This is different than debating, where the aim of both parties is to be victorious. Argument for the sake of argument is counter-productive. There is no victory, unless both parties can equally listen and open themselves up to the other person's point of view. Progress is not the end of the road, but the path itself. Truth is always subjective, no one can define it except for themselves. When both arguers have enough respect for one another and the truth in this way, both will benefit from expanding their knowledge by listening to the opposing opinion. If the arguer merely wants to destroy the opposing opinion and not learn from his opponent, he will miss a greater opportunity for human growth in critical thinking and social awareness. The progress is the deepening of understanding and respect for what you don't know as much as what you think you do know. Have fun!!!

Here is the thing. There have always been creeps around and there always will be. How does a nice girl tell the difference? Filter out the bad by holding onto YOUR standards and demanding respect as though it is a given everytime. If certain guys are unwilling or uncapable of being real men and treating a woman with class, then he is out. You are worth having and so you need to be discriminating when it comes to who you date. This takes more time and effort, but it is well worth it. Wait for the guy to open your door. Even if it takes a while for it to sink in that you expect it, he will eventually figure it out if he has half a brain. The things you believe about yourself will transpose themselves and attract the kind of man you seek.

Well, the worst part of being obsessed with one guy is that you are missing out on dozens of opportunities to get to know other guys. You may not think you'd be interested in the other guys, because your obsession seems above them all, but he really isn't. Someday you might regret all the wasted time and energy and all those missed opportunities. Take it from a girl who knows.

If you run out of natural conversation, don't force it. Just tell him that you'd love to hear from him or see him again soon and that you need to go. You do have a life, so don't be too available or too easy. A little challenge will only peak his interest anyway.

Honey, you don't need to prove anything. He knows you like him and that is enough. If he is a "big whore" and you are not, than that is just the way it is. Maybe he should prove himself to you? If he does not get sex from you, will he dump you? That would be his problem and not yours. Will he lose interest in you as soon as he gets what he wants? Maybe. Think about these things before you do something stupid that you will regret. He may even has an std and you definately don't need that. Having sex does not make him a man. If he really does like you then he will make time for you and never pressure you to do more than you want to do...ever. You will become less shy when you are ready and comfortable and feel secure with someone who does not pressure you in any way. You are worth waiting for and you alone should decide when, where, and how you want to be sexually active with your own body. Until you want it at least as much as your boyfriend, put it off. No guy has ever died from blue balls, but millions have whined and pleaded and pressured girls to go all the way and then dumped them soon afterwards. It is your decision.

You are looking for a release for all this stress and pressure you are under. That is okay, but cutting is not a healthy release. Find a way to get out some of the heavy crap that is hurting you on the inside without hurting yourself on the outside. You have real pain that is being ignored and this is why you want to give your pain visible validation even if you are the only one that sees it. Yes, I understand that right now it seems like your only option. It is not. Are you alone? Start connecting with some people that you can openly talk with. Are you being hurt at home? Tell an adult at school or call authorities. Is there something that has been burdening you that you have not been able to express? Tell me, tell a friend, tell anyone you trust...just get it out. Write and write and write. It can be a release for the pain the confusion the anger the frustration. Know that you are not alone. You are important. You won't be in this situation forever, although it seems like you have been. Hang in there and don't give up. YOU must learn to love yourself and stop waiting around for others to rescue you or love you or see you or validate you or help you. YOU are worthy of love and respect and you will connect with others in your life who see in you what you see in yourself. Decide now, today, that you are strong enough to love yourself and connect with those that are positive in your life and for now, ignore any negative people that bring you down. Let their remarks bounce right off of you, because you know the truth about yourself and you are better than what they say.

Stay friends, but take it slow. Don't believe any third party rumors about anything. Whether or not this girl is pregnant is her business. It has nothing to do with you at this point. When she is comfortable she will want to open up to you more, so don't get paranoid now. Keep it real simple. Life is complicated enough without overreacting to rumors.

A camera, even a cheap disposable will be great. Also, pre-address and stamp some envelopes and give him paper and pen to go with them so he can easily write you! A batch of homemade cookies would be another appreciated gift or small good luck token. Have fun!!!

You have tried everything, except not-trying. He probably wants to be the one to make the first move in his time, but now feels pressured. Never have someone else get involved in your personal relationship again when it comes to telling your boyfriend when to make a move or other personal things. Guys do not want to be told what to do in any way shape or form. Get it now? Now, to undo some of the damage. You need to give him time and space to re-establish his manly ego. Guys are very sensitive and get bruised feelings that they do not dare show. Don't talk about making moves with him or your friends again. He will know. Even better, you need to forget about it. Like waiting for water to boil, as soon as you stop hanging around staring at the kettle and look away is when the action starts. Enjoy the non-physical aspects of the relationship now and let the rest come naturally, and never try to fast-forward a relationship before you are both ready, again.

No, it is very unlikely that you cannot get off. You just have not found what is right for you, yet. Once you get it, you won't forget how...kinda like a bicycle. Keep trying, experimenting, and give yourself time. Think about what turns you on specifically. Let yourself become immersed in your own senses and become comfortable with the idea that you are a sexual being and in control of your own sexuality. It is private, personal and sacred. Above all, it is worth aspiring to achieve the ability to orgasm first by and for yourself, and later with a trusted and commited partner.

Maybe it is boring because you just are not in to one another anymore. Is the relationship boring? Do you have fun outside of the bedroom? Sex usually is indicative of other relationship factors and what is true for the relationship in general will be reflected in the sexuality of the couple together. Before you go looking for new techniques or blaming it on him, look outside of the sex part of the relationship. Maybe you two are no longer compatible or passionate and it is time to move on, or maybe you can start again and build up the non-sexual fun aspect...the rest will not take long to catch up.

