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My son and his step dad
My husband (married for 16 year) for the past few months have a horrible problem with my son. He ignores him completly, does not talk to him at all, and if my son does not do something he will call him names and put him down or call my son name to me.
I love my husband and he is good to me but since my son has made quite few mistakes in his life I am just between two of them. I must add that my husband is a person with many rules and kind of "black or white". My son has made a few very stupid decisions lately like moving out a day after turning 17, drinking, ignoring us on the street around his friends, lying, failing school and playing us that he wants to stay in school and many other but really felling almost everything. Now my son is back at home now and he does not want to move out but things are bad since my husband does not want to discipline him so it's just me and because of that he blames me for eveything. We fight with my husbnad constantly about my son. I just have enough of listing to it. For example a couple of days ago my son has lost another key to our house this would be probably the 5th time and I did not even tell my husband. My son just is very irresponsible and inmature. He does not care about things or money and this is completley against my husband's way of living.
What should I do, I have enough of fights, enough of my son's lying and lazyiness but at the same time I love him I cannot just kick him out. At the same time I do not want to distroy my relationship with my husband. We have tried to set up some rules for my son but he does not follow them.
thank you.
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I know you love your son but its time for him to grow up and take responsibility for his actions. He is 17 if you make rules for him and he doesn't follow them threaten to kick him out or take something away from him at the least. You are just letting him run over you. I understand where your husband is coming from he is also getting run overred by your son and can't do much about it if you don't back him up. Do whats best for you and your son he needs to grow up, go to school, move out when he is finished. You don't want your son living with you when he is 30 years old because to me it looks like thats where you are headed. You also need to think about your marriage it's not looking so good right now. I can promise you right now by making this decision on being more strict on your son you will see a big difference there will be no more fighting and both you and your husband will go back to the way it was before your son started making bad decisions.
Best of luck
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Things can be tough with teenagers. It sounds like your son is acting out. Usually, this can stem from other things that may be bothering him and he is not sure how to express them. Then again, he could just be a really stubborn teenager. There is a technique called "tough love" and it is harder on the parents to implement than the child. You have to find a way to put your foot down with your son. It sounds as if, in his mind, he feels he can get away with being insubordinate. It is important that you and your husband are on the same team. Sometimes that is very hard to do. I would also suggest counseling of some sort. Sometimes in a step-child - step-parent relationship, a lack of respect seems to be tolerated. A family counsler can mediate and try to find solutions that work for all three of you.
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