My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
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Last Update: February 17, 2009
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okay so me and my boyfriend have been on and off lately weve madeout but nothing serious. i told him i wanted to wait a while before sex but he wants to do things still and hes getting pissed any little things or ideas you can give me to help my situation. becaise im used to waiting but not him help me pleaseee ill rate you good if you help me quickly (link)
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I applaud your decision to wait before having sex, but I don't understand why your boyfriend is pressurising you into performing acts on him. If he cared about you he would wait also.
However, that said, to answer your question - hand jobs are a good place to start. A warm massage to begin with before going lower... Do an erotic dance without removing all your clothes (ie down to a bikini) are two to begin with. Practise safe sex at all times please (you can still get warts on your fingers if he has them), all the best.
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ok im 14 my boifriend is 16 which means he will be 18 when im 16 can he go to jail cause im under age and should i break up with him till i get older (link)
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I guess that your question is about underage sex. Yes he could end up in jail if you are caught having sex now. You don't necessarily need to break up with your boyfriend, you just need to make sure that you do not have sex with him. Hope that answers your question ok, if not please let me know.
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Hello, I'm from the UK and have finished 2 years of Construction at college, I got my results yesterday which were excellent! I have been told to write to the council to find a job with them however I don't know what to write exactly. My college course consisted of around 15 constructional subjects so there is a wide variety of jobs for me to go into, however I favour the position of Building Surveying. Thanks in advance (link)
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Firstly, I suggest that you do a little research into which council you want to work for. Then establish which department would be suitable to write to. Finally, find out the name of the head of that department and write to them directly.
The letter should go along the lines of who you are and what qualifications you have. Then a little background information into what it is you want to do and ask for their advice as to where you go from there.
Alternatively, go back to the college you studied at and ask them if they have a system in place which would help you look for a job.
Make sure you have a CV ready for printing that includes your previous jobs, qualifications and aspirations. The best way to do this is to follow a CV written out by someone else. You can get CV writers in the UK but they will cost you money.
I hope that it all works out well for you. Good luck.
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I met a guy at the beginning of the summer and we've been spending a lot of time together... almost every day. I'm a virgin but I'm ready to have sex (save the sex speeches please, im 17 and i can make my own decisions) and I really want to with him.... i like him a lot and he likes me a lot. The other night we were getting pretty close... and he said "its up to you". After hearing him say this and knowing that it could really happen made me think... and kind of nervous. He's leaving in less than a month and he goes to school thousands of miles away. There's a chance I may never see him again... and if i did it wouldn't be for, like, a year. It makes me sad to think he's leaving and we can't be anything more than we are... and I'm wondering if sex would just make me even more emotional about it. Can I hear your thoughts and/or stories? Thanks! (link)
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This is a difficult one to answer but here goes:
Would you regret it more if you did have sex with him and never saw him again, or would you regret losing your virginity to him and never seeing him again? That's a tough one to answer isn't it?
My personal opinion on this would be to not go all the way with him simply because I believe you would regret it. I know you are saying you are ready but because you have doubts I think you should listen to what your head is telling you.
My own situation is very different to yours - I have never had sex with another man other than my husband and I have not regretted it for a moment. However, that does not stop me wondering what it would be like with someone else, but it is something that I would never do because I believe in total monogamy.
Everyone is different and only you can tell whether or not you would regret it. I hope that you make the right decision for you. Good luck.
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sry i didnt know under what category to put this :S
and i know this is a weird question but i've been wondering.
but i wa sjust wondering that when a pretty girl walks down the street the guys in the cars look right? ok so when I personally walk down the street they DO look at me as well. pretty much every single one. but then there is the beeping thing. do they beep at girls who are good looking or at girls who look like they're ready to do stuff and look kinda slutty.
cos i actually thought they would NOT beep at girls who look extreamly good and confident and like they have 'high standarts' if you know what i mean.
cos as i said they do look at me but i dont get beeped at often. all in all i only got beeped at 5 times or smth. [in about a year :S]
and i guess i look more like a girl who wouldnt exactly be happy about getting beeped at.
sorry i dont wanna offend you and say that you look slutty if you get beeped at though. [but think about it, do you wear minnie skirts etc? that doesnt mean youre slutty but you show SKIN]
but is it true that they're more likely to beep at a slutty girl then a confident/pretty looking girl cos they might have more respect?
sorry this might be the weirdest question ever i realise that myself so dont tell me I have issues :S
thank youu xxx (link)
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My personal opinion is that the guys are beeping to show their appreciation of a pretty girl in sexy looking clothes. I doubt if they are thinking about how slutty they are but just how much they have brightened up that moment for them.
