christina's advice column | Page 16

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Website:

Gender:

Female

Location:

716

Occupation:

SAHM

Age:

27

Member Since:

February 1, 2006

Answers:

6717

Last Update:

August 9, 2018

Visitors:

288825

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

about

I'm Christina, and I'm 27. I tend to be brutally honest when I give advice or an opinion. I don't tell people what they want to hear but rather what they need to hear. They don't always appreciate it at first, but I usually get a thank you in the end.

I have 15 tattoos, and 8 piercings. I'm married and just gave birth to a baby boy in May. I'm currently a SAHM so you can find me taking care of my son and binge-watching television while he naps.

advice

how long does it take for a movie to come out on dvd?

I'd say 3-6 months minimum, but sometimes it'll take a year at most depending on the type of movie.

Hey everyone, I'm 14 year's old, and im pregnant. My family is broke, and struggling for money. My father just lost his job, and has less than 400 dollars in the bank. And im against adoption and abortion, i have no idea what to do. I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I dont have a job, and i have no idea how i can get one at my age. And to top everything all together, I haven't told my parent's... i dont know what to do. Can they make me give up my baby? Please help, and soon.
thanks in advance

Your parents cannot make you give up your baby. You as a mother who's a minor, have the same rights as a mother who's an adult. You don't have to put your baby up for adoption, abort it, or sign over custodial rights if you do not wish to. But, you do need to think about whether or not this is something you should really go through with.

You don't need to have an abortion if you don't believe in it, but you really should consider adoption. You're 14 years old, you know for a fact that getting a job at your age will be impossible, and that you & your family just do not have the funds to help you support a baby.

I highly suggest you look into adoption. There are a lot of couples who just cannot have babies no matter how hard they try, or people who can't have babies because of genetics or sometimes even cancers who are looking to adopt. Adoption is the best choice because you get to pick the family (so you know that they're going to a good home where they'll have someone who can afford to take care of them & give them the life that you cannot), and you can even choose whether or not you'd like to have an open or closed adoption. An open adoption is when the family who adopts your baby sends you updates, pictures, etc on the baby so you know how they're doing. With a closed adoption, you give away the baby & that's it. You won't see them again.

If you want to keep the baby, just know that it will be VERY difficult and that babies are not cheap. They take a lot of work, and you will have to make a lot of sacrifices to care for one. You will have to go school, do homework AND take care of your child. You won't be able to hang out with your friends, you'll be tired and your relationship with boys will be different because you're no longer the only one that boy is dating. That baby will make you a package deal. It'll take a lot away from you, so if that's what you want you need to be ready.

Most importantly out of this whole thing, you need to tell your parents ASAP. Let them know what's going on and maybe see what they say about the whole thing. Tell them that abortion is not an option and that you may be considering adoption or keeping it. Your parents should be as helpful as possible, and I'm sure no matter what you decide, they'll support your decision. I definitely wish you luck, and I really hope you keep adoption in mind.

Is it horrible for me to hate my sister?

We have never really gotten along before. I am 21 and she is 19. We have both had very different up bringings. I was raised by my grandparents and she was raised by my mother.

She is a very attention seeking person and will do what others tell her or do or say things to fit in a crowd.. She doesn't work, throws in all her jobs because she doesn't want to work.

She has very minor 'operations' (its just like having a pap smear) and writes it all over face book for everyone to see. She never even finished school.

where as I, I have always worked since I finished year 12. In good jobs to, first in a lawyers office now in a doctors surgery. I have also studied through TAFE.

My grandfather who raised me passed away suddenly in August. He was only 58 and was never sick before, he suffered from a stroke and was in a coma for 30days before passing.

Now the problem is my sister is putting all over face book that she 'misses and loves her poppy' Um hello... she never had anything to do with him for 4 years!!! Every time our parents told her she had to come to nanna and pops house she would make herself vomit so she didn't have to go.

She's never really had anything to do with me before either. This isn't the only things that are contributing to my feelings of hate towards her.

Should I confront her and tell her that I wont don't want anything to do with her anymore and that she should stop writing things about my pop whom she's had nothing to do with for 4 years? Other wise i'm going to end up doing something childish that I will regret!

