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His ex is on a mission to out me (long)
I am in a relationship with a man who has been divorced 4 years. I have children, and so does he. We all have a good time. I really love this man, and we live together. His family thinks we are good together, and we both can see the long haul.
His ex hates me, and will do anything to keep me from being around her children. She blames me for the separation, wants me to go away. In three years I have seen her twice, but each time she has flipped out, caused a scene, and been really angry.
She punishes the kids if they are around me.
I think they just wish I would go away so everything would be simple.
I have known his kids for about two years, and we have a good relationship, but they really love their Daddy, and he is their hero.
She is fighting him in court, and her main goal is to get me out. If I weren't in his life, they would be fine. He wouldn't get back with her. But she would leave him alone and let him be happy, and the kids wouldn't get used in the middle as pawns. This woman will never accept me, and will fight with all she has to keep me out of her life, and in twently years, at the youngest's wedding, it will still be a problem. She once called my house and told my son that I better stay away from her husband or else she would have me "taken care of." I wonder if she would. She doesn't care about anyone's feelings, and emotionally abuses the man I love and his kids while I watch. I have tried to talk to her, but she just starts screaming I'm a "whore."
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First, I don't really understand what the question is because no question was asked.
There are so many things going on here, and all of it is really chaotic. There are many things that you have left out which makes a response difficult without understanding the whole story. If you were seeing this man before they were divorced, then I can understand his ex wife's hurt and anger. If you weren't seeing him before they divorced then she needs counseling. The ones who are suffering most isn't her, you or him... it's the kids and they are the most important. If anyone tells you they are going to do something to you or "have you taken care of", prepare for it and handle this accordingly. Some people are all talk, but since she seems unstable with her mental, she just may attempt to do it. You don't know if they would get back together or not if you weren't in the picture, so never assume that, regardless of what a man says or claims.
This woman doesn't have to accept you, but she does have to respect you. It isn't for you to try talking to her either. It is his responsibility to talk to her, if you two have plans of marriage and being together. If they are already divorced (not separated),I don't know what she could be fighting him in court for.
If he is already divorced, visitation should be already arranged. Unless she can prove that you are a danger or threat to the kids, she can't prohibit you from being around the kids. Why not have a designated person (a family member of his), be responsible for having the kids dropped at their place, you and him go pick up the kids, and take them back to the same place and she can come and pick them up. If she doesn't want you on her property, she has that right. This should prevent interaction with the three of you. She can't care about anyone else's feelings or emotions because hers aren't sorted out for herself.
Regardless of if he is with you or someone else she is going to act uncivilized and childish, so again, it is on him to get his peace and respect. He only needs to communicate with her verbally regarding those kids and if they can't do that then he needs to check into some court appointed mediator. If she is harrassing, threatening and controlling your lives and the children's (beyond being a mother), take her ass to court and get that thing worked out because again, it is the children who are suffering the most not you two.
Good Luck, and remember this, a snake can not bite you unless you get close enough to it.
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alright, this woman is nuts. you are probably not the reason they broke up, unless there are details I don't know about..... but look, y'all are happy together, except for this crazy ex. you're not the problem. she's going to act like this all the time, so you're just going to have to cope with this grown up child. best advice I can give you on this is what my stepdad gave me (similar situation with my dad), here's what he did. I dunno if you're into the whole god thing, but he'd just pray for my dad, even if it was one of those days where he'd had it with him and had slammed him into the wall by his neck. it doesn't have to be all daisied up, even if its "please god, give her what she deserves", it helps with keeping a little inner peace. and thats all that matters, is your serenity. some folks are like that, and its better just to accept the things you cannot change and cope with it, than remain constantly frustrated. she wins if you do that. everybody reaps what they sow, I've done some awful things in my life, I've eventually paid for them, and I'm pretty sure some of my deeds will eventually lead to a bitter fate somewhere on a soon forgotten battlefield. but I'm okay with that. She's going to get a hell of a shock when everything comes back at her.
Now as for her threatening shit like that, thats illegal, go to the cops. do not put it beyond the capabilities of this woman to do something crazy like that. and it'll surely help your spouse's court case against this lunatic.
good luck, don't give up, and no matter what she does, have the dignity to keep the moral upper hand.
-gunner
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