that I have made some mistakes in our marriage. But I do believe that I am a good man, and a good husband. She doesn’t have high hopes that we can ever get back what we used to have, but I do believe we can get through this. I love my wife more than words can describe and I just want to win her heart back. Has anyone gone through this and succeeded? Can anyone give me advice on how to make her fall back in love with me?
Yes, I have been through this and as a matter of fact several of times with the same man for over 18 years now. Truth is everyone falls in and out of love, so it's natural and isn't a sign that things are good or bad. Instead it's a sign that work needs to be done. Children do take away from intimacy. We as women sometimes need to know that we are appreciated by actions and not words. Flowers, cards, love notes, poems. The things done to get us are the things needed to be done to keep us. This goes both ways of course. She needs to let you know that you are appreciated too. My suggestion is a weekend get away with no children. Somewhere that you will need to drive to in order to have conversation on the road (with some nice music, Sade, Maxwell,) and talk about how you feel about her, what your dreams and goals are and that she is included. Get your connection back.
My x husband and I divoreced in 2005, and remarried November of last year. It's hard but God is the center of your marriage. I am not sure if you are religious or not, but I am and I know of God's miracles. It is important to have compatibility and not competibility. It is a requirement to grow together and not separately. Write down when you started growing apart, and why. once you have done this, do a serious self evaluation to determine if something has pushed your wife away from you in order to do the opposite to pull her closer to you.
Good luck and best wishes to your family.
i need some good rap with a lot of bass , and of course a good beat to dance to . thanks in advance
Everyone has different taste in music and rap styles. So, what I like you may not like. here's my suggestion: Go to Lastfm.com... type in rap music as the genre and just listen to different songs and listen to other people's music lists. This way you can hear what you like and take it from there. Here are a few rap artists that I like: Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown, Goodie Mob, Outkast, T.I., Snoop Dog, Scarface and MJG and 8 ball..
alright so i have this friend i guess and he always wants to hang out and i honestly don't want to hang out with him. he's really annoying and clingy. i don't respond to his texts and he still texts me like everyday asking to hang out! like he doesn't get the message, then after a week if i don't text him back he says "are u mad at me?" so i feel bad and say no. and i always make excuses to not hang out but i really just don't want to. i feel bad and i feel like a bitch but this kid says he's my best friend but i really don't want to be...what should i do? like i don't want him to hate me, i just want him to leave me alone and just talk in school.
I just had the same problem as an adult! I have found that being straight up and honest is the realest thing you can do for yourself and him. Just let him know that he is crowding you and that you don't like it. Tell him that you don't want to talk or text everyday and that you need some space. Tell him that he is clingy which means that he is needy and that you don't think it's fair for him to place the responsibility of filling a void upon you because you can't do it, you've got too much going on. Make sure to tell him he's nice, cool and definitely one of your friends and that he always will be, but you need some space and don't want to be considered as his best friend..Let him know that you will call him as time allows, or that you just don't want to be friends outside of school. you can IM him if you don't want to say it directly to him. I would say it directly, but it's upto you. The main point is that you say it and get some peace because I know everytime he calls or sends a text you are like " Damn it!" I know I was.
Good Luck. If that doesn't work, change the phone number.
Hey im 18/f Im torn between two really great guys. This may be kinda long but i rate high! So my current boyfriend matt hes 21 and i really like him we've been dating for about 6 months and the relationship was going sooo great in the beginning and now its slowing down and not so exciting which i understand relationships are like that! We also started noticing we're starting to fight with each other. The other guy is 18 and hes one of the guys i went to school with. We've always had a thing but never really acted on it. Hes so nice and hes in the military which kinda stinks because he told me he was going to get deployed in 2010 he was told. The only bad thing about that situation is that hes going to be gone for a while =( they're both such nice guys but im kinda torn between the 2 of them. Also my family and i are taking my current bf to chicago with us. I just really dont know what to do! My feelings for my current boyfriend are wearing off and im having new feelings for the other guy. Im so confused and im not sure what to do! Please help! Remember i rate high! thanks a bunch!
