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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
ok, so i like this boy alot and my friend told him that i liked him and we excahngeed numbers...then my friend liked his other friend so we all went to the movies, well me and this boy kind of kissed and stuff. well the next day i was all happy and stuff, then that week i like called him every day but i was afraid to talk to him so we were quiet on the phone like always. then their came a time where he just cussed me out cuz i wouldn't suck his you know what. the next day i told him sorry. then i told this other boy that went to his school that i was going to fight him, and i told another boy from his school that i lost ma v card by him but it was a lie. but they told him and he got all mad cussin me out sayin well you are a tweak ur on my dick get off o and i didnt mention that he was still in love with his ex but anyways he just said alot of stuff that hurt me and i dont know what to do???
Im ashlee and im 15
and the boys name is corey and he is 16 "I NEED ADVICE!!!!!"
The Answer
He is a scum bag who tried to bully you into giving him a blow job.
He is the lowest form of life on the planet.
Stop talking to him, never apologize to him agian, and don't waste another second of your time on him. He has proven himself to be a filthy liar and bully.
Boys cuss out girls like this one did because they childish, selfish, bullies and a complete assholes.
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The Question
I am a 32 year old divorcee with three children. For the last six months I have been dating a wonderful man he is good to me and to my children. We get along well together and enjoy each others company. The problem? I just am not sexually attracted to him. We've had sex it's not that it's bad I just don't always want to do it. He is much smaller than I am accustomed to. Should I give up all the good things about our relationsip due to my lack of physical attraction for him?
The Answer
That is really up to you.
Personally, I think it's a recipe for disaster, but then, I have my own values and expectations. Yours might be different.
No one else can make this call for you, although frankly, I think if you find yourself seriously thinking about 'not being that into him' sexually, I would suspect that you aren't all that into him other ways as well. Sexual attraction doesn't happen in a bubble, espcailly in women. It's linked to emotional attachment and intellectual attraction as well. What seems like compromising in only this one little thing (sex) might actually be a part of a larger dissatisfaction with your relationship.
Might not be too, but it’s worth some thinking. After all, it’s rarely ‘just the sex’.
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The Question
I met my ex bf when I was 19 & he was 20. He went to an away college after us being together for 2 months. He was head over heels for me & would have asked to marry me within a year. I thought I loved him but I didn't because I cheated on him 3 months into our relationship. He came back for the weekend to visit & found out from one of my ex friends that I cheated. He asked me, I lied and said NO. He talked to my ex friend and then came to my work and asked again, I lied through my teeth. He finally had had enough and broke up with me and I admitted to it (October). I do know why I cheated. He went back to school. A couple weeks later we tried to be together again. (i was now 20, him 20) We broke up at the end of December because I wasn't doing everything to show him that he could trust me again. We somehow started dating again in the beginning of January. I saw him during Spring Break which was in March for a week. Then end of March, early April we both called it off. Neither of us could do it. I drove down to see him because I realized I didn't want to lose him. He told me, he didn't want to be with me and had moved on. (me 20, him 21) In June he came back home. We started dating again. Sometime in June or July, he went to the phone store, met a girl, had a good 1 to 2hr conversation and exchanged numbers with her. Told me about it a day later, I freaked, told him never to talk to her. Then his sister was trying to hook him up w some girl she knew (his sister knew we were dating but doesn't like me). I found out because I was leaving out of town in August, we were spending time together & I saw the text so he explained. I was iffy about leaving for a month with all this going on. He went to vegas with a couple guys & went to his sisters bday dinner & club with her friends. I came back & things were going alright. I was texting a guy friend I met when we were broken up but he knew I had a bf & he had no possiblity of dating me because he knew how much my bf meant to me (ill call him tim). Then one day, out of the blue, I got a 1am text from a guy I met when my bf & I were broken up in April. I texted both of those guys and one more, telling them I want nothing to do with them anymore because I love my bf and I will do anything for him. In December, he told me he finally trusted me. End of December, he told me he didn't trust me & just wanted to tell himself he did. After New Years, he came to talk to my mom. My mom told him that he can't be with me if he didn't trust me & we tried it again. I was now having a hard time trusting him but at the same time I did. About a week ago we broke up because, I wasn't trusting him, I was smothering him and maybe some other reasons he failed to mention & I don't remember. We talked last Friday and I spent the weekend with him, we had a great time. On our way back from our trip, we decided to be friends with benefits. Monday night he asked me to stay the night, we had a couple drinks & he saw that my friend Tim texted me asking how I was doing. I don't remember exactly what I said but I said somethings to him that werent nice and him as well and I left. He told me he's done with me and is moving on, he doesn't want to be my friend, he's not going to hurt either of us by getting back with me again. I told him okay I'm gone. Then a couple minutes after this told me, we should take some off and if we decide then to be friends, we can. I never replied back to this text. So after my LONG relationship I tried to shorten up, why does he want to be friends? What's going on?