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I'm 14 and a half. I get massssive discharge, especially in a certian pair of pannies. anyway, my sister got hers in 7th. my mom got it in 6th my other sister in 7th. Why Haven't i got it yet.
so ttwo questions.
1. why dont i have it
2. how come in one certain pair i get more discharge? (link)
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1. Everyone is different and will get their periods when their bodies are ready. You should only start worrying if you haven't started within the next two to three years. Ask your Mum to take you to see a gynae doctor if it really concerns you now. They will be able to reassure you.
2. You may notice a lot more discharge if your panties are a different colour to all the rest. Or the material may absorb the discharge differently. For example a pair of cotton panties will react differently to a pair of nylon ones. My suggestion for you here is to ask your Mum to buy some discreet panty liners and use them daily. Sometimes changing them twice a day will help keep you feeling fresh.
All the best.
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I feel like all my friends are moving on without me, and while I keep in touch with their lives online, none of them seem to be in communication with me for too long.
I keep trying to get together with them, and spend time with them, and I know that they're busy, but I feel like I'm not important anymore. I'm prone to depression already, and I'm worried I'm sabotaging my life by trying so hard. But at the same time, I try hard because honestly, my friends are as important to me as anything.
Someone, tell me how to make myself important to my friends. I've tried my hardest to always be there and help out, and I'm not sure if it's helping me at all. (link)
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I know you feel that you ought to keep in touch with all yours friends, but life changes all the time and sometimes you have to let go. The important friends in your life will still want to stay in touch, even if it is only by email. Those that drift away have touched your life at the right time and now you need to allow others into your life at this time.
It is sad when you lose touch and will spend years wondering "what if? or "what are they doing now?". There are some great sites on the internet now that you can dip in and out of to catch up if your friends are signed up to them.
Don't beat yourself up with trying to stay in touch, make the effort every now and again but if you get no response it is time to move on. You cannot make yourself so vital in everyone's life that they feel they can't live without you. You have to accept that sometimes friends also need to move on in their lives. Other people (ie: wives, children etc.) become more important to them.
You sound a great person and I hope that you realise soon that you touch everyone you meet, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem to you. I hope I helped in some small way. I wish you all the best.
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for the last few days, i've been having yellow greenish big "snotty" clumps come out my vagina periodically
it hasn't started being irritated until tonight. it's a little stingy. not really itchy yet
i look up symptoms for yeast infection and that doesn't sound like it matches
i've been having really bad sick to my stomach aches lately if that connects to it
my boyfriend has stuck his hand down there a couple times. i usually make sure his hands or clean. but i remember last friday i don't think i made him wash his hands before it...but i think this had been happened before it
hm let's just say it looks like you have had a really bad cold and you snot rocket on a tissue. yeah
whats wrong with me?!
i hate the gynocologist =/ and i can't let my mom find out what me and my boyfriend have been doing
14/f
thanks in advance! (link)
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As always with this sort of question, the best advice anyone can give you is to go and see a professional for treatment should you require it. You should never hesitate to get help where your health is concerned. Don't worry about your mum finding out because your doctor is bound by confidentiality. Alternatively, I suggest you go to a sexual health clinic for help. They are used to dealing with this kind of thing and will not judge you or betray your confidence.
Please don't leave this to chance because it may affect your general health and your fertility. All the best.
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My husband of 3 years keeps subjecting me to social gatherings with his ex-inlaws. The latest was over the 4th of July. He said we were going over to some friends house that live nearby, then instead he drove us over to the ex-inlaws house for a party. I am not comfortable being around his ex-wife or her family since she has made it clear she would like to get back together with him. I have also explained my feelings to him in the past and yet he continues to do this to me. I am very hurt and angry. What should I do? (link)
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You really need to get through to him that his behavious is unacceptable. He may well care a great deal about his ex in-laws but he should not be forcing you to have anything to do with them. Try and sit down with him without losing your cool and tell him that whilst you appreciate his (perhaps misguided) loyalty to them, you are his wife now and he should be listening to how you are feeling. Failing that, write it all down in a letter and make him sit and read it. As for his ex wife, their marriage was a failure and she should not be interfering with yours. Tell her to back off. I hope it goes well with you. Take care.
