about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

There's this girl that me n my friends can't stand that hang out with us her names Kaytee! Well she was sitting with us at lunch one day, and my friend Lisa came over and sat with me and then left, and Kaytee then said, I was shaking because she was around, there was a rumor that Lisa was a lesbian, but she's my best friend, and I know her more then anyone and she ISN'T! Kaytee is totally against gay people, and all the people of whom I hang out with are don't mind if someone's gay! She assumes from rumors that people are lesbian and homosexual, and then pretends that she's scared of them. Without being totally mean to Kaytee, but getting it across that some people that she thinks aren't gay. What can I tell her?

Tell Kaytee that you know Lisa better than anyone, and that she's not a lesbian. Also explain to her that rumors aren't always true and, therefore, shouldn't be taken seriously. If she still believes it, then say "Who would you believe first, me, who's her best friend, or _____ (whoever Kaytee heard the rumor from), who hardly knows Lisa?" It'll be hard for her to argue with that question.

And tell her that homosexuals are people too, and they should be treated equally. Tell her that just because someone is gay/lesbian, that doesn't mean that they should be treated any differently or made fun of because of their sexuality. And just because she thinks that someone is gay, doesn't mean that they are gay.

Kaytee is immature to be "scared" of homosexuals.

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
*Manders*

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Does anyone know if Billie from Green Day is married? i heard he had a wedding ring on. any info?

Yes, he's married to a woman named Adrianne and he has two kids, Jakob Danger Armstrong and Joseph Marciano Armstrong. Adrianne and Billie Joe have been married since 1994.

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, leave one in my inbox!

*Manders*

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Today this girl that I really don't like, but hang out with anyways, asked to see a note that my best friend had wrote me, that said stuff about her in it. ALOT of stuff. I said no because it was mine and she had no right seeing it, she took my purse dumped it out on the floor but I hid it in my desk, and then she randomly got into my desk and found it, I didn't want her to see it, and now I'm afraid my best friend's going to be mad at me, but I'm not sure because I really didn't do anything wrong, right?

Your best friend shouldn't be mad at you. You tried your hardest to keep the note away from this girl. She shouldn't be mad at you, and if she is, say, "I'm sorry _______, I tried to keep it away from her, but she kept trying to get it. I hid it in my desk, but she got in there and found it."

Plus, the girl should mind her own business. She shouldn't have been trying to grab the note in the first place. That's your business, not hers.

You didn't do anything wrong since you didn't write it.

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, just leave one in my inbox!
*Manders*

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My best friend is ALWAYS with her boyfriend. I'm never alone with her, hes alwas with her. Well, my grandma died on Tuesday. Wednesday I went to school and then to a baseball game with my best friend after. We didn't talk about my grandma at all. Thursday and Friday I was at the funeral and viewing. I wanted to see her Friday night and I find out shes going to a baseball game with her boyfriend. Is that ignorent or what? If his grandma died shed be spending even more time with him, she doesn't care about me and I just started crying my eyes out. I wasn't even crying at the funeral, I cried because she wasnt there for me. We've been so close for 3 years, and her boyfriend and her have been going out for 6 months. Am I being sensitive or am I right? What should I do?

I'm sorry about your grandmother.

Anyway, You're right. Friends are more important than boyfriends. She should be there for you during this emotional and hard time.

You should talk to her and let her know that she is hurting you by not spending time with you anymore. Let her know that it's fine if she spends time with her boyfriend, but that you need her support and she should be there for you.

If she argues or is mean in some way, I would reconsider your friendship. You deserve a friend who is there for you.

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, leave one in my inbox!
*Manders*

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what happens if you really like someone and u think they like you too but they wont admit it and all they ever wanna talk about is getting the good stuff and its not like i dont wanna give it to him its just that im afraid if i give it to him he wont wanna talk to me anymore what if thats the only reason he pretends to like me

If a guy pretends to like you to get the "good stuff", he isn't worth it. Don't give in to him, you'll regret it later. There are too many risks.

If he doesn't talk to you if you don't give him the good stuff? It's his loss, hun. Guys like that aren't worth it. Don't give in, no matter how much you like him!

He might like you, but from what you've said, he seems a bit obsessed with the "good stuff."

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, leave one in my inbox!

