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stuck between the two.
ive been dating this guy on and off for about 9 months now and big problem he hurt me alot and hes a reall bad boy drugs sex alcohol. he played me with other girl.. not because hes a player just because of where he was raised and how his mom and dad werent really in his life so he felt lonely and depended on girls to fill that whole and not only one girl can satisfy him which kills me inside. because i love him so much i want to help him become a better person but what had happened was he had left me hanging after i lost my virginity to him and a week later he calls and he apologizes and now we're sort of together but he's opening up to me and he's actually seeing his wrong and changing attending school no more drugs out of the playing girls buisness.. but my family hates him and forbids me to see him. and he kills me up inside to split the 2 most important things apart. they would kill me if they knew i was with him again they hate him for hurting me and i have to lie to see him and it just eats me up inside... i love him but i love m family and im scared if i tell them about him they'll take away my freedom and take him away from me.. i just dont know what to do? should i just keep hiding him from my family..?
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I encourage you to let it go and find someone you don't have to lie about being with. There are a few names I could think of to call this guy but I won't do it. I will say this,I have been through this same thing and it hurts so bad and each time the hurt gets worst. There will be another time and more times after that. He isn't going to change until HE WANTS to change. You can't help a person change. If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.
He is a compulsive, habitual liar and you aren't the only one he is lying too. Bad guys look for good girls because we are the ones who are considered as easy, stupid, and gullible. Trust me. Don't allow your family to take him away from you. Love yourself enough to take yourself away from him before he takes the person you are.
The broken family thing: that must be a playa code or something. Every loser I have ever dated, married, dealt with used that same damn excuse when the truth is: I am selfish, I like hurting you and other girls because you all let me do it. Until he realizes what an ass he is, and becomes disgusted with himself, he isn't going to change. I knew a man who claimed change for 12 years and the only thing he changed was his sneakiness so that he wouldn't get caught!
He did whatever he need to do until he got it, after he got it, he left you hangin'.. he will do that to you as long as you choose to deal with it. It obviously bothers you as you posted your question. No, man or BOY is worth you lying to your family about. Your family loves YOU and wants what's best for you and your life. This Boy doesn't. He wants what he can get and you deserve and can do MUCH BETTER!!! Good Luck dear heart
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Jesus Christ you fell hook, line, and sinker.
I come from a profoundly broken family. The details aren't necessary to tell you that I am and always have been fairly alone in the world.
Lonliness doesn't create shit like "it takes more than one girl to satisfy it"
There is no such thing as a "need" for more than one person in a sexual relationship. Its a desire, and one he is apparently willing to lie to fulfill.
Its true that no one can have all their emotional needs satisfied by only one person. We're designed to be more social than that. But sex isn't a prerequisite.
Guys lie to get laid. This is a fact, any guy who claims he hasn't is lying yet again, or virginal. Some guys take this further than others, creating stories and personas to trick girls into thinking they are someone they are not.
Your family is right. Whatever this guy is, he's fucked up and not date-worthy. He's definitely damaged, but he's also chosen to be a selfish asshole and expects you to accept that.
I doubt you'll read this and feel like you've turned a corner. You're probably pissed off at me for telling you what a raging dishonest douchebag your boyfriend is.
But I want you to remember. Tomorrow. Next week. When you're calm.
Your boyfriend is using you. He is lying to your face to cover his cheating and even to garner forgiveness and pity. Its a great deal for him, he gets to fuck other girls, you try to take care of him out of sympathy, and you feel like shit for his situation so you don't want to leave him because you think you can help.
He's using your nurturing instinct against you.
A last thought, something to remember if you stay with him.
This girl will not be the last. There will be other lapses. Took him 9 months. It might take a few more months, it might take 6 years, but it will happen again.
If you stay with him, you'll end up just as damaged as he is, if not more. If you leave, it will hurt for a while, you'll get over it, and you'll hopefully find someone else who's worth your time and willing to treat you with the respect due a partner and an equal.
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