Hello to all: I have been writing since the second grade and journaling since the fourth. My passion is helping others and those who know me come seeking advice. I have spent most of my life in school studying everything from metaphyscial studies to abnormal psychology to animal behavior. I have also survived things that most people don't go through in a lifetime, so the combonation of knowlede and experience has made me who I am today.
You can ask me anthing. There is never a question too big or too small. If I cannot answer the question for you...I will certainly point you in the right direction. I don't believe in stupid questions - there is no such thing. So, please if you are having trouble with something - anything...please ask.
Gender: Female
Location: Denver
Occupation: self-employed
Age: 29
Member Since: February 8, 2008
Answers: 42
Last Update: March 5, 2008
Visitors: 3593
Main Categories:
Love Life
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My best friend is so much prettier,smarter,and BETTER than I am. She is so popular she has guys hitting on her ALL THE TIME. She is forever complaining about boys being all flirty with her. I am jealous because she makes the best grades,and she is so beautiful,tall,slim,and such. I'm always jealous of her,and I must show it because she sometimes gets mad at me for it. I get all untalkactive,gloomy,and uncaring when I feel that way, which is so different from my outgoing,active,extrovert,and happy friend. She has the nicest parents,and she has everything.She is friends with everyone. Also,my crush for three years just broke my heart rejecting me by saying, "Eww,gross,not you,you're so ugly and fat." Then,I found out that he liked my best friend. And yes,and I very fat,and I have everyone calling me fat,ugly,and weird,and a horrible singer. I am not confident,and have no self esteem. I'm short, 4 feet nine inches, and much over 132 pounds. I am good at nothing,and get D's and F's. Can anyone help me boost my self-esteem?
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It sounds like you are having a hard time kiddo. I am sorry that you are feeling so bad about yourself. Let me start by saying that the grass always looks greener on the other side. Believe me, your friend's life is not so perfect. You just don't hear or see the bad. Nobody is perfect. I think that what you need is to take a break from worrying about your friend's life and stop comparing her life to yours. You are a one of a kind. A unique individual - like a snowflake. People are like snowflakes...meaning that everyone is special and different in their own way. I am only 5' tall. I went through a period in high school where I felt insecure and intimidated by the taller, more model-like girls. What I learned is that I had to like myself for who I am as an idividual. Stress causes weight gain...and 132 lbs is not fat. We live in a world where we are compared to women who are 5'9" or taller and they may weigh 120lbs. This has a tendency to irriate me, because I am now am a mother with a daughter who is almost nine, and she has a few girls in her class that are constently worried about their weight. There was a time when fuller figured women were desired. This meant that the woman came from money and was well fed. Don't let society tell you who you are or who you have to be. Sometimes young people your age can be very cruel. They can say things that can break your heart. Don't let it break your soul. A broken heart will mend, but a broken soul can take a lifetime to fix. Take some time to get to know you. What are the things that make you happy? What are the things that you are good at? Don't say nothing, because you are good at many things...you just have to find them. Once you start to feel better about yourself, then your grades will probably improve. If you are having trouble with your classes, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to your parents about a tutor. Sometimes the school can provide extra help. And, as far as the singing goes...I can't sing to save my life, but it doesn't stop me. If someone makes a comment about my singing (I sing because I like to do it), then I tell them that they don't have to listen. I am going to continue to sing, and they can either hear me or go some place else. Take control, sweetie of who you are. Nobody has everything...it may seem that your friend may have everything, but I can promise you that she has her moments when it seems like you have everything. She just doesn't show it. Keep your head up. It will get better if you stop comparing yourself to her or to others. If you can learn to like yourself, then learn to love yourself, others will see that. People tend to see you how you see yourself. Show them that you are a fun person who is beautiful on the inside and out...and if they don't appreciate you for who you are...well, screw 'um. Popularity only lasts until you get out of high school. After that, nobody cares how popular you were or were not. Remind yourself that you are beautiful and special because you are you, and there is not one other person on this planet that is exactly like you. How cool is that? I know I wouldn't want to be like anyone else. How boring would life be if we were all alike? Stay true to who you are, and if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to ask.
