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November 14, 2004Answers:
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Hey guys my name's Erin, and I love helping people. I know how hard life can be at times, and sometimes you just need some adivse. That's what I'm here for. Whatever the question is, I'll be more than happy to answer it!
advice
hi, next month i have my first appointment for the gnyo, becuase im 15 and have had my period irregular since i starting getting it 4 years ago,so my mom made me an appt...so anyway my concern is that, a couple months ago my boyfirend and I of 9 months decided to take are relationship a little farther and he fingered me, quite intensly and has done it a couple times..(but I have never had sex, and dont plan on it anytime soon)I am worried that the gyno will tell my mom,(becuase i know the gyno will be able to tell,becuase i am quite stretched out from it) and i really dont think that my mom wants to hear "oh by the way your daughter has been fingered" and she will be quite dissapointed in me. If i ask should the gyno keep my information confidential?
since you're not 18, the doctors can tell your mom what's going on. but first of all, she will not be able to tell that you've been fingered just because you're stretched out. tampons can do the same thing. now i'm not sure what gynos tell parents of minors, if anything, but i'm pretty sure that if you tell her that you want to keep whatever goes on in there confidential, she'll agree to that. the only problem with that is that your gyno will need to talk to your mom about your irregular periods, because your mom has to take care of that because you can't yet. and i can pretty much gurantee that your gyno won't tell your mom that you've been fingered, if she can even tell. so i really wouldn't worry about it. if she brings it up, tell her you don't want your mom to know, but other than that i woudlnt worry. hope this helped and good luck!
okay. im still a virgin. but i think im ready to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year and 2 months. we have done nothing BUT kissing. and im so happy hes patient with me and doesnt push me to do anything i choose not too. but now i am ready BUT i want to go on birth conrol and use a condom just to be on the safe side. the thing is im not on the pill so what would be the best way to ask my parents to put me on the pill without them thinking imma have sex.? cuz they know im still a virgin and think imma stay one till marriage. which i was planning on doing, but i think im ready to lose it..and i've found that special one to lose it to
ok well first of all, you say you've done nothing but kiss. if that's really the case, i would suggest doing everything else before you have sex, to make sure you are 100% comfortable with the idea. if you still decide you are, then you could either tell your parents that you have really bad cramps, or that your period's been really irregular (but that's a tricky one because they can find out if your lying or not), or depending on how old you are, you can go to planned parenthood or your doctors office on your own and get a perscription for it w/out ur parents knowing. but you have to be 18 to do that. i hope this helped, and good luck
when i first moved in 3 years ago me and this guy joked around a lot. well now i'm in highschool and we have a class with each other. he's a junior and i'm a sophomore. so this weekend he came with me to my job and we kissed. well then here comes saturday and he came over to my house and we messed around a lot. and so then he wanted me to come over to his house. so i did. we had dry . well then on sunday my parents were gone for like 3 hours and he came over and we did it again. except this time we both really wanted to go full out. but we did. but ever since saturday the first day we did it dry, it really hurts down there. will that ever go away?
yes that will go away. if that was the first time you had ever done it with any guy, of course it will hurt. it's nothing to be worried about, and it should go away in a couple days.
okay here is the problem....i dumped my b/f 2 previous times. Now,he asked me back out and our group i hang out with was fighting(longgg story)and im like i do but i wanna wait until our group is all cool again..so now he thinks we are going out,and he is always hugging me and it pisses me off so bad and i dont know what to do...I am soo confused,please help me!
*crystal*
well, it seems like there's been a miscommunication between you and your bf. you need to talk to him and get your stories straight, and tell him that you don't want to date until your groups are cool again. but i do have a question for you. if you dumped him two times already, there must be something you don't like about him or the way he treats you or something. i would think hard about if you really want to get back together if you think it might just end up with you dumping him, yet again. but if you really do want to get back together with him, have an honest talk with him and tell him exactly what you told me, and things should work out fine. hope this helped, and good luck.
im not sure if im pregnant.. my boyfriend and i had sex last week.. and we were protected and all.. and "nothing came out of him" (thats what he said).. i've been having tender breasts lately. i'm not sure if he's lying about nothing happening or whatever, but maybe i'm just overreacting? someone help me!
if you were protected, then the chances are slim. the tender breasts could be from PMS, cause you said your getting your period soon, and that often happens before you get your period. also, if you stress about it, it could make your period late, so try not to stress. that happened to me a couple times, then when i finally relaxed i got my period and everything was fine. so just relax, i'm sure your fine. good luck.
