Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
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Last Update: May 3, 2012
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I will be turning 21 in less than 6 months, which to some may seem a little bit far away, because I still have most of autumn and winter left before my birthday in early spring. As my main birthday present my mom, sister and grandmother are going to be taking me to Atlantic City. My family has this thing where they want to share my most important milestones with me, I guess, like most families. While we we are at Atlantic City my boyfriend, my sister and I are going to be going out drinking, I think that it's a really good idea that I have my boyfriend with me because if either of his girls get drunk I know that he will look for us (he's a big guy, he's really strong – a former high school football player, who still works out quite a bit).
My biggest concern about drinking is the fact that I have never been drunk. I don't know what my limit is, which is bad because if I decide to be stubborn and I probably will be if my sister or my boyfriend, tell me, “I think that's enough.” Even though I am quite proud of that fact, I feel like nowadays too many people get drunk under the age of 21... it's probably always been that way. My sister who is 26 (will only have a month and a few weeks left herself, before she turns 27 on that occasion) and my boyfriend whose 22 (will only have a few months left to go on that occasion before he turns 23) have both drank before they were 21.
I have too, but it was under family supervision and they never let me to drink enough to know what it was like to be drunk... which is a good thing.
I'm just concerned about actually reaching the point to meet the difference between drunk and tipsy. I don't even know if I should be tipsy, because my mother and grandmother are very old-fashioned and tend to be prudes on certain things such as women getting drunk (even though my mom has admitted to us that she's been, my grandmother has never been). The main problem is that I have some drunks in my family, and we also have alcoholism in the family.
My paternal grandmother was a functional alcoholic, I don't want to end up like that when I turn 21 I still think that I have my whole life to live for, and I don't want to upset those who care about me. My maternal grandfather's father was an alcoholic who used to drink the money away and his wife (my maternal grandfather's mother).
How do I know when I'm reaching the point of having one too many? I really don't want to end up blacking out... which as you can tell would be very dangerous in my case. I actually do want to be able to drink socially. I do believe that my sister and my boyfriend would try to get me to stop drinking if they saw signs that I was about to black out.
I know that your BAC (blood alcohol content) depends on different factors such as your body weight, time between drinks, if you ate, etc. I'm 131 pounds and around 5'4", so I'm fairly skinny.
Thanks! (link)
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Hi there,
First off early congrats on your birthday!
I think you are worrying about this too much. Your family is taking you so that shows that they approve, and just want you to have fun. They will be there to watch you.
I'm not going to try to figure out how many drinks you can have by your height and weight, because there are many factors.
Some people can just handle alcohol better than others. What you ate that day, how hydrated you are, what time of the month it is, etc. can all effect how fast you get drunk. It's also hard to determine how many drinks it would take because different brands of alcohol have different alcohol levels.
As someone who has been buzzed, tipsy, and drunk, you can definitely tell the difference. You are not so intoxicated so quickly that you can't decide to stop.
After a drink or two, you will probably feel buzzed. You will feel good, happy, a little looser, more confident and social, and just all around good. This is my favorite place to be. First reaction is to keep drinking to keep the buzz, but that's not the best idea. Pace yourself, and only have another drink when you feel it wearing off.
I feel this way after maybe 3 shots, and I'm 122 and 5'3 if that helps you decide.
When you're tipsy you will feel clumsy, you might not be able to stand straight without leaning over a bit. You are still coherent but your words don't come out the way you want them too.
When I'm completely drunk, I feel pretty floppy. Things might start spinning, your stomach probably won't feel great either.
You won't become an alcoholic after one weekend, and you won't blackout. You really have to drink A LOT to do that. Considering you haven't drank much before, the taste will probably keep you from overdoing it.
If you are that worried, I suggest having your boyfriend stay sober the first night to watch out for you.
Just relax and have some fun. You are young, and it's a big part of being 21 to go out, have some drinks, do some silly stuff, and make funny memories. Just be safe with chaperones and not driving.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I am married since 5 years, my son has ADHD, I got married after I had my kids, my son dose stupid stuff all the time, taking stuff to school tells lies and I get a call from school almost every week. My husban told me that I am a bad mother and that I should do somthing more than just yelling at my son and telling him he is not allowed to watch tv or play games, and now he told me rather I get him strained out or he moves out, I am not from this country I left everything behind and we hear in the us since 1 year and now all that, I don't know what to do anymore please help me (link)
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Yelling at your son won't help anything, it will probably make it worse.