Good luck, sweetie. I promise it will get better.
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ok so im trying out for the school soccer team. im in 7th grade so there are 8th graders trying out too. i have played since i was 4 years old then i decided to stop my 5th and 6th grade year to get serious about cheerleading. well now cheelreadings over and i want to go back to soccer. im trying out but i dont even know what half the terms mean. 40 pple make the team (or teamS not sure) but i want to make it so badly. tryouts are the week of 3/10-3/14. im going to disney from feb.21-mar.1 so i have about 15 days to condition. what should i do for my soccer skills and to get into shape more. cheerleading ended in november so im way out of shape..thanks in advance! (link)
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I played competitive soccer when I was younger. I played all year round...spring season - tournaments in the summer - fall season - then indoor soccer in the winter. The ball never left my feet. A good way to condition is to find a park that has a good sized hill. Dribble the ball up the hill until it becomes easy. Then when you are at home, dribble the ball everywhere you go. Using your feet to get the ball up and down the stairs is a good way to quickly establish good ball control. Also, you will probably have to make sure that your cardio is up to speed. Try setting a goal and go RUNNING. These techniques are good for crash conditioning before tryouts. Soccer is AWESOME! Have fun and good luck.
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Im not sure if you will be able to help me or not but this is going to sound so dumb probably.
But like i feel like i just will never find a guy thats right for me. I mean yeah, i am only 16 but all my friends have found someone that they can talk to and "love" And of course they all tell me about their boyfriends and i act all happy and stuff for them. But sometimes, i just feel like hopeless. I mean, ive had guys that i have dated i guess you can say, but i never really felt that connection with them. And to top it all off, my best friend, she has like so many guys interested in her. I think i am pretty, but not as pretty as nearly half of the girls that go to my school. I don't know how to make that empty feeling go away. I mean will i ever find someone that i can be completley comfortable with?
I just need someone to boost my confidence or some advice or something, anything. please help. (: thanks so much in advance. (link)
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Thank you for your question. I assure you that your question is by far dumb. I do not believe there is such a thing as a dumb question. It sounds like you are feeling a little down, but rest assured that your feelings are normal, and you are not the only 16 year old young woman going through this. It is unusual for any teenager to make "the connection" at such a young age. I got married to man when I was nineteen. Now, this was ten years ago, and I am now married to a man whom I really do love, and my ex is serving a ten year prison sentence. But, that is a story for another time...maybe I will blog it someday. Emotions can sometimes be hard to understand, especially at your age when you are just beginning to experience life. You are at an age where you are becoming more of a woman. You are starting to make more decisions on your own and growing more independant. You sound as if you have a good head on your shoulders, and that is terrific. I wish I would of had as much sense as you do when I was your age. There are a couple of reasons why you have not found that connectionn with anyone yet. One, is due to the fact that you are still young. Two, is because you have standards for yourself and you know what you want for yourself - whether you realize this or not. By no means is there anything wrong with this. You should NEVER settle for something or someone. I too had that empty feeling growing up, and I am going to take a guess here and say that you probably have a sensitive intuition. I too, am one of these people. This is a gift. It is hard to understand it right now, but the empty feeling is because you know in your heart that there is someone out there just for you. Our souls are unbelievably amazing, and if we listen to our instincts, then things are much easier. By dating and discovering that you don't have a connection with these other guys, only means that your subconscience is telling you loud and clear that he is not the one. I made the mistake of settling because I was in such a hurry to fill that void inside of me. I can't say that it was a mistake because I got two beautiful kids out of it, however, if I had to do it all over again...I may of done things differently. I know that it seems that your friends are having all the fun because they have boyfriends right now, but believe me when I tell you, that the grass is always greener on the other side. When you see a girl who always has a boyfriend, that usually means that she is afraid to be by herself. I was one of these girls. I always had a boyfriend because I didn't want to be alone. I admired those who could be. It wasn't until I was older when I became comfortable with being by myself, and that is when I met the man I am married