I'm 13 and i have gone out with this boy i really liked him and he was my first boyfriend but he dump me and now i don't want to go out with anyone because i have losed my confidence and scared i'm going to be rejected
that's a very common feeling to have after breaking up with someone for the first time. but that's the risk you take when getting involved in relationships. you put yourself out there and risk getting hurt. don't lose confidence in yourself just because your boyfriend dumped you. all relationships end in breakups, unles you end up marrying them, but at your age that's not an issue. but you can't think of it that way-you have to take advantage of the time you had with ur bf, and then learn from it. if you convice yourself of that, you'll be fine. i hope this helped.
Hello. :)
14/F ~ My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now, and the other night he came over. We sat around and talked for a little while, but then he started to pull moves on me... It's not the first time or anything.. we started to make out then he put his hands up my shirt and down my pants..then we started making out more.. then he pulled me on top of him and we made out more. Is it wrong for me to let him put his hands in those places? I'm just wondering so I can tlel him weather he can again or not. Thank you :)
there's nothing wrong with him putting his hands in those places, as long as you're comfortable with it. if you're not comfortable with it, then tell him that you want to wait a little before you guys do more stuff besides make out because your not ready. he should respect your oppinion and wait until your ready. if you are comfortable with it, then there's nothing wrong with it! hope this helped.
i like this guy and he kinda likes me but all my friends say hes really bad and they call him pot head and stuff like that. but i dont think hes bad at all. i kissed him at the movies and every one was like eww and stuff like that. but i really like him. what do i do? thanks.
if you really like him, and if your friend are your true friends, then they shouldn't care what you do, and you should go for it with him. i know that it's hard to do things that your friends don't approve of, but in the long run it's your life, and you should feel free to do whatever you want to do. unless you find out some really bad info on him, then i see no harm in dating him, as long as he's a good guy besides the fact that he's called a pothead...if he's got a good personality, then go for it. hope this helped
if you had the opportunity to have sex with someone you weren't dating but have hooked up with a lot over the past few months would you? i guess im just wondering because everyone says sex is supposed to be a "special" thing you share with someone you love. I think i'm ready but i'm not even dating the guy let alone love him-so if i think he is the right guy to have sex with is he worth the risk? My friend told me, "if you like him don't do it, if you don't like him then go for it"
also on a side note-if you were my friend would you lose respect for me if i made the decision to have sex?
thanks a lot yall :)
ok i'm going to try not to answer this as a friend, but as an advicenator, so bare with me. first of all, i would not lose any respect for you if you made the decision to have sex, and that person that said they would lose all respect for you if you were their friend is a jackass. but your not their friend, your my friend, and i wouldn't even look at you differently. i would just want to make sure that you made the right decision, and that you were 100% comfortable with the decision you made. crap im being a friend. ok advicenator action here...you say you don't love the guy, and you aren't even dating. many people say that sex is supposed to be "special", but that isn't necessarily true. from experience, sex (or the first time at least), isn't this mind blowing experience that people think it is. i mean a lot of people say that you should definitely not do it until your in love, but honestly, i think that if you're emotionally and physically ready for it, and you truely think he's the right person, then there's no harm in it, as long as you KNOW you won't get attached again like last time...which i think is a big possibility, but i'm not you, so i dont know. anywho, just be sure that you are 100% ready. and honestly, i don't think he's a bad choice for your first...you can do better, but he's definitely not bad-considering how much he's changed. and i'll always love you no matter what, just be smart, k kid? haha i said kid...i don't say kid...be smart babe.
