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Dealing With Loss Of Boyfriend
Hi Dr Chad,
My name's Ceilidh and I'm an 18 year old female. 7 months ago I lost my fiance in a car accident. I know that everyone grieves in their own time but I feel like I should be able to accept the fact that he's gone and he's not coming back.
I can't sleep in our bed, I sleep on the couch. I can't go into his old job, which also happens to be my job and the reason I quit. I just can't seem to function without him.
I can be just fine when I'm with friends and whatnot but then minute I come home I just feel empty.
Thanks in advanca
Ceilidh
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Dear Ceilidh,
As long as your apartment looks and feels the same as before, you will continue to be "haunted" by memories of him. If moving to a new apartment isn't practical, I suggest you rearrange furniture, buy some new decorations, and give the place a new feel. If you have more than one bedroom, try moving your bed and dresser into that one. Somehow, your home needs to be given a fresh appearance. It sounds like changing jobs was the right thing to do, and the principle here is the same. Your "old" apartment reminds you of him as much as your old job did. I also suggest you invite your friends to help you make these changes. I'm sure they'll have some ideas, and they'll love being able to TAKE ACTION in helping you move on.
Everyone moves on at their own pace. I don't think you're having trouble accepting that he's gone; rather, your apartment is frozen in time--the time when he was still around. Your apartment conspires against you, constantly reminding you of your life together. It's time for a change.
Respectfully yours,
Dr. Chad
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