to now. I am very proud of you for being such a strong woman at your age. And I say woman, because only a woman can have as much sense as you do. I know that you may not see it now, but you are ahead of most girls your age. Also, keep in mind, that guys your age are very immature and ALL of them have only one thing on their mind. I know this sounds redundant...my mother used to tell me this, but of course I was the smartest teenager ever - and it wasn't until I got a little older that I realized she was right. Boys and puberty equal raging hormones that they don't even understand - so they are less emotionally attached than girls. This is why you see so many teenage girls pregnant and the guy runs away or doesn't want to be with the girl anymore - because they are teenagers. Please note that no one can fall in love with somebody without experiencing love itself. You WILL find a person that you can have a compatable connection with. You just have standards for yourself, and like I said before - this is terrific. When you are feeling a little lonely, try pampering yourself. Take a hot bath, maybe get a manicure or a pedicure - or both. You will meet Mr. Right when you least expect it. Have faith in yourself and remind yourself that you are a STRONG woman who doesn't need a man to make her happy - but, chooses to have a man in her life, and that man will feel very lucky to have you. Don't be in a hurry to grow up. You are only a kid for a minute - and you have the rest of you life to be an adult. You mentioned that you think you are pretty - don't think - know. You are beautiful...and if some guys don't see that...it's only because they know they can't manipulate you into doing what they want (and they can pick out those girls from a mile away)...it is only later when those same guys are done using women and then want someone as special as you. Don't give in to it. Keep doing what you are doing, and most importantly keep being your wonderful self. I promise that when it is time for you - it WILL happen.
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Hello...I am 14 and a guy... and I don’t know what to do...I haven’t had a girlfriend yet...which sucks...well I kind of did but we broke up like in a day...when we never really went out...but I'm not one of the most popular guys in school...but I guarantee that 99% of the people in my grade know my name...and I am kind of popular with the "not-so popular" girls...like I sit with 4 of them at lunch and they laugh at my jokes and sometimes I cant figure out what to say...so I just smile and nod but all of them are really close friends...I even think I talk to them more then I talk to my guy friends...and it would be weird asking one of my friends out...plus it took me like a month to ask that "not real" girlfriend I talked about earlier...and it turned out to be a joke...but like I cant go up to a girl and ask them out...I AM TERRIBLY SHY around girls and even if I did ask them out...I wouldn't know where to ask them to...what to get...what to do...what to say...I need to know what to do to get me to ask a girl and actually know what to do on the date...and if you’ve read this whole thing, I really appreciate it...thank you (link)
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Fourteen...what an awkward age to be dating. I don't think that there is anything wrong with being shy. You would surprised at how many girls out there that are just as shy. It sounds like you are a well rounded individual. This is a quality that women will appreciate about you when you are a little older. If there is a certain girl that you want to ask out...try asking her to a movie. "Hey, there is this movie that I really want to see, would you like to go and see it with me?" You may be surprised at your answers. If she says no, it is not the end of the world. All that means is that it wasn't meant to be. It means that the girl that does say yes, well, she is the one you will have a good time with. If you are already friends, then it should make it a little easier. Or, you could try and get together another couple - this sometimes makes the situation less awkward.
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i've been shaving *down there* for a while now, but a day afterwards i always get red bumps and occasionally i accidentally cut myself there and i always have to wait like three weeks before i can shave again because it isn't long enough.
...does anyone know how to wax?
does it hurt?
how often should you do it? (link)
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Waxing does hurt, especially the first three or four times that you do it. I would stick with shaving, but be careful. You can get what is called an absess. These look like big in-grown hairs that can be very painful. These have to usually be incised and drained. Try shaving with shaving cream that contains extra moisturizers, especially in the winter when your skin craves moisture the most. If you are still experiencing red bumps or discomfort, then you can go to an adult store and purchase a product specifically designed for shaving the genital area. I have used such product, and I never had any problems with razor burn (red bumps) or and discomfort. Plus, it usually keeps the hair from growing back so fast. Good luck.
