|
How do I help him get my parents to like him?
I love my boyfriend very much, and he is just the sweetest thing to me. I wouldn't trade him for anybody else. My parents don't think he's a good influence on me, and want us to break up. If he doesn't change soon they'll keep us from seing each other and talking.
He's 2 years older than me, in high school when I'm still just a middle schooler. I met him through my younger brother's theatre group, he is a wonderful actor and an even better singer. I knew who he was for almost a year, but never talked to him since he was older, and I wasn't even in the play. some time in september he noticed me at the theatre group. We began talking on the computer and on the phone for several weeks until he asked me out. my parents had been sorta skepetical about the whole thing with an older guy from the begining, but let me go out with him anyway.
There have been a few times that I couldn't do or go places with him because he was older, or because my parents didn't think I was ready to do things. He takes things rather personally and got really upset with them, being extremely rude about them in his online diary. Later, after the problems had been solved, my dad found the website, nad was really disappointed in what he saw. That was about 3 weeks ago. My parents have never let go of the fact that he and I made out in front of my little bro, something both of us will never do again. They also like to rub in my face that he is very emmotional, and materilistic and they point out all his bad traits. They fail to mention how sweet he is to me, how well we get along, how he calls me every day no matter what, and comes to watch me ride horses when any other guy would be bored to death.
Last friday one of our friends told him that I was cheating on him with my ex. Which so didn't and will never happen. I told him so on saturday, and he believed me until he talked to her again, and on sunday he was mad at me. I felt so bad, being accused of something that he knows that as a person, I would never do that. Anyways, he hugs all his friends that are girls. I told my mom, and she almost had be convienced to break up with him.
Yesterday, I was talking to him on the phone, and I told him he needed to be more respectful to my parents. He replied with "I dont give a what your parents think" I then told him that why my mom was letting me use the phone before I was finished with homeworkd and chores was because I was supposed to break up with him, but that I didn't want to. He got all upset and got off the phone.
I dont know what to do, I want him to be able to get along with my parents, and I want them to see all the good things I see in him. How should I let him know that my parents thnk he is a bad influence, emotional, rude in his diary ect. ect. without making it sound like thats how I feel, and that they still like him well enough as a person. I agree with a few of the things they say, and I want him to know and to fix those things, but I dont want to sound rude, or demanding. Sorry about the question being so long, thanks so much if you can help me!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ok, he obviously really like you and there are a few things you have to sort out. First of all you have to confront the girl who is spreading rumours about you. Go with a girlfriend if that makes it easier. Ask her why she is doing it and if she has a nice bone in her body then she will leave you and him alone. Tell her she isn't getting a good name for herself by spreading lies. Secondly you definitely shouldn't have made out in front of your brother! Your parents are very protective over their children especially daughters and their boyfriends. I think they are worried that because he is older than you then he will want to take things further even though you are younger. You need to tell your parents that you can't help who you want to be with and that they have to support you otherwise they are just going to push you away. Perhaps invite him round for dinner at our place with your parents there. Get him to dress smartly and perhaps bring them a bottle of wine and, if acts on his best behaviour then they will most likely think he is a responsible guy and will look after you instead of someone who wants to make out all the time etc... Once they see this they will let their guard down and understand how much you mean to eachother. Make sure you aren't too close in front of your parents tho like kissing on the lips or holding hands. You have to wait til yourparents have calmed down before they will accept that. They are worried because you are their daughter and you are young and perhaps the first boyfriend you have had or that they know about? My parents were the same and it all worked out in the end!
]
Parents never change their minds about those things, trust me. They will always see what's wrong with him and will never want to understand him as a sweet person. It's not worth trying right now. But he also needs to have the decency to respect what you think will keep you two together. If he can't see that then maybe another guy is what you need, even if it's not what you want. Don' stay with someone who will make your life more miserable.
]
WOW that was long haha. I don't mind I love helping. Well 1st off writing in the diary wasn't his best move and you should tell him that if he loves you he will respect your parents. As far as you parents making fun of him thats just all F***ed up and not right. If my daughter loved someone even if i didnt like him adn tried breakin them up i wouldn't bust on the guy. I think you need the have a one on one conversation with him face to face and tell him all of this. Hope I Helped. Good Luck!