The Answer
First: Please, please, please, please, write in paragraphs. This was so hard to read.
Second: You aren't going to like what I'm about to say.
This isn't a relationship. It hasn't been for a long time. You can't be on and off like this, dramatic and painful like this, and expect love and trust to happen. Human beings don't work like that. And then you wanna to try right at the end to be FWB?! Are you Crazy?! That NEVER saves a relationship.
All you two have done for the better part of the last year now is kept on fucking each other, but the relationship has been dead for a long while.
I think he was smart to say no to friendship in the first place, he just chickened out after the fact. But you ought to say no to friendship as well. You two have already realized each time you hang out you fall back into bed, and into a doomed miserable relationship.
Neither of you trust the other, neither of your behave all that well to each other, and you keep acting out the same old story of 'get together, break up'.
Stop worrying about what is going through his head! You can�t control it.
What is going on is that you are getting an opportunity to free of this mess. Take it the way out, or you will find yourself in pretty much the exact same position in another six months, and another year after that, and so on until you finally just let it go.
Accept this relationship is no longer a good idea for either of you.
Learn from this, and treat the next guy better, and expect him to treat you better.
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The Question
Are there any inventing companies out there that are reasonable in their pricing that you can just tell your idea to, and they will help you make it and market it? Or even just sell the idea to someone? Is there anything like this? I have an invention but I don't know how to make it so I need someone that can either work with a team and make it for me and help me promote it or someone that I can sell it to. Thank you.
The Answer
It's pretty much impossible to 'patent' something, and therefore own the rights to the idea, unless you also know how to make it.
It’s very difficult to sell an idea unless you are employed by a company to come up with ideas, like a marketer or a product developer... Or, if that idea is an object of art I geuss...
Unfortunately, without giving people here an idea of what industry or type of practical assistance you need to turn your idea into reality, I don’t think you are going to get much help. There might be some industry specific places people can send you if they had some catergories this idea might fall into, but as it stands, your question is too general.
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The Question
I don't know if this is in the right category or not but it seemed closest to what I'm feeling. Sorry if this is long. Okay, as everybody knows the Olympics are on and I have been watching. Seeing every Olympian out there doing what they love to do, hearing the grueling practices they go through of 2 hours of running and 12 hours of just practicing techniques everyday makes me have a new found respect for them but it also got me thinking. Is it weird that I don't have a passion for something? I know that may sound weird but I don't have something that I come home to and say like "I'll be out doing __ for the rest of the night!" or when I don't do it for a while I start to miss it. I have been watching videos of Shaun White and just hearing about the stuff he says about snowboarding, that he loves it and he doesn't even look at it as work, that he wakes up everyday happy and excited to be out on the hill, it makes me so upset. Lindsay Vonn and her passion for skiing, Shaun White and his passion for snowboarding and skateboarding, Sven Kramer and Apolo Ohno's passion for skating. I always think the lowest of myself "I'm not going to succeed in life" "You're future is going to stink because you won't have fun" I mean, I make my own clothes sometimes and that's fun for me, I love music, I play the clarinet and some guitar, I try and write my own songs but I don't come home and go up to practice music for 4, 5 hours on end. Is there really something wrong with me for not loving something?
The Answer
Honestly, I think the people who do have that kind of passion that are the weird ones.
Not weird in a bad way, but weird in the uncommon way.
We like to say, and to tell our children, to go out there and find the thing you love to do and do it!
Its nice advice, but the truth of the universe is that most people jobs are just jobs. Some are very good at them. Most don't hate them. But they are still just their jobs.
Those of us who devote our lives to something we are passionate about are uncommon. It takes a mix of talent, and dump luck to find yourself in a position to pursue your passion. And that is if you are even lucky enough to stumble onto one. Many people don’t have something like that in their lives.