And if your husband has such strong opinions, he should offer to help. When he married you he married your whole family. Your son is now also his, and if he doesn't treat him well than he isn't a good husband.
You should ask the school if they have any resources for your son. Maybe there is counseling that can help him work through his issues, or an after school tutor program to help him study, and even a sport can help him learn discipline and to burn out some energy.
Is your son on medication? The school can test him for ADHD and you can take your son to a doctor, where the doctor can decide if medication would be a good choice for him.
Work with your son and talk to him about his feelings. Try to approach this calmly and rationally.
This should be a family effort, not all on you.
Good luck,
-Abby
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17/f
I'm in a very demanding school environment where everyone strives to achieve the minimum 2100. I'm not aiming for ivy league, but I'd like to think that a high SAT score is an essential factor to college acceptance. I've never had any prep, and I'm pretty confident that my mathematic skills are significantly lacking when it comes to the SAT.
I was considering requesting to take extensive test prep summer (programs like Elite, etc.); however, that conflicts with my summer plans for fulfilling my community service requirements and other credentials. I know it would be a commitment of five hours per day, along with the allotted test taking time excluded from the actual courses and extra time spent outside the class studying. I don't feel as though I could accomplish that and all my community service plans. I'm not even sure my parents could afford to pay for it.
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do from here? Should I spend the entirety of my free time (weekends, breaks, summer) studying for the SAT score or dedicate my time to a plethora of community service projects to list on my applications?
Advice would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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Balance is key here. Harvard will not accept a perfect score with no extracurriculars. So I say find a community service project that you can help out with each week to show your commitment, and get an SAT tutor. Mine was a life saver, meeting with him twice a week really helped me. The five hours a day thing seems CRAZY. The way my tutor explained it was all of the questions are going to be similiar, it's just about you learning to strategize and how to take the test.
To be honest it isn't worth all the stress. Look at the college you are aiming for. Collegeboard.com shows what they put importance on. My school didn't have really high standards for SATs so I wasn't too concerned. Besides, once you get to college you can work on your grades for a year and transfer to a school thats more difficult to get into, and then they will look only at your GPA and extra activities, and not a score.
Best of luck,
-Abby
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Hi, everyone. I'm 12 years old and I found out sometime last year that I have scoliosis. I wear a brace now, but this is my fourth brace as the first three did not work. My curve is around 35 degrees, I was curious as to whether I would need surgery or not. Thanks for your help! (link)
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Hi there,
I have scoliosis too, and my curve is 37 degrees. That is considered mild-moderate. I found out I had it when I was around 16 and I had already gotten my period, so the doctor told me I was done growing and the brace wouldn't help. He also said the curve was not severe enough to need any surgery.
Right now they are trying to correct your curve, and most importantly make sure it doesn't get worse. If they can maintain your curve at the degree its at, then you shouldn't need surgery.
Keep up to date with your doctors appointments and your brace.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Well, Im 14 and im female but umm.....I dont like how i look i feel like i will never find anyone that will like me for who i am. Just seeing other people being happy is dispressing almost (im not in depression) when im with my friends it seems guys look at them instead of me. i feel like a loser cause of what i look like and guys are sooo judge menetall of what i look like. its sad.
Can I PLZ have some adive" :/ (link)
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Hey there,
Between the ages of 11-15/16, I was really self-concious. I felt fat and unattractive. My best friend is very petite and tiny, so I always felt HUGE next to her. She also got all the guy attention, so it made me feel really bad.
Once I got to high school and got a little older, things started getting better. For one, I wasn't always around my best friend. Guys flirted with me and gave me attention. I also thinned out as I got older, which gave me more confidence. Being in puberty is an awkward stage, but once you start becoming more womanly, your features will become more defined.
