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Her
There's this girl at my school named Eve. She hangs out at my group and I can't get my mind off of her. I asked her if she'd go out with me but she's straight and I really like her. I always imagine kissing her. We're super good friends. How do I get my mind off her? I can't turn her into what I want her to be! 18/F. Please DO NOT critizize me about my sexuality(spelling?); i've heard it all! Thanks. Sorry if its long!
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It sounds like you are in a conflicted situation. You are absolutely right when you stated that you can't turn her into what you want. Believe me when I tell you that straight people can have the same problem. I knew a guy in high school that was gay, but how I wished he wasn't. What I learned is this...if all she can be is your friend, then be her friend back. Ask yourself if it would be better if you were not friends. If the answer is no, then feel lucky that you have her as a friend...she obviously has qualities that you like in a partner - it's a good thing that she can show you this. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. Maybe she is in your life to show you what kind of a woman you should be looking for...also, if she is straight, then she is not the one...that only means that the person who you are destined to be with is still out there looking for you. Keep your chin up...and to get your mind off of her, well, that is usually easier said then done. Try occupying your time with something else, until you can accept that she is not on the same page you are. Everyone, straight and gay, has gone through this. We can't make other people love us or like us, but we can learn from others who we are and what we want, by observing them. I learned a lot from my ex-husband, who I was married to for eight years...man, he taught me a lot about what I don't want in a partner. Now, I am re-married and my husband is everything that I have always wanted. It will happen for you too...when you're ready.
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