I live in Central Wisconsin. I am married and we have two daughters. In 1997 I earned my degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. In my spare time I study psychology and philosophy.
Gender: Male
Location: Stevens Point, WI
Occupation: Phlebotomy Coordinator (Clinical Laboratory)
Age: 35
Member Since: October 19, 2005
Answers: 118
Last Update: January 24, 2010
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Im 16f. I have one brother that is eighteen in December and one sister that is 10. Anyhow, my brother just graduated and is the jerk of the house. He is the troublemaker, he bums around the house most days, backtalks, blasts his music, does what most teenage boys do. He does have a job now that he goes to most days which is a plus on my behalf. Hes not around much anymore so hes not really a problem to me now.
But, My sister is a momma's baby, she talks to my mom as if she is still three most of the time, my mom is her personal chef and waitress when she is around, and she gets her way practically all the time. Heres where the main problem comes in, i'll give an example of something that actually happened: My sister accidently hits me with a tennis ball she is throwing around, and in defense i say "hey". My mom gives me heck because I 'yelled' at my sister, and then my sister goes 'haha' and so i gently bump her on her butt. Then my sister throws a fit (she gets mad instantly sometimes when she is tired) and starts hitting me with the tennis ball, so i grab her hand so she cant hit me, which ends up in me getting yelled at for holding her hands.
Its just so frustrating when i get in trouble for stuff i didnt do. My mom said i was backtalking to her today and got a bit frustrated at me, when she asked if i knew where the remote was and i said 'no. I havnt used it all day'.
My sister never gets in trouble because she is the youngest and my brother just gets told 'not to do something' even though he just does it again a while later.
It just gets on my nerves. I try ignoring my sister when she does have her 'tired/mad' times, but she usually ends up smacking me and then i have to hold her hands, if you know what I mean.
What things can i try to show my mom that she is really the instigator, and im just defending myself. (link)
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This will sound too simple to try, but try it a few times:
When your sister "acts out", don't "react" to her. Instead, go to your mother and in a calm, grown-up, reasonable voice, ask: "[Little sister} just [describe behavior]. How do you recommend I handle it?"
You've accomplished several things:
1. You didn't match action for action, which is what a child would have done.
2. You've put your mother in a position to teach you how to respond to your little sister's behavior, which will make her feel like you still need her wisdom and advice.
3. You've definitely shown yourself to be mature rather than immature.
4. If your mother gives you advice on how to respond to your sister, and you follow it diligently, your mother cannot hold you responsible for the consequences. After all, you're only doing what she told you.
Right now, you're letting your little sister and mother call the shots. They are in control, because you always react to their behavior, rather than making them react to yours. If you go to your mom for advice, and sound reasonable enought that she takes you seriously, then you are the one in control, and both your sister and mom have to react to your reasonable, mature behavior.
Let me know how it goes!
Regards,
Dr. Chad
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How can you Love Yourself....but NOT be conceited? (link)
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It's the difference between loving yourself as you are and loving yourself for who other people thing you are.
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I have a step brother that is 5 and we see him alot since incidentally we live next door to my dad and step mom (weird i no...) and every time he sees my mom pull in the drive way he shouts her name and only wants her and ignors me. same with if he is playing with my brother he only wants him. I dont know if he doesnt like me or what? What can i do so he will want me instead? (link)
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Your step brother is seeking a mother figure, and for some reason sees it in your mom rather than in his mom. You can't compete with that and shouldn't try to. On the other hand, you can be a sister to him, as long as you know your place in his life. Be his sister, not his mother. He is lucky to have a step-sister who loves him enough to post this question.
Dr. Chad
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16/f
Okay I get nervous very easily, and when I give reports in school my hands start to shake and I talk really fast. What I'm asking is there anyway to improve my nerves? I really need to because the career I went to pursue (lawyer) requires a lot of talking, and I can't be doing that in court lol, very unprofessional! Help! (link)
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Warning: the following statement is a cliche:
Everyone is nervous about speaking in front of others.