Confidence was also just learning to accept yourself. I still feel fat sometimes today, just because of how I felt when I was younger, but then I look at the facts. I'm 5'3 and 122lbs, which is healthy. I look great, and the only reason I feel huge next to my best friend is because she's shorter and about 100 lbs! So technically she's the weird one haha. You may just be unfairly comparing yourself to others. Get out of that mindset. Just look at yourself and the things you love about yourself! Your friends are probably more outgoing or flirty, which is why they get more guy attention. If you can work on your confidence, it shouldn't be an issue.
Fake it til you make it! It took me til I was 17 to have my first boyfriend because I wasn't comfortable enough with myself before that. Theres no rush, and it doesn't make you weird.
And if anyone is rude to you about your looks, it's because they are the insecure ones. They put others down to feel better about themselves. Don't listen to them.
My best advice is stay positive and do what makes you happy, the rest will come on it's own.
Good luck,
-Abby
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18/f
Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up 3 months ago. We were together for 14 months... 17 if you include the 3 months. We were acting like we were practically together. We acted like a couple, just without the status. There was a pattern, where he would say that he is going to stop talking to me, and then a day or two later, he talks to me again. He says he doesn't want to do anything physical, and he's going to "draw the line." And the line disappears and it happens. And while all of this is happening, he says that he knows for a fact that he will never ever ask me to be his girlfriend again. Especially since he's starting to get busier with school, and he's now president of an organization at a university. He also mentions that he wants me to move on, and etc. I felt like it's just a pattern, even his friends noticed it. And I realized that I wanted to move on, soo badly, because what if one day he does wake up one day and moved on? And I'm still attached to him? I didn't want to feel even more crushed than before.
So today, when we were cuddling, he gave me a couple of kisses. And all the sudden, POOF! He said he's going to make things right, got up, got dressed, and said to me that I should save everything else for my next boyfriend. And I asked him what made him think like that all the sudden, he said he's been thinking about it everytime we cuddle, kiss, or etc. And that the reason why he was saying it like it was nothing, shows how much he thought about it. I was caught off guard, because he told me he loved me and missed me a couple of seconds before he said anything. I didn't really cry, because I was used to it. But yet, I was crushed on the inside... That feelings where you think it really is over, and what will I do if it is.
I noticed that I have no intention in meeting other guys, I tried. And none caught my attention. Some confessed they liked me, but I couldn't like them. I'm too caught up with my ex-boyfriend. He was gone for 3 weeks, and he was always in the back of my mind. I was missing him. And he realized that he missed me more than he expected, and came back again. He would come back when he notices that I'm moving on, and when he does, I give him that security he wants, and he does it all over again! I'm stupid for letting this happen, I'm stupid for letting this little hope get to me, thinking that maybe things will be different. Maybe, things will get better. Maybe, he will come back.
I'm sick of being paranoid, of worrying, of being scared. I'm tired of him doing all of this. But I feel like I'm slowly dying on the inside when he's not next to me. He's someone that I would want to keep in my life. It's one of those feelings, when you know that deep inside, you KNOW that both of you had a huge impact on each other... And there will always be some feelings left towards them. What am I supposed to do? (link)
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This guy is USING you. He is the one with the issues; he can't make up his mind. He wants a girlfriend, then again he doesn't. It sounds like he has an idea of what life he wants, but then when it doesn't go right or he gets lonely, he comes to you.
By letting him do this to you, you are making it okay. You are letting him think he will always have you to depend on. It shows that he does not respect you.
You need a clean break. I know it's hard, because I'm your age and I've been in a relationship for 15 months. I've had a few times where I want to break up with him, but then I feel like I can't be without him.
But you can be without him, you can date other people. You just need enough time away to realize that. Each time you go back to him makes it harder.
I think you should take his advice and get away. Stop talking to him, stop seeing him. Ignore him if you have to. Spend more time with friends, start a new activity or hobby, go to a party and dance/flirt with new guys, and maybe even have some flings. Once you start something with a new guy, even if it's just a one time hook up, your mind will get off of your ex. I promise.
Maybe this time apart will let him know that he really does miss you, and that you deserve better. Hopefully you will realize that you can get better.
Basically, if you don't make a change you will remain in this pattern that is keeping you unhappy. So think about the best choice for you, not the easiest choice.
-Good luck,
-Abby
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Hi!