Hey Girl, seems kinda jacked up and I can see how you are torn. I would first talk to the guy you're going with, and tell him that you feel like you 2 are drifting apart from each other and tell him why. Ask him if he feels the same way? listen to what he says without interrupting him. Tell him that you are open to seeing other people if he is - which means that you two will be only friends... he can see other people and so can you. At this time, check the other guy out, see what he's about and how you bond with him. Keep in mind that new flings or new relationships send wrong connection vibes only because it's something new and just like your vibe is wearing off with your current man, it could do the same with the new guy too.. Don't get all serious with him and don't be as serious with your current man either. Take time for you to really sort out your feelings and wants for your life. Yeah, he is going off to the military, but you will be going off to college soon yourself as any other guy you date (most likely),so it's all good. You can still be cool and date (without upping the goods), until you determine what you want from actual actions and not mental thoughts.. you feel me? Good luck Sistah and always be true to yourself.
Well I like this guy... Lets call him Tyler. I've been talking to him about 2 months ago every day and then it kinda stopped.. and well, he isn't really a good conversation starter. He usually responds like "lol, yeah. haha. " You know what I mean? Then a month ago we were talking about some "dirty things" but it was all a joke. Then it stopped. And when we did talk, we would talk for soo long. Around 2-4 hours? Haha. Then yesterday we had this deep conversation and it was kind of random topics but he was saying how he doesn't want to have a relationship until 2 years later. And some stuff about his life and things like that. But about the relationship thing... He said he doesn't like them because people always spread it everywhere and stuff and it gets pretty annoying. Well, I did agree with him. But see, the problem is that I don't want to have like those "going out dates" kind of relationship. I just like this, "yeah we like eachother" and just talk and stuff. But recently, there was this rumour that spread a bit that I liked him (I dont know whether or not they spread it as a joke or did they really know) and then we were discussing about who might have started it and stuff. But he never actually asked me if the rumour was true or not. And since school ended, it may be a bit easier to talk to him through msn? The problem is that those little "msn talks" are kind of annoying since you can't really talk in real life. Well that isn't a big problem for now... But I just don't know if I should tell him that I like him. And if I do tell him, how should I actually tell him? Im just pretty confuesed. :P Thanks ! (:
Look, a closed mouth doesn't get fed. You feel me? Yes, you should tell him that you like him and have an interest in him. Don't focus on the rumor because it's not relevant. If you ever want to say something to someone, say it don't let others do it for you (rumor form), because they don't know the realness of your crush, but you do. Just call him up and ask him to meet you somewhere, like a park or something.. when you get there, come straight up with him.. just say this: I like you. I have been liking you since (however long), and I know you said you don't like relationships, so we can take it slow.I don't mean that we have to rush anything but I would like to work towards having a relationship NOT a friendship with benefits thing.. see what he says and take it from there girl!
Good Luck... and keep it real.
Well I was with this guy for a few months. We then just stopped talking in around January? And I had a feeling that he wanted to break up with me. See what I don't get it that he didn't say anything. He started avoiding me and going opposite directions I was going. If I was talking to one of his friends he would walk away quickly. Cover his face, etc. So then one day, me and my friend started talking about how he is kinda too "emotional" (This was before she knew we kinda broke up) and then we kinda were talking to him about how he should kinda tough up and stuff. But I doubt he took it seriously. So a month or two later, I apologized (Even though I did nothing and I hate holding grudges though I was never mad at him and I don't want anyone hating on me...)and he didn't even apologize... And when I apologized I meant if we could be friends. But then I didn't say anything more. After that, I figured maybe we could start talking just like regular friends. But nope, he still avoids me , etc. So then maybe a month later, I said if we could just be friends and stuff... And he was just like "sure...". BUT he still avoids me and everything. And I really dont get it. I don't want this to happen for like years. He's been doing this to me for like what. Half a year? And I'm sick of always apologizing because he doesn't even. It's like as if I was supposed to apologize to him. So any advice how this whole avoiding this could stop? Cause I never do avoid or anything like that. Much thanks !