*Manders*

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Ok guys here's the scope I got this girl that has had a crush on me for like all year. We got to know each other and after like 6 months we decided to get ingaged, but we were hiding it from her mother. I am in the army and I believe in being up front with ppl. She is to scared to even tell her mother we were going to start dating and now this. I am leaving to go to some training in like 3 weeks, and I can't wait for her to get some courage and tell her mother what's what. I decided that she must be ashamed of me, I broke up with her and called off the engagment. I did this because i don't really know her like I would like to and every thing seems to be an issue with her. Ok guys do your thing. And don't worry I always rate my ppl good. If you ever need some personal avdive you can talk to me I'm always straight forward. l8er

You should talk to her and ask her why she wouldn't tell her mother about the engagement.
If she apologizes (And had a good reason about not telling her mom, like if she's shy, etc.) and you think the relationship will work, I think that you two should get back together if you both still love each other.

If the "everything being an issue to her" thing bothers you a lot, then I would talk to her about that, too. If she doesn't see it and she doesn't change her ways, it doesn't seem like it would work out and I would reconsider the relationship.

You two need to sit down and talk about your relationship.

But since you said you don't know her like you'd want to, I think you should keep dating if you get back together. 6 months isn't a very long time, so I would wait a while to get to know her better before getting engaged again.

I hope I helped and if you need any more help, feel free to leave a question in my inbox!
*Manders*

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Ever since I started shaving I've always gotten pimples on my legs and thighs. It's really annoying because I don't get any on my face just my legs! What should I do? And why is this happening?

They're not pimples; they're ingrown hairs. Don't pick at them! They occur when the hair curls and goes into the skin, which irritates it. Don't worry, it's common and it's not serious.

To learn how to get rid of them, go to this site:

http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/47/82.cfm

To learn how to prevent them, go to this site:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Prevent-Ingrown-Hairs-When-Shaving-Or-Waxing&id=75

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, leave one in my inbox!
*Manders*

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I have a friend who cant keep her mouth shut! She tells everything I say and I always try to remember tp tell her stuff but sometimes i am just itcing to tell someone. I really wanna be her friend but then again I dont NEED her! any suggestions? 5 points for anyone who helps! xoxo

I know some people like this, too. For one, don't tell her anything very personal. You can tell your secrets to a close relative or a pet (Yeah, I know telling a secret to a pet may sound strange, but hey, you'll get your secret off your chest PLUS you're 100% sure they won't blab!) Do you have any friends from different schools or states? You can tell them your secrets, too. Or, if you can't tell ANYONE, get a journal with a lock on it and write all of your deep secrets in there. That helps me a lot.

You can still be her friend, just don't tell her your secrets.

I hope I helped and if you need any more help, leave a question in my inbox!
*Manders*

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I cheered competativly for 5 years, I don't like cheerleading anymore so I refused to tryout for my middle school squad. My mom and I battled for 2 weeks about this, but I won and its to late now to turn in the forms. Now no one will talk to me in my family, and if they do its some sarcastic or mean remark to make me feel stupid. Sorry for the length but i need help, i dread goin home after school everyday now!! Plz help, I'll rate high :)

There isn't much that you can do except talk to your family. Explain to them that if you continued cheerleading, you wouldn't be happy. Just say "Hey Mom, can we talk?" and then ask something like "Why are you angry that I'm not continuing cheerleading?" Then you can explain to her why you don't want to cheerlead anymore. Also ask why they're saying the mean and sarcastic remarks and let her know that this hurts you. Good luck! I hope I helped and if you need any more help, leave a question in my inbox!
*Manders*

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im a female 16 and me & my bf have been on & off for 2 years now we are long distance and it started out as a summer romance at the beach because my family spends the summer up there but turned into love. ok im madley in love with my boyfreind & when i talked to him the other day he said his freind came over and told him he should take this one girl he dated while we were seperated to the prom. i asked him if he was and he said he wasnt going to and he told his freind no but im kinda scared do you think hes still seeing this girl? do you think mabey he was hinting that he wanted to go to the prom and that mabey we should go? please tell me what you think.

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Additional info
(added Sunday May 08 2005, 1:34 pm. Additional information will not be displayed on your advice column.)
and if you ansewer you should go to prom with him well how how do i ask him really with out asking him flattly cuz im kinda scared just to come out and say it.

Has he been totally honest and trustworthy in the past? If he has, then I doubt he's still seeing the other girl. I bet his friend suggested that your b/f should go with this other girl to the prom because you two's relationship is long distance.

I think that you two should go to the prom. The prom only happens a few times in your life. I think that you should go with your boyfriend and have fun.

Maybe you can hint that you wanna go like this "Prom sounds like it would be so much fun to go to!" or something like "What do you think about going to the prom?" (I know you said you are scared to come out and say it, but you can still try to ask that.) or something like that. You could give him hints or come out and say it. I would try to build up the courage to come out and say it if he doesn't get the hints.

