about

I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)

Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.

advice

Im a guy and im about to head into college. What are some tips to get noticed by girls? Ive always heard that dating in college is more easy? or more hard? Any advice?

hey well I'm going to college next year and i'm a girl. Let me tell you this- I will notice a guy if he kind of makes the first move and starts talking to me. I'm not really the type of girl who will just see random people and become friends with them right away. Its easier for me when other people make the first move, then I just become myself around them and then we become friends :) So try to be outgoing and introduce yourself to girls. Remember this- most freshman in college are going to be clueless. They wont know where to sit at lunch, or where the cool parties are at, or where they can find the library. So just be cool and don't be nervous, because chances are.. they are feeling the same way! So if you see a girl just wandering around, say something like- dont worry I am new to this school too. or something like that haha. Also, find something in common. Even if its something stupid like you're both wearing the same shoes haha. Oh and another big thing is I will absolutely love it when guys can make me laugh out of the blue. So if I have no clue who you are, but you just come up to me and make me laugh, right away I will be happy and want to get to know you more.

Be yourself. don't try to have an attitude that's different than who you truly are, girls can tell and its always a turn-off. Smile a lot too :) Good luck and congrats on making it this far.

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Alright, there's a guy at my church who is a complete hit on youtube. He just got a record deal and he is sooo good at singing. He went to our local outlets and got mobbed with fans. I listen to his music and it's good, I dig it. He's a cutie and I would like to talk to him and maybe get to be his girlfriend if we get close enough. Now, my question is, should I talk to him about his music and how good he is? I don't know if I should let him know that I listen to his music or he'll think I am a crazy fan. I hear that famous people like to be treated like normal people because they are.

What do you think?
I am sixteen, female.
Thanks!

you could talk to him about his music, but most fans usually just talk about the music..

The one's that stand out are the one's that are different than the rest.

In other words- If all the rest of the fans are talking to him about his music, then you should stand out and talk about something different.

For example, talk to him about his other hobbies. Most musicians include their other passions inside the lyrics to their songs. Like one of his songs might be about his passion for skateboarding or something. So maybe listen closely to his music and listen to the text and see if something in there pops up that you could talk about.

Just be yourself and be normal. Maybe get 2 ice cream's and ask him if he wants one and then just casually talk with him. If he mentions music, just be like- "oh yeah I heard about your music. I really like it" and then casually switch the topic. If you linger in the music category, he could just think of you as a fan wanting to talk about his music, rather than a friend wanting to talk to HIM.

good luck and just be yourself :)

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Do you feel different after you have sex for the first time? Does it change you? What about all the times after that? Ps: my names Gracie and I'm 13

I agree with the other person- its illegal to have sex if you're younger than 16 and it gives you a really bad reputation too..

Yes you do feel different after you have sex though. Some people feel happy and pleasant. Others feel sad and guilty. I waited until I was 18 to have sex for the first time and I was extremely happy and satisfied because I knew it was with the right guy at the right time :) I knew that it wasn't just some guy I slept with.. it actually mean't something to me and i'll never forget it. I know that sounds really cheesy but trust me, when you're older you'll understand. Sex isn't just something you do... its about making love, and sharing something special with someone. You're only 13. yeah you can be interested in it and be curious and ask questions. But you're WAY too young to be doing it, especially since you don't fully understand the concept of making love with your significant other. Besides, there's always consequences like what if you're pregnant and then you gotta have abortion and its just way too complicated at your age. Take my advice and wait until you're older, and you know its with the right person.

On the contrary, some people feel bad and guilty after they have sex. It could be for many reasons- like not doing it with the right person, feeling guilty that you didn't wait until you're older, feeling sad because it wasn't what you expected etc. etc. The feelings you get after you have sex is different for everyone. You can even predict what feelings you would get. For example- I can predict that if you already had sex at this age, you'd feel guilty and unhappy. Because you didn't wait until you're older and more mature to understand what making love actually is, and that you didn't wait until it was with the right person (not some random person you wont speak to in a few years..) As for me- I knew I would feel happy afterwards because I knew it was the right time for me, the right guy, and I understood what having sex meant.

Oh and after your first time, its different for everyone. Say your first time was really horrible, well then your other times might be horrible too because you still feel guilty about not waiting.. or the other times could be great because you forgave yourself and learned your lesson, and then you waited until you were older and with the right person.