Leave him alone. He is avoiding you and ignoring you and playing you like you are simple minded. You have no reason to apologize to him. You can't apologize for his actions towards you, but do apologize to yourself for continuing to stretch your hand out as he smacks it! No, I don't think he's mean, I think he is a coward for not saying what's up and really going on. Cancel that!!
After 6 months of continuing to be childish and silly acting, I don't think you should ask him jackcrap seriously. People always encourage words, but I encourage action. His actions reflect he doesn't want to deal with you period, so accept it and decide not to deal with him either. "Now, let your actions reflect that you aren't going to kiss his butt" If you keep trying to talk to him, or pay him some attention it looks like you are sweating him and real talk- SWEAT none but yourself.. Good Luck, stay positive and away from negative energy.
16/f, boyfriend is 17/m.
he's in this backyard wrestling federation, and i'll admit, he is VERY good at what he does. we live in Indiana, and he's been to Illinois, Ohio, Michigan, Tennessee, and Wisconsin to wrestle. in a week he's going to Pittsburgh to be in some other federation's show.
all things aside, he likes himself more than he likes me. his ego is..huge. he's cocky, yet confident, he's good at everything he does, and he knows it. i know he likes me, a lot a lot, but i don't like the fact that he puts himself before me. we've been together for almost two months, and it just hit me a few days ago. we were in his room, getting ready to go out on a date. i was looking in the mirror to see if i looked okay, and he said "Daaayum". thinking he was talking about me, i laughed and said "you like?". i turned around to see himself admiring his arms, not me.
i don't know what to do. do i fall into his shadow and appreciate that he's even with me, or what?
please help/
Hell No you don't fall in anyone's shadow girl! He should appreciate that he is with you, just as you appreciate that you are with him. If not,then someone is being taken for granted.
Check this out, I knew a man who thought the sun rose and set on him only. I thought he would change, after years of dealing with his selfishness,self centered, thinking he looked better than me, over confident, arrogant,cocky butt, I realized this, I was losing who I was because I was falling in his shadow... you can stay with him if you like, however you must change self to an image that you like and appreciate. Once you do that, you will end up leaving him because you will begin to see more and know yourself more. This weekend girl, do you! what I mean by that is go and get you an outfit, change your hair style up, think of something that you want to do or somewhere you want to go, ask him out. Go out and have some fun (only what you want to do). It's give and take. Have a conversation with him and tell him straight up how you feel and that you do not like it. See how that goes and take it from there. If that conversation doesn't go well, arrange a second plan for later on with some of your girls and go somewhere and kick it. Don't answer any of his calls until his voice mail reflects a different attitude and HUMBLENESS, not cockiness. This will either make or break your relationship.
im 13 years old i need help because i went out with a girl and we dated for a little while we were friends before we went out but then when we broke up things were not the same i kept wanting to be her friend and she did too but then one dayshe suddenly
stoped talking to me. i want to be her friend but she does not return any of my textmessages what should i do?
I am sorry for your break-up and the fact that she is ignoring you. First, you have to understand that you can not force anyone to talk to you. If she doesn't want to talk to you then let it be..sit back, and wait. Normally when you ignore someone they want to talk to you more. If you stop calling and/or texting, she just may call or text you. If she doesn't, then she doesn't want to be your friend. You are 13 and have much time for relationships and friendships.. if you two don't work it out or become friends, you will look back on this and laugh about it.I encourage you to learn from this experience and use it for the rest of your life.. the lesson is this: Don't keep contacting a person who doesn't want to be contacted or doesn't wish to contact you back. It leads to future issues as you grow up and I know you aren't going to be a stalker or someone who harrasses people, ending up in court. "smile"
Good luck dearheart, keep your head up and keep it movin' baby! The world is yours...
im 13 years old i need help because i went out with a girl and we dated for a little while we were friends before we went out but then when we broke up things were not the same i kept wanting to be her friend and she did too but then one dayshe suddenly
stoped talking to me. i want to be her friend but she does not return any of my textmessages what should i do?