Okay, now for the TRUTH, from someone who has lived it: When you have experience talking in front of people, and when you are CONFIDENT and KNOW you subject matter, it's MUCH easier to talk in front of people, because you speak with AUTHORITY, and authority is king in the public forum.
So, the ugly, icky solution to your problem is, unfortunately: You need to seek out opportunities to speak in front of people! It isn't just a matter of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable: the real gift is when you find your "voice", and speak through that voice when you are speaking publicly. That voice is a reflection of your confidence, which springs from your mastery of the subject. So, the first step is to master the subject, and the second step is to practice expounding on that subject. Speak publicly whenever you can. It's a habit like anything else.
Dr. Chad
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I am 30 years old, female, and I have been married for 10 years. We have two children, ages 7 and 8. I love my husband and I would describe our relationship as a good one.
My problem is I think about my ex boyfriend. A lot. As in every day a lot. Where this starts to become strangely pathetic is the fact that I haven't seen him or had contact with him in 13 years. He was my boyfriend my junior year of high school. It was a very emotionally intense relationship, as teenage relationships are wont to be. Our relationship ended when he dumped me, and I (being 17 and completely emotional) was heartbroken. I got married when I was 20, and I dated a few guys between this ex and my husband. I never give any of the others a second thought.
It really bothers me that I still think about him so much, especially after SO MUCH time has gone by. I know they say you never forget your first love, but this has become beyond ridiculous. I'm far too humiliated to admit this to any of my friends and family. This may sound trivial, but it's become a minor form of torture and is interfering with my life and peace. Please tell me, what can I do to stop this stupidity?
(link)
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Begin by asking yourself how your ex-boyfriend differs from your husband. I believe you when you say you have a good relationship with your husband. But every spouse has shortcomings (to be sure, your husband could name shortcoming in you!). You must understand that this ex-boyfriend no longer resembles the person you dated thirteen years ago. He, just as you, has grown from his experiences, met new people, developed in his career, etc., and is not the same personality you retain in your memory. My guess is that you have a misgiving about some shortcoming in your husband, and the version of this ex-boyfriend that persists in your memory succeeds where your husband fails. I recommend that you focus on your husband, either accept his shortcoming, or try to get him to understand where he could stand to improve. Never make the mistake that you are accomplished enough to make unsolicited recommendations for improvement to others. However, with love and tact, and perhaps subtlety, you can gently nudge your husband in the direction you desire. Never underestimate the power of sharing your feelings with him. A little straight-forward talk can go a long way, as long as it's phrased lovingly.
Dr. Chad
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okay so i am 14 years old and a girl.
I know that im a teenager and im going to feel sad and angry for no reason, but it seems like it might be more than that.
and i cant be depressed for attention because when im around people i just put on a smile.
My parents are going through a lot right now (my mother is in full time nursing school) and its kind of my job to keep the house running. I do the chores and just kind of stay out of her way.
But i feel like im sad 99.999% of the time. I smile and act happy around other people because they all expect me to be the glue that keeps everything together.
I feel angry because id say my life is pretty good, i have a decent amount of money and i live in a good town and everything and i feel like i should be happy but im not.
I joined theater and track, but i cant do my best in those either because i feel my sadness is weighing me down.
I think im just feeling neglected by everyone. I do cut myself, but not the way you see in movies. I just do it because i like the after effect if that makes sense.
I want to get help because im afraid ill turn to drugs and sex to deal with my problems but im scared if i tell my mom she will think she failed with me and i would hate that.
what should i do??? (link)
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Ok, so it's not hormones/adolescense.
Perhaps you're not happy because you resent the burden of pretending to be happy all the time.
Perhaps you resent the burden of keeping the house running and filling your mother's shoes while she goes to school (ostensibly filling your shoes as a student).
I can't help noticing that in your message, first you say you can't be depressed for attention, but later on you say you feel neglected by everyone. Am I misunderstanding you? People you feel neglected also feel the need for attention. And by the way, the desire for attention is normal. Everyone wants to be interesting, or important, to other people.
