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Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: IT Girl
Age: 19
Member Since: September 28, 2005
Answers: 704
Last Update: April 6, 2007
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About Mara
Hey, I'm Mara. I love dancing. It's practically my favourite thing to do. I love House, R&B, pretty much everything with a good beat, and Benny Benassi is my hero; that's why my column is a shrine to him. I graduated this year and am now in my first year of college where I'm trying to pick a major. Chances are you'll see some of my Psychology questions floating around somewhere here. I'm also extremely interested in Political Science too because I, like half the people living in Canada, somehow want to change the world. I particularly want to find a cure for poverty, corruption, cancer, AIDS and George Bush because honestly, I think those are the biggest problems we have right now. I have decided that maybe I should take the time to live a little before I start though because I have a good fifty years ahead of me to fix all the issues there are. Currently my life consists of: studying, working, socializing, eating and ocassionaly sleeping. I spent practically all of my high school life being a delinquent and partying to huge extents until I discovered my brain sometime in the middle of my senior year. I still like to have a good time every once in a while but you always need to find that balance (I haven't exactly found it yet but I'm getting close). Unfortunatley, a habit that has stuck with me from school is my obsessive gossiping. I just can't stop and you know, an article in Cosmo says that gossipers are healthier people because they bond over it? Who would have thought? Anyway, I do have my limitations and I don't condone nasty, brutal gossiping and I don't gossip about anything my friends have told me in confidence or something about someone else that they have slipped to me, however, if I find you in a washroom at a random party making out with my bestfriends's boyfriend, a few people are probably going to hear about it. Actually, more than a few people will hear about it because one of my absolute pet peeves is parties where the all the bathrooms are occupied due to sexual activity or... puking activity. Sooooo what else is there to know about me? My favourite thing in the world is shopping and my worst fear is existantialism. I am OCDey in a clinical way so you can ask me questions about that. You can ask me practically anything you want except for dumb questions but I'm not going to answer them in my little column here because it's a huge waste of space when I could be writing about myself (Click 'LookIt' on my menubar for answers to dumb questions so you don't have to embarass yourself asking them and getting bitched out from me). What I can do, is offer you three pieces of truly inspirational advice. Firstly, never live your life by what others want of you, cherish yourself and everyone around you, and never beat yourself down about anything you couldn't have avoided. Secondly, donate at least ten percent of the income you earn in your life to someone who needs it. Lastly, never get into a bulldozer when you're under the influence and start driving it towards a poor freshmen (I am never going to another kegger ever again... ever). Ok, I'll shut up now. You can start asking me stuff, if you haven't hit the back button already.
Divit says hi
He is the cutest thing ever
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i want to dye my hair blond the thing is i don't know if i should i am kind of pale but with really dark hair and all of my friends said i would look bad buti never pay attention to them and i am in need of a drastic change which almost always turns out ok for me because i am a person who acts on impulse also the last time i attempted to dye my hair blond it ended up orange please also tell me what some good hair dyes are or should i just get it done proffesionally please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For something as dramatic as blonde, I highly recommend getting it done from a professional. I’ve tried to dye many brunette heads blonde myself (I’m the official hair-dyer in my group) and have failed miserably. Don’t take the chance of going orange or frying your hair, just get someone else to do it.
As a side note, maybe listen to your friends? I’ve been telling a lot of people these days not to go blonde because brunette is HUGE this fall. I’ve dyed 3 heads brown or black and gone blue-black myself. You should wait till March (summer or spring) to go blonde and then you could get a tan too. Right now you should try a blue-black or red-black but get that done professionally too if you’re going to dye it blonde in the spring because home-dye-kits are very hard to remove, especially extreme dark colors like black.
