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The "right" guy
Im not sure if you will be able to help me or not but this is going to sound so dumb probably.
But like i feel like i just will never find a guy thats right for me. I mean yeah, i am only 16 but all my friends have found someone that they can talk to and "love" And of course they all tell me about their boyfriends and i act all happy and stuff for them. But sometimes, i just feel like hopeless. I mean, ive had guys that i have dated i guess you can say, but i never really felt that connection with them. And to top it all off, my best friend, she has like so many guys interested in her. I think i am pretty, but not as pretty as nearly half of the girls that go to my school. I don't know how to make that empty feeling go away. I mean will i ever find someone that i can be completley comfortable with?
I just need someone to boost my confidence or some advice or something, anything. please help. (: thanks so much in advance.
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Thank you for your question. I assure you that your question is by far dumb. I do not believe there is such a thing as a dumb question. It sounds like you are feeling a little down, but rest assured that your feelings are normal, and you are not the only 16 year old young woman going through this. It is unusual for any teenager to make "the connection" at such a young age. I got married to man when I was nineteen. Now, this was ten years ago, and I am now married to a man whom I really do love, and my ex is serving a ten year prison sentence. But, that is a story for another time...maybe I will blog it someday. Emotions can sometimes be hard to understand, especially at your age when you are just beginning to experience life. You are at an age where you are becoming more of a woman. You are starting to make more decisions on your own and growing more independant. You sound as if you have a good head on your shoulders, and that is terrific. I wish I would of had as much sense as you do when I was your age. There are a couple of reasons why you have not found that connectionn with anyone yet. One, is due to the fact that you are still young. Two, is because you have standards for yourself and you know what you want for yourself - whether you realize this or not. By no means is there anything wrong with this. You should NEVER settle for something or someone. I too had that empty feeling growing up, and I am going to take a guess here and say that you probably have a sensitive intuition. I too, am one of these people. This is a gift. It is hard to understand it right now, but the empty feeling is because you know in your heart that there is someone out there just for you. Our souls are unbelievably amazing, and if we listen to our instincts, then things are much easier. By dating and discovering that you don't have a connection with these other guys, only means that your subconscience is telling you loud and clear that he is not the one. I made the mistake of settling because I was in such a hurry to fill that void inside of me. I can't say that it was a mistake because I got two beautiful kids out of it, however, if I had to do it all over again...I may of done things differently. I know that it seems that your friends are having all the fun because they have boyfriends right now, but believe me when I tell you, that the grass is always greener on the other side. When you see a girl who always has a boyfriend, that usually means that she is afraid to be by herself. I was one of these girls. I always had a boyfriend because I didn't want to be alone. I admired those who could be. It wasn't until I was older when I became comfortable with being by myself, and that is when I met the man I am married to now. I am very proud of you for being such a strong woman at your age. And I say woman, because only a woman can have as much sense as you do. I know that you may not see it now, but you are ahead of most girls your age. Also, keep in mind, that guys your age are very immature and ALL of them have only one thing on their mind. I know this sounds redundant...my mother used to tell me this, but of course I was the smartest teenager ever - and it wasn't until I got a little older that I realized she was right. Boys and puberty equal raging hormones that they don't even understand - so they are less emotionally attached than girls. This is why you see so many teenage girls pregnant and the guy runs away or doesn't want to be with the girl anymore - because they are teenagers. Please note that no one can fall in love with somebody without experiencing love itself. You WILL find a person that you can have a compatable connection with. You just have standards for yourself, and like I said before - this is terrific. When you are feeling a little lonely, try pampering yourself. Take a hot bath, maybe get a manicure or a pedicure - or both. You will meet Mr. Right when you least expect it. Have faith in yourself and remind yourself that you are a STRONG woman who doesn't need a man to make her happy - but, chooses to have a man in her life, and that man will feel very lucky to have you. Don't be in a hurry to grow up. You are only a kid for a minute - and you have the rest of you life to be an adult. You mentioned that you think you are pretty - don't think - know. You are beautiful...and if some guys don't see that...it's only because they know they can't manipulate you into doing what they want (and they can pick out those girls from a mile away)...it is only later when those same guys are done using women and then want someone as special as you. Don't give in to it. Keep doing what you are doing, and most importantly keep being your wonderful self. I promise that when it is time for you - it WILL happen.
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