The type of people who "turn to drugs and sex to deal with their problems" don't premeditate these actions. If you're concerned you might take this destructive path to get the attention you deserve, chances are you will only do it as a last resort, ie. if all other attempts to get people to realize you're hurting fail.
I really don't know what advice to give you, so these are just some thoughts and reactions. Please feel welcome to submit another question if we're on the right track.
Dr. Chad
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Good-Day Dr_Chad
Of course I've come to you with a question, a question I didn't want to ask anyone I knew personally.
You see, I'm 19 going on 20 soon and I babysit 5 boys, who are all brothers of one another and I adore them and they love having me watch them. I've watched them for about a year and a half. The Family is wonderful. They've came to my past HS Graduation party, came to my grandfather's funeral and I've gone to funerals of their relatives. They've become very close. The mother(Christine), is a stay at home mom, but is out a lot. She's very nice, we talk about a lot, what's going on in my life, etc. and the Father(Justin), is a Doctor, very nice too, he's taught me pool, let me borrow books many, helped me study for exams, we talk a lot, we joke around and laugh and also on Thursday's I meet him at the Pool Hall. Justin's NEVER bothered me(harass or such things), I enjoy every time we hangout. He's one of the only people who really acknowledges my "intelligence", not that I'm trying to seem conceded, but I know I'm smart in my own way, that I'm more mature than a good percent of people who are older than me.
For the passed year(or more) I've had Dreams about Justin. I've never had an intimate sexual thing in the dreams, but they were flirtatious in a way, we're hanging out "closer". Only once has Christine been in the dream, but in that one dream she was with us (me and Justin) but she ended up just leaving and getting drunk.
the passed 2 weeeks, He's appeared in my dreams 3 times. and each time I've woken up in a good mood. and I wanted to remember my dream.
Is this bad? That I'm dreaming of a married man (A lot)?
I really hope you can clear this up for me.
Thank You So Much.
_Melissa
(link)
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Dear Melissa,
You enjoy your time with Justin, and you like the way you feel about yourself when you're with him. You clearly also like him for the person he is. I find it perfectly natural that you are having some intimate feelings for him. You may have denied yourself those feelings--not acknowledged them or addressed them inwardly--so that these unexamined, unresolved feelings are surfacing in your dreams. If you awaken and remember the dream and are in a good mood, that's all the motivation your dreams need to produce another Justin dream. Hence the increase in frequency of those dreams.
Your question at the end--Is this bad--perplexes me. It doesn't have the ring of authenticity . . . I don't think it's the question you wanted to ask. You don't need someone to tell you whether a dream is good or bad. Dreams aren't judged moral or immoral, because we don't have any control over them. Unless you meant bad as in your dream indicates your subconsious adulterous intentions towards him, and if that's the case, you're reading way too much into your dreams. People are judged by their actions, not their dreams. Unless you're thinking of seducing him, nothing bad can come of your harmless and pleasurable dreams of him.
My advice is that you continue to honor the good friendship that you have with this doctor and father of the five wonderful boys you babysit. And, hopefully, you continue to have dreams that leave you in a good mood the next morning. ;)
Dr. Chad
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How can i relax? I've tried breathing exercises and stuff like that and writing down all the things that stress me out (which isn't much), but they don't really help. the only time i really feel relaxed is when im by myself at a park or someplace like on vacation =) but who doesn't?
I also can never 'be in the moment.' like.. I'm just not IN it. i don't really know how to explain it but once i heard soemone say they felt that way too and it was like "watching yourself in 3rd person." or whatever. I don't feel completely like that but sometimes it does.. & it feels like i just can't focus.
It's not terribly bad, but I was wondering what can I do to stop feeling that way? (link)
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You're trying to achieve a mental state that no one can describe for you. Since you think that someone else's description of this experience is something you can strive to accomplish, you have failed before you've begun.