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So, I'm 16/f and I dated this boy for 5 months. I honest to god think I loved him. He didn't like that I really wanted to take things kind of slow and he wanted alot of physical interaction. The thing was, he didn't talk to me in person. He blamed it on being nervous or not knowing what to say. I tried really hard to get him to talk to me, but I always felt like I was talking to myself. He's a cute guy, but doesnt always take things as seriously as he should and I used to get mad at him for goofing off too much. Anyways, This new girl moved here and I noticed my boy flirting with her for about 3 weeks, but during those three weeks, me and him were closer than ever. This girl was my really good friend because we're alot alike (we have the same additude, think very much alike, and act alike). Anyways, she knew how I felt about my boyfriend and stuff. Well, My boyfriend broke up with me and two days later he was ALL OVER HER. I got really upset and no one really understood why I was mad at her because "she cant help who she likes". Well now they're dating and sometimes I think I'm still in love with him, but sometimes I dont.
Would it be wrong of me to be mad at her for a while? Should I be more mad at him? What do I do if I love him? Seriously, I need real good advice.
I noticed that you asking if you should be mad at whoever. You don’t need to justify your own emotions to anyone as long as you don’t act rashly on them. You have the right to be angry or impartial towards anyone you feel like.
Concerning your question, I would be absolutely furious at her. I probably wouldn’t talk to her again for a while. A girl going out with a girlfriend’s ex is one of the biggest forms of betrayal. I’m not even going to start about the fact that you’re all sixteen and she should realize that guys come and go but true friends will stick by you forever. She can’t help who she likes, like I said, she doesn’t have to justify her emotions but she is responsible for the actions she takes. She could have liked him but dismissed him as a simple crush and been loyal to you but she didn’t. The only reason that a lot of people don’t understand why you’re angry is probably because they haven’t taken the time to empathize with you. How would they feel towards a good friend who started going out with someone they haven’t gotten over yet? Don’t be bothered by what they think, if the same thing happened to them, I doubt they’d act half as rational as you are.
At the same time, although he is the one who originally left you, you might not feel as angry towards him because you’re still in love with him. You think of her as someone who dragged him away and it’s human nature to not think the situation in terms of the fact that he left you for her. He might not be totally to blame for the matter (maybe he might have stayed with you if the new girl didn’t enter the picture) but he’s definitely to blame for a huge part of it.
I hate to tell you this, but in the long run, it was better for you that he left you. You can’t change who you love but I know guys like him. He might look like a 16 year old but in essence, he has the mind of an immature 12-year-old boy, who hasn’t quite gotten the scope on everything. He spent all his time trying to be physical with you and when he started getting bothered by you trying to get him to grow up, he jumped to the next best thing; someone who was almost exactly like you but didn’t know him well enough to figure out how childish he was.
This is my prediction, they’ll be going out for a while and then she’ll start bugging him about his immaturity at which point he’ll leave her for someone else, or they’ll be going out for a while and she’ll never say anything to him about his immaturity, they’re relationship will be purely physical and eventually she’ll dump him.
As for you, you’ll move on too. You might keep a part of him with you but over a few months or years you’ll find someone else and he might not be the one you’ll stay with forever but he’ll be someone else. You’ll probably hurt for a bit and hate him and miss him sometimes but you’ll get over him and look back at these days and smile at yourself and thank god that you had broken up before it had gotten any worse.
Don’t beat yourself up about it anymore, just take a deep breath and head on out.
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ok, i was on teenfreeway.com and i sent off for some stuff but........ it's been over 4 months and i havn't recieved a thing! did i get ripped off? is that site a scam? if not then why is it taking so long? and if u have used this site, when do u think i will b recieving this stuff? please help me ASAP thanks in advance.
That's very odd because teenfreeway is advertised by some reliable sources (Seventeen and bored.com). I once got a Rihanna DVD off them.
I recommend filing a help report.
You also have to keep in mind that tons of teens order stuff in and only the ones who pay for shipping get priority. Everyone else has to wait.
Some offers aren't applicable if you're not in a certain state or country.
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23/m
I got married young... while I was still in high school. Shannon wasn't pregnant, we just thought we were ready... probably because we both wanted to get away from our parents. We've had it good and we have a few kids now... but I'm not in love with Shannon anymore. I'm in love with one of my best friends, Tonya, who is also now married. I know things between Tonya and I won't work out, but if I'm not in love with Shan anymore, should we get a divorce? Am I just leading her on? Should we get counseling? I'm ready to let go. I'm done. But I don't want to break her heart... and what about the kids? They'll hate me. Please help me!