Thank you

This really is a touchy subject but I'm going to answer this based on experience.

My mother was abused by her mother, and moved out at 16. My mom grew up to resent her mother because of the way she was treated as a child, and stopped talking to her when I was a kid. Just recently, my uncle died and now my mother & her mother are talking again. It took a death for them to realize that the past is the past & that they need each other regardless.

I understand why you have an extreme dislike for your sister. I really do. I was in the same situation with my mom. I hated her mother for what she had done, but I can't change the fact that she's my grandmother. I'll always disagree with her actions, but like I said, the past is the past, I wasn't alive then & there's nothing I can do about. I'll always love my grandmother.

I think it's a little unfair of you to say that she shouldn't write things about your grandfather. He was her grandfather too and even if they weren't close, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him. So, you can't really tell her what she can & cannot write about, but you need to tell her how you feel. Sit her down & be mature about this. You're 21 years old, act like it. Be honest with her, and be stern. Make sure you get your point across (without being rude).

Trust me, if you shut your sister out of your life, and something happens you will regret it. You don't have to be her best friend, but be civil.

im 18 my boyfriends 20..and im pregnant.
we were so careful..we used condoms and bc but we ran out of condoms and thought it would be ok. i took every pill on time but im pregnant. he wants to give the baby up for adoption and i cant, i already love it. does anyone have advice on how and can convince him to keep it? no lectures please.

Your boyfriend cannot make you abort the baby, he cannot make you keep it, and he cannot make you give it up for adoption if you do not want to. It is your body, and your life - therefore it is ultimately your decision. Yes, he helped you make that baby, BUT since it's your body, what you say goes. If he doesn't like it, that's too bad.

If you want to keep your baby, then keep it. Just know that nothing about this situation is going to be easy. It is very hard to raise a baby alone & even with a spouse sometimes. They are very expensive, and take lots of time & care. It's not something that just anyone can do. Make sure you read lots of books, maybe take some classes & get yourself as prepared as possible.

Good luck.

okay so long story short im a cheater.... but i never feel bad about it. why? why don't i ever feel guilty?

Because you have no ounce of care for the person that you're cheating on, or cheating on them with. I can honestly say that it won't get you in far in life though, so get some help.

so my boyfriend was over yesterday, and i have my period so i was wearing a tampon
we got into an intense "dry humping" session, but today my vj hurts A LOT
like, it feels like a giant bruise
is this normal?

That is completely normal. You just got a little into it & dry humped harder than you should've.

ok, im 13 (turning 14 at 12.08.09) im a male and i need advice on what to tell people i want! everyone asks me what i want and im not sure.(this question also goes for chistmas)can give meh advice?!? thanxx

If your friends are asking you what you want, gift cards always work! I know they can be a little tacky when it comes to a relationship, but if you truly can't think of anything else, gift cards are a life saver. Ask for gift cards from your favorite store or establishment. If you like books or comics or whatever, ask for a gift card to a book-store. If you like clothes, ask for a gift card to a clothing store. Anything works.

If your family is asking, think of something you really enjoy. Do you like video games? If you do, ask for a video game that you've really been wanting to try. If there's a new electronic you want, ask for it. iPods make great gifts, as do PSP's or cameras.

Any of these gifts will work. You just need to decide. Look around on sites like Wal-mart or Target to get an idea.

i wont a sleep over with my best friend, but the thing is im not the best at making a good conversation and its always her making the conversation an i think she is abit sick of it tbh. anyone no how i could make an interesting funny conversation ? thanks :)

Ask her about stuff. Ask her about her classes at school, or her other friends. Ask her about her home life, or her interests. Ask her about her favorite movies, and music. Those topics will break the ice & will allow you & your friend to bond through agreements & disagreements. :)

what matters more to you, what you really really want or what you deserve? and why?

Everyone will answer this question differently.

In my personal opinion, it's both plus one. You need to look out for what you want. Being indecisive and unsure about things can be a little uneasy and make things more difficult than they need to be. But, you also need to look out for what you deserve. If someone's treating you like shit & you know you deserve better, drop the situation & do what you need to.

Here's the plus one: Remember that not everything is about you. Having everything be about you will make others think that you're self-centered & selfish. Remember that there are other people around that you should care for & who matter.