I'm 21 years old, in college. I'm looking for a good pair of shoes to buy that I can kinda wear for everyday outfits. it's getting colder so flip flops are out of the question, and I can only buy so many pairs of flats, plus those can get uncomfortable. I want something that is dressier than a tennis shoe, but nothing too fancy. Something that can be worn with jeans and shirt. What is fashionable right now? (link)
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Riding boots are really great for fall. You can get the traditional leather riding boot, or get one that looks edgier.
http://www.zappos.com/type-z-sharris-brown
Or you can get the slouchy suede like boots, I have a pair of those and I wear them all the time in the fall. (I got mine at payless for pretty cheap! Or my friend got a pair of steve madden boots at a DSW kind of store, and only paid $15 because they were out of season!)
http://www.zappos.com/product/7862023/color/20
I have a pair of coach sneakers that are gold toned and are practical enough for every day but the gold makes them unique enough to spice up an outfit.
http://www.zappos.com/product/7830140/color/464
I see a lot of people with moccassins, which isn't the most stylish thing but people definitely make them work into a indie/casual but cute vibe. Also, you can get moccassins really cheap because most brands look almost identical; I've seen cute mocs at Walmart for under $20 and I've seen cute Ugg mocs at a much more expensive price.
Also, invest in some heel pads for your favorite flats. I've had blisters on my heels for a week because I didn't invest in some pads, and trust me I regret it.
Good luck,
-Abby
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http://www.princesspolly.com.au/eshop/products/Veronica-Dress.html
The dress from the above link is something a I want to wear to this theatre production. I have tanned skin and dark hair, so I thought the red would be great as it would bring out my features, and also I wanted to pair it up with my black heels and black belt. So the question is, I'm from a conservative family and the dress has a cut out at the back, is there a way I can hide it? Wear a jacket or something? Or wear a singlet underneath? any ideas?
And for my legs,I was thinking of wearing some sheer black tights. But not too see through.
I still want to look elegant and classy, as much as I can. :)
So what is everyone's advice on that? Any ideas/options etc. would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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I suggest wearing a black blazer over top, and wearing sheer black tights with your black heels. That would look really polished and chic.
Or you can wear a black tank top underneath to hide the open back.
I'm not sure how tall you are, but the dress looks like its short on the model, so I would definitely wear the tights.
I don't love the way they have the belts in the picture, so don't wear one if it kind of pulls the dress down like that. You want the flouncy-ness of the top to remain with a belt. If you do wear a belt, I recommend a black or gold/silver one.
I think big, chandelier earrings would look great with this.
Good luck and have fun!
-Abby
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Do you think its normal to want attention from the opposite sex when your in a relationship? nope, not flirting or any of that, just notice the fact that they seem to like you and you like that but you dont do anything unloyal, you barely talk to them or stand around them cause you know its wrong, isnt this just something you cant ignore and cant help but feel you like it? what do you think? (link)
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I've been a relationship for over a year, and I like receiving attention from other guys.
Firstly, it's human nature. We are hardwired to flirt, attract 'mates', and have hormones that make us boy/girl crazy sometimes.
One reason is you aren't on the market anymore so you aren't in the mindset that you need to flirt and impress another guy. I also find that since I've have a boyfriend, I don't talk to as many guys. You can start to miss that, so when another guy admires you or even flirts with you it makes you feel special.
Like the person below me said, it's a confidence booster. It reminds you that guys are interested.
It also reminds my boyfriend of what a catch he's got when guys stare at me while were together, so thats fun too :P
Good luck,
-Abby
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okay so our school will be celebrating teachers day on the 17th because of the ongoing exams
as it is going to be my last teachers day in school
i want to give something to each of the teachers who have taught me for atleast two years now
i have a maths sir who teaches me and the rest five subjects are taught by women
any sugestions???? i need help.
i don't have a very huge budget. but i can splurge a lil'. (link)
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It's very nice of you to want to do this for your teachers.
I suggest thinking about their personalities. If one of your teachers is very fun and silly, he or she may like a gag gift. If one talks about how much they love chocolate and you see they have chocolate on their desks, you could get them some fancy chocolates.
I suggest going to Hallmark or even AC moore to get some ideas. They have personalized items and also generic teacher related gifts.