Yes, you got married young so like most mid-20 year old men, you want to get out there and explore your options. But, honey, you're married and getting a divorce right now is probably going to make the situation way worse. Especially when you have kids to worry about.
Don't consider yourself out of love with her just yet. I've seen so many people fall out of love, get separated or divorced and then get back together after years.
Counseling is an excellent idea; you should urge Shannon to try it out. If that doesn't work, maybe a temporary separation may help? Or maybe the kids are actually the problem. Have you found yourself looking at Shannon less and less as a soul mate and more as a housekeeper? You should try spending more one-on-one time with each other to kindle that love again. I know it's tough when you're young and you spend most of your time working, but try to take at least half an hour of your day to talk to each other.
And please stay away from Tonya, she's just a little fancy you have because she reminds you of your high school days. You can't break up her marriage too. Never mind the fact that life will be extremely tough for Shannon as a single mother who always depended on you to be her other half. I have seen so many women rejected just because they're so young and they have kids. Men in her age group aren't looking for a woman with the entire package. They want to make their own package. Statistically, I can see her drudging through her twenties and maybe marrying a much older man when she is 35-40ish.
Don't be a part of the 50% of divorced couples. I'm sorry I'm being tough but you have to take all your commitments into account. Making mistakes when you were young is no excuse for abandoning everything and starting over. At least try to make it work. Go get a number for a counselor, talk to him/her about your options.
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Ok so a lot of people tell me i am too thin. I've done those online calculators and they say i am, but you can't really trust those things because they don't take in to consideration a lot of important factors, you know. So, I thought if people could look at my pic site and give me their honest opinion? Thanks. http://www.picturetrail.com/photos/blondina75
Yes, those BMI calculators actually aren't very accurate but they come pretty close.
And yes, you are very skinny. I'm surprised no one has offered to take you to a doctor yet. You need to talk to one right a way to take care of it, you might have a special condition that you're unaware of and you need to address it right away.
Please go see a doctor ASAP.
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I am a Christian, and always have been. I pray at LEAST every other day, I occassionally go to church, I repent, I try to limit how much I sin, and I believe that Jesus is God's son.
I used to be very certain that I would end up in Heaven. But recently, I came across a Bible verse that has been on my mind for a while. It's Matthew 7:13-14.
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a fiew find it."
Now I'm basically VERY worried about not making it to Heaven. The Bible says that it's hard to get in, but it also says that believing in Jesus is the only thing you need in order to get into Heaven. So I don't know what to do. =[
I'm also kind of starting to wonder about other religions. I think "If Christianity isn't the true religion, then I'll go to Hell forever", so I worry even MORE.
Please help. I don't need reassurance. I need answers.
Honey, no one can give you answers.
All you can do is stick through your fate and be a good human being, not just a good Christian.
I just try to give to society because if my afterlife is based on my life, I'm pretty sure I won't be thrown into Hell just because I don't believe in a certain religion. And even if there is no afterlife, at least I've done my bit for mankind.
If you want to take a look at it your way, 33% of the world define themselves as Christian, roughly I can cross out about 50% of them simply because they just say Christian out of convenience even though they don't believe in god. So that's 16% of you who get into Heaven, which is a narrow gate enough, so as long as you know where to look for it, you'll probably find it if it's there.
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There is this boy at school who keeps looking at me and then acts so sttrange like pushes me down or trips me but not around his peeps but he gets so annoying what should I do
Note: I don't like him like him
also I am a girl
Well, he likes you :)
He's just trying to get your attention. Boys are immature at that age and don't know how to control their feelings so they act the only way they know how.
I bet if you burst out crying next time he does that, he'll feel really bad and stop.