Those 3 things should matter equally.

I know that tattoo's ruin job prospects, but to what extent? I have a tattoo on my upper arm- the middle of my bicep and tricep. People barely see it because its never warm enough here to wear short sleeves. Would it ruin job prospects even if you cant see them? like..if they would be covered with a shirt?

I read about a firm in japan, if you showed anyone a tattoo, you would be fired. what do you all think?

It is perfectly acceptable to have tattoos, and it's definitely possible to have a job while you have them, BUT there are exceptions just as there is to every rule.

If the tattoo isn't visible & won't be unless you're naked, I wouldn't worry about losing the job. They won't see it, so it shouldn't affect your job. If you have visible tattoos however, like a sleeve, or on your neck, face, hands, etc, it can affect your chances & most places will not hire you. You can be applying for a job where you'll be out of sight and they still won't allow it.

Just remember not to get anything super large & visible, and you should be fine.

OK mi bf wants me to give him a blowjob and i dnt know if i should or not? and he tells me tat u cant get pregnat and im not really sure what do u say? Hes the most amazingest thing in ta world to me and i want to please him soo what shld i do? and im a female well duhhh

If you're unsure about whether or not to give your boyfriend oral, then you probably shouldn't. Chances are you're not ready, and you will end up regretting it. Don't let him pressure you into doing anything that you don't want to. It is okay if you tell him no, and if he has a problem with it, he isn't the one.

You cannot get pregnant from giving a blowjob, but you can get STD's so you really need to be careful & really take that into consideration.

Hello! I'm wanting to get an aeropostale brand babydoll style shirt on ebay. The woman has small and medium. I have recently gotten babydoll style shirts from there, and I've gotten small. I used to wear small in tank tops from there, but they're sizes run so small that the tank tops got so tight on me. My point is I have a small bust, and I'm not sure if I should get small or medium in this shirt I want. The woman told me both of the shirts have a length of 26, the bust size for small is 15, and the bust size for the medium is 16. That is not a huge difference at all, but clothing does shrink. I wanna be able to wear this shirt a lot, and I don't know if it would be smarter getting small or medium. Keep in mind that I do hang dry a lot of my shirts! If someone could give me some input, it might help. Thank you so much!

When buying clothes that you know run small, you should always buy a size up from the size you normally wear. Go for the medium.

16/f

I consider myself a straight individual. I've always been attracted to guys, and I'm only interested in having a romantic relationship with a guy. But sometimes I question if I am weird or not, because I like to watch porn. Especially girls, either with another girl or with a guy. It really arouses me and makes me consider want to like, touch and goof around with another woman and their bodies. However, like I said I would never want a relationship that way. Its like a curiosity, I guess.

Is this normal? Is watching porn bad? I'm just really afraid my parents might find out or my friends.

There's nothing at all with watching porn. Everyone watches it & those who say that they don't are lying. Same deal with masturbation.

Anyway, it's absolutely normal to be curious as well. Everyone gets curious at some point in their life. Some people act on it, and some people don't.

You don't need to tell anyone that you like to watch porn, and you don't need to tell them that you wanna experiment with a girl. It's your choice to speak up.

You're normal.

This guy (history with him, not gonna go there) posted this status on facebook and i'm trying to figure out if he's talking about me.
so here it is:

Weird thing is that the only reason ive been keeping my mouth shut is cuz u said you would handle it..well you havnt. And i don't know how much longer i can stop from saying anything..

If you've done something he's talking about, then yes he's probably speaking about you. If you haven't, then don't be so vain.

I'm now starting to question my relationship with my supposed "amazing" boyfriend. He acts completely different with me than with his guy friends. He treats me like a princess and does everything a good boyfriend should when he's with me and I love it. When he's with his friends he turns out to be an *** and a douche bag. He talks like SON ARE YOU WHIPPED ON HER?! or like he calls his friends F-A-G-S :/ wtf and they all just act like douche bags together. He talks about me like I'm a freaking accesory rather than a girlfriend. They talked about if I like to take charge and ride him on top WTF?! I wasn't even there when they were talking about this but my friend said he heard them talking about me/other girls like that. I was really pissed off by that. First of all I WAS OPEN WITH THIS GUY ABOUT PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING MOST GUYS DON'T EVEN GET PASS A FIRST DATE WITH ME. I'M THAT PICKY AND VAIN WHEN IT COMES TO BOYS. HE'S SUPPOSEDLY OPEN WITH ME TOO. WHO KNOWS MAYBE HE LIED ABOUT HIS PAST ALSO! I'm starting to question him and our whole relationship. I'm freaking out. I really really like him like A LOT. ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY BRING HIM HOME TO MY PARENTS TO MY MOM'S BIG SOCIAL EVENT with all these gross socialites in Socal. Any help?? What should I do?