There is nothing wrong with you. Most Olympic athletes are young, rarely even thirty. The vast majority of them will go on, get degrees in some other field, and stop being sports professionals by the time they hit forty. They will have ‘other lives’ because their passion, and their ability to pursue that passion, will wane. The ones who make careers in the sport as coaches or teachers, are the rarity, not the rule.
Sure, they have very intense passion and drive, but it won’t last for most of them, and that doesn’t diminish their triumph right now. They will go one and have different kinds of fulfilling lives.
In this, just like with everything else on TV, it’s important not to mistake it for total reality. It’s just a little snippet of highly edited reality, crafted into interesting stories for our viewing pleasure. You can’t judge yourself based on it anymore then you should judge your life up beside The Bachelor or Jersey Shore. Athletes are awesome, devoted and talented people, but they are also just people. Do what you are moved to do, and don’t feel shame about it because some people are TV were moved to do something else, and do it extremely, and were lucky enough and talented enough to do it at the Olympics…
If you like your life, then go ahead and like it. If you don't like it, think of ways to change it so you will. But never snub or feel shame about the love and joy and passion you DO have, just because it doesn’t look as shiny as the people on TV.
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The Question
I had crushes on boys when I was young. I found them attractive and all. I started dating my freshman year. He was my first boyfriend. I was with him for two months and then broke up with him because I found out a guy I had a crush since 8th grade was going to ask me out. He didn't. My ex bf asked me out a month after we broke up and we were together for another 2 months. Then we broke up because I didn't want to lose my virginity to him. Sophmore year I started dating a guy in Febuary that went to another school. At the same time started dating another guy who went to school with me. Didn't see any harm. Broke up with the guy at my school because of rumors and just went as far as kissing him. The other bf I lose my virginity to and not right away. I was with him on and off for 9 months. 5 or 6 months into our relationship I started seeing another guy on the side. Broke it off with the guy on the side. Stayed with the guy I lost it to. Finally broke up with that guy in September. Junior year at the end of December over winter break I dated a guy for a week and the other for 2-3 weeks at the same time. Broke up with the week one because he wasn't treating me like a gf. The other one I stayed with for the heck of it and broke up. Started dating another guy in the beginning of january and not for long at all. Broke up and didn't date until the end of May. Was with this guy for 2 months and during one of those months was with another guy. Broke up with both sooner or later. Started dating another guy in August for 9 months, didnt cheat on him until the end of our relationship. The first time was around march with a friend. The other time was in June with one of the guys I was with before. NONE of these guys know they were cheated on. Didn't date anyone from June until April so almost a year. Started dating the last guy I was with the one for 9 months. Met another guy and was in the process of breaking up with the 9 month guy bc I found out he lied and sorta cheated on me. The guy I started dating in June doesn't know any of my past history I listed. He thought because I told him I would NEVER do it. I hate cheaters! I cheated on him 3 months into our relationship, HE FOUND OUT, i have been trying to earn his trust back and so on. We have been together for almost two years. I cheated on him 3 months into our relationship, cheated on him again 10 months in (he doesnt know about). Broke up for good, dated around, tried dating the recent ex bf again and havent cheated on him for 8 months. We arent together now for other reasons. I know I am this terrible person because I can't believe I did this. At first I didn't think much of it. I'm 20 now and I don't want a life like this. I'm dissappointed with my past. I cheat, I lie, I hide things, I have stolen in my life and I don't like who I am. The last guy I was with I loved him and I did everything I could to prove to him my cheating was a mistake but it wasn't because look at my past that he doesn't know about. He doesn't know that I have stolen, he doesn't know I cheated, he doesn't know how many times Ive had sex, our relationship started on my lies and he has no idea how many times I have lied. I have lied about TERRIBLE things!!! I just don't know about MYSELF anymore! PLEASE someone help. This is the first time I've asked about this and told them almost everything!
The Answer
You aren’t really going to be able to forgive yourself, until you change.
You aren’t addicted to cheating. Cheating is a behavior, not an addiction. Addictions have to be cured, and behaviors have to be changed.
And changing takes time. It takes a long time to prove to yourself that you’ve changed.
The only thing you can do now is decide, firmly and totally, decide, what things you will no longer do. Maybe you need to write a list down of behavior you are now promising yourself to stop doing.