That is a big question. If you are pregnant and want to give birth to a healthy baby, you need to take care of yourself, eat right, don't put anything bad like alcohol or any other drug in your body, you should see a doctor right away for prenatal care and you need support from friends and family, because your body will go through enormous changes. Legally, the fetus is not considered a separate person with "rights" until birth. Morally, it is up to the mother to do what she feels is the best for her and the potential child. Does any of this answer your question?

Doctors usually recommend drinking lots of cool water. You can also gargle with warm saltwater or a little peroxide mixed with warm water...do not swallow any peroxide!!!! These will kill germs in the throat and provide pain relief, but don't overdue it, because it will dry you out. Suck on losenges or hard candy to keep throat moist and if it is dry in your house, use a humidifier.

Your feelings are probably more intense because you can't have him. The fantasy of him is powerful and no real guy can compete. You probably hear your "friend" complain from time to time about him, because she knows his faults, not because she likes him half as much. The only two people in that relationship are them, and you need to back off for your own good. This means stop the drama, the sad-movie screenplay in your head, and the dreaming. You are missing out on life by just going through the motions with other guys and that is dishonest. Either don't date at all and tell this guy straight up that you want him and risk losing your friend, or stop the fantasy of what might be. Life is not a movie. Your feelings are "real" but only as real as feelings can be. Feelings come and go in life and you need to learn to master them, not let them master you in everything. Make a clear choice either way to go for him or let him go. I know this is not easy to hear, let alone, easy to do. However, I know that it is not healthy to live in the middle of both...that is why you feel trapped and unable to go on. I gave you the key to get out, but only you can choose the path from here.

Remember that your new found faith is your own personal choice and no one can take that away. However the REAL evidence of faith is in your deeds. In other words, "Walk the Talk." If you want to be a witness of what you believe, it is better to live it by example, then to just talk about it. Your parents know you best, and have more experience in life then you do, so be very respectful of them no matter how they react to your new faith. Do not push anything on them or act like a no it all about religion all of a sudden. That will make you look foolish and hypocrytical. Growth is not easy. It requires humility and work. Put your faith in action and do what you know in your heart is right for you, but don't ever stop questioning everything. No one knows everything, so be very cautious if you get involved with any group of people who think that they have all the answers. God loves a humble soul.

The previous advice was good. Asking questions and then actually listening is a great way to begin a friendship. I will just add to it by saying that whenever the conversation starts to fade, make your exit gracefully. If you wait until there is nothing left, then it is uneasy. It is okay to leave a little mystery about yourself and give him something to think about after you leave. Don't give it all away at once.

I did answer the question, and I don't care about ratings. "Sexuality is about being in tune with your partner, being in a loving relationship, and being able to communicate freely and openly about both your desires and your partner's." You see, giving pleasure to your partner is never going to be "perfect" until you have all the elements of intimacy in place. Any fool can give himself a hand job and orgasm. A woman (not a little teenage girl) knows that pleasure begins in his brain and uses all her sexual prowness to bring him further than he imagined.
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Yikes. You are a little young to be asking this and to be worried about being perfect. There is no such thing as perfect in any act. Sexuality is about being in tune with your partner, being in a loving relationship, and being able to communicate freely and openly about both your desires and your partner's. When you are older you will realize that sexual intimacy and touching are much more than what you think you know now. Any guys your age would be considering themselves lucky to be getting any action and are not picky about who they are getting it from or how. Grossed out yet? I don't know if you are in a relationship with a guy or just thinking about a future one, but remember that your hand is worth holding and not just for doing him sexual favors.

Mom's can't hate their kids. They can be frustrated with or dissapointed in or freaked out by or worried for their kids, but they will always always always always love their kids. Don't expect her to immediately understand and accept it. Chances are she may need time to adjust to the reality. She will likely mourn the loss of her dream of what she imagined you would do with your life. Let her mourn it. Then, show her that you want and need her to be a part of your life as YOU imagine it. It is your life and your dream to live it as you choose and with the convictions and truths that are real for you. There is integrity in living a truthful life and being who you are unashamedly. I respect your courage in wanting to be honest with your mom. It shows that you also respect her. Tell her this.

Only you and you alone can decide when it is the right time to kiss, and with whom. It is no one else's business to tell you what to do with your own body. Anna needs to get a life. If you are nervous about french kissing, then just start out with a quick smooch on his cheek or mouth. See how you feel and take your time. These things are best enjoyed when you take your time and listen to your own feelings.

You are ready for a change, but suicide is not it. Your adult life has not really even begun yet and being stuck at home with a family that is not a positive support to you and your goals is holding you back. Your friends have moved on, but you are taking care of everyone at home and thinking of them, even though you are not appreciated. The best thing for you is to begin to make real plans to get out on your own. You already have a job. Are you going to college? There are junior colleges that can help you get started with furthering your education for little money. Another option is to expect nothing back. This takes a real level of maturity on your part, but if you can't get out of the house, you must find a way to make it work for your best interests at least temporarily. The key will be to resist taking anyone too seriously and any comments personally. If someone has an attitude problem, then it IS really their problem. It is not yours, so don't let them make it yours, by giving it too much importance in your life. I bet you have always had to work hard for approval and you are tired of it. I don't blame you for being pissed off or frustrated. It happens to the best of people. There is a billion wonderful reasons to get out and really enjoy and experience what is to come in your life. There will always be challenges, but there will be things that will be wonderful beyond belief, too. You can't make everyone happy and you don't need to live life waiting for approval. At 24, I went through a very heartbreaking experience...and felt like giving up almost everyday for months. I pressed on, and soon I began to realize that my life was my own to create and re-create each and every day. Mine alone, and no one can wreck that for us. Don't take your life. Take your life, BACK.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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