Instead of trying to match some one else's mental state, just simplify, simplify, and sit still, listen to your breath, in, out, . . . in . . . out . . . . . . in . . . . . . . . out . . . . . . . slowly, regulary, . . . . . . . . in . . . . . out, follow your breath . . . .. . allow your breath to become your state of mind. That's key. Your present experience, your state of mind, is all about your breath, and nothing but your breath. The breath is not important, but if you follow it with concentration, you aren't following anything else.
Of course, now I'm describing a state of mind you can't obtain because it's a state of mind that I've obtained.
Meditation is as personal as thought.
The only guideline I can give you is to sit still, and sit regularly, and I know the rest will come. It will be authentic, as all mental states are. Stop trying to obtain something that someone else has described. Write your own script.
Dr. Chad
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I'm 15/f.
I have no friends.
I had a tight group of friends last year, but for some reason they started to distance themselves from me & all became really close just the three of them, & I don't have anyone else that I hang out with.
I talk to a lot of people at school, but no one would just randomly ask me to hang out--most of them assume I'm still friends with the same people I was last year.
I've never had a boyfriend, or a guy show any interest in me.
I hate my body & the way I look.
Ever since school started, I have been crying myself to sleep every night. Especially because it's hard to see my old friends acting like nothing's wrong, saying hello to me but nothing else.
My mom and dad keep telling me to try to make friends, or tell my old friends that I'd like to hang out with them again, but it's too hard. Not to mention embarassing.
I messaged two of those friends on myspace saying basically, anytime you're free if you want to call me, I'm always available.
One said oh yeah, we will.
& the other didn't respond.
So now I think they probably talk about it & laugh at me.
& I know those aren't the friends you want to have but, they really were good friends & we had a good time.
I don't know how to get through three years of high school with no friends.
I've started cutting myself.
I think about killing myself a lot, but I can't do it because it would crush my parents.
That's the only thing keeping me going, is that my mom would blame herself or something & I couldn't do that to her.
I don't know what to do.
But I can't take this anymore. (link)
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Your friends are your world.
And they've rejected you.
There is nothing anyone can say
that will dampen the pain you feel.
They have treated you like crap.
What do parents know, right?
They aren't sophomores.
Listen.
I'm not a sophomore either.
I'm thirty-three years old.
But I know this...
You're new friends will be
you're new world.
It hurts that the friends
you cared for last year
have ignored you this year
But you must
find
the
strength
To ask some of the people
you talk to
to hang out with you.
Why should you wait for
other people to ask you
to hang out?
You are cool,
and when you know that,
other people want to hang with you.
Go for it!!!!!
Dr. Chad
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okay this is like somethingg i really need advice on and the more the better..
story:
okay so my grandmas neighbors who my whole family is really close with and have been my whole life. okay well the sonn has been getting in alot of trouble recentaly. for DWI, overdosing on pills and the whole nine. well today when i was over my grandma's the police brought him home bc he has aniexty pills and had taken an entire bottle in one day adn left the house to go to a friends house, and his mom called the cops to find him and stuff. bc they were worryed bc he has been threating sucide and everything. like today when he got home his mom was telling him that hes gonna die if he keeps doing this and he goes death is what im hoping for he alway had taken 120 pills in a matter of 5 dayss. its badd.
now a little background on the kid
he was adoptedd. bc his parents didnt think they'd be able to have kids. but a few years later they did they had 2 girls. his dads a police officer so he was rarely ever home. and being that the 2 girls were her actual kids his mom paid a little more attention to her daughters then to him. but he never new he was adopted adn to this day im not 100% sure if he nos for sure. bc his parents never told him. when he was younger he had a hell of alot going for him he was a crazy good runner he could of went to any college he wanted, but he ended up getting mixed in with some bad ppl andd all that went down the drain. his mom also is having an affair. nobodyyy really noes about it but my grandma and like my family. but i think he might have found out about it. but idk
now what i need advice on..