Sometimes when we fuck up, we get the idea that gives us permission to fuck up again. ‘Cause hey, what does it matter? We are already awful and wrong! Doesn’t matter if we do more wrong!
Remove that permission from yourself, and start holding yourself to higher standard right away. It will still take time to prove to yourself you’ve changed and can be better, but its either that or NOT changing. And obviously, not changing would suck.
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The Question
I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 18..we've been together for 2 and a half years and I just don't want to be with him anymore.
He is driving me crazy..he's extremely controlling and obsessive, where he calls and texts me 24/7 and if I don't answer a text while I'm at school or something then he'll text over and over and start calling. I haven't hung out with friends for real just about the whole time we've been together,because he gets so jealous about it and accuses me of doing stuff with other guys, but whenever he has ever had the inkling to hang out with friends then he will and he'll ignore me.
So idk I'm just tired of arguing with him constantly..every day is a struggle. I find myself like looking out my window and getting paranoid when he calls cause I feel like he's gonna just show up..cause he's done it before.
I've been trying to cut back onthe amount of time we spend together, because we used to be together ALL the time. So now I've been using school and stuff as an excuse to not spend so much time together,but it's not making anything any better..he's just getting more obsessive and it's gotten to where i can hardly stand to be around him..I just want out. But I feel bad about it because we've been together so long and he talks about wanting to marry me soon and all that..plus he's got a bad side and I'm kinda afraid he might try to do something crazy..
anyway..I just need some advice please!
The Answer
Well, there is no question you need to dump him. If you want to dump him this badly, then you need dump him.
And after two years togeather, he deserves a face-to-face dump. The only valid reason to not break up with him in person would be if you feared for your safety, but even so, do it in person in public, with someone waiting to drive you or pick you up shortly after.
After that, you need to protect yourself. Protecting yourself means making it clear you want no more contact from him, and it means NEVER, EVER responding to his contact. Save his messages and crazy stuff, so you can hand it off to the police if you need too. Tell him you will call the police if he shows up, and then if he does, do. Let your work know if you need too, so if he comes around there asking questions, they know not to be helpful. Make plans to not be home alone as much as possible.
Don't be nice when you dump him. Don't say "Maybe we can be friends." or "I just need a little while apart." Those would be lies. Tell him the whole truth: You are breaking up with him and you do NOT want to be his friend or speak to him agian.
That might sound very difficult and fierce, but it's the first step to protecting yourself. Once you've been that clear, you can call the cops if you need too, because you've told him what you expected, he's not confused then, he's being evil.
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The Question
I had recently gotten a paper for Barbizon Modeling Agency. I was thinking last night when I got it but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with it or not because it can run into a lot of money. However, throughout the day today I was thinking a lot about it. Moises Arias of Hannah Montana took the Barbizon classes, as did Nicole Anderson of JONAS, and Sofia Vacilliavas (spelling?) of Medium and My Sister's Keeper. This was the second time I got this paper and this agency wants me to call to book and audition on Sunday, today is Thursday. I think I could be really good at something like this and if I like it, I can go around and call myself a model and I think that would be a great feeling, I just want to be a part of something bigger than myself to be able to say I am passionate about something other than music, who knows where music could get me in life. So, if anybody took the course at Barbizon can you tell me what the audition is like, what the classes are like, what kinda things you learned and how much money it may run into, matter of factly, if you modeled at all, please tell me the statistics of your agency. Thanks a bunch!
The Answer
I'm not a model and I haven't had any personal experience with Barbizon, but I can answer parts of your question because I'm accustomed to working with acting and writing agents, and I know what to watch out for in these bussiness.
Barbizon is a rather dishonest in the way they present their business. They don't appear to be a flat out scam, but their websites and literature is misleading.
Barbizon is not actually an agency, although they like to call themselves one. They say that to mislead young girls into thinking that if they pay Barbizon the big bucks, Barbizon will help them find work. A real agency NEVER charges you money until they find you work. Then they receive a percentage of the contract they arranged for you. That is what it means to be an agency.
Barbizon just runs an extremely expensive 'Modeling School'. In fact, when I was FINALLY able to find some price sheets (it always, ALWAYS sets alarm bells off in my brain when price is that difficult to find) they are a good deal more expensive than anything else I've ever seen (modeling, voice training, screen-acting workshops).