ok, my ex boyfriend was at my house last week hanging out with my brother, he stayed the night and in the morning im like "Hey, wanna sign my jeans" cuz i was having everyone sign them. he said sure...and he signed them saying "luv you always, Gary" then 2 nights ago he told me that he wanted my best friend back (he was her first bf and he really liked her but she broke up with him) but yea, then he made a crying face and said "Bryanna!!!!" and did another crying face (this was on a messenger) and he has no idea how much it hurt and confused me. I mean, he writes luv you always on my pants then he says he wants them. He confuses the hell outta me and I don't know what to do about it. when i ask him how he feels he just says he doesnt know. Theres obviously no point in asking him how he feels anymore. So how can I find out? I have seen him look at me a couple times but I guess it didnt mean anything. plz help. thanks 4 reading this, its kinda long lol
ok well fist of all, i'm a little confused at the problem, because you said he was your ex-boyfriend, so he has the right to want your best friend back. but i can understand where you're confused. maybe what he meant by "luv you always" was that he will always love you as a friend. but, that doesn't mean you can't talk to him about it. what he's doing to you isn't fair, and you deserve an answer. when you talk to him, don't ask him what he feels, but rather tell him that you are very confused by the fact that he wrote "luv you always", and then tells you that he wants your best friend back. since you guys aren't dating, you can't really give him the ultimatum saying "it's either me or her", but you can make it clear that you need to know whether the "luv" that he was implying when he wrote on your jeans was a friendly love, or something more. i hope this helped, and good luck.
I love my boyfriend very much, and he is just the sweetest thing to me. I wouldn't trade him for anybody else. My parents don't think he's a good influence on me, and want us to break up. If he doesn't change soon they'll keep us from seing each other and talking.
He's 2 years older than me, in high school when I'm still just a middle schooler. I met him through my younger brother's theatre group, he is a wonderful actor and an even better singer. I knew who he was for almost a year, but never talked to him since he was older, and I wasn't even in the play. some time in september he noticed me at the theatre group. We began talking on the computer and on the phone for several weeks until he asked me out. my parents had been sorta skepetical about the whole thing with an older guy from the begining, but let me go out with him anyway.
There have been a few times that I couldn't do or go places with him because he was older, or because my parents didn't think I was ready to do things. He takes things rather personally and got really upset with them, being extremely rude about them in his online diary. Later, after the problems had been solved, my dad found the website, nad was really disappointed in what he saw. That was about 3 weeks ago. My parents have never let go of the fact that he and I made out in front of my little bro, something both of us will never do again. They also like to rub in my face that he is very emmotional, and materilistic and they point out all his bad traits. They fail to mention how sweet he is to me, how well we get along, how he calls me every day no matter what, and comes to watch me ride horses when any other guy would be bored to death.
Last friday one of our friends told him that I was cheating on him with my ex. Which so didn't and will never happen. I told him so on saturday, and he believed me until he talked to her again, and on sunday he was mad at me. I felt so bad, being accused of something that he knows that as a person, I would never do that. Anyways, he hugs all his friends that are girls. I told my mom, and she almost had be convienced to break up with him.
Yesterday, I was talking to him on the phone, and I told him he needed to be more respectful to my parents. He replied with "I dont give a what your parents think" I then told him that why my mom was letting me use the phone before I was finished with homeworkd and chores was because I was supposed to break up with him, but that I didn't want to. He got all upset and got off the phone.
I dont know what to do, I want him to be able to get along with my parents, and I want them to see all the good things I see in him. How should I let him know that my parents thnk he is a bad influence, emotional, rude in his diary ect. ect. without making it sound like thats how I feel, and that they still like him well enough as a person. I agree with a few of the things they say, and I want him to know and to fix those things, but I dont want to sound rude, or demanding. Sorry about the question being so long, thanks so much if you can help me!