If you do go to prom, have fun and be safe!

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
*Manders*

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I am writing a graduation speech that is entitled "Looking Back" and I am having trouble finding quotes. Ineed quotes about choir, school in general, and friends. Please don't tell me to google this, I really don't have time. If it's May 10, 2005 or after, please do not answer this, you will be rated an automatic one if you do. Also, this is a dialogue speech, so if that matters...Please cite your quotes so I can credit these people in my speech.

THank you so much!!

The greatest quote website I've ever been to that has REAL quotes is:

http://www.worldofquotes.com/

It has some great quotes about EVERYTHING! Plus, they're very mature, and great for a graduation speech.

Go under Topics, and then look under the letter of the Topic you need (ex.- If you need a Love quote, look under L)

Examples:

"The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after." -Newton D. Baker (this was under Learning, since I couldn't find a School topic)

"He who sings frightens away his ills." -Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra) (I found that under Singing)

"A friend is a second self." -Aristotle (that was under Friendship)

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, leave one in my inbox!
*Manders*

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I'm thinking about buying a Lacoste on ebay..for those of you who don't know what it is, it's a really expensive polo retailing for $72-$79 in stores like Saks, Nordstroms, etc..The problem is, I don't want to get scammed and be sold a fake one. How do I know if it's real? The one I am currently bidding on has a $0.99 starting bid. The seller states that it has two mother of pearl buttons. She has a feedback of 99.7%. Is this a scam? How do I spot the real ones?

Look at the sellers' negatives and neutrals. Look at the reasons why the neg/neutral was left. If other buyers have left positives and they've bought Lactose shirts from that seller, I would feel pretty safe. This seller's feedback seems great, so I would trust him/her. I doubt it's a scam.

And just because something is .99, doesn't mean that it's fake. Sellers price expensive things like that so buyers will be like "WOW! A Lactose shirt for .99! What a steal!" and then they bid on it and the price gets higher and higher.

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
*Manders*

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I forgot to get something for my mom because i didnt know it was mothers day - what should i do!? I cant make her anything special or buy anything.

You can:

-Write her a poem
-Give her breakfast in bed.
-Make lunch/dinner.
-Make her a card.
-Draw her a picture.
-Make a dessert! If you have some ice cream and some cookies, you can make a cookie and ice cream sandwich. ^^ If you have some icing, you can write things on them like "I Love You" or something.
-Write a letter to her, telling how much you love and appreciate her.
-Make her a coupon book with little coupons that say "Give me this coupon for one back rub" or "Give me this coupon, and I'll clean my room."
-Make her a mix CD of her favorite songs.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, leave one in my inbox!
*Manders*

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I have this friend, and we were really good friends at the beginning of the year. Literally every guy in our school thinks shes hot, and i think its gone to her head. She goes out with people shes not really friends with on friday nights and never invites me and acts like im a total freak all the time. on the other hand, shes always really nice to me and stuff when shes not around those people who think shes so hot, and i like to be around her then. i dont want to tell anyone how shes treating me because theyll tell her because they want to be friends with her. i cant talk to her because shes so mean when shes mad at someone and no one will be on my side of the arguement.

This girl isn't a friend. Friends are nice to you, no matter who's around. They accept you for who you are and love you for it. Friends are people that you can talk to, no matter what.

You need to talk to her. Let her know about her behavior, and how it's hurting you. She should stop. If she doesn't, then you should just stay away from her. You don't deserve to be treated like that.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, just leave one in my inbox.

*Manders*

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i have a combination of two problems, but they tie in with relationships i have with people in my life. lately, i feel as if my life has been on rewind. everyday i wake up, it seems i am about to experience the same days i did the day before. all of this leaves me with an empty emotion, almost as if i am missing out on something that everyone else has. i guess you can call this the passion people have for life. i do take my days alive for granted. i really do. unfortunately, i am not certain how to make them worth while.

here's part two. all these feelings i have make me feel jumbled. it is difficult to express this all to a friend, for they do not understand. when i start explaining about my view on life, it is like i am talking to myself. nobody is there on the other end.

i give up, because i have attempted again and again to mend this. maybe i am repeating a mistake more than once. i just want to know if there is a way that i can open myself up and have motivation to take life by the horns. i despise how i back away and allow myself to be silent.

i just don't want to be invisible anymore to everyone...