Some people online though, have seemed to have positive confidence building, experience however.
So, in short:
The mislead people by using the word 'Agency'.
They are much more expensive than comparable products I’ve seen for young actors and models.
They aren't upfront about their prices.
That doesn't make them a 'Scam'. You might still go and have a good time, but don't kid yourself, they are in it to make MONEY, not models. If you are serious about MODELING and not just looking for a confidence boost and some (rather expensive) make up pointers, look elsewhere.
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The Question
My girlfriend and I both believe she has the symptoms of depression. Her sleeping schedule can never remain stable and she typically sleeps an average of 14 hours a day, more or less. She's home a lot since she's currently unemployed and has had no luck with jobs she's applied for. She doesn't really have any friends locally since she moved here a year ago. She basically just has me and my family. I've been trying my best to help her, but being the only one working, my time during the day is limited too.
What makes matters worse is, i'm making barely enough to make ends meet and neither of us have health insurance. I've looked up local clinics and plan on calling in the next couple of days to see if we can get any free services.
I guess what i'm posting to ask about is advice from other people who have gone through or have been very close to someone who is depressed. Should we turn immediately to prescription drugs? Personally, I've always been one who turns to medication as a last resort. I can't speak for her though, but if I can offer any input or ideas, i'd like to. I've considered things such as maybe taking short walks together in the morning before I go to work and in the afternoon when I get home, trying to help her out more in seeking work, and basically anything to keep her brain busy and prevent her from just mulling around all day. Like I said, these are all things i've considered and nothing i've executed yet since i'd like input.
Anything you can offer would be helpful. I'm just seeking out first hand knowledge or someone knowledgeable on the matter. Thanks in advance!
The Answer
Eating well is the default first step to deal with almost any mental health issue.
You might also suggest she kill two birds with one stone and do some cooking or baking. Although money is tight, the pieces of most dishes are often cheaper than buying frozen or pre-package foods. If it's something that she enjoys, it's a good way to spend an afternoon.
Taking walks together is an excellent idea. Exercise is the other part of a healthy diet.
Also, find the closest library. If it's within an easy walking distance or public transit, go down there one day with her and pick out videos, books on tape, and cool things to read (like cook books maybe?). Public Libraries are free, and could become a habitual outing for her to break up her time.
She might also take a look around and see if there is any place within an easy walk who needs volunteers. That will get her out of the house at a set time, interacting with people and it will look good on resume.
However, here is the biggest problem I see with your question:
Although it’s very good that you want to be supportive, your girlfriend must take the lead role in changes, or nothing is going to work. Instead of turning to her is saying “We’re going to try this.” (Which is not only a bit belittling, but also defeats her before she has even started) give her these suggestions and say “Do these sound like good ideas? Which ones would you like to try?” If you approach this trying to ‘fix’ her, she’ll probably resent you and sabotage your efforts. That’s just the natural response for a person with depression. Mental illnesses seek to protect and insulate themselves from change. She is the one who will have to overcome that, and she’ll have an easier time doing that by taking the lead and making her own choices, not by passively following through on your instructions.
So be very aware of how you communicate these plans to her. If you push her into a particular course, it’s likely her heart won’t be into it, and it’ll fail. Then the lovely little depression-talk can say “See! See how pointless this all is. I told you so.”
Finally, I’ll add my notes on medication:
Medication saved my life.
It’s a very valuable tool and much of the ‘demonization’ and stigmas around it are total bullshit and misinformation.
I don’t think it ought to be a ‘first resort’ or a ‘last resort’. But I think you exhaust all other physical possibilities before trying anti-depressants, and not get the idea they are a cure-all. They aren’t magic pills, they are simply aids. That means she should speak to a doctor to make sure there are no underlying physical causes, improve her diet and exercise habits and make all movements towards the lifestyle changes first.
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The Question
i've been living with the mental condition brain fog for 6 years already. [i just recently found out i had this condition; i diagnosed myself ] for those that doesn't know what brain fog is; "it's a condition where people are in a state of confusion and a decreased level of clarity. Brain fog can cause an individual to be abnormally forgetful and detached. It can also lead to a feeling of discouragement and depression."
i've been extremely depressed, tried to commit suicide several times, been called "delusional," became anti-social, and lost numerous interests that i used to love doing.
i coudl feel, touch, smell, see, and hear my surroundings...yet i feel as though i'm not mentally there. everything seems so fake.
i tried everything the doctor told me to do; more excersise, more vitamins, a change in diet and such...yet i still feel dead. i want to feel alive again...i do not know what to do.
i do not want to suffer from brain fog for the rest of my life. those six years having brain fog has already taken so much out of me...
help.
