No, it's not considered cheating. If you're genuinely just friends, that's fine. If however, you do have romantic or sexual feelings for him, don't do it.

But if you are just friends, and you only think of him as a friend, it's fine.

If your boyfriend gets jealous of it, you need to explain to him that you're just friends and that there's nothing else to it.

I know most guy/girl friends are affectionate like that anyway. It's seen as normal and not an indicator of anything else but close friendship.

I think you should go for it. I know there's a possibility that he'll leave in 8 months, and I know that if you were in a relationship at the time, it would hurt.

But if you like each other, you should go for it. It's an experience and you never know how things are going to turn out. It's better to give it a go than to wonder what if.

Although it's rare to get breast cancer at 17, you should definitely see a doctor.

I was in a similar situation at 15, and I eventually went to a doctor, and it turned out to be nothing.

But it could be something, so it's really important that you see a doctor. It could be a cyst, or something else harmless - but they hurt so need to be taken care of.

And if in the rare case it is cancer, catching it early always increases your chances of getting rid of it.

I know it's scary, because you don't want to find out, if you know what I mean. But you should go.

Personally, I have lost that initial crush with boyfriends. But in my case, it's mostly because I'm a complete commitment-phobe. So I want the guy loads, until we're together and I freak out. It's not that the feelings are gone though.

It could be the same for you, though. If it is, try to work through the problem.

The initial crush thing does go for everyone though. When you first meet someone, it's crazy and lusty and you don't see any of their faults. As you spend more time with them, because it's not so new anymore, the rush goes, and as you learn more about them and notice their bad points, the excitement can go. But it doesn't mean the feelings are gone, it's just different.

It could be that way for you, or of course, you could just not have feelings for him anymore.

Stay with him for a bit longer, and try to shake things up and bit and introduce more excitement. If you still don't feel like you have any feelings, say you feel it's going to fast (or something along those lines) and can you take a break. If you do get that 'feeling of like' back, then stay with him.

If, when taking a break, you don't miss him or feel you want to be with, then yes you should end it. Because you shouldn't stay with someone just because you like hanging out with them. Maybe give it a while then try to be friends.

If, however, when taking a break you suddenly realise you do want to be with him, make sure it's not just a case of 'wanting it because you don't have it anymore', and if it isn't, suggest to him that you feel ready now.

Don't be hasty in ending it, because you need to work out why you're feeling this way. Do the above and you'll probably work it out, and figure out what your feelings for him are and whether you should stay together or not.

Hope I helped, x

Don't worry, the pads shouldn't come off in water. I use tampons now, but I used to use pads and go swimming in them.

BUT,

I only did it if my period was light, say the first day, or the last couple days. Because if not, when you're in the water a pad isn't enough to soak up the blood.

Also, only use a panty-liner because a full sanitary pad will be too visible underneath your costume.

I can't say it definitely won't come off, but from my experience, they never have. Just only do it when your period is light, and use a panty-liner rather than a sanitary pad.

You say you want to go have fun, and meet boys and stuff, maybe on any days when your period's too heavy and you can't go in the water, you could still hang around with them. Just say you don't feel like swimming that day, and you can still have a laugh. It would only be for a bit of the time, so wouldn't be too much trouble.

Hope I helped, x

I'm a teenage girl and I'm the same as you.

Trust me, almost all of my girl friends have questioned their sexuality at some point. I have friends that are bi, friends that have dabbled, friends that have fantasised. And almost all girls I know have kissed other girls.

I have often wondered to myself, 'Am I bi?'. I can't tell you whether you are or not. Sexuality is something that's very hard to define, it's not all black and white. I guess the definition of bisexual is equal sexual and romantic attraction towards both sexes, so the fact that you're not feeling the romantic attraction (by not wanting to date a girl) suggests that you're probably not bi, but you're probably not completely straight either.

You could start experimenting with girls and see how it makes you feel. But remember, you don't have to define your sexuality. It's fine to not be completely straight, bi or gay. Most people are somewhere inbetween. Also, remember you're a teenager, and as someone before me said, your hormones are going crazy so you never know how your feelings will change as you get older. It's something you can't be sure of right now, and you might never be, but that's fine. Just experiment and see what you enjoy, and then enjoy it.

And yes, it's all normal. I refer to myself as straight (although I don't consider myself completely straight) and I feel that way, and I know a lot of straight girls do. So don't worry about it.

Unless you find someone else to satisfy your needs, there isn'y anything but masturbation.

You say you don't want to do it, but why not? You might feel weird at first, but trust me, it's really normal, and can be great.

Just try experimenting with what your ex did, and see how it goes. It might take time, but you'll get the hang of it.

And remember, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's perfectly normal, and healthy.

I'm close to your age and am the same. I think it's quite a common problem for females. There are lots of possible reasons for it, and it all depends on who you are as a person. But I'll outline some possible reasons.

Low self-esteem can sometimes cause it. You might not feel worthy enough of anyone that treats you right, so you stick with people that don't.

