|
My Mom Is Crazy
Im 13 i dont have a dad he left 4 years ago. Im not close with my family no matter how hard I try to be. Things are getting bad with my mom. Shes compulsive. Shes obsessed with her house. For example if i need something (clothes, things for school which i dont ask for these things alot) she always says she doesnt have the money yet she bought a $3500 floor & now shes getting our entire outside of the house done. And she just got a new floor 3 months ago and the outside of the house redone last summer. Shes just blowing money she claims she doesnt have. I cant live at home cuz she yells at me for everything. If i walk on the carpet after she vacums i get yelled at & its the same thing if i get finger prints on the mirror. its stupid. And im sick of being yelled at all night and day. Sometimes she starts with me at like 2:00 in the morning. I cant live with her & sometimes she comes into the room yelling at me & doesnt tell me wat i did wrong. My friends agree that shes compulsive. & i dont know who to turn to cuz my entire family always takes her side. I dont know wat to do. She hits me sometimes but not all the time. I cry in a closet frequently because things are getting worse by the day. i try to stay at a friends house but she yells more. i dont no wat 2 do now.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Kittzen's speaking,
Listen sweetheart, i don't have a dad either never met him and don't you say i am luck cause i am not. i don't have a mother either i disowned her after all the terrible things she did. but it seems to me you got to find that father or yours and see if you can live with, but if he's on her side to thatn that won't work or amybe it will i don't know i never met you family.
What you need to do is get a summer job tell her you're doing this to take moore responsible and all that. that will keep you away from her and it will give you extrat cash but, the real and very important thing you need to do is try to understand why she is doing this.
See it from her point of view, very hard to do but try. that you got to sit her down and talk to her one on one don't let her get up and leave, don't let her push you down and make you cry this time tell her it all and make sure she listens. Or write her a letter and tell her everthing. remember showing some tears can wake your mom up.
Also just try to make her see it from your point of view, your mom might also be lonely so do as much for her as possible, but what ever happens just try to be yourself and tell her the truth.
Best wishes on this and if you need more help come to my colum,
Kittzen
]
Your mom sounds exactly like my mom when I was growing up. My mom has Bipolar II disorder. I think your mom might have a mental disorder like bipolar or depression and your dad leaving could easily cause it. If she does have a mental disorder, then telling her how you feel and reasoning with her will be impossible. The illness would prevent her from listening to you. I would suggest talking to an adult relative, friend, school counselor or neighbor or your friend's parents...some adult about the possibility of your mom having a mental disorder. Then you can make a plan to do an intervention of some sort so your mom can see a therapist and doctor. You could also write your mom a letter (so she can't yell at you) telling her how you feel and how worried you are about her, and how you think she may be depressed. A misconception about depression is that it only involves crying, but that's not true. Everyone in my family yells a lot and gets mean when they're depressed. When they're not depressed, they act perfectly normal. Please don't blame yourself for your mom's behavior, and don't try and ask why she does this. I'm pretty sure she's just depressed, and you unfortunately get the blunt of it. Hang in there. There is hope for your mom to get better. Try and be understanding. I know it's hard. I've been there too, but you're a smart person. Look up depression and bipolar disorder. I think it will help you to not resent your mom during this time. I know it doesn't seem like it, but she needs you now more than ever. She would be devastated if you left her like your dad did. I know you're only 13 and having to take care of your mom instead of the other way around is a lot to place on someone so young. I know it's hard, but there is hope that your mom can get better if she gets on medication and sees a therapist. Don't blame yourself, you've done nothing wrong. If you need a break and need to go to a friends house, DO IT! Your mom may yell at you for it, but you need breaks from this environment and you need outside help to deal with this. Don't worry about your relationship with the rest of your family. Just focus on the mental health of yourself and your mom. If your family refuses to help you, use your friend's parents. It may not seem like it right now, but keep in mind that your mom does love you. She can't express it due to her mental problems, but she loves you. I know this from personal experience as well. Try to do what is right for you and your mom, regardless of what your mom thinks. Use your head and your intuition. Your mom can't think logically now, so you have to be the logical one. Hang in there. You're a smart girl. It will get better. I'm giving you lots of hugs. Remember, it's okay to cry sometimes.
]
Try and talk to her about it. catch her when she's in an okay mood and ask her to go out to eat and talk to her then. maybe she really doesnt realise what she's doing to you.
and you could also try getting your friends parents to talk to her maybe?
hope i helped a little.
good luck xoxo
]
You really need to find an adult that you can confide in. If you have a family member you could go to, please talk to them. If not, do you have a school counsellor or a favourite teacher? I suggest that you go and talk to them as soon as you can. It may be that your Mum needs professional help with her compulsions and without help they may get worse.
I know that it will be difficult to talk to other people about your Mum, but you need help and you need guidance on how to help her.
Please go and see someone as soon as you can and please don't worry about your Mum's reaction because she may not realise how bad things are for you.
I wish you all the best and life does get better as you get older and more in control of your own destiny.
]
More Questions: |