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Okay, I really need help with this one. I've been dating my boyfriend now for two years. Lately, every time we walk around he's constantly staring at every girl that walks by. I had said something to him. (at this time we were currently on vacation in Atlantic City. So I said to him, If yu here trying to have a good time with me, then why are yu paying attention to so many others. He went off on me and starting calling me imature and stuff. Well I decided I'll just ignore it when he looks, I mean he has been with me and only me for two years. But the other day, we were at Giant and I was looking at this one dude. He saw me and kept saying I was staring at him and crap. He was laughin about it tryin to make it seem like he really didnt care, but i know he did. He was telling everyone about it. It was so pathetic. So what should I do about me looking and him looking. Don't say anything like yu two are too imature for a relationship, because we're not breaking up over something little like this, i love him way too much. Thank yu! (link)
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Looking and appreciating other people is not the problem. It is the insecurity you are both feeling at the moment. You each need to understand that just because you look at other people appreciatively does not mean that you actually want to go with them. You have two years together and sometimes relationships do go a little stale. The best advice I can give is to sit down together and talk this through. Give each other the chance to explain how they feel when the other looks at someone else. Explore the possibility that you need to inject a little bit of mystique and romance back into your relationship. Above all, try not to get angry and possessive about this. Good luck.
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There's that saying, "Behind every hot girl, there is a guy who's tired of f*cking her"?
Well, what is a girl to do when it gets to that point?
My boyfriend and I been together for a few years now, and honestly, I've been getting prettier and prettier. So I know sex and looks aren't going to sell here.
My biggest fear is that he's going to (or already has) cheat on me, just because he wants something new. It doesn't matter that he has the girl that everyone wants; he just wants something else.
I don't know what to do. It's like there is nothing left to talk about. We're "all talked out". What kind of new things should I do, or that we should do together (not sexually)?
I don't want for us to separate, but it's like we've reached a plateau and we're going nowhere. How the hell do I save my relationship?
Or if you are in a marriage, how do you as a couple keep from staying bored? (link)
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Sometimes the hardest, and the best, thing to do is walk away with your head held high.
I have been with my partner for 32 years and believe me it has been tough at times. I can only say that mutual respect and understanding keep our marriage strong, but ultimately it is the knowledge that my husband loves me completely. Yes there are always times when you think is the grass greener on the other side and maybe life could be more exciting. I would never want to inflict that pain on him ever and if your partner truly loved you, he wouldn't do it to you.
If a relationship has run it's course then there will be nothing that can be done to save it. The best advice I can give you is to make an "appointment" with your boyfriend to sit down together and discuss where you see yourselves in 3/5/10 years time. You both need to be honest with each other and discuss your feelings about each other and ask him to be totally honest with you about whether or not he has cheated.
On the question of how to keep a relationship alive: keep talking to each other, occasionally surprise each other with little gifts or notes. Maybe a surprise picnic or outing somewhere. Never keep your feelings bottled up but discuss them together.
I hope that I have managed to answer your questions, but if you want to ask me more, please let me know. I wish the very best.
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I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago and now hes with somebody else and they are really in love and kissing each other and cuddling each other all the tim and when i see them i remeber that it used to be me that he did that to.
He was the only boyfriend that i ever really loved
i just want him back.
what should i do?
Thanks x (link)
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There is absolutely nothing you can do about your ex dating another girl. You could play the waiting game and wait for them to split up, or you could go out and meet someone else yourself. If you are meant to be a couple you will get together at some point in the future. Please don't force the situation because you may make him come to hate you. All I can suggest if you are serious about wanting him back is to remain quietly in the background and bide your time whilst staying a good friend. Good luck.
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Im 13 i dont have a dad he left 4 years ago. Im not close with my family no matter how hard I try to be. Things are getting bad with my mom. Shes compulsive. Shes obsessed with her house. For example if i need something (clothes, things for school which i dont ask for these things alot) she always says she doesnt have the money yet she bought a $3500 floor & now shes getting our entire outside of the house done. And she just got a new floor 3 months ago and the outside of the house redone last summer. Shes just blowing money she claims she doesnt have. I cant live at home cuz she yells at me for everything. If i walk on the carpet after she vacums i get yelled at & its the same thing if i get finger prints on the mirror. its stupid. And im sick of being yelled at all night and day. Sometimes she starts with me at like 2:00 in the morning. I cant live with her & sometimes she comes into the room yelling at me & doesnt tell me wat i did wrong. My friends agree that shes compulsive. & i dont know who to turn to cuz my entire family always takes her side. I dont know wat to do. She hits me sometimes but not all the time. I cry in a closet frequently because things are getting worse by the day. i try to stay at a friends house but she yells more. i dont no wat 2 do now. (link)
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You really need to find an adult that you can confide in. If you have a family member you could go to, please talk to them. If not, do you have a school counsellor or a favourite teacher? I suggest that you go and talk to them as soon as you can. It may be that your Mum needs professional help with her compulsions and without help they may get worse.