The Answer
I'm afraid NinjaNeer is right: You can't self-diagnosis a mental condition any more than you can self-diagnose cancer.
Also, you have to remember that much of the information you find online is TOTAL bullshit. For example: Brain fog isn’t a condition. It’s an old term for a symptom. The actual medical term used in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is Cognitive dysfunction and it’s not a condition by itself, it’s just a general term for a SYMPTOM of an underlying condition. So mental health professionals define brain fog as something that is caused by something else, and look for the root cause. Brain fog is a symptom of several mental illnesses, including ADHD in Depersonalization disorders, but not a mental illness by itself.
If you’ve done your best to seek all the physical solutions through diet and exercise, then it’s time now to talk to a mental health professional, preferably a physiatrist, because it sounds like there is something inherently wrong at a cognitive level, not a behaviour problem.
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The Question
Someone told me there was a facebook app that would tell you who is checking your profile.
Problem: I can't find it!
Can someone help me find out if I am being stalked on facebook?
Thank you!
The Answer
You can't find it, because it's a scam.
It's a scam that appears every few months, and then Facebook catches it and shuts it down agian.
Even if it WERE possible, it would be agianst the Terms of Use for Facebook.
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The Question
17/f
My ex had given me a promise ring two years ago and I had just recently found it. It's gorgeous (he did have a lot of money) and I like to wear it alot. However, I have a new boyfriend and we've been going out for almost a year now. The ring has no sentimental value to me once so ever. I just think it's pretty. Is it wrong to wear it now that I have a new boyfriend?
Please give me your opinion. Thanks :D
The Answer
If it's clearly a promise ring in it's style, yes, that's not really appropriate.
Otherwise, it's not so much 'wrong', but it might still be 'unkind' or 'insensitive'.
Show your new boyfriend a bit of respect and let him know what it is, where it came from and how you feel about it. Discovering after months of you wearing it that it is a promise ring from an ex, would be naturally upsetting. So be honest, and hear out his feelings on the subject as well.
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The Question
16/f
I think I might have a urinary tract infection. I checked the symptoms online, and they all match up. I'm going to tell my mom to take me to the doctor, but I'm worried he'll ask me questions about it in front of my mom and I don't want my mom to find out that I am sexually active, because I think that's what caused it :/ I don't have a car so I can't take myself to the doctor's,so she'll have to take me but I just don't want the doctor to ask me in front of my mom if i've had sex :/ please help, any advice will do thanks!
The Answer
Tell your mom, before you get there, that you want to go into the doctors exam room alone.
She might be suspicious, you can't control that. But you also can't lie to a doctor. So prepare your Mom so there are no sudden suprises: You are old enough, and you want to speak to the doctor by yourself.
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The Question
How do you get your rating up? It seems like no one rates people anymore!
The Answer
I have to point out the irony here: You asked this question, and have read the answers, but didn't rate anybody!
If you ask questions often, but don't take the time to rate, you are part of the exact problem you are asking about.
I agree more rating would be nice... I get rated about once for every five or six questions I answer, and I get an actual comment with those ratings every few times. Like other columnists have said, you can't force rates; you all you can do is just keep slugging away and doing your best.
(Well, you could also rate the people who answer your questions too. That would increase the number of people on this site using the ratings!)
EDIT in response to feedback:
Dude, you just gave me the biggest laugh of my day and the perfect argument to never take ratngs the least bit seriously! But way to go on rating the answers. Did you know you could look back through your question history and rate all past answers too? There is no time limit on applying ratings to all the advice you've received.
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The Question
how do you seduce a man with a foot fetish?
The Answer
It sort of depends.
The clear path would be to go for a nice pedicure and wear sexy open-toed shoes.
But foot-fetishist, just like 'boob guys' come in all shapes and sizes (pun intended). Some want socks, some want nylons, some want shoes, some want sandals, some even might want stinky. So, if you aren’t in an intimate relationship where you can ask him just what camp he is in, go for the easy standard of nicely groomed feet and take each sensible opportunity to show them off.