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Why is it that life always takes a dump on the nice guys and gives all the great shit to the assholes who dont deserve it? Im fed up with it, Im nothing but nice to people and i love being the nice, sweet guy, but why is it so hard to be happy? All these jerks get everything, why? Do i have to be an asshole to get what i want? Nice guys never get the girl... (link)
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I am sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time being the nice guy. Don't be so hard on yourself. I used to date back in high school - ten years ago - the guys who were more of the "bad boy" type. When I was nineteen, I married the ultimate bad boy. We had two beautiful kids...well, eight years later we were divorced and he is now serving a ten year prison sentence. I am now remarried - to a nice guy - and believe me when I say...where was he ten years ago? Keep being yourself, try and watch for others who would likely take advantage of your kindness. You have a right to put your foot down when this happens. As far as for the girls, well, eventually they will learn. I promise you that there is a girl out there who was made just for you, and when you find each other, the sun will seem brighter, the sky will look bluer, and you will end up with the girl. Don't direct yourself towards the wrong girl. Girls can be the most manipulative creatures - not all of us are like this - but, they are out there. Don't sell yourself short...if they don't like you for who you are...then screw them. You deserve to be happy just like everybody else...
My advice would be to be careful of those who you give your kindness to. Choose wisely and listen to your heart. You know yourself better than anyone else. Good luck Mr. Nice Guy.
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2 years ago i went out with this guy for 5months and after 5months i lost the "beginning relationship spark" but i thought i didn't like him anymore but i knew i still loved him. anyway i didn't know what i was feeling and i broke up with him. he was my first love and i was his. not too long after we broke up he got a new girlfriend and has been with her ever since but now two years later i miss him ALOT. last night i was crying hysterically. like screaming crying because i missed him so much and i want him back. i havent cried over a guy...ever! just when we broke up. we started going out on the day before valentines day (today) so im not sure if valentines day is bringing these emotions but last valentines day i was fine without him. we've been texting for about 2 months now but not talking about me liking him. just boring conversations but now his phone broke so we havent talked in a week and i can't call his house, that would be wayyyy too akward. i did request him on myspace though last night so im hoping to talk to him on there. BUT, these feelings for him aren't going away and i havent felt like this or missed him in 2 years but now all of the sudden i can't remember why we broke up. i really really really want to tell him that i'm still in love with him but he's been going out with this other girl for almost 2years. i need to get this off my chest but even though i would rather him be with me than her, i don't think im quite mean enough to tell my ex i like him right before he celebrates valentines day with his girlfriend.
what the heck do i do about this??? (link)
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It sounds like you really love this guy. Don't live with regret. If you don't tell him how you feel, then you will live with the "what ifs" for the rest of your life. What ever is meant to be, will be. How do you know that he doesn't feel the same way? If he tells you that he can't be with you, then at least you know so that YOU can move on with your life. Tell him how you feel. I don't think that the timing is all that bad. If he were just about to get married, then I would say, yeah, maybe the timing sucks. But, you will never know unless you find out. Good luck.
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14/female
i am 4'11" and weigh just barely 90 pounds. I am skinny but not to skinny. and i never have a big appitie. i am concerned that i am not growing as fast as i should. i know that everyones different in how fast they grow but ALL of my friends arent still shopping in the little girls department anymore, my sister is growing faster than me and she is 3 years younger. none of the females in my family ever matured slowly. i get frustrated with myself because i still look like a 12 year old and i am almost 15. i am also worried that because i do not look my age it will be harder for me to get a summer job. does anyone have any answers for me? boost my confidence? anyone please help...