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i want to know how do i rate people. and how do i get people to answer my questions? im new at this site and if im asking dumb questions then you really don't have to answer. i'll just deal with it. thanks anyway
http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php
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what is 4/20...i keep seeing these surveys where they ask..."do you celebrate 4/20"? and i'm like what is that??
haha thanks
April 20th is national pot smoking day. It's also the day the cops are on a lookout so it's kind of a drag.
You can check out this site for where it comes from:
http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/420.htm
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it's tradition in my school that the seniors make up a senior prank. i'm only a freshman, but i want our senior prank to be remebered FOREVER! i'm just wondering if anybody who is out of highschool could tell me what their senior prank was, and if anybody has any good ideas of a senior prank that is actuallt funny, not destructive, and doesn't cost too much.
thanks in advance.
xo
Well the year above me drenched the school foyer in water balloons.
Our year ordered 20 pizzas and put it under our principal's name.
This year's class want to take out all the desks and tables on a floor and pile them up in the gym or take all the office furniture and place it in the gym or in the courtyard. They also want to park everyone's cars on the courtyard and steal the principle's bike for a day.
My sister's year is planning on getting a few angry geese and letting them loose in the school, blocking up all the sinks in the washrooms and the staff lounge sink and putting fish in them (the ones that live for a day), the want to put almost-hatched duck eggs on teacher's tables, and leave brown animal-dropping stuff in the hallways.
When I hear about this stuff, I get sad because ours sucked kinda. They get better every year.
An infamous one is about a school that painted three pigs 1, 2 and 4. Administration spent all day looking for pig #3.
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13/f
does anyone know where to get cheap conair &revlon straighteners that work really good??? and can u please send me pictures of them so i know what your talking about? thanks in advance
Both Conair are Revlon straighteners are terrible. They are known for being poor quality because they are cheaply made and inexpensive.
A lot of them don't even work and damage your hair. I recommend spending your money on a worthwhile iron. Try Babyliss or CHI.
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13/f
i have pityriasis rosea. [a skin disease] its like you get spots all over your body that cause itching. well mine are dark spots [its usually red spots for other people] because i dont have white skin. and ive heard that getting a tan can cover all those spots all over my body.
qusetions:
do u think its a good idea?
do u think tanning beds are bad for me? [especially cos im 13]
would you recommend those spray tans instead?
i really need help. NO0NE knows when these spots are gona go away and theres no was to cure it.
thanks in advance!
Yes, tanning beds are bad for you but it's your decision and going once or twice probably wouldn't kill you. And I believe that spray tans won't work because what you actually need is the UV Rays.
One website says (http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_pityrias_hhg.htm):
One dose of ultraviolet light can stop itching and shorten the course of pityriasis. Have your youngster sunbathe for 30 minutes (enough to make the skin pink). Do this only once. If this is impossible, use a sun lamp or consider a tanning salon. CAUTION: Avoid sunburn.
Another one says (http://www.stayinginshape.com/3osfcorp/libv/p42.shtml):
Occasionally sun exposure or a tanning bed is suggested on a limited basis, although caution should be used because of the increased risk of skin cancer from sun damage.
So as long as you don't go constantly and go every once in a while, you should be ok.
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13/f
well i wanna dye my hair. but i dont know which color i should dye it lol . [i have black brown hair; lightbrown reddish in the sun] d0 you have any suggestions?
ps. do u any good brand for hair dying?
I have the same hair as yours and last month I dyed it blue-black. Maybe you should consider doing that. Dark raven black is really in this season, it isn't just for goth and emos anymore.
I had mine done at a salon but I dyed my sisters last week with L'Oreal Feria and it was almost as good as mine. My sister had thick blonde chunks and the black was even throughout her hair. Anyway, I used Starry Night Dark Black 21 on hers which had the blueshy tint but there's also Midnight Ruby and Black Leather.
You can check out this website (Click Feria Colours > Blacks).
http://www.lorealparisusa.com/haircolor/products/feria/index.asp
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okay well you know the clique series books by lisi harrison? i was wondering if massie, dylan, alicia, kristen, and claire are real people in life because it says that the book is fiction but there are a lot of myspaces out there that claim to be the people from the clique books... here's one myspace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=35248438 and look at the friends list too.. theres a lot of the clique characters in there too. so basically i'm asking if the characters in the books are real. thanks!