Candles, popcorn/candy gift baskets, flowers, and gift certificates are good gift ideas.
For an english teacher, maybe you could get her one of your favorite books or one you think she will like.
For a math teacher maybe you can get him a ruler with his name on it or a soduku book.
Be creative and have fun with it!
-Abby
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I'm 18 years old and fresh into my first year of college. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly four years now. My boyfriend will be 19 next month. He's also fresh into college and he works full-time. Lately, we've been discussing marriage more and more. We truly desire to get engaged and married within the next year. Is 18/19 too young to be married? What all should we be considering? (link)
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Four years is a long time to be together, especially at your age. So it's normal to be thinking, whats the next step?
Before you make any decisions, let me share some experience and some of my opinions with you.
It sounds like you two have been very serious and exclusive for a long time. Have either of you dated anyone else? Slept with anyone else? You may only desire to be with each other now, but do you really want him to be the only guy you've ever been with? Honestly, if you date another guy you will either realize that your current boyfriend is the one for you or that there is more out there that you want to experience. You don't want to one day be married with kids and regret not exploring your options.
My boyfriend's parents got married at age 18 and 20. Neither of them had an education or steady, well paying jobs. They lived together with their parents. Do you and your boyfriend have the funds to live on your own? And you realize that once you are married, your debts become combined? So if your husband goes bankrupt, it hurts your credit score. Are you prepared to make financial choices? That's why I think it is so much easier to get married after you graduate and have a steady job. Then there is less to worry about and things can progress gradually, you won't have to make a rash decision to get by.
My boyfriend's parents also got pregnant with their first child within their first year of marriage. They had to work crazy hours at odd jobs to get by, didn't live in a great area, and it was very tough. Don't jump into adulthood when you don't have to.
There is no harm in waiting longer to make this decision. I would live with each other before deicding to get engaged, and I would have a stable income and college degree.
There isn't a rush to get married, you have plenty of time. These days, people get married towards their late 20's. Do what is right for you two, and don't guess, be sure.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Well, here it goes.... The guy I like is in ninth grade now.... And I'm in seventh grade now.... And I never see him, but my best friend's brother is his best friend, and his mom works at my school, but he rarely visits, How do I talk to him and get him to like me without making it obvious!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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A 9th grader isn't going to date a 7th grader. The age difference is too much right now, and he's meeting a ton of new people at high school. If you try to talk to him now, he's just going to think of you as a naive girl.
Perhaps there will be a chance for you when you get to high school and are a bit older.
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Well I'm 23 yr old guy that finally got his first serious job. My dad's best friend helped me out to get involved with their company. But I was transferred to a different state so I packed up and moved.
Now I won't get into big detail, but my Boss's secretary quit all of a sudden so he asked me if I was interested. I ended up taking it and it was a pretty o.k job. Paper work, answering calls, setting up meetings and such, everything was going so well. Until he asked me to take care of some "personal" business.
He had me pick up his 16 yr old daughter from school and take her home then babysit. Their nanny never called or showed up and he was in an important meeting. So I figured, he's a nice a guy why not. When I picked her up she stared at me funny, than sat in the passenger seat. The whole ride to their home was very awkward and silent.
We finally got to her house and she thanked me, then rushed inside. I followed and sat in their living room, wondering if I should just let her do her own thing or if we should watch a movie or play a video game or something. I grew up in a family of 7 and I played with my little bro' all the time.
After awhile she finally came down stares, dressed in ridiculously short shorts and a tight tank top with no bra. I was shocked and disturbed. She smiled and sat next to me and began asking me a lot of random questions about my job with her dad and about myself. I didn't know quite what to do but answer them as I looked away.
She then asked how many women I'd slept with, I didn't answer of course and scooted further away. She scooted closer and asked if I thought she was hot. I felt very awkward and told her I didn't find minors attractive. She then stated that it was "only" a 7 year difference and her father and new step mom are 9 years apart.
She told me to wait down there and ran up stairs, then came back down with a small baggie full of brownish stuff. I've never done drugs so I didn't think it'd be weed. Until she asked if I would smoke with her. I said absolutely not! And told her I'd tell her father once he called but she just laughed and said she'd tell him it was mine and make him believe I was trying to get into her pants. I was appalled by the extremity of her lie.
