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Dealing With Loss Of Boyfriend
I'm an 18 year old female. I lost my boyfriend, to be honest my fiance, last summer. It's been long enough that I know I should be able to accept that he's gone but I still wake up with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just need some help, maybe another perspective on how to deal with this.
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Well I'm not gonna front and say I know what you're going through, cuz I don't. I've nvr even had a fiance. I do understand your felling of loss and not being able to get over it. Well I mean you shouldn't try and act like you don't love him or anything cuz you sitll might and that's a lot of stress right thee but you need to be happy about what you do still have and basically, all you need to be upset about is all the possible oppritunities that may have passed you by while you were moping around!
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It always helps that if you have friend to help you through this. Even though he is gone doesnt mean you wont find someone better than him. Maybe if you got involved in an activity of some sort that could keep your mind off of him. LEarning guitar, sewing or even cooking there are so many solutions. Also finding someone that you like may help you get over him. I know what it is like to feel that way the only way i got over it is by playing my guitar and releasing my feelings. I write lyrics to show how i feel. I am best friends with this guy now but it still hurts but some part of me knows that it always will but i relized that i found someone who was better and you will to.
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Well, to tell you the truth, there's not much I can do or say to you because I don't know perspective you used the last time. I need to know that so I can tell you where you went wrong on the situation. I can only infer this much to help you. So, here it is. You have to think about your values. Yes, you're probably saying what does values have to do with this. Well, values are your goals, your views, they're yours that you hold dear. I really think that you need to get back that connection to your soul, your heart, your body, and your mind. Now, I'm not talking about yoga or anything like that, but I'm saying that it's important to take the time and evaluate your life. Evaluate your desires - for they are so deeply apart of who you are and they sometimes influence who we come to be. Look at your heart, take the time out of your life to get to know YOU better. This does a whole lot. I know you may be thinking, I'm confident and I know my soul and heart's desire. Excellent. But when you experience something that deeply hurts you, you need that time for yourself to figure out what's best for you and who you want to be. And sometimes you have to figure it out alone and then you may want to be surrounded by others. My point is that you need that time to reconnect with yourself. That's very important. Get to know yourself better.
After that happens over some time, then ask yourself, what do you want in your life. It could be something that you're searching for. Perhaps a boyfriend, love, career, etc. Think about it, set a goal, and go for it. Doing things, like keeping yourself busy, is a good thing afterwards but don't overdo it b/c overdoing things may cause you to suppress your feelings and then you're back to where you started. Keep yourself busy and strive for what you want. I recommend writing down your feelings b/c that can be theraputic for you. Acknowledge and deal with each and every feeling: don't suppress it. Hope I was some help.
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I have lost a large number of people who were very important in my life. I do know that forgetting is impossible and not recomended. There are times where i feel depressed and missed my love ones deeply, but I come to the conclusion that they are in a better place looking down on me and I realize that me crying is not what they wanna see.
I find that best way to deal with a loss, is to think back on all the good memories shared, will you cry? yes but after you will have a feeling of closure and satisfaction. Keep living your life, dont allow circumstances to keep you down.
Time heals, people get taken from us, however, memories last a lifetime. and honestly i wouldent want it any other way.
Be strong, I guarantee you will be alright
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Dear Loss,
I know what you mean, all the symptoms, empty feeling, feeling alone, trapped. The only way to really deal with something such as loss is to let it fade away. Something of this nature takes time, I once told someone "Sometimes its better to let a wound bleed rather that cover it up". And what I meant was something are meant to get over and forget, sometimes we need to let things heal on their own. Same with relationships and loss. Let time pass and the feeling supress this can take a while but you need not to rush this process.
Christopher Lee Espinoza
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Hey i dont really know how i can help you cause i know most likely you dont wanna listen to a 16 year old..but i know the feeling i lost my dad last July when i was 15 and it still isnt the same i still wake up thinking it was all a dream and that hell be up ready to take me to school..its just so weird cause its like we never thought something like this would happen but its gods path he made for them..i know its hard but you still gotta be strong and keep ya head up and kno he is still right by ya side..do you have a bear that he gave you cause it makes you feel like hes still there if you sleep with it..that may sound weird but sometimes its just good knowing your holding something he once held..i hope i kinda helped you out in away..just e-mail me bak if you need anymore help..*BabyGurl*
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