Nope, they're not real. The characters in the book may be based on some people but the girls on MySpace are just roleplaying. They're just regular girls having a little fun :)
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im 18 and i have been at my current job for over a year. I recently got a managment position. Before i was offered the position i was ready to leave the job and when i told my parents that i was ready to quit they yelled at me and told me to stay at the job because it will get me somewhere in the future. Ever since i got my promotion they do nothing but say i cant make a living at a job like that and i should search and try to find a better paying one.
they complain that i get every single thing i want but then again i have to buy my own clothes, lunch, Anything i need for school, shoes, personal items. They maybe buy me a soda every now and then (and they complain about having to buy that.)
Having this job for a year should mean i have plenty of money to get the hell out of this house. But i dont because i support myself.
I guess my question is how do i save money and still be able to get the stuff i need?
And any other good advice would be nice.
First, you need to open a savings account if you don't have one. Next payday, deposit 20% into the account and try your hardest not to spend it. The one after that, deposit 30% and the 40% next time. Eventually, you should be able to put at least 50% into the account from every paycheque and will have adapted to it, so that your average spending doesn't exceed more than what is left in your regular account.
A few tips to save money:
Make your lunch instead of buying it. That way you can use your parents food supply to make sandwiches for yourself.
Shop from discount stores and only on sale merchandise. Before you buy anything, think about whether or not you really need it. You'll be surprised at how much money you save if you watch what you're buying.
Secondly, you need to get yourself a credit card. DON'T USE THIS CARD. If you do, pay off the balance and their fees ASAP but you need to get one to develop a credit rating so that if you move out, landlords and car leasers will be able to make sure you're not a dead beat.
Something else you might want to look into is stocks. If you have a little bit of money aside and a good intuition, you may be able to make it big. My dad bought my sister and me stocks when we were young and it's just building up as we speak. Just be smart about it and listen to advice. Don't overspend, just keep it as something on the side for insurance.
Aside from that, keep yourself grounded and avoid unintelligent expenditure. You should be getting ready to move this time next year.
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Okay, I'm 16/F.
The guy I like goes to another high school in the area. Just to make this easier, we'll call him "Jack". In order to better explain this story, I'm going to have to add two more people, girls, who we'll call "Jess" and "Sue".
So, I met Jack at the end of 10th grade through friends, and I thought he was annoying and obnoxious, although I was attracted to him physically, and pretty much ignored him. What conversation we did have was short, since he was ignoring me, too. That night he also met Sue, and I could tell he was really into her, another reason that made me annoyed with him, since...well, I grew up with Sue, but she's much shorter than Jack, and she always gets the guy, and it bothered me that even though Jack annoyed me, and even though she's short, she managed to snag him as well.
Months went by and Jack and Sue did end up dating. Jack claimed to be in love with her, but they only went on a few dates before Sue became fed up with him. She gets bored easily, another reason why it angers me when the guys fall all over her, that and the fact that she's so snobby and high maintenance.
Anyway, Jess is another girl I grew up with, and she goes to school with Jack. One day this summer, she gave me Jack's IM out of the blue, and we started talking. I felt like we were really hitting it off. Jess had a party in August, and she didn't invite Jack at first. We were talking on IM the one day and I said I was going to Jess's party, and he immidiately IMed her and next thing I knew, he was invited. The night of the party, he only went because I did, or at least he spent a really long time waiting for me online to tell him I was going.
Jack and I continued to hit it off, and a few weeks later exchanged phone numbers. We tried to go out with friends a few times, but it didn't happen. By the time school started, I still liked Jack, but I wasn't thinking about him too much, until he called me at the end of September and we went out with friends.
Anyway, obviously it's been a few months since then. We started talking less and less after that night, although he seemed to like me and was flirting with me, and all sorts of things. I sat in the front seat of his car with him, he offered me his sweatshirt, and all sorts of things, but we just stopped talking often.