She then stated that she was in control now and there was nothing I could do about it, then went on to tell me about all the nanny's, housekeepers, and music teacher's she's had that she'd gotten her dad to fire and some arrested. I'm not sure if it's true but I am a bit frighten none the less.
I mean to be put in jail for something you didn't even do?
So later off she had me take her and her two best friends to the mall, I was so relieved since I'd get some time to myself while they were off. But then she told me her nanny follows them everywhere and holds their bags for them. So I did to. It wasn't that bad until her friends started talking about how cool it would be to date an older guy with a car and such. Then my Boss's daughter grabbed my bum and ran off with her friends.
At this point I was just really pissed off of having to put up with all the b.s. I head back to the car with their bags and waited till they called to go home. I decided to look threw their bags and they bought a lot of racy undergarments and clothes. I'm really disturbed at how these kids act.
They finally came back to the car with even more bags of God only knows what, I drove her two friends home and then went back to her home. I was so thankful that there were only two more hours for her father to get home.
I wondered were her step mom was but didn't bother to ask. I sat in the kitchen petting their cat and she goes on to say, "boy you sure like to pet pus*y." I was annoyed by her presence and just told her; If she were my daughter she wouldn't be in those terrible clothes, speaking the way she was and acting the way she was. She just laughed and asked if I was gay. When I didn't respond, she said she'd be happy to do me in the back with, you can only imagine what.
Her dad finally came home and I was so mentally exhausted I didn't even bother to tell him anything and went home. I guess I'm worried of him not believing me and believing his daughters horrible lies.
It's been a week since then and I kept avoiding those "personal" favors of his, but he wants me to look after her tomorrow since she got suspended from school for getting into a fight.
What do I do? Do I tell my boss? How?
Sorry it's so long but I really want to keep my job but have no interest in putting up with his underage daughter's crap. (link)
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This is a really messed up situation.
It sounds like this girl does not have authoritative or hands on parents in her life, and has just gone wild. Should this be your problem? No.
The simplest way to avoid this is to refuse the personal errands. I would just tell your boss that as much as you want to help him out, you are here to work for the company, and you don't like acting as a nanny. Tell him the role makes you uncomfortable. Ask him not to take it personally.
If he asks more questions, it may be best to fess up. Ask why so many nannies quit or were fired. Mentioned the things she said to you and that she was in possession of drugs and lingerie (at least then he can look for the physical proof). You want to be completely honest, and not look like you are hiding something, because that will make him assume you were taking advantage of his daughter.
I would just cross my fingers and hope it works. It sounds like a dysfunctional family problem you shouldn't have to deal with.
Best of luck to you,
-Abby
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are tacos good for you? (link)
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That depends on the kind of taco, I guess.
Is taco bell good for you? Not usually.
If you can get a taco shell that is whole wheat or multi-grain, that is better than the traditional flour tortilla.
The ground meat is usually greasy and fatty, so if you cook your own you can buy meet that is fat free, and you can cook it without all the oil.
If you are going to slather it with cheese, use low fat/fat free organic cheese, and don't use a lot.
Don't load up on sour cream either.
Use fresh salsa (salsa verde is great) or hot sauce to add some kick to your taco.
Good luck,
-Abby
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how to do a first hug n wht to say at the time of hug to my fiancee???????? (link)
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Wow, this sounds like a very scary and new experience.
I suppose you should just hug him warmly with a smile and say something like "It's wonderful to finally meet you" or something to show you are excited to begin this experience.
Best of luck,
-Abby
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So I am a 19 year old girl and I'm interested in crossdressing. I'm 5'10 yes I'm pretty tall I suppose. I'm very slim and have shoulder length hair. I've never crossdressed nor do I know anyone that does, at least not female to male. My cousin's friend does male to female and it's very convincing.
As clothes go, I'm pretty much set, the only thing that bothers me is my hair. I don't want to get my hair cut short, since I don't always want to crossdress. So I was wondering. Would a wig work? How would I go about buying a wig and making it look realistic and good. But still look like a pretty man. I say pretty man, as in say a pretty boy. If that makes sense. Price isn't an issue here.