okay soo i think all he really needs is someone to talk to bc one when you wanna comit sucide you dont keep saying your gonna do it you just do it. and his whole life hes never really had some there to talk to. like he just doesnt need someone theree saying DONT DO IT DONT DO IT. he just needs someone to sit there and listen to what he has to say, not a physcitrist or anything like that. like a real normal kid. and like honestly i would and i want to bc thats what he needs but the issue is hes 22. im 15. butt mature for my age the problem is im never aroudn him just me and him its always with his family and mine. and like id never have opprountiy to. so does any one have any idea on how i can go about thiss.
thankk you soo much in advance and for readingg all thiss. (link)
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Actually he needs a counselor/therapist/psychiatrist. You're taking too much on. Your friend needs so much more guidance than you or I could give. Please just be patient and hope he seeks/gets the help he needs. I'm sorry I couldn't offer you the magical advice that would allow you to help him. Believe me, I know the rewarding feeling that comes from helping someone, and you care about him. If anything, do what you can to promote the idea of him obtaining professional help.
Dr. Chad
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for a while now i have been feeling very tired all the time. I am a very talkative person and i act happy around most people. however i have no interest to do a lot of things except watch TV. Everything makes me sad and like i will get really sad about absolutely nothing. i mean im happy sometimes but lately i have been even sadder. I cry at night but i dont really know why. I kind of cut my wrists but i dont actually make them bleed i just kind of irritate them with scissors because i like the feeling after, it makes the sadness kind of go away temporarily. Nothing that could hurt me though.
Am i depressed or not?
14/f btw. (link)
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You aren't depressed. One of the problems with our present culture is that kids are exposed to so much information that it causes them to have adult expectations of themselves.
There once was a psychologist who lost her license for three months because she administered the adult version of a personality test to a kid, and concluded from is answers that he needed to be hospitalized. Turns out, if she had administered the children's version of the test, this guy would have been deemed normal. Moral of the story: teenagers undergo an extraordinary physical and hormonal developmental change for three years or so, and during this time, their minds are subjected to a barrage of new neurochemical information for which they just aren't prepared. Simply put, you are normal.
Crying is normal. Being talkative and happy is normal. Being sad, feigning wrist slashing is...well...not standard behavior, but explainable in terms of your attempt to "work through" your turbulent, foreign emotions.
As for feeling tired, I don't want to "explain it away" or marginalize your concern. Teenagers need 7-9 hours of sleep every night to avoid signs of sleep deprivation. And EVERYONE needs exercise to feel energetic. I've always thought exercise is paradoxical...one would think that exercise would tire you out, but the opposite is true: Apathy, or a lack of exercise, is what causes chronic fatigue.
Consider joining an activity like volleyball or softball or anything that gets you involved with other people and gets you moving.
Dr. Chad
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14/f
I'm positive that I have OCD and I'm almost positive that I had SAD, but I haven't told anyone yet and even though my parents see my compulsions they dont make the connection or anything and I don't know how to go about telling them or asking them to take me to a psychiatrist. Any advice?
Also, if there is anyone on here who has OCD or SAD that I could ask some questions to that would be great.
Thanks (link)
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If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, then talk to someone you do feel comfortable sharing this concern with. A peer counselor, a school nurse, a minister, a youth leader, whomever you already have a relationship or acquaintence with and can trust with your suscpicions of OCD.
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Is this some kind of personality disorder im going through?
I jump from happy to angry to sad to just about different emotion to the MAX so if i am happy, im really really happy, but if i am angered by little thing, i get so aggrevated and mad.
I act on my emotion, such as yell at people, punching walls, swearing like crazy (which i have stopped now), saying i hate someone, and then pretty soon after, I just feel so sad and bad that I had done all that and regret so much.
Is that some kind of disorder? I would love to get that checked out by some kind of therapy, but my parents thinks im lying and they are kind of in denial because I said i need some help because I am sick and tired of crazy mood swings. They basically doesnt like to think there's something wrong with me, especially mentally. (link)
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People don't go through personality disorders. Typically someone with a personality disorder isn't aware there is a problem--it's just who they are.