Jess doesn't like Jack, by the way. Or at least, she didn't. She really disliked him...almost hated him, even. I found that odd since he sits with him at lunch, apparantly, and ended up letting him come to her party. In October, Jess started to bring Jack up more and more around me. I was thinking maybe she liked him or knew I liked him. Finally she admitted that she liked him in 9th grade (we're in 11th now).
Jack and I have started talking again since I called him the other night, but I'm still trying to find out what to do. His winter dance is coming up and I really want to go, and Jess says she'll hook me up with someone if she can. She also keeps bringing up Jack wherever we go. I suppose I do as well, but when she does, she seems so...inquisitive, yet happy. I'm trying to figure out if she likes him again or if she just wants to know how I feel or what. Lately they've been getting along better, too.
I also want to know...what should I do about Jack? Should I tell him I like him, despite the fact that I have no clue how he feels, since we just started talking again? Should I tell one of our friends I like him, or even Jess?
Please let me know what you think!
My response depends on how good of friends you are with Jess. If you're best friends, you should ask her whether or not she likes him before proceeding any further.
I had a thing for a guy for about 4 years and I pretended I had given up on him after a month and I would have been heartbroken if one of my friends started dating him.
If she says she still likes him, then it's your decision on whether you want to honour her or take up Jack. If she's totally cool with it, well thank god.
Then you need to figure out if Jack is single or not. Is he going with someone already? You need to jump on this guy ASAP (and no, not literally) before someone else snags him so arrange a date. And instead of beating around the bush, this time, be a little up front to try to figure out if he's interested or not. Girls are really surprised at what good reactions they get when they decide to just go for it.
Even if he doesn't feel the same way immediatley, you'll have planted the seed in his head so don't be surprised if he calls you a few days later and ask you to the dance.
Good luck
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I am sending in an application to MSMS(Mississippi School for Mathematics and Science), a residential high school for intellectual teens. Basically, it's a boarding school for smart people. I really want to go, and filling out the application is the first step to achieving my goal. I'm pretty good with computers, but I'm not sure exactly how to fill out the application. You see, it has to be typed upon the actual application. A copy can't be made of the page, nor can it be typed on a seperate sheet of paper. I know I could do this using a type writer, but I would much rather use a computer. Anyone know how to do this?
Open it up in Adobe Reader or Microsoft Word.
Save the page on your desktop, right click and select 'Open With...' and click one of the programs I mentioned above.
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does anybody know if the pick of destiny is rated r or is it still unrated? haha thanks, im sooooo excited for that movie!!!!!!!!!!
It's rated R in the States.
Usually, I'm unaware because I'm in Canada, practically everything rated R there is rated 14A here. Only the really gory stuff like Saw get through to 18A and you can still get in if you bring someone whose 18 with you. Anyway, just a little trivia for you.
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i have known this girl for several years, and she is who i consider my best friend. everyone since we met has assumed that we were dating, even going to get married. we have dealt with this sort of thing from the get-go. The wierd thing is, she seems to be everything i could ever want in a girl, but i had never thought of her that way.
Lately though, those type of thoughts (us actually dating) have been floating thru my mind frequently.
When i look at her, i see not just my friend, but a very insanely beautiful woman. I dont want to ruin a friendship, but i do not know what to do!!!
That's one of the most classic situations ever created. She's been right under your nose all along.
I know it's a big risk and you don't want to ruin your friendship but if you've known her for a while, chances are that it may work out really well. Usually, lasting relationships are created with people you have a lot in common, not someone you fell in love with at a bar.
I would recommend just casually mentioning it to her one day, something along the lines of "So-and-so saw us the other day and she thought we were couple. Funny right?... so what would that be like, do you think, if you and me were together?" and just take it of from there.
I think the risk is worth it. You might regret it if you never talk to her about it.
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Why is it sometimes when I'm on my period that my er, thing down there is REALLY sore? I've had my period since I was 11 and I'm now 16; I'm also a virgin.
It's because of the heavy flow.
I get it too. It's a pain in the... yeah.
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