Another thing is, my voice? What do I do about it. I don't want to take hormones or anything, but is there anyway to alter my voice at all. For example those people that can make different voices for cartoon characters like Robin Williams.
This is new and very nerve wrecking for me. All help and tips appreciated. Please be very detailed and if you can provide links it would be even more of great help!
Oh if you were wondering, I'm genderqueer. (link)
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Hi there,
First off, congratulations on being open with this and taking a step to show off your individuality.
Lets talk about hair. A wig probably won't work, since you are going from long to shorter. Also, wigs can be very expensive. I've seen really unconvincing wigs that are hundreds of dollars. The really nice ones can run into the thousands.
Have you thought about cutting your hair into a faux-hawk?
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=zac+efron&num=10&um=1&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=619&tbm=isch&tbnid=Dt8Um-NX0x0rDM:&imgrefurl=http://www.topnews.in/light/people/zac-efron&docid=wKjGzbFDzeV7wM&w=300&h=435&ei=zwFjToSvFqjY0QGLmtGZCg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=321&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=145&tbnw=100&start=0&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&tx=56&ty=43
With the length on top, you can style it to look girly or pretty-boy (think Jared Leto).
Or maybe the longer Justin Bieber type hairstyle? It could work for both sexes.
It's hard to alter your voice, but maybe you could take an acting class or vocal lessons. This can help you learn to control and manipulate your voice to it's greatest extent. Also, think about how a guy would talk. Use expressions and mannerisms to make it more convincing.
I wouldn't wear a lot of makeup, because that can make you look more like a girl.
If you really want to do the guy-liner, make it smudgy and a bit messy. Focus on the lower lash line. You can use a black powder eye shadow to smudge it and 'smoke' it out.
http://www.sodahead.com/fun/which-is-the-real-billie-joe-armstrong/question-1671523/?page=2&link=ibaf&q=guyliner&imgurl=http://tlowdrama.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/billie_joe_armstrong_9173091.jpg
If you want to contour your face, use a MATTE bronzer. That means no sparkle, shimmer, or shine in it. This is the most natural looking. Pick a shade that is on the brown side, not the orange side.
I use a flat top make up brush (or you can use a fan brush, or a fluffy blending brush) and apply the bronzer under the hollows of my cheeks to define them. I bring some up to my temples and do a small swipe down my nose.
Guys often have defined jawlines, so focus bronzer on there. But make sure you bring the bronzer down your neck a little and blend it, so you don't have an orange line.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESkaWMlr6VE
This youtube makeup artist uses a foundation that is darker then her skin tone to contour. This might help you.
I wouldn't wear foundation all over your face, because looking too perfect will make you look more feminine. If you must have some coverage, go for a tinted moisturizer and some concealer.
You could also experiment with making fake 'stubble' on your face. Get a stippling brush and pick a matte eye shadow power (or brow powder would probably work well) and try to give yourself a five o'clock shadow. Wet the brush for more intense color/texture.
Make your brows a bit thicker then they are with a pencil/brow powder. Make sure the powder is a little smudgy and messy; guys don't have perfect brows.
On eHow it mentions putting a nerf ball in a jock strap to give you a realistic package, maybe you want to try that.
All I can say is, experiment and see what works best, and have fun!
Good luck,
-Abby
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so i like this guy. he was in my school and passed out this year. i am a year junior to him so i'll pass out next year!
i have been talking to him for quite a while now.. and i really like him. he likes me too. he asked me out recently.(though we both are confused on what to do because.. the problem is he is going to another country :/ for his college! and yeah well he would come back to where i live cause his family is here, but still i mean i dont know what i should do?) (link)
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To be honest with you, I probably wouldn't pursue this relationship if I was you.
If you start dating him, and then he moves, you have a very serious long distance relationship. You two haven't had the time to bond and get to know each other as a couple, so it will be very hard to sustain a relationship.
And he is going to a whole new place with new people. At some point he is going to be interested in other girls. Because you two haven't been going out for a long period of time, he doesn't feel so attached to you or like it's worth it to miss out on other opportunities.