You might be afraid of getting hurt. I say this, and I know what you're thinking - 'surely if I go for bad boys, I'm going to get hurt, so I can't be afraid of getting hurt'. Yes, you are going to get hurt, but with a bad boy or a player, you know you're going to get hurt. Even if you're in denial, deep down you know he's going to hurt you. But if you let someone in who seems like a genuine good guy, you won't expect him to hurt you, so it will be all the more painful if he does, and so you stay away from him. You don't want to get your expectations up and get hurt. I was listening to a song recently, which went, 'You know I'd love you if I knew you'd let me down', which I think is saying the same thing.

You might be afraid of getting close or of commitment. So you go for someone you know will let you down and therefore won't leave you in a committed relationship.

You might not think it, but a lot of us believe that we'll be the one to change him. Even if our rational mind is saying otherwise, somewhere inside, we hope that we'll be the one to change him. No one else will understand but it will be just us who sees the good in him. Know what I mean?

And of course, there are the much more shallow aspects. I'm not going to lie, I know this is one of the reasons for me and it could well be one of the reasons for you too. It looks cool to have a bad boy on your arm. Bad boys are fun and wild and dangerous. Everything's exciting with him. Let's face it, bad boys are sexy.

And then there are the simple reasons. Either the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em mean' way of a bad boy - he treats you mean and you keep coming back because you want to win him over in the end. Or the smooth-talking ways of a player - simple as this, players are good flirts. They'll make you feel special (when they're there, that is) and they'll put you under their spell.

Often, you feel privileged that a bad boy or player would pay any attention to you. Which is ironic, because they're probably 'paying attention to' all other half-decent girls in the vicinity, but it's often the way.

I've found that although their allure is hard to resist, the only boys that I've had really serious feelings for, the only boys where they've felt like my equal rather than an object of admiration, are guys that AREN'T bad boys or players. I think you need to try really hard to avoid bad boys and players, or just spend time with guys that make you happy. Whether they're friends or more, just spend time with them. Eventually, you'll meet someone who deserves you.

As for the guy you're seeing at the moment, maybe stick it out with him for a bit, but if you continue not to feel it, don't stay with him just because he's a nice guy. It's fine not to have feelings for him, just wait until you find a nice guy you do have feelings for. I know it seems impossible, but eventually you will meet that guy.

Hope I helped, x

I'm a teenage girl and I feel exactly the same way as you!
I know a lot of girls that are straight have admitted they wouldn't rule out sexual contact with a girl, but I don't know if they fantasise about it like I do.
I actually asked a similar question to this on here before actually. I'm the same, in that I'm sexually attracted to girls but wouldn't date or marry one.

When I asked, most girls replied saying that they had thought about sex with girls, and a lot of the time it turned them on, but they wouldn't want to do it in reality. I would, however. But, I think it's hard to put a label on these things. Being young, we're curious. Even if we're more than just curious, it's still hard to know whether to label ourselves as bisexual. I guess the definition of bisexual is feeling equal sexual and romantic attraction to both sexes, so you're probably somewhere inbetween straight and bisexual.

As to your question of, 'do most girls feel like this?', I can't know for sure. I know I do, and I think most girls will have thought about girls in that way, some probably fantasise about girls, some will find the idea of sex with girls disgusting. It's not all black and white. But yes, I think quite a lot of straight girls have sexual thoughts about girls, and some might want to make it reality. What that defines their sexuality as, I don't know. I claim to be straight, just because it's easier. I don't think of myself as bisexual. When it comes down to it, although I would like to have sex with a girl, I'm more interested in guys. I think a lot of girls claim they're straight because there's not an easy term to describe what they really are, and they don't want to have to explain it all.

So yes, more girls than you think probably feel the same way you do.

Wow. I am EXACTLY the same. It's kind of strange reading that, because I really am in the same position as you.

I'm the same age, and like you, used to have best friends, but somewhere along the way that just went out the window. I, too, have trouble getting close to people because everyone I've been close to has hurt me. I, too, have only had one serious relationship and that guy seriously hurt me. I, too, have no idea how to get close to people.

So, you need to know that you're not the only one like this. You're not alone. There's nothing wrong with you.

Being in the same position as you, I'm still working it out for myself. But I know that you need to stop blaming yourself. Your relationship with your dad has probably contributed to this, as has your relationship with your ex and all the other people you've been close to.

Like I said, I still havn't managed to work this out, but I think you've got to try and be open to the idea of being close and be yourself around people. You've got to try and have faith in people. Believe me, I know it's hard - when everyone you've been close to has hurt you, it's hard to believe that not everybody else will too. But you've got to try and have faith in people, know that not everyone will let you down. But be strong, too. If someone does let you down, don't take it personally and move on. Believe you will find someone who won't.

Find ways to meet new people, be open and yourself with them.

I'd really like it if we could talk in messages about this? Seeing as we both have the same problem, it might help to talk about it. Because believe me, I find it hard to follow my own advice. So if you want to, contact me by asking me a question?

Hope I helped, x

This is very common and I've suffered from this too. You might feel confident but as soon as you see other people who you think look better than you, that confidence goes. We all get it.

You need to pick out your good points. Your physical features, talents and personality traits. If you can't think of any, try to remember what compliments people have paid you.