Unfortunately, fetishes don’t mean ‘out of control nut bars who got nuts every time they see a girls feet’, so make sure to use normal flirting techniques too, or else you’ll probably just weird him out.
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The Question
Hey, im 18/f, hes 20/m. so my boyfriend of 2 years went on a cruise with his friends. He isnt here for valentines day =[ but they went for his friends birthday, so i waved it off. but, for valentines day, i put new lingerie in his bag to find when he unpacked, and sent him a picture of me wearing it to his email because i thought whatever, hes seen me in other things before, why not? He sent me an email back, saying we'd have to get a new thing because his friend ended up licking and biting the lingerie, and saying that they ALL loved the picture, and asked me to send more. There are pictures on freaking FACEBOOK of his friends licking and biting the said lingerie.
now, i know i need to take responisbility, because i DID send the picture and DID give him the lingerie, but i really did not expect him to show his friends. I mean, they had seperate rooms so its not like if he had a roomate who stumbled upon it. I was completely shocked, and embarassed, and self conscious. I felt humiliated and used. I am furious. I emailed him back like hahaha maybe next time, so i woudlnt make a big deal of it and sound like a bitch in front of his friends, but really? so unneccesary. but i dont know what to do. My anger is KILLING me, and i cant seem to get rid of it. Is my reaction logical? How should i tell him about how i feel? should i just try to forget about it? How can i forget about it? ahhh, I dont want to get into a fight about it but i am SO angry. I cannot believe he just did that to me. I felt as if we were 13 and he sent a naked picture around school and showed our "sexting" or something like that. Please, help me.
The Answer
Sure, you need to take responsibility, by dumping his ass.
Your reaction is completely logical. The man took something sexual and private and shared it with his buddies. I'd give him a pass on showing them the underwear... that's just silly, but showing them the picture? That's betrayal, plain and simple. If he doesn't have the sense to know that something like that stays between the two of you AFTER TWO YEARs together, he doesn't have enough sense to fill a shot glass.
In your position, my e-mail would have read a bit differently, I would have said
“Ha. Never going to happen. You showed the picture to your friends? Maybe one of them would like a girlfriend who sends as awesome gifts as me, since you don't know how to treat a lady who gives you a private present with any respect. If you want to date a porn star, go find one. In the mean time, you can forget about ever getting another photo, because it was meants as a gift for my boyfriend, not for a group of prepubescent little boys.”
You absolutely can't forget about being disrespected so deeply and completely. If he is willing to pass around a picture of his girlfriend, what other things does he feel comfortable 'sharing' with his friends?
You were made to feel like you were thirteen, because he acted like he was twelve.
End communication with him until he returns, and when he comes back, let him have it. You need permission to be angry? You've got mine. Go all out at him. He has it coming.
You can, and will, blame yourself for sending him the photo. Clearly, that was a mistake in judgment on your part, but let him know damn clearly, that your mistake in judgment in sending him that photo, has made you wonder if you made a mistake in judgment in dating him. (Although you don't mention breaking up with him in your question, in my opinion, you should seriously consider it. This man practically whored you out to his friends. If he doesn't immediately and completely grovel and admit his mistake, he doesn't deserve you, or really, anyone.)
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The Question
Which kind of condom is the best/worst kind to use?
The Answer
The worst kind of condom is one that is past it's 'best before' date, has been stored in a pocket or wallet, wrinkled and bent and you aren't even sure where you got it in the first place (His friend give it to him? Did you get in health class two years ago?)...
The best kind of condom is one you bought new, stored in a dry place without any extreme temperatures, didn't warp or bend or carry around in your purse or wallet, is fresher than a year old.
There is very little difference between condom brands. By law, all condoms have to met the exact same standards. That's why you almost never see condom ads saying “Our Condoms are Safer than their condoms!”... they are all offer the exact same degree of protection. By law, they have too, and there has been no new technology in the last few years that makes one significantly better than another.
So the big differences in condoms are all about how you have treated those condoms. Condoms that are stored, treated and applied properly, offer the best protection.