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Ok so yesterday I worked out.. Did some ab workouts and ran around the block and when I did it I really felt the burn but this miring I'm not sore!! Did they not work or what??:(

people react differently to working out. Some people's faces turn bright red when they work out. some people sweat, others don't. Some people get sore after 1 day, some get sore after a week, and some people (like you) don't get sore at all. Its just different for everybody. It most likely means you're healthy and that your body isn't in any way uncomfortable or anything. Do you work out a lot? because if you do, your body is probably used to the work out. If you don't work out a lot, it probably just means your body is flexible and healthy. Don't worry :) oh and don't force yourself to do "extra" or put too much pressure on yourself just so you can "feel sore".. that would be bad for you. Do as much workout as you can handle and after a few days or weeks you'll notice an improvement. Actually, doing more than you can handle puts strain on your body and muscles and can be very dangerous for you. One time I did squats with a bar and weights that was about 110 (normally i squat 90-100) and just those extra 10-20 pounds put a huge amount of strain on my legs and back and caused me some long-term issues. So yeah, don't do more than what you can handle. Your body can only withstand so much. But i'm sure right now you're fine :)

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i cheated on my husband and at first when i told him he was very angry. we have been able to talk about it but i still feel like we need more help because it feels like we have just swept everything under the rug. What do i do or do i just leave it alone?

Try going to a couples therapy session. Its pretty much a therapist helping you guys through your relationship/marriage issues and they can be a huge help sometimes!!

I wouldn't just leave it alone though. Its like a bandaid.. eventually it has to come off. If you try to fix it now, the bandaid will come off easier. However, if you just sit there and avoid the problem, it will hurt a lot more.

good luck!

oh and maybe its not a good idea for you to be in the marriage if you cheated..? maybe try to rethink about your marriage and see if its what you really want??

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What is it that people like about a girl who has brown eyes and brown hair? This is what I have and I just think it's so boring and blah. I'm trying to find the good in it.

well each person is different (unless you're a twin) so i suppose it's just that you're unique?

I have brown eyes and light brown hair. And people say my eyes look gold when I look in the light/sun. So i guess its just what other people admire about you. Oh and sometimes brown eyes can change to other colors, like my friend has light brown eyes and sometimes they turn to like a gray green color and other times a yellowish kind of color.

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I have been talking to this one guy and he started not texting me back yesterday. I knew he was busy but he didn't text me at all today. He also got pissed yesterday and shut me out so I left him alone. But usually when I tell him good morning he always replies and he didn't text me all day. When I worry he always tells me to relax and I am insecure and paranoid and I really like him and don't wanna screw up. But I asked if he was ignoring me and he got all pissy. How was I supposed to know he was at a wedding dinner like he said he was? He could've at least let me know. He always lets me know when he's busy. I'm hurt. I feel like I screwed things up between us. Help?

my best advice is to just relax.. if you want my honest opinion (and yes i am judging you) you sound like you're in a relationship with the guy...

He's probably thinking "who is this girl who keeps texting me so much?? why does she always want to know what i'm doing and is always asking me if i'm ignoring her??"

You really have got to just relax.. You're taking things waay too fast with this guy, and you're starting to get really serious with him.. He may not want to move this fast. When you text him every single day, asking him what he's doing and saying good morning and wondering why he wont text you and if he's ignoring you.. well that's something an overprotective girlfriend would do.. He's picturing you as a friend. But you're treating him like a boyfriend. He doesn't want that. He's getting all pissy at you because he doesn't want a girl always texting him everyday asking if he's ignoring you. Thats annoying. How would you like it, if one of your guy friends (just a friend to you, but to him he is like in love with you) was texting you every single day and bothering you so much? wouldn't you get irritated too? Thats how this guy is feeling.

Just realx, put the phone down. Don't text him for minimum of 3 days. If you guys are currently friends, then you should be texting him maximum of 3 times per week. No more than that. If you text him more than that per week.. its really clingy and comes off like a relationship kind of thing. Which is obviously not what he wants considering the way he is so annoyed that you talk to him all the time.

Cool off first, and then let him come to you. Don't be so clingy otherwise he will just completely ignore you and delete your number.

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Hi.... My crush for a few months now just graduated from my middle school, and I don't know what to do...... He's going to ninth grade now... while I'm going to seventh.... My best friend's brother is best friends with him, but she won't invite me when he is over.... What do I do? I really like him!