I am sorry for your break-up and the fact that she is ignoring you. First, you have to understand that you can not force anyone to talk to you. If she doesn't want to talk to you then let it be..sit back, and wait. Normally when you ignore someone they want to talk to you more. If you stop calling and/or texting, she just may call or text you. If she doesn't, then she doesn't want to be your friend. You are 13 and have much time for relationships and friendships.. if you two don't work it out or become friends, you will look back on this and laugh about it.I encourage you to learn from this experience and use it for the rest of your life.. the lesson is this: Don't keep contacting a person who doesn't want to be contacted or doesn't wish to contact you back. It leads to future issues as you grow up and I know you aren't going to be a stalker or someone who harrasses people, ending up in court. "smile"
Good luck dearheart, keep your head up and keep it movin' baby! The world is yours...
I am in a relationship with a man who has been divorced 4 years. I have children, and so does he. We all have a good time. I really love this man, and we live together. His family thinks we are good together, and we both can see the long haul.
His ex hates me, and will do anything to keep me from being around her children. She blames me for the separation, wants me to go away. In three years I have seen her twice, but each time she has flipped out, caused a scene, and been really angry.
She punishes the kids if they are around me.
I think they just wish I would go away so everything would be simple.
I have known his kids for about two years, and we have a good relationship, but they really love their Daddy, and he is their hero.
She is fighting him in court, and her main goal is to get me out. If I weren't in his life, they would be fine. He wouldn't get back with her. But she would leave him alone and let him be happy, and the kids wouldn't get used in the middle as pawns. This woman will never accept me, and will fight with all she has to keep me out of her life, and in twently years, at the youngest's wedding, it will still be a problem. She once called my house and told my son that I better stay away from her husband or else she would have me "taken care of." I wonder if she would. She doesn't care about anyone's feelings, and emotionally abuses the man I love and his kids while I watch. I have tried to talk to her, but she just starts screaming I'm a "whore."
First, I don't really understand what the question is because no question was asked.
There are so many things going on here, and all of it is really chaotic. There are many things that you have left out which makes a response difficult without understanding the whole story. If you were seeing this man before they were divorced, then I can understand his ex wife's hurt and anger. If you weren't seeing him before they divorced then she needs counseling. The ones who are suffering most isn't her, you or him... it's the kids and they are the most important. If anyone tells you they are going to do something to you or "have you taken care of", prepare for it and handle this accordingly. Some people are all talk, but since she seems unstable with her mental, she just may attempt to do it. You don't know if they would get back together or not if you weren't in the picture, so never assume that, regardless of what a man says or claims.
This woman doesn't have to accept you, but she does have to respect you. It isn't for you to try talking to her either. It is his responsibility to talk to her, if you two have plans of marriage and being together. If they are already divorced (not separated),I don't know what she could be fighting him in court for.
If he is already divorced, visitation should be already arranged. Unless she can prove that you are a danger or threat to the kids, she can't prohibit you from being around the kids. Why not have a designated person (a family member of his), be responsible for having the kids dropped at their place, you and him go pick up the kids, and take them back to the same place and she can come and pick them up. If she doesn't want you on her property, she has that right. This should prevent interaction with the three of you. She can't care about anyone else's feelings or emotions because hers aren't sorted out for herself.
Regardless of if he is with you or someone else she is going to act uncivilized and childish, so again, it is on him to get his peace and respect. He only needs to communicate with her verbally regarding those kids and if they can't do that then he needs to check into some court appointed mediator. If she is harrassing, threatening and controlling your lives and the children's (beyond being a mother), take her ass to court and get that thing worked out because again, it is the children who are suffering the most not you two.
Good Luck, and remember this, a snake can not bite you unless you get close enough to it.
hi im a 15 year old girl, 5'9 big boned. i dont have much upper body strength though. where i live theres so much violence that i need to learn to fight. so how do i go about this? what do i need to do to build upper body strength and what else would i need to do to be able to fight? please dont tell me violence doesnt solve anything, because im in the hood, im not going out looking for it, but somehow i seem to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I Kickbox. I didn't learn it for violence, but I learned it for self defense, releasing of negative energy and for discipline. I also gained self control for doing it. It helps build upper and lower strengths. I encourage you to try it out and check into it.