Let's put your parents' opinion of your behavior aside for now. That can just complicate things, and besides, you're posting this question to seek help on your own, so they don't figure into it at this moment.
I feel I need to start with a disclaimer: Of course, in these postings, the information provided is insufficient, and many assumptions must be made, so if my response isn't describing your feelings/experiences accurately, it's because I've misread you.
Teenagers struggle with a turbulent range of emotions for which nothing can prepare you. My general, topical answer to your question is that you don't have a disorder, you have normal teenage emotions, and becuase you aren't prepared to understand them, you are acting on them in the hope that someone will recognize and understand your pain, or struggle, and shed some light on it. That's why you've written this post. You're searching for an explanation of the emotions you're experiencing.
Without specific examples of the emotions you're experiencing or any "triggering events", I cannot answer your question any better.
Incidentally, you regret your behavior afterward not because you feel guilty, but because your behavior didn't get the response (reaction, explanation, INFORMATION, etc. you were trying to elicit.
I'd like to hear from you. Please consider submitting a question to me personally, and describing the emotions you feel that lead you to act on them.
Take care,
Dr. Chad
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I have problems focusing.
During class, if I am not talking to the person next to me I fall asleep. I ALWAYS talk, no matter what. All my teachers write in my comments that I talk to much, I just can't help it I get so distracted and bored easily.
Also, I can't focus on one thing at once, if I do I end up frustrated and stop working, or start like flipping out because I don't get it.
I was wondering....do I have ADHD? (link)
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Sleep deprivation has a negative affect on concentration. You may be over-tired. Are you getting enough sleep? If you are getting less than five hours on average, you might want to get to bed earlier, or, if you're having trouble sleeping, you may consider talking to your physician about a possible sleeping disorder.
Dr. Chad
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Hi Dr Chad,
My name's Ceilidh and I'm an 18 year old female. 7 months ago I lost my fiance in a car accident. I know that everyone grieves in their own time but I feel like I should be able to accept the fact that he's gone and he's not coming back.
I can't sleep in our bed, I sleep on the couch. I can't go into his old job, which also happens to be my job and the reason I quit. I just can't seem to function without him.
I can be just fine when I'm with friends and whatnot but then minute I come home I just feel empty.
Thanks in advanca
Ceilidh (link)
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Dear Ceilidh,
As long as your apartment looks and feels the same as before, you will continue to be "haunted" by memories of him. If moving to a new apartment isn't practical, I suggest you rearrange furniture, buy some new decorations, and give the place a new feel. If you have more than one bedroom, try moving your bed and dresser into that one. Somehow, your home needs to be given a fresh appearance. It sounds like changing jobs was the right thing to do, and the principle here is the same. Your "old" apartment reminds you of him as much as your old job did. I also suggest you invite your friends to help you make these changes. I'm sure they'll have some ideas, and they'll love being able to TAKE ACTION in helping you move on.
Everyone moves on at their own pace. I don't think you're having trouble accepting that he's gone; rather, your apartment is frozen in time--the time when he was still around. Your apartment conspires against you, constantly reminding you of your life together. It's time for a change.
Respectfully yours,
Dr. Chad
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16/f My dad won't let me get my license until I turn 17. I don't think this is fair. I've been driving (with a learners permit) for a year now. I'm like the perfect daughter, and I make mostly A's in school. I've never gotten in any serious trouble. And I really need my license because my parents hate driving me everywhere, and so I'm always stuck at home and I feel so..restrained? I don't know if thats the right word. But it's been really depressing me, seeing as ALL my friends are or have gotten their license when they turn(ed) 16. But I'm the only one who won't be getting mine. I cry all the time when I think about it, I want my license soo badly. How can I talk my dad into letting me get my license? I need some good, real answers. Thanks. (link)
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Please don't rate me low--I don't have any advice for you, but I thought you might want to know why your dad is being so unfair. It has nothing to do with your driving or your maturity, and it isn't for lack of merit. I suspect he is just "irrationally" afraid you are going to be seriously injured or killed in an accident, and right now he can't bring himself to take responsibility for giving you permission to drive. He knows he can't keep you from behind the wheel forever, so he's just stalling by saying you have to be 17. Perhaps he's hoping that by your 17th birthday he will have worked up the courage to give you the keys and kiss you goodbye.