I know that it will be difficult to talk to other people about your Mum, but you need help and you need guidance on how to help her.
Please go and see someone as soon as you can and please don't worry about your Mum's reaction because she may not realise how bad things are for you.
I wish you all the best and life does get better as you get older and more in control of your own destiny.
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13/F
Ok so you know that spot in her butt crack where it ends ands and then your back begins?
Ok well I bleed there
Like alot
In that little round ditch thing in your but crack
It started like a year ago
And I had a friend sleepover yesterday and she was pushing me on a swing, I fell off, and I could feel ANTOHER holey spot open up in the area
When I woke up today I had blood on my underwear in that spot and dried blood in the hair in the area
What is it?
'Cause its really annoying (link)
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The only way to be absolutely sure about what it may be is to go to the doctors. Please don't be shy about letting a female doctor have a look. That way she can assess what is happening advise on any necessary treatment. It is not worth risking your health about something that is obviously bothering you. Good luck.
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Where do i get them.I dont want my parents to know i take them though cause then they'll ask me about sex..which is why i want to ge themjust in case??? (link)
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Family planning clinics or your doctors will be able to help you out. I know it's not easy to talk to your parents but if you have someone you could confide in it would help you make up your mind.
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i am completelyyy in love with my boyfriend. i know this for a fact and am not afraid to say it ! so i have a few questions i hope i can get solid honest answers to. i admit to being very unexperienced, but hey, you have to start somewhere.
1) we are both virgins, does this mean we can't get an STD?
2) when giving him head, do i HAVE to swallow?
3) also when giving him head, would a condom be useful?
4) i hate asking this but it has to be asked: wtf do i do with the pubic hair on both me and him?
haha thanks (link)
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1) If you are both virgins then you should not get an STD but never say never - always take precautions.
2) No you do not have to swallow.
3) If you feel that a condom would make you feel less nauseous/cringing or uncomfortable, then use one - it is your choice.
4) Not a nice idea to get one in your mouth but just spit it out, and when giving head just move them out the way.
Just a word of caution though - always make sure that you both have clean nails/hands and private parts.
All relevant questions - if you don't ask you don't know. All the best.
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ok so i was txting my friend (shes about to b my step cousin) and she said she had a docters appointment and i said ohh why? and i sorta kept bugging her cuz it was bugging me and she goes: (my name) please nobody knows about thin except me my mom and my dad okay.
and i really wanna know!! shes 15
what do u think? (link)
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She is obviously not ready to share this information with you and I suggest you back off and give her some space.
Let her know that you are there for her should she need support but please respect her privacy in this matter.
If and when she is ready to share whatever it is don't judge her in any way. Good friends accept that sometimes you do not get to know everything all the time.
Be that friend now and let it drop until she is ready. All the best.
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i've recently had itching in my vagina and it stings when i go pee.. what are those the symptoms of? (link)
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I am not medically trained but it sounds like thrush to me. I suggest that you make an appointment with your doctor for a professional opinion.
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im sixteen & ive had a boyfriend for six months, i know im in love with him and i really just want to have sex, not just because he asks me to but because i really just want it, for some reason i just havent done it yet maybe because im scared i might get like pregnant because my mom wont let me get birth control, obv hes going to wear a condom, and i knoww he doesnt have any diseases so do u think im safe to have sex? (link)
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It is very sensible to think this through and take your time. I would suggest that you try and get an appointment at Family Planning for contraceptive advice with or without your parents knowledge. Definitely use a condom every time regardless but make absolutely certain it is what you want. Take care.
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I have this thing with my parents having sex when i am home its never happened but i am always it will. they havent done it for awhile i knwo this for a fact. but this all started when i went through my moms inbox & my dad her were sending txt messages that said " do me" "blow me" "lick me" i comfronted my mom about this & she said it was a joke but now i have grown father apart. i just dont know what to do i balled my eyes out i can tell you this. PLEASE HELP!! what do i do do i tell her it still upsets me? (link)
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I totally agree with Southern-Chickety's advice. It is none of your business what your parents get up to in private and you have no right to question her about it. You certainly had no business going through their personal things. Imagine if your Mum went through your personal things. I suggest that you apologise to her for invading her privacy.
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