your guy seems like the typical "theater person." all my friends in highschool were theater, eventhough i wasn't, but the ALL acted like that-very emotional and often speak before they think. i think that you need to have a very serious talk with your boyfriend, and tell him everything that's bothering YOU. don't say what's bothering your parents, because then he'll think that you're saying that just so you don't seem like a bad person accusing him of things, and you're using your parents as a way out. don't hold back on what you need to tell him, because it is very important for him to understand that there are certain things that are necessary in order for a relationship to succeed, and one of those is definitely respect-respect to you and your parents. by being rude to your parents, he is in a way being rude to you, because he wont' respect your wishes for him to at least try and be nice to them. your parents do have good reason to not like him, because since he is 2 years older than you, at that age he is no doubt more experienced than you (not necessarily sexually, but just at life), and there's nothing you can do about that-it just comes with time. so i would talk to him about what's bothering you, and see if maybe he can work on adjusting his attitude about certain things. if he agrees to that, have a tlak with your parents and ask them if they can give you a couple more weeks to see if he really is going to change. hope this helped, and good luck
okay so .. i broke up with this guy a little while ago. But when i see him i still think about him. My friends say i should go back out with him .. but i dont want to .. i dont think im the type of girl to have a boyfriend but i also like having one too. I dont know what i should do. I dont even know if he still likes me. I think i just still have left over feelings for him but i dont think i could go back out with him. I kinda want to .. but then again im talking to another boy .. so i dont know what to do ..
well if you have any doubts about getting back together with this kid, don't. im sure the feelings you have for him are exactly what you said-left over. it's hard to get over someone, and it takes a while. but the worst thing you can do is get back together with him, because then when you break up again, it'll only make getting over him even harder. i would suggest investing your energy elsewhere, whether it be a different guy, or a sport, or school work-anything to get your mind off him. good luck
well i like this guy.. duh lol.. so anyways during the summer he told me that he liked me and i didnt like him then but i was really good friends with him so i was flattered but didnt like him back.. so then during the school year we kinda "hooked up" and we went to 3rd base.. and so ever since them i have had feelings for him... whenever hes around other girls i get jealous and it sucks.. i told him that i liked him and said i dunno if it is because we did stuff together or not.. and he just said "aww" and i still have these feelings for him and to make it worse we hooked up again so my feelings are even stronger.. but i dont really want to go out with him.. but i just like him a lot.. sry its so long --please help-- =] x3
well, if you don't really want to go out with him, then it seems like you have your mind made up. chances are the reason you have feelings for him is because you guys hooked up, and if you don't hook up anymore, they will probably go away. try not hooking up with him again, because that'll just make things harder on you. if you just stay friends with him, and keep it purely friends, things should be good between you two. that should't be too hard considering you said you didn't want to go out with him, so it's not like you're waiting for something else to happen. i hope this helped, and good luck.
Hey, lat night my friend was suppost to sleep over but then at the last minute she couldn't so she said that we would hang out tomorrow, which is today. Then she told me that she was going out to lunch wit her bf so i was like o i thought that we were hanging out today and she is like ya we still are..when i get bak from lunch. She hadn't told me that she was going out with him because we had made the plan before she made the plan to go out with her boyfriend. Should i be mad because she has been out the whole day with him when she told me that we would hang out.
you should definitely talk to her about it. don't be really mad, because it's not a huge deal, but it could turn into one if things continue like this. just talk to her and tell her that you don't appreciate her making plans with you, and then ditching her to hang out with her boyfriend. tell her that you understand that she wants to spend time with her bf, but it hurts you to have her cancel plans with you to hang out with him. hopefully she'll be able to see that you really are hurt, and she'll change. hope this helped. good luck!
So I'm 16 and I haven't even had my first kiss yet. I have alot of guy friends but they are all what it sounds like "guy" friends not boyfriends. I'm not a tombboy or whatever..Am I missing something here.
no you're not missing anything! i didn't get my first kiss till i was 16 either, and i had guy friends that were only guy friends. you just have to be patient, and the right guy will come around. don't worry! it'll happen soon enough. trust me :O)
I think that something wants me and my ex to be together. I want to tell him that I do want us to try again because I can't live with the fact of "what if". I have to find out because if I don't, it's just going to stay in the back of my head and I won't be able to move on with anyone else. So how should I tell my ex that I really care and that we should try again?
just tell him that you want to give it another shot. i understand about living with "what if", and if it's really going to bother you, then you have to see if it's possible. just tell him, and see what he says. he may not say yes, but that's a risk you're going to have to be willing to take. just tell him how you feel, and things should be fine. good luck!