Perhaps if you described your "insight" into his private fear, and then told him you understand and can wait until 17, he will feel bad for holding you back and come around on his own. It's kind of a longshot, but it's worth a try. Sometimes changing somebody requires a paradoxical approach.
Dr. Chad
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i feel awful lately and i dont know why. i'm in 10th grade and have had a really awesome time up until about a month ago. Since then i get upset easier and i never know why i feel so i upset. I've had this great boyfriend for almost 4 months now, but he's pulling away, probably because i can never tell him why i'm in such a bad mood recently. today, he pulled me into his arms, and i started crying. i tried to hide it and he didnt say anything about it, but i'm pretty sure he got that i was upset. then i started crying during my math test but stopped myself before anyone noticed. now here i am, crying again. what's wrong with me? (link)
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Since the crying doesn't seem to be triggered by an event or even a thought, my guess is that it's caused by a hormonal imbalance. When my wife was taking hormone pills to induce ovulation (we were trying to get pregnant) the hormones would cause her to cry without provocation. I'm wondering if your crying episodes coincide with your menstrual cycle. Perhaps you could meet with your school nurse.
Dr. Chad
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i'm sick, but i have to go to school.
how can i keep from throwing up?
(link)
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There is an over-the-counter medicine called meclizine which is an antiemetic that acts on the area in your brain responsible for regulating nausea. It goes by the brand name "Dramamine II". Don't confuse it with the original Dramamine.
A word of warning though: as unpleasant as puking is, it has an important purpose--ridding your stomach of toxins. So, if you haven't puked yet, you might want to wait until you've done so a few times, and then if you still feel nauseous, take the meclizine.
Dr. Chad
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alright, first off i should tell you about my self. i am a 14 year old female, and i have never believed in god, or any of that stuff. ever. my whole family is majorly relgious, and im not. in most cases i am completely different from my family, so it didnt supprise me when i really didnt believe in god.
i dont believe in him, at all, what so ever. and my parents FORCE me too. like i HAVE to go to classes and church every week. i have tried to calmyly tell them, i dont believe in it.. i have tried uncalmly. nothing works.
i believe that religion is a thing that you should choose, it shouldnt be force.
so i need ya'lls help.
how can i really get them to see that i do not believe in this stuff?
i want to come across mature.
thanks for all that is going to help. (link)
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As a true-blue atheist, I feel deeply for your predicament. I think the problem with your parents isn't that they don't believe you could be an atheist, but that they won't accept you as an atheist.
My parents allowed us to choose whether or not to attend church after we were sixteen years old. My family went to church EVERY Sunday--my mom was the choir director. I still went now and then, but that's because I still believed in God. I didn't become a full-bore, through-and-through atheist until about two years ago---although I've had my doubts for years and did a lot of research on the topic before making my decision.
My point is, as long as you "live under their roof", you have to obey their rules. As true believers in God, your parents feel responsible for the welfare of your soul, and to ask them to give up on you ought to be impossible of them. I'm certain my parents, if they had the opportunity, would push a button and convert me back into a Christian, because THEY SINCERELY BELIEVE IN GOD AND JESUS AND CHRISTIANITY, THE WHOLE BALL OF WAX, UNQUESTIONINGLY. You can't argue with someone like that. All you can do is wait until you have the freedom to choose for yourself.
Dr. Chad
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what kind of whipped cream should i use to make vanilla ice cream. it says to use two cups, but i'm not sure if using a heavy kind would be better than a light. thanks (link)
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Use heavy whipping cream.
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