]
your guy seems like the typical "theater person." all my friends in highschool were theater, eventhough i wasn't, but the ALL acted like that-very emotional and often speak before they think. i think that you need to have a very serious talk with your boyfriend, and tell him everything that's bothering YOU. don't say what's bothering your parents, because then he'll think that you're saying that just so you don't seem like a bad person accusing him of things, and you're using your parents as a way out. don't hold back on what you need to tell him, because it is very important for him to understand that there are certain things that are necessary in order for a relationship to succeed, and one of those is definitely respect-respect to you and your parents. by being rude to your parents, he is in a way being rude to you, because he wont' respect your wishes for him to at least try and be nice to them. your parents do have good reason to not like him, because since he is 2 years older than you, at that age he is no doubt more experienced than you (not necessarily sexually, but just at life), and there's nothing you can do about that-it just comes with time. so i would talk to him about what's bothering you, and see if maybe he can work on adjusting his attitude about certain things. if he agrees to that, have a tlak with your parents and ask them if they can give you a couple more weeks to see if he really is going to change. hope this helped, and good luck
]
ok..unitl you are older..yeah they are not going to like him..middle schooler high schooler..right now..i am like woahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
But...he does need to be respectful of your parents...see everytime he is ugly to them..he is making your paresnt say to themselve..see..i was right..dont you get it..paresnt LONG to be right..prove them wrong tell him to shape up..any guy sho is NOT respectful of your paresnt..in a few weeks, months or wahtever..will be DOGGING you too...
How would you like for YOUR middler schooler to be dating a rude older high school guy??(dont tell me you will be ok..for teh kids that give their paresnts the MOST troubl..become the STRICTEST paresnt..ever..lol trust me...an expert here)
So..here is the converation..you know.._____ you are making them REALLY not like you..so unless you are willing for them to forbid me to see you..fake BRING nice ok..love me..love my paresnt..
Come on..he can do this..ok..FOR YOU!!!
]
First of all, STOP telling him the bad things that your parents say about him. Of course he is going to be resentful about those things. You should never let a friend or a boyfriend know when your parents don't approve of them. Your parents are not always right. They are going to be over-protective for the rest of your life. They won't see the sweet side of him, because he only shows it to you.
But what they do see is horrible. He is showing them his bad attitude that he gets when he realizes that they already hate him. He is being extremely disrespectful to you. If he doesn't give a shit about what they think, then he should at least pretend to be decent to them for your sake. Perhaps him and your parents will never get along, but they need to pretend or you will just be split apart.
You need to talk to your parents and let them know that your not a foolish little girl and you know that he isn't perfect. But you care very much for him and are not going to break up with him just because they don't like some things about him. If they start to put him down or talk about how terrible they think he is, then just walk away. Let them know that you can't listen to them putting him down. Eventually they will understand that they need to be civil for your sake.
Now on to the boyfriend. Quite frankly... you might not like me saying this, but he sounds like an ass. He should never disrespect your parents. He should never listen to some girl who says you cheated on him, especially when he already talked to you about it and should know that with your character that you wouldn't do anything like that. He should definately not be hugging all his female friends.
Screw his feelings. Don't try to hold back anything when you tell him how you feel. Don't worry about sounding rude, or demanding. DEMAND THAT HE BE RESPECTFUL TO YOU AND YOUR PARENTS. Sometimes you have to be harsh for someone to really understand how important it is to you. If he loves you and cares about you, then he will try to change.
]
My parents feel the same way about my boyfriend and they don not like him but they treat him with respect when he is over here. I think that you need to sit your parents down and let them know all of the positive things that he has going for him i mean it does not sound like he is a bad guy and then you also need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how your parents feel and why.. In a way its his fault for writing that in his journal for the whole world to see so that is something he is just goin to have to face but I dont think you should break up over something as simple as this. Your parents will eventully give in and like him and im sure if he stops writing bad things about them then they will let you go away with them also. And as far as your friend if she is saying that about you then she is obviously not your friend you need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him that he has no reason not to trust you (i dont think) and that he should not listen to what other people say and get mad unless he talks to you first. Glad i could help.. Good luck!
]
alothough parentsw can be soo frigin totally thickheaded..ur gonna half to try and get it through to them that hes not totally a bad kid.. yes he has horrible manners but everyone's a lil ruff around the edges... and for the lil rumor thing.. just call n be like "you know thats not ture, i love you more than you could ever imagine and i would never cheat on you and i truely hope you know that." what he did on that site tho was totally imature, stupid, and rediculous. how you let him talk sh*t bout ya parents hun i dont know.. but you should always defend your parents.. any waiiz just tell him that he needs to get his act together and just be a little more polite.. *hope i helped* love alwaiiz..aLi!
]
More Questions: |