Okay, I'm gonna spilt my answers into parts. Here it goes:

Part 1: You gotta live life to the fullest. Try something new, like a hobby, sport, food... etc. From what you've told me, it seems like every day for you has a routine (Wake up, go to school, homework, sleep). It's good to have a routine and all, but you still need to do out-of-the-ordinary things.

Do the things that you love to do.

Also, life is short. You gotta remember that. That's why you have to live life to the fullest.


Part 2: You seem like a shy person. Believe me, I know how it feels since I'm shy, too. To not be "invisible" anymore, you can just socialize with more people. I know it might be hard if you're shy, but it will be easier with time. And your motivation to take life by the horns? Just think to yourself "Life's too short to NOT take life by the horns."

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, please leave one in my inbox.
*Manders*

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i've had under eye circles my whole life and sleeping more doesn't help because it just makes them purple from too much sleeping. stupid eyes. circles be gone!

I know how you feel... I have 'em too. Here's how to cover them a lil bit:

Get a concealer and a powder that match your skin tone. Put the concealer on the part that is dark. Make sure it isn't noticeable. Then pat a bit of powder where the concealer is (Also make sure that it is not noticeable).

They also have products made especially for under eye circles. You can check those out, too.

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, just ask!
*Manders*

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hey well i wrote him a note saying that i need to get over him and that if we aren't going out then we need to stop. i went to give it to him and i just couldn't do it i mean i want to get over him so bad but the more i think i about it the more it hurts to where i want to cry. i mean i have been driving myself crazy thinking about him and us not being togetjer and yes me and michael broke up a while ago but i dont know what to do. me and monica are friends by=ut everytime i see her in the hallway hugging him it makes me wanna scratch her eyes out. why am i thinking like that if she is my friend/ well anyways do you think i should just get over him? well write me back
holla atcha laterz

I wanna ask you a question: Why do you think that she's your friend? She sure hasn't been acting like one. You don't derserve the things that she is making you feel. You should stay away from her. Or talk to her about the whole situation. Whatever you want to do.

You need to tell him how you feel. That's the only way you'll know how HE feels about you. I don't think that you should get over him until you know how he feels about you, since you seem to like him a lot. I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, just ask.
*Manders*

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hey it is nikki look i need help well me and jeremy keep kissing and holdin hands and stuff like that. well today in first period he told me he still loved me and there was no other girl like me, well he knows that i want to go out with him and he wants to go back out with me. it has been three weeks since we broke up and , the question is how can i get him back? i mean he acts like we go out and you know how i had the jealousy problem that is straight. i really love him and we are always kissing and hugging all the time and he is always grabing my ass i like it but anyways do you think i should ask him back out or what/ plz get back to this
hollaatcha laterz

First of all, did you break up with Michael? Do that before asking Jeremy out.

Now, I think that you should ask him back out. Maybe you can go to a movie or something. Just be casual about it. He seems to like you a lot. It's worth a shot. Good luck!

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, just ask.

*Manders*

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so they guy i like asked me to prom i got my dress and everything but im so nervous is there anyone that has some good advice about everything? like how to act around him and stuff because im really shy i'll rate 5's!!

Just have fun! He asked you because he must like you, either as a friend or more. Either way, you gotta let loose and have fun! Enjoy the moment! Prom happens a few times in your life, and you wanna remember it as the time you had a blast! You don't wanna remember it as the time you sat on the sidelines and didn't dance! Have fun and be safe!

I hope I helped and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask.
*Manders*

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hey its me again adn all i want to do is ask you a question i mean okay you remember me telling you about my ex jeremy and one of my best friends monica how she likes him and well today she wrote me a note and said that she does like him more than a friend and that i need to let him go and move on. well she has liked him for 4-5 days now and she came up to him today and gave him a hugg. and she does that when i am talking to him well she goes "jeremy can i have a hugg?" and i bought hit her i know i am jealous but she is suppose to be my best friend and she is doing that to me. well the question is what should i do about her? i mean shouldi hit her in the face or just ignore her? well g2g write back

This Monica girl is a bit... selfish, to be honest with you. SHE wants him all to HERSELF without asking YOU (who liked him first) if it was okay to pursue him. Friends don't do that. I would talk to her about this. If she doesn't budge, she isn't a good friend (well, she isn't acting like a friend at all) and you should avoid her. She's not acting like a good friend to you, so I say you should still like Jeremy. Don't hit her, since you can get in trouble (I may sound like an uptight person when I say that, but it's true.) I hope I helped, and feel free to ask me any more questions.
*Manders*

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