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There is nothing wrong or abnormal about being small. I am only 5'0" tall, and I weigh about 110 lbs. I have four children - so I am older. I stopped growing around 14-15 years old. Everyone in my family is tall, except for my mother. She is 5'2", however, on both my mom and dad's side of the family, everyone is nearly 6' and over. My brother is 6'. It's just genetics. As far as you not having much of an appetite, well, you are only 14 years old. It is not uncommon for teenagers to go through periods where they don't eat much. Children do the same thing. My suggestion would be to try and put yourself on an eating schedule. This means that you eat something for breakfast in the morning (banana, apple, toast, cereal, etc.) then eat something for lunch - maybe a sandwhich or a slice of pizza if you like pizza - and then eat something for dinner. Your body needs fuel - just like a car needs gas. It is extreamely important that you get some nutrition inside of you. Decide what it is that you like to eat, and make a conscience effort to eat three meals a day - or you could eat six small meals through the day. I like to munch on granola bars. There was a study done...I am not sure when, but it showed that the average person who did not receive the proper amount of nutrition while growing, ended up becoming almost three inches shorter than what they were actually supposed to be. Now, these were mostly kids who grew up in low income families. I am not saying that this is what is going on with you, but it is something to keep in the back of your mind. Food is essential for the brain. It needs food in order to function. If you set yourself up on a schedule, I am confident that you will not only start to feel better, but it also helps with skin and hair. Malnutrition can cause your hair to fall out and your skin could develop worse acne in the future. Don't be frustrated with looking younger than you are right now. When you get a job, you still have to prove how old you are. Believe me when I tell you that if you look younger now, you will appreciate that when you are older. :) You could try shopping in stores that carry petites(spelling?). I know that Old Navy carries clothes for smaller women, and also Hollister and I believe Abercrombie and Fitch. Dont' compare yourself to anyone else. You are unique in your own ways, and great things come in small packages. :) Good luck.
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If I open and close my jaw, it randomly cracks or pops. It isn't loud [I'm probably the only one who can hear it] and it doesn't hurt at all whatsoever. People told me to look up TMJ. I don't really have any TMJ symptoms except one or two. I'm going to the oral surgeon in a few weeks for a wisdom teeth checkup so I can ask the doctor about it then. I'm just a bit worried because I thought it wasn't too serious since it wasn't painful and it never stopped me from chewing or anything like that. Has anyone had this and if so, what is it?? Thanks!! (link)
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I wouldn't worry too much about it at this point. Since you are not experiencing any pain, then it could mean a couple of things. It could be due to your wisdom teeth, or you could be developing early signs of TMJ. The doctor will be able to look and see if there is anything contributing to the popping. Usually, that does mean TMJ, however, everybody is unique and therefore, it could be nothing. Good luck. If it gets worse, or you start to experience any pain, then I would call your dentist and ask him/her about it.
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There's this girl at my school named Eve. She hangs out at my group and I can't get my mind off of her. I asked her if she'd go out with me but she's straight and I really like her. I always imagine kissing her. We're super good friends. How do I get my mind off her? I can't turn her into what I want her to be! 18/F. Please DO NOT critizize me about my sexuality(spelling?); i've heard it all! Thanks. Sorry if its long! (link)
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It sounds like you are in a conflicted situation. You are absolutely right when you stated that you can't turn her into what you want. Believe me when I tell you that straight people can have the same problem. I knew a guy in high school that was gay, but how I wished he wasn't. What I learned is this...if all she can be is your friend, then be her friend back. Ask yourself if it would be better if you were not friends. If the answer is no, then feel lucky that you have her as a friend...she obviously has qualities that you like in a partner - it's a good thing that she can show you this. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. Maybe she is in your life to show you what kind of a woman you should be looking for...also, if she is straight, then she is not the one...that only means that the person who you are destined to be with is still out there looking for you. Keep your chin up...and to get your mind off of her, well, that is usually easier said then done. Try occupying your time with something else, until you can accept that she is not on the same page you are. Everyone, straight and gay, has gone through this. We can't make other people love us or like us, but we can learn from others who we are and what we want, by observing them. I learned a lot from my ex-husband, who I was married to for eight years...man, he taught me a lot about what I don't want in a partner. Now, I am re-married and my husband is everything that I have always wanted. It will happen for you too...when you're ready.
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13/f to be 14 i'm having a dance bday party. I want some good ideas for party games.
also any decoration ideas (link)
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First, I would choose a theme for your party. Chosing decorations can be tricky...decide on a budget. Decorative candles are good...candles tend to set a more relaxed atmosphere. Also, this is your party so you should choose something that fits your personality. People will expect an environment that fits who you are. Party America or Party City has tons of theme ideas and decortations. Also, if you can find a good DJ at a reasonable price, that will make for a lot of fun.
