16/f, boyfriend is 17/m.
he's in this backyard wrestling federation, and i'll admit, he is VERY good at what he does. we live in Indiana, and he's been to Illinois, Ohio, Michigan, Tennessee, and Wisconsin to wrestle. in a week he's going to Pittsburgh to be in some other federation's show.
all things aside, he likes himself more than he likes me. his ego is..huge. he's cocky, yet confident, he's good at everything he does, and he knows it. i know he likes me, a lot a lot, but i don't like the fact that he puts himself before me. we've been together for almost two months, and it just hit me a few days ago. we were in his room, getting ready to go out on a date. i was looking in the mirror to see if i looked okay, and he said "Daaayum". thinking he was talking about me, i laughed and said "you like?". i turned around to see himself admiring his arms, not me.
i don't know what to do. do i fall into his shadow and appreciate that he's even with me, or what?
Because it doesn't sound like he's "with" anyone but himself. Thats a ridiculous gas bag of an ego there.
Narcicism is a severe flaw. Everyone has their issues, self love is just his specific issue.
Heres the thing. Do you know how guys mature out of this phase and stop themselves? They get rejected because of it.
Is it possible he'll be able to turn the heads of fifty girls if you walked away, and get another girlfriend the next day? Sure. Is she going to be any happier than you are now? Probably not.
Self love to the level that he displays should be a dealbreaker. Everyone looks at themselves in a mirror, but he's got attention seeking behavior. He wants to be admired for the amazing person he's so sure he is.
Thing is, he's 17. And he's an idiot. In a few years no one wil give a shit that he can wrestle. Maybe he'll go a little nuts and join UFC or something to prove his continued manhood. But other than the ability to get stupid women with low standards to sleep with him, his "wow" factor will disappear in less than three years.
When he thinks he's amazing and everyone else around him finds it too annoying to be around him and his room filling ego, he's going to get very bitter. Whoever he is dating will become the sole focus of his need for validation, and if she pushes for equality in the relationship it will result in a nuclear holocaust of emotional drama unlike anything you've ever seen.
Because he won't want to let go of the only person willing to feed his denial, but he won't want to let her act like a normal person who doesn't worship him. Get set for emotional manipulation.
This is almost formulaic. If you stay with him, you will validate his bullshit. He will not change, and you will slowly build yourself a storehouse of resentment that will make both of you miserable and destroy the relationship.
christina answered Friday June 12 2009, 12:19 pm: Break up with him. My last ex was like this, but with his car. He drove a Honda Civic so why he thought he was the shit was beyond me. He wasn't good looking, his car was too common for words, and he was annoying. "Omg, my car is so hot, oh man, look how nice my car is."
Good thing we only dated for a few weeks.
Your boyfriend is way too into himself, and you need someone new. There is no reason why your boyfriend should be more into himself than into you. You deserve some of the attention too. Honestly, break up. It's really annoying to have to go through that.
kristamikele answered Friday June 12 2009, 10:46 am: Every person should feel about themselves like your boyfriend, and he's only a jerk if he puts others down to bring himself up.
The mistake women make is giving up things in our life to surround themselves with their boyfriend's life.
What happened to all of your friends who were around before you knew him? If they are still there, it sounds like you're a lucky girl. If you don't really see them anymore, you need to start being yourself again, instead of just his girlfriend.
The good part is the more you hang out and do your own thing, the more he will appreciate who you are. [ kristamikele's advice column | Ask kristamikele A Question ]
venom_97 answered Friday June 12 2009, 8:57 am: Hell No you don't fall in anyone's shadow girl! He should appreciate that he is with you, just as you appreciate that you are with him. If not,then someone is being taken for granted.
Check this out, I knew a man who thought the sun rose and set on him only. I thought he would change, after years of dealing with his selfishness,self centered, thinking he looked better than me, over confident, arrogant,cocky butt, I realized this, I was losing who I was because I was falling in his shadow... you can stay with him if you like, however you must change self to an image that you like and appreciate. Once you do that, you will end up leaving him because you will begin to see more and know yourself more. This weekend girl, do you! what I mean by that is go and get you an outfit, change your hair style up, think of something that you want to do or somewhere you want to go, ask him out. Go out and have some fun (only what you want to do). It's give and take. Have a conversation with him and tell him straight up how you feel and that you do not like it. See how that goes and take it from there. If that conversation doesn't go well, arrange a second plan for later on with some of your girls and go somewhere and kick it. Don't answer any of his calls until his voice mail reflects a different attitude and HUMBLENESS, not cockiness. This will either make or break your relationship. [ venom_97's advice column | Ask venom_97 A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.