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The Question
Right, my fiance split up with me... his friends said that i cheated on him with one of his other best mates, which i didn't... i wouldn't cheat on him... but he wont let me talk to him at all, i just really need to speak to him and talk things out with him... how do you think i should go about it... i want to prove to him that i wouldn't cheat and that i love him more than anything... something amazing i can do, which will show him this... Help Please?
and i'm 16... so keep that in mind when you answer it. Thanks x
The Answer
If he can't believe you, he wont. Even if you get him back this time, you can bet he'll flip out and 'punish you' agian, the next time he suspects something rediculas.
There is nothing amazing you can do to prove your point, unless you can get one of his friends to admit to the lie.
Take a deep breath and give him some room. If he begins to realize how silly he's been, he'll come back and give you a chance to explain. But if he doesn't already doubt the lies about your cheating on him, there is nothing you can do to fight that degree of crazy. You can't prove the sky is blue to someone who is crazy enough to believe it's orange with green spots.
Just stick to the truth, hope for the best and let it play out. If he doesn't come back on his own, nothing you can do will make him.
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The Question
Okay first of all, I live in Australia.
I don't have regular visits to the dentist and i brush my teeth about once a day(im too busy to do it more) but sometimes i dont brush, and i don't floss either. And i know what your going to say: "Well what did you expect". I just need help.
I woke up this morning and my mouth was full of blood, and i had a small blood clot. I brushed my teeth, then washed my mouth out with salt + warm water then i washed my mouth out with mouth wash, and the bleeding has stopped, for now. Theres still a small red thing where it was bleeding from and if i press on it, it will start bleeding again, so i won't do that.
Can anyone tell me how to get rid of it? I don't know if its gingivitis either because my mouth doesn't hurt and i don't have swelling at the moment but it most likely is gingivitis. Dentists cost ALOT and i dont have any dental insurance or whatever, all i have is a medicare card(i dont know if america has it so i dont know if you know what medicare card is) and I don't think my bulk billing doctor can help because he aint a dentist.
Can anyone helpp? The dentist isn't an option because i have no money, especially ranging from hundreds of $$.
The Answer
Go to your doctor.
I've had gingivitis. In fact I had it for years until I stared carrying a tooth brush with me everywhere and using special mouthwash and forcing myself to floss at least once a day... So I know some people just have naturally worse mouths than other people. I brush double the amount of most people and still don't have great gums. But I also know it's really, really important. I used to think I was way too busy, but I make the time now 'cause I realized how sick I could make myself if I didn't...
Anyways, all I mean to say is, what've described doesn't sound like the way gingivitis ever happened in me, or the way I was told it might move forward if I didn't stop it.
Your doctor might not be a dentist, but they can still advise you. You need to start taking oral hygiene really seriously, and you might be helped with some prescription mouthwash to keep the sore clean and healing well.
However, you do need to see some medical professional, because you don't even know for sure what it was yet. It could be a cyst in your mouth, or another kind of virus, and you absolutely need to know. Mouth sores are a serious thing and can really muck up your life and endanger your health, they can lead too all sorts of heart and blood problems, not to mention take all the joy out of food.
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The Question
Kay. My boyfriend (whos now my ex) left to teach in another country last year and during that time i found him on a dating website and we broke up over aim. Just recently I've been talking to him and some of his friends are meeting him at the airport when he comes home and he asked me to go. I actually think that he wants to get back together with me (based on some things he said) and i would like to get back with him but i don't want to make it easy for him, you know?? Sooo should i go to the airport or would it be better if i didn't?? Its happening in like 2 days so any advice is appreciated!! =]
The Answer
Nah. Don't go hang out with him and his pals in a strange party/welcome back sort of mood. That is like the very defination of 'making it easy for him'. Unless you have a better reason to go, like hanging out with people you haven't seen in a while, or another draw to this get togeather besides your ex, hang back.
Stay in your element and don't give him the cushion of all his friends being around. That puts you in a weak position, and you might fall back into 'something' with him without the groundwork being laid for an actual relationship. If the boy actually wants you back, let him come to you with the face to face apology you deserve.
It's not about playing hard to get (which I don't think is EVER a good idea) it's about being honest with yourself about your reasons for being in his company. If you want to see him 'cause you want back with him, the place and time to lay the groundwork for that is not out with his buddies, it's quitely between the two of you.
If you really want him back, and he doesn't reach out to you. Then give it a few days and call him up and ask to hang out, and talk it out then.
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