Well since summer is coming around the corner, find a way to communicate with him. Who says you need your best friend to get through to him?? have a fun summer with him and hang out with him a lot. Then once its school time again, things will just go with the flow. But my advice is to just relax, have fun, and don't worry about it so much. You're going to be a 7th grader and he will be a 9th grader (high school). You should know high school is almost a completely different world than middle school. The people there are more mature and you have more responsibilities. It is possible that he may move on and it will be difficult if you guys try to have a relationship because he will be going through puberty and becoming more mature.

Just have a fun summer with him and let things happen naturally :)

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Lately. all my boyfriend and i have been doing is fighting. He's saying i don't trust him at all. And before i go further into detail. I met him online. and i know what has happened to people who have met someone online. But back to the point, He has accused me of stalking his comments. Which i have only because i want to make sure my comments have been going through. Back to what i was saying. He just doesnt think i trust him. or love him too. And i don't know how i can prove to him that i do love him. And ontop of this all. His friends are saying im stupid for not knowing what i did wrong. And this is my first relationship too.

there's no way to "prove love".. you just gotta look him in the eye and tell him you love him, and that you're sincerely sorry. And hope that he forgives you. If he doesn't, well that sucks. its your first relationship and trust me you'll have lots of others. Its 1 guy.. honestly, if you even have to prove your love in the first place.. then he's not worth your time. A great boyfriend won't ask you to prove your love, because he will already know that you love him. Its not worth all the work and drama to prove your love for him, if all he's going to do is act this way towards you.

you're better off finding other guys who will respect you.

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Dear sir/madame,
I need some advice on how to write my discussions for physics SBA's I just can't seem to understand how to write it. For eg, one labs aim is to determine th acceleration due to gravity using a pendulum... In this one we used a retort stand, thread, pendulum, a stop watch etc... Need help urgently

first you write the title of the lab. (Acceleration of pendulum due to gravity). Then you write the purpose of the lab (the purpose is to determine the acceleration in km/s due to gravity for the pendulum) then you write your hypothesis of the outcome. then you make a data table, then a graph. Then a summary of the whole lab (what you did step by step. which instruments/tools you used) then you write (if any) analysis questions.

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I'm cutting my hair like this tomorrow:

http://www.google.com/search?q=jenny+mccarthy+short+hair&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1282&bih=597

and I've always had a problem with volume and body. I know cutting my hair this short will mean I NEED some sort of volume, otherwise I might as well look like I got a bowl cut.

I've tried Tresemme, and it's not really doing well. I also have a huge round brush, doesn't do the trick either. Neither does blow drying, with all this combined.

Should I get shampoos and conditioners instead for volumizing/body/shine, etc. instead of the mousse I've been using (Tresemme)?

Pantene really works for me. I usually just put mousse in my wet hair and then blow dry my hair with my head upside down. My hair will be super poofy (to the extreme) but then it will die down a little after a few minutes and it gives it the perfect volume :) sometimes I will even take my straightener (it needs to have rounded edges) and just curl the roots so its poofier. you can also tease the hair to give it height and volume, but if you do that too much, it can damage the hair. oh and lots of hairspray!!

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Im a shy girl and so is my boyfriend. We hug at school and we text eachother 24/7 and we talk on the phone. But when we are with eachother we are both too shy to start a conversation. It really bothers me but im just so shy because i really like him and i dont want to say the stupidest thing. We both want to kiss but we dont know when to, and we only can at school. Im 13 as well. Help asap?

umm why are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend if you're too shy to even talk and communicate??? You really should reconsider being in a relationship.. you're only 13. I didn't have my first boyfriend and even first kiss until I was 15. Wait until you're older and more mature to actually talk to the guy. To me, it sounds like you're not ready for a relationship. If you can barely communicate with him because you're "too scared to say the wrong thing" then you're definitely not ready for a relationship. Try getting out of your bubble more and start off slow. Start by talking to your guy friends. Then talk to strangers that are guys. Say Hi. whats you're name. Cool shoes. etc. Then start hanging out with guys and get comfortable with them. Learn the things they love to do- like video games or having a bonfire. Once you become comfortable around the opposite sex, then you know you're ready to be in a relationship. Don't rush it. So many people think you're supposed to be dating and have your first kiss by you're like 10... um thats not true. its different for everyone. Date whenever you're comfortable. Don't rush into it and don't feel pressured to do anything you're not ready for yet..