Okay I am a female an I am 15 yrs old. I have always been rather skinny but I moved over a yr ago and since I moved I have gained a few pounds. I am still rather skinny, but now I have hips and I dont like it. I am about 5'6-5'7 and I way about 130lbs. My stomach is flat, and I have long legs, its just my hips. I am not comfortable with my body right now.I try and do sit ups and I walk and run alot but it doesnt seem to be helping much. I am really pretty, but I just want to lose a few pounds to feel better about myself. What is a good way to lose my hips and a few pounds? Does anyone kno of a good diet I could go on that does not involve too many calories. What do I do to lose weight?
hun, you're 15, and going through puberty. you're hips aren't fat...that's just what happens when you go through puberty-you're body changes, you get hips, and you put on a few pounds. and losing weight won't help you lose your hips, and there's nothing that you could have done earlier to make yourself not get them. plus-having hips gives your body a curve, and guys LOVE that...so keep that in mind. but if you're still not comfortable, just try and eat healthy, exercise everyday, and then you'll stay in shape and lose all the weight that you can. but don't be uncomfortable with your body-caues you're stuck with it for the rest of your life. you'll get used to it too-i promise
i use to be really good friends with this gurl. but we dont talk anymore. we both said some really bad things about eachother. she wrote a note to when we were friends saying that we would be friends forever no matter what. I feel like she wants to fix things with me but im not sure. Should i talk to her. If i do what should i say?
you should definitely talk to her, if you want to fix things with her too. it'll be really hard and a little bit awkward at first, but if you have been good friends with her, it won't be that bad. just tell her that you're really sorry for the things that you said, and you hope that you guys can fix things and be friends again. i know that one you start talking, there will be so much to say, that you won't need anything planned out. but if it helps you, then make a list of things you want to say to her-such as appologies, questions about why you got ina fight, etc. i'm sure she'll be really happy that you took the initiative and decided to talk. it takes guts, and if you do it, you're a really strong person, and i admire that. best of luck, and i hope this helped.
hey i'm 13 years old and im not a geek or anything, and ithink i'm kinda pretty:-/.(i'm kinda skinny and 5 foot which i dont like, but anyways)
The only guys that have asked me out were kinda dorky, and only like one guy who i actually liked asked me out, but i misunderstood, not knowing that he liked me. This one guy who i sort of thought was cute asked me out, and I said yes, but he's kinda shy, and I don't know what to do, because he might be coming to my school, and he didn't really hang out with me or my friends when he visited, an everyone was making this huge deal about us, because someone found out. I think another guy who i might like might like me, who is really cute, but i just started going out with matthew, (and he's in 7th and im in 8th) and i don't ^really^ know him yet, and don't want to hurt his feelings(he showed me a poem about the last girl who broke up with him that was kinda creepy about how he hated her)
what should i do?(sry about it being so long!)
-needz advice!-
well, if you're going out with Matthew just to go out with him, then that's really not fair to either of you. but if you think you might kind of like him, then stick it out for a little, and try and get to know im a little better. see what things you guys have in common, and stuff like that. you may find out that you really do like him! if not, then be fair to both of you, and break up with him, because the only thing worse than rejection, is knowing that someone is dating you because they feel bad for you, or they're scared of hurting you. but at your age, i wouldn't be too concerned about it, because guys tend to get over things pretty quickly at that age. good luck!
In the last year my periods have been really irregular. I'm 17 and I started my periods when I was 9 and they used to be quite regular, as far as I can recall because I never used to pay much attention to them.
In Spring my period was 3 months late and so I took a pregnancy test which was negative. In June and July my period was normal but the it was nearly 3 months late again. I had my last period late in October.
Does anyone know what is going on?
it's impossible to say what's going on, but talk to your parents, and go to the doctor. something could be wrong, which would need to be taken care of sooner rather than later. going on the pill will help to regulate your periods, and if your having sex its a double bonus. go see a gyno, and talk to them about what's wrong and what your options are. good luck!