Out of experience, long distance is hard. You get jealous, you feel left out, you feel lonely. The only reason I do it is because I really care and love my boyfriend, and it's worth it when I do get to see him. Could I see myself putting in this effort when we had only been going out 1,2,3, or even 6 months? Probably not.
I mean, there could also be the chance that he is the love of your life. It's a risk you would have to take.
I say just spend time with him while you can, but don't promise to be exclusive when he starts school. If you two have something special, he'll come back to you.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Um DearAbby92 i can't tell my parents that he forces me to have sex.he threatened me. he said if i ever told my parents that he forces me to have sex he would hurt me badly.he has a gun.once he came to my house and he wanted to do dirty sex i said no.he pushed me on the wall and took out a gun and he held it to my head.he said ether you have sex or die i had to say sex.he kissed me and said good girl. i never feel like a good girl when he forces me to have sex.can i just call the police when he is not around. he is always around so thats going to be really hard.please help me.
(link)
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People will threaten their victims to get what they want, but that shouldn't stop you from getting help. Most of the time it is just a threat, he never intends on acting on it. He just wants to scare you into letting him have with him.
If you tell your parents, they will call the police and get him arrested. Then he can't hurt you from behind bars.
If you don't do anything, he is going to keep raping you. He is going to keep hurting you. Tell someone, and it can be over.
Please tell someone. Please get help. It may save your life.
-Abby
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Um hello i'm 13 and normally hang out with the older kids.Well one day i was at my friends house and me and him were playing video games.he is 16.he looked at me and said you have pretty eyes so we started to kiss.He kept trying to unbutton my pants i tell him stop, he keeps trying.i push away and i say i'm leaving he grabs me and throws me on his bed.he goes on top of me and he takes off my shirt and pants i say stop.he just told me shutup and that day he took away my virginity whether i liked or not.he raped me.i don't talk to him,but sometimes he comes to my house and makes me have sex with him if my parents aren't home.please help me he keeps using my body.i can't stop thinking about what he does to me.i really need help.
(link)
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You need to get help! Not from someone online.
You need to tell your parents, or a responsible adult in your life. You are being hurt and abused, and it is ILLEGAL! Don't stand for it!
You shouldn't be afraid to tell your parents, because once the word gets out and you report this guy, he can't hurt you anymore.
This website can help you. You can call someone here, or just look at resources to help you open up and tell someone about it.
http://www.rainn.org/
I urge you to stop this now. If you let it go any further, he will continue to hurt you. He may even try to physically hurt or even kill you. His behavior proves he is not mentally right in the head and you can't predict his behavior.
Please get out of this. Help yourself.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Okay I'm having extreme issues on deciding if Im goin to move or not and I really need someone's help. I live in a boring town that I've hated for some time now even tho my family and friend are all here. My cousin and his family just recently moved down to florida and offered for me to come along. Here's thee tricky part I really loooove Florida I vacationed there twice but idk if I should stay or go. If I stay here I would be keeping my job , staying close with friends and family , possibly get my own place in some months and being miserable because I hate thee people here! BUT if I leave I would be getting away from this negative environment , possibly starting school , not a guarantee job , and also have a chance at finding happiness. A big problem with moving is also my car its kind of expensive to get down there but if I stay I have to find a new place to go or beg my aunt to let me stay longer. What should I do please some help I'm running out of time ! If any questions feel free to ask thanks in advance :) (link)
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I would consider your options and make a set plan.
If you move to Florida, you need to make a timeline. How long are you welcome to stay at your aunts? Will you be able to secure a job before you need to leave? Is there a school you want to go to?
I would try to find a job and a school before moving down there, so at least you have a plan and some income. If you can contribute some rent at your aunts house, she probably won't have an issue with you staying there.
My aunt and uncle moved to Georgia because they loved it there, but they didn't move with a job or a plan, they just played it by ear. They lasted 6 months and had to move back, because they couldn't find jobs. Don't let this happen to you, it only set them back financially.
Are you going anywhere with where you are living right now? Do you have goals to be accomplished? If you are just kind of living right now, and aren't heading toward something bigger and better, than it might be worth leaving.
You can always go back home if you need to. Just think about what you desire, what you want your future to be, and see what location fits that. Make sure you have a plan! Don't go into anything blindly.
Good luck,
-Abby
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