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This Guy at my work is always looking at me, but when I turn around to look at him, he noticed that I`m looking at him, then he quickly drops his eyes to contract on a costumer. But when I go over there to help, we talk and he looks right into my eyes. What does this mean hes 19 and I`m 25

because of the age difference, my guess is that he's too shy to tell you he likes you.

or he could just be one of those weird people that always gives people blank dumb looks.. there's this girl in my physics class that will always stare at random people for like 2 minutes straight (no joke) and literally have no expression on her face. Its like completely blank and stupid looking. its really weird. but anyways, try to tell what his emotions are by his facial expressions. if he's smiling, he might like you. if its just a straight/serious face, then thats creepy.... haha

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I'm 17 and my friend is 18 and I told her I was pregnant and now she's scared and she started crying. She's threaten to kill me if I have a baby. What can I do to calm her down ?

tell her its your problem and she shouldn't be freaking out over something thats clearly your choice.. I'm pro-gay, and pro-abortion. I believe its the mother/couple/individual's decision on who they want to marry or if they want an abortion or not. its not right of her to say she will kill you if you have a baby. Maybe thats her way of saying she cares a lot about you and doesn't think having a baby at 17 is the best decision for you.. Just calm her down and sit down and talk to her. Tell her that whats done is done. You're pregnant and theres nothing she can do about it now. Its your decision on what you wish to do with the baby, and yes she can have her own opinions but that does not mean she should be talking this way. Tell her you still care about her as a friend, and instead of having her "kill you".. tell her that you need her now more than ever. I bet having a baby at age 17 is a really really hard thing to do. remind her that. tell her you need her there for support and help. If she doesn't want to support you, then thats her decision. You do what you want, and let her do what she wants. You both can't control each other's actions. If she decides not to be friends with you anymore, well then life goes on.

Oh and maybe its karma for getting pregnant at 17.. you should have made a smarter choice, or at least been safer... :/

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I know the subject seems confusing, but I'm a person who's very shy but I'm outgoing around my closest friends, but I want to hang out with other people and still have them close to me, but the thing is I'm too shy and when I start to hang out with someone, I end up ignoring them because of my friends. So how do I start speaking up to a person to make them my friend? (too much "friend" in this subject)

I'm like that too. I'm real shy around people I don't know, but once I start making good friends, I loosen up and become myself and can be very outgoing.

You said when you start to hang out with someone, you end up ignoring them because of your friends? Why would your other friends cause you to ignore someone else??

Try doing things by yourself once in a while. Take this for example- I recently got involved in shopping by myself. Normally I shop with friends at the mall. But one day I had nothing to do and I encouraged myself to go to the mall by myself. I really enjoyed it and I actually spoke to strangers. I'm learning how to be more social and sometimes doing things alone allows you to do just that.

Once you make a new friend, introduce them to your new group of friends. It sounds like you have an old, good group of friends. but when you make new friends, it seems like you have 2 groups which is confusing. So try introducing all of them together. Throw a party and invite everyone :)

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I have posted a question like this before, and in hopes of my situation getting better, I stopped posting. However, it has not gotten better.

my mother treats me like shit. She calls me selfish and evil. She always wants me to be popular and get more active when I prefer to be quiet and by myself. She always brings me down. She tells me how much I remind her of my father because I am such a "selfish heartless ungrateful ass" and she always complains how I don't get anything done in life. I'm only sixteen and she has brought me down ever since I turned fourteen. She always tells me how stupid and slow I am when I don't do certain things right. I am very forgetful and she calls me retarded. When I tell her she makes me feel so horrible about myself she laughs and denies it and makes excuses. She even threatens to knock out my teeth and hit me and make me bloody. I feel horrible and depressed and nothing ever changes when she wants to talk about it. She hits my one year old baby brother for crying when he doesn't want to sleep and makes me baby sit him on school nights. She gets pissed when he cries for me and complains that I am nothing but a selfish bitch. I need help! Please.

Oh gosh I'm so sorry :( I haven't experienced anything like this but I can't possibly imagine the crap you have to go through.. You are so brave and strong, especially for a 16 year old.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? someone close and personal? your father? best friend? relatives like aunt or uncle? grandparents? teachers? school counselors? Try to talk to someone about this and let them know. Preferably someone older because they can handle it better. Your mother is not a good role model at all... in fact, she could be arrested for child abuse. Child abuse is emotional, verbal and physical abuse. So the fact that she is threatening you and saying these horrible things to you, means she can get charged with that. If that happens, she might go to court and lose custody of you and your baby brother.