Guys are different when with friends, but that situation can be helped. It is possible for your boyfriend to say that he doesn't kiss & tell and that what you guys do in the bedroom or when together at all is none of their business.

If he can't be respectful both when you're with him & when you're away, he doesn't deserve you. It's completely possible for him to not talk about that stuff with his friends, he just chooses not to.

Hey, I'm trying to find the right laptop for me... and I know nothing about laptops. My boyfriend has a black Mac.. he bought it probably for about 1,500.. and he says they're good, it's lasted him for a little over two years now. But my friend says that's a horrible decision and they get hacked the most easily. I'm leaning towards a mac, but is that the best idea??

I want something with a built in webcam/mic so I can video chat with my boyfriend while he's away at school, and something that can hold my schoolwork, music, movies, photoshop or other programs like the rosetta stone. Which laptops hold the most space and will last me a good 5 years?

Sorry, like I said I know NOTHING about this stuff. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

I honestly don't know much about computers, but I do know some things when it comes to a Mac. I've used a PC my entire life (I'm exaggerating), and never used a Mac until last October. I can honestly say that Macs are so much better than PCs.

With a PC, you have to download a bunch of spyware blockers, and things so that you don't get viruses. You don't have to do that with a Mac. Macs have built in security software that usually update not only automatically but frequently. You're always protected. You'll almost never get a virus when using a Mac.

They also have a good amount of space, but if you find yourself a little short on space, an external hard drive is a great purchase. Macs last a long time & if you happen to have an accident with water (it happens) they can always be repaired. It'll be costly, but it'll work after & you won't have to dish out another $1500 for a new computer.

They do have the built in webcam/mic so you can definitely video chat with your boyfriend. I live 2000+ miles away from my family, so video chat comes in handy when I'm online & lazy to pick up my phone. :) It can hold your programs & then some, so I would definitely say that you should make the investment.

I can honestly say that after using a Mac, I'll never go back to a PC. They just wither in comparison. Mac's are pricey, but sooooo worth it. :)

My period is 2 weeks late but my breast has been sore for about 5 days now. What could it happened? I've also been sick for 5 days (the week that my period was supposed to come) and I didn't eat because I had upset stomach. Btw I'm 20 years old.

P.S. I'm not pregnant because I have never had sex and I'm still a virgin.

I think your period might be late because you've been sick. When people are sick, sometimes their hormones get a little out of whack & things go a little weird until they get better.

I think once you stop being sick, your period might come. As far as your breasts go though, you may just be growing still. :)

Don't worry, I'm sure your period will come soon. No worries.

what are some excuses to say when someone asks you were you bought something and you don't want to tell them?

You could:

- Say it was a gift.
- You bought it online.
- You don't remember.
- At the store.

Any of that would work. I usually say at the store.

Right.
Ill make this SUPER short.
I just want a straight up answer.

My 2 friends ashly and marianne have been really distant.
me and my friend jess are fully sick of it. we have all been best friends this year. but we have all kind of parted.

should i just gradly stop talking to them and let them be. i dont like talk to them bout this stuff because i have once before and they angus.
so shuld i just stop talking to them..

I think you should talk to them about it first before you do anything huge like that. Ask them why they're being distant towards you & Jess. If they don't have a reason, just tell them that you don't really have any reason to be friends with them still.

You & Jess can go do your own thing. If Marianne & Ashly don't like it, they can take themselves elsewhere.

If i tried getting my vagina to be cleaner by putting listerine on it?

It sure is. Don't pour listerine in your vag. It's gonna burn like all hell, and you'll regret it within a second.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>