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Okay, so I need some help answering this. [& if you can tell me how to do it, too, that'd be great]
How many oxygen atoms would it take to form a line one centimeter long? [if they were placed side-by-side]
Thanks to anyone who helps. :]]]
I really dont get how to do it. (link)
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This is a challenging question to answer. Try using avagadro's number to calculate the atomic weight of the oxygen atom...then see if you can figure out how many oxygen atoms are in a cubic centimeter, then you will probably have to work your way backwards. Also, you could try looking up quantum physics...this can be helpful. Good Luck.
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i really really like my ex still but he has a new girlfriend. all my friends say i should tell him that i like him. i broke up with him so im wondering if i should tell him or not. (link)
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Love is a wonderful and complicated thing. Sometimes, you only get one chance to tell someone how you really feel. But be careful, because love can also be illusional. Ask yourself if you still like him because he has another girlfriend? You may have to think about it long and hard. If you still want to be with him, then tell him...if not, then let him go.
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14/f
so me and this guy, we have no interest in a relationship
we've liked each other on and off for 3 years
i really love him
he loves me
i've given him a blow job
hes eaten me out
fingered
handjob
we've made out with just bottoms on
we've talked about sex
i love the feeling of being fingered while we're topless
am i ready for sex? (link)
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This is a tough question. Sex is a big deal - there are many emotions that come along with sex. Fourteen is very young to be engaging in such an activity that requires great maturity and responsibility. I knew a girl in high school who got pregnant at fourteen. We were freshmen, and she was having a baby. We didn't even have our driver's license. How was someone who couldn't even drive a car, supposed to be a mom and take care of another human being? She wasn't even old enough to get a job. I imagined myself in her shoes as I contemplated having sex with my boyfriend, whom I dated for nearly four years. I decided it was better to wait until I was ready to take care of a child. It only takes one time to get pregnant, or catch an STD. 1 out of every 4 Americans have herpes. 1 out of every 4...that means that 1 out of every four kids in one of your classes has or will have herpes in their lifetime. Never tell yourself that it won't happen to you...becuause it does. Just think about it really hard. Sex is a beautiful and amazing thing...but it can also kill you. Good luck.
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Hi, Im a girl and 18 and I'm a virgin, I've never had anything inside of my vagina, not even a tampon...i do masturbate but never stick my finger inside of me....today i thought i tried cus my boyfrined and i have gotten serious..well when i inserted my finger inside of me it really really hurt and i tried again later and it really really hurt again...im scared is there a reason why its hurting so much besides ive never had nething inside of me.... (link)
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It is normal the first couple of times that you engage in intercourse to feel discomfort. There is a flap of skin inside the vagina called the hymen - this will break and you may have some bleeding. Once this breaks, then you won't have the pain anymore. Tell your partner to go slow, and try some lubrication...this can make it easier since you are probably dry. Once the hymen is broken and you don't feel pain anymore, then you will produce natural secreations that will aid in having intercourse. Just listen to your body and be patient. Go slow, and go at YOUR pace...this will avoid tearing. Good luck.
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everytime i get out of the shower my hair is really tangled and is hard to brush what can i do (link)
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Try using a leave-in conditioner, and a silacone base product - such as a silking gloss - you can get these at any of your local beauty salon. Also, try using a shampoo that is for dry/normal hair...these will usually contain more moisturizers which will help to detangle your hair.
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ok well my boyfriend broke up with me today but said that he didnt want to but had to because we needed a break so the drama thats been going on will calm down adn he says that we'll still hang out and do all the normal things boyfriend and girlfriends do OUTSIDE OF SKOOL cept we just wont have the tytle girlfriend or boyfriend. I eally love him and I think he loves me because he was real broke up about breakin up with me and he says he aint gonn ago out with anyone else because he only want to be with me. should I wait for him or move on? (link)
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Every relationship contains some sort of drama. You wouldn't be normal if you didn't. The only thing that I would be concerned about is the fact that he still wants to hang out and do all of the boyfriend/girlfriend things outside of school. It sounds like he may want to see other people, or he is conflicted about seeing other people. If he really wants a break then take a break. Limit communication and see if that makes the two of you stronger or farther apart. There is an old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I was with the same guy all through high school, and when I felt as if we were growing apart, and I was conflicted about what I wanted to do, I suggested a break. Maybe the two of you should lay down some ground rules as to what a "break" really means. Communication is the key. And remember, if it is meant to be, then the two of you will work it out.