When it comes to make-up and clothes, even if you try lots of new stuff, you can sometimes feel like you havn't found 'your style'. There's not much you can do except this: keep trying - read fashion magazines, create a lookbook of things you like, watch shows and identify which character's styles you like. Then, instead of just going shopping and picking up items, plan what you want to buy, and eventually you'll become more comfortable in your own style.

Exercising and eating healthily always helps you to feel good about yourself. Try to be positive.

BUT, the main thing that will help is this: (it may sound counter-productive at first, but trust me, it works)

With every girl you see/know (okay, not every single girl you see on the street, but say if you're in a class, the group of girls around you) look at them, and notice all the good things about them - about their looks, their talents and their personality. Although at first this may get you down, eventually you'll start to realise that all these girls have great traits yet they are all so different to each other. Remember your good traits whilst doing this and you'll realise that you're just as amazing as anyone else, you just all have different good points.

It's kind of hard to explain, but try it, it works.

Stay positive, act confident, remember you're amazing.

Sure, if you're not interested in doing those things right now. We're all different. Some 18-year-old girls might find it very hard not to be sexually active and masturbate, in which case, it might not be healthy if they didn't. But if you are fine with not being sexually active and not masturbating, then that's healthy.

Yeah they do, I get it too. I mean not being big-headed or anything, but I'm pretty enough and I have the same problems as you. Some girls think I'm stuck-up without trying to get to know me, and guys never take me seriously. It's like if you're attractive people don't see past it.

But, there's nothing you can do and I agree with the two comments below. Everybody gets judged. There are a hell of a lot of pretty girls out there who probably have the same problem, and there are lots of unattractive girls who get judged, people who get judged by their clothes, people who get judged because they're smart etc.

However you are, you're going to get judged. So just live with it, try to get to know people and get on with it. Also, at least the reason you get judged is a good one. Think about that. You could be worse. & don't worry about the relationship thing, I've only been in one proper relationship and I'm 16. I do think the fact that guys never take me seriously effects this, but not just that.

So yeah, stop worrying about it, ignore people judging you and try to get to know them. Once they get to know you, they'll stop judging you so much.

I have noticed that whenever I am completely happy being single, and not really thinking about guys at all, someone who I'm crazy about comes along. And I've heard a lot of other people say this too.

You shouldn't want a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend. Be happy being single, start doing things for yourself - find your style, be yourself, write down things you have always wanted to do and start doing them, have fun with your friends etc.

When you stop thinking about guys all the time and just have fun being single, you will probably meet someone. I know you may have heard this before and are just thinking, 'that's not true' or 'cliche', but trust me, that's what I thought until I met someone every time I stopped looking for someone.

Also, guys like girls who don't seem desperate for a boyfriend. Don't act try hard.

However, if there IS someone that you really like at the moment, and would like to be with, flirt with him and then ask him out yourself. Take control.

If you'd like any more advice on the subject or on anyone you're interested in, feel free to message me.

Yes, the mirror reverses the image, whereas the camera doesn't.

So technically the camera would be more truthfull, but then I think that in pictures it's a still image and people often look a lot different to how they look in real life.

I think the only way to really see what you look like is to watch yourself when you've been filmed (on a video camera, for example if you and your friends happened to filming a day out or something), that's what you really look like.

Sorry if this wasn't really answering your question, but I think it's debatable whether the mirror or camera is more accurate.

I highly doubt you're pregnant. If you were you wouldn't have had your period the next day.

If your period still hasn't come in a month's time and you're worrying, you could take a pregnancy test to put your mind at rest.

But I don't see how you could be pregnant seeing as you got your period the next day.

I think you should invite him, by doing this you will be taking control of the situation. Besides, if you don't invite him it may appear that you are trying to annoy him or rub his face in it on purpose, and could make matters worse.

However, I think you should call him and ask him to come round a bit before everyone else does, so you can talk. That way, you can talk and sort things out before everybody else comes, and the evening won't be awkward for anyone.

You don't need to worry or be insulted. This guy is bisexual, not gay. This means he likes both guys AND girls, so he probably likes you for different reasons than he would like a guy.

There is seriously no need to worry or change yourself because of this.

I don't think that is really your fault. You have been friendly with him and agreed to meet up with him, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Loads of people talk over the internet, get on well and meet up, and it doesn't mean they're more than friends.

You're not wrong to have done this and assumed he would just see it as a friendly thing. Even if you both referred to your meeting up as a date, most people wouldn't refer to themselves as a couple after one date.

However, now he does think you are together, and to carry on letting him think that WOULD be leading him on.

Explain to him that you just want to be friends. Don't say anything like, "because I've just got out of a bad relationship", because then he'll think he has a chance with you once he's waited a bit. Just quite clearly say, "I'm sorry, but I just want to be friends with you."

Yes, he might be upset, but it will be worse for both of you if you just carry on.

I guess what it means is, if life were always fair, everything would be too easy for us - we wouldn't grow or develop or learn to cope. We wouldn't be as strong people. Life would be less varied, and maybe less of an experience.

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