You said that talking to her won't solve anything. So I suggest you stop talking about it and start ACTING on this. Take action immediately. Don't just stand there and take it. This is where talking to an older person comes in. They can help you especially help you get out of the house. At times like these, your mom really needs to stay away from you guys and be alone to think about her actions. If possible, you could even get a restraining order so she can't come near you without some kind of guard/police.

I'm so so sorry you have to deal with this. Inbox me if you have more questions.

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It all started on facebook, about a month ago, I recognised a name that had popped up as "suggested friends." We had graduated High School together, of course I added him. So, he accepted and started talking to me on there and then we started texting. We were flirting back and forth. He told me that I'm beautiful, that he liked me a lot and why he likes me. Then, we accidently ran into each other at a town event. It was random but nice, unexpecting too. Well, the event was Saturday and he usually texts me first but Sunday and Monday I texted him. I know it's just a text in all but today's Tuesday and he hasn't texted me. I know it could be a possibility that he's just busy and wasn't thinking or something. But do you think he no longer likes me? I need advice! Like, should I talk to him? What should I say? Should I just ignore it and move on? Just talk to him like friends?

All appreciated! Oh btw, I'm 19/f and he's 20/m.

yeah boys can be confusing like that haha. they like to play with our minds.. :/

you can do 2 different things. You can make the first move and talk to him. That will show him you're interested in him and want to get to know him more. Or you can ignore him and let him chase you.

it depends on how you like to play the game. each person is different. I like to play hard to get, so if i were in this situation, i wouldn't text him and make him wait. But you could be entirely different. Its what you want to do. Nobody can make the decision for you.

good luck!

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Hi!! well my friend is fourteen years old, and still has not got her period. Is there anything she could be doing to prevent it?

Its normal not to have your period until you're older. My friend didnt get hers until she was 16. I didn't get mine until I was 13. She's just fine. If you're that concerned about it, tell her to go to the doctors and see if everything is ok.

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im a guy in high- school. And before you read this, im letting you know that this is a serious question.
I know you might think im weird, but me and my friends made a bet on the last NBA playoffs game. And i lost, and i bet against 3 of my guy friends. So i lost.
Now, they are making me do something....
Theres like this really hot girl in my class, shes a rich girl, spoiled, cheerleader, hot, big tits and ass, fake tan, you know how it is. Anyways, i dont even know her at all. Ive never even spoken to her, but i stare at her ass all the time.
Anyways, my friend that i lost the bet to is making me slap her in the face randomly in class when nobody is looking. Im being serious. My friend doesnt like her , from some other reason, and he wants me to slap her. Not punch her in the face or kick her or anything, but just smack her like upside the head. Or he offered for me to grab her ass when nobody is looking. Hes making me do either one since i lost the best.
The thing is, even though it sounds messed up for a friend to make me do that, i kinda WANT to do it haha.
What should i do?

ugh ok first of all... if you EVER want a girl to respect you again, don't call her hot. don't say she's got "big tits and ass" thats immature. I know that if I ever heard a guy say that to me, I would slap THEM. Because to me, thats insulting.. even if you say it in the most sincere way and mean it from the bottom of your heart.. i would get so pissed off. Most girls want guys to say they're beautiful. So if you ever want a girl to respect you, you have to respect them and watch how you talk to them....

if you wanna slap her, go ahead and do it. hey, its your reputation. If you wanna be known as the guy who slaps girls in the face, and treats them like shit.. go ahead. do it and tell me what happens. I can gauruntee you that girls won't look at you like some kind of hero..

i'm sick of guys like you. if you want any sort of respect from anyone, you need to respect women..

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me and my bestfriend are planning on hanging out on monday, and we have no idea what to do! we're limited on money, and he wants to do something different besides chill at his house cause thats what we normally do every other time. any suggestions? x

get a video camera and make a movie
take a photography class
get a camera and do photoshoots/ taking pictures of each other
play outside
bike
bonfire
night games
make your own tie blanket (google it if you dont know what it is)
bake a cake/cookies/dinner
garden outside
play in the rain
make an account on advicenators and give out advice
go to walmart or target and have a scavenger hunt (make a list of things to find/do and have a race who can do it the first)
mow people's laws or rake their leaves for money
babysit/ play with kids

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