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My husband (married for 16 year) for the past few months have a horrible problem with my son. He ignores him completly, does not talk to him at all, and if my son does not do something he will call him names and put him down or call my son name to me.
I love my husband and he is good to me but since my son has made quite few mistakes in his life I am just between two of them. I must add that my husband is a person with many rules and kind of "black or white". My son has made a few very stupid decisions lately like moving out a day after turning 17, drinking, ignoring us on the street around his friends, lying, failing school and playing us that he wants to stay in school and many other but really felling almost everything. Now my son is back at home now and he does not want to move out but things are bad since my husband does not want to discipline him so it's just me and because of that he blames me for eveything. We fight with my husbnad constantly about my son. I just have enough of listing to it. For example a couple of days ago my son has lost another key to our house this would be probably the 5th time and I did not even tell my husband. My son just is very irresponsible and inmature. He does not care about things or money and this is completley against my husband's way of living.
What should I do, I have enough of fights, enough of my son's lying and lazyiness but at the same time I love him I cannot just kick him out. At the same time I do not want to distroy my relationship with my husband. We have tried to set up some rules for my son but he does not follow them.
thank you. (link)
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Things can be tough with teenagers. It sounds like your son is acting out. Usually, this can stem from other things that may be bothering him and he is not sure how to express them. Then again, he could just be a really stubborn teenager. There is a technique called "tough love" and it is harder on the parents to implement than the child. You have to find a way to put your foot down with your son. It sounds as if, in his mind, he feels he can get away with being insubordinate. It is important that you and your husband are on the same team. Sometimes that is very hard to do. I would also suggest counseling of some sort. Sometimes in a step-child - step-parent relationship, a lack of respect seems to be tolerated. A family counsler can mediate and try to find solutions that work for all three of you.
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f/15
okay. i have no idea like how to flirt. i'm terrible at it, i never really tried because i don't know what to say. how can i like learn how to flirt? i use to be kind of a tomboy before and i hang out with guys sometimes, but i am girlyish too. it just always feels weird if i would try to flirt. any suggestions? (link)
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Just be yourself. If he says something that is funny, then laugh...if it is not so funny...well, don't pretend to be someone that you're not. Flirting will come natural if you don't force it. It is something that occurs between two people who have chemistry. If you force the flirting too much, you might send off the wrong signal and then he will see you as nothing more but a piece of meat. Show him who you are by being yourself. Then if the chemistry is there, and he likes you too, then the flirting will automatically happen.
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I get jealous when I'm in a three-friend group,which I'm in a lot.So,I like to cause of a little drama sometimes.Like for example,let's go by Nicole and Cassie.I tell Nicole Cassie gossips about her,and the same thing for Cassie.So basically,I like making myself less jealous by making my friends hate each other,so I can have them to myself,without worrying they'll leave me out.Is it because I feel left out when they are doing something one-on-one?Can someone give me advice to stop feeling so jealous?13/F (link)
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A three friend trio at your age can be a difficult situation. You are going through a lot of hormonal changes that come along with growing up, so the jealousy feeling is normal. By turning your friends against each other, you are playing with fire. Sooner or later they will talk and figure it out, then you will be left out. The feelings of jealousy stem from your own insecurities, whether you realize it or not. That is also normal at 13. Believe me when I say this: you are not the only teenager out there going through this. Try suggesting more activites that the three of you can do together - maybe a slumber party - those are usually always super fun. Also, if you happen to find yourself feeling left out from your friends, talk to them about it. Tell them you are feeling a little left out. Many times others don't know how you feel unless you say something. Communication is important in any relationship you have with any one. I have lived by the motto: say what you mean, and mean what you say. If they truely are your friends, then they will listen and understand. Good Luck.
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