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symptoms of depression showing, what's next?
My girlfriend and I both believe she has the symptoms of depression. Her sleeping schedule can never remain stable and she typically sleeps an average of 14 hours a day, more or less. She's home a lot since she's currently unemployed and has had no luck with jobs she's applied for. She doesn't really have any friends locally since she moved here a year ago. She basically just has me and my family. I've been trying my best to help her, but being the only one working, my time during the day is limited too.
What makes matters worse is, i'm making barely enough to make ends meet and neither of us have health insurance. I've looked up local clinics and plan on calling in the next couple of days to see if we can get any free services.
I guess what i'm posting to ask about is advice from other people who have gone through or have been very close to someone who is depressed. Should we turn immediately to prescription drugs? Personally, I've always been one who turns to medication as a last resort. I can't speak for her though, but if I can offer any input or ideas, i'd like to. I've considered things such as maybe taking short walks together in the morning before I go to work and in the afternoon when I get home, trying to help her out more in seeking work, and basically anything to keep her brain busy and prevent her from just mulling around all day. Like I said, these are all things i've considered and nothing i've executed yet since i'd like input.
Anything you can offer would be helpful. I'm just seeking out first hand knowledge or someone knowledgeable on the matter. Thanks in advance!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
If you go to a clinic most likely they are going to give you drugs. I think they're overprescribed, but I also know they work sometimes when nothing else does. The best thing is to get both anti-depressant drugs AND counseling. If you can find a clinic that provides both at no or low cost, that would be the best thing. Unfortunately a lot of them will only provide a certain number of free sessions. But the important thing is to be proactive. It's good your GF has you for support and that she knows something is wrong -- admitting a problem is the first step.
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Eating well is the default first step to deal with almost any mental health issue.
You might also suggest she kill two birds with one stone and do some cooking or baking. Although money is tight, the pieces of most dishes are often cheaper than buying frozen or pre-package foods. If it's something that she enjoys, it's a good way to spend an afternoon.
Taking walks together is an excellent idea. Exercise is the other part of a healthy diet.
Also, find the closest library. If it's within an easy walking distance or public transit, go down there one day with her and pick out videos, books on tape, and cool things to read (like cook books maybe?). Public Libraries are free, and could become a habitual outing for her to break up her time.
She might also take a look around and see if there is any place within an easy walk who needs volunteers. That will get her out of the house at a set time, interacting with people and it will look good on resume.
However, here is the biggest problem I see with your question:
Although it’s very good that you want to be supportive, your girlfriend must take the lead role in changes, or nothing is going to work. Instead of turning to her is saying “We’re going to try this.” (Which is not only a bit belittling, but also defeats her before she has even started) give her these suggestions and say “Do these sound like good ideas? Which ones would you like to try?” If you approach this trying to ‘fix’ her, she’ll probably resent you and sabotage your efforts. That’s just the natural response for a person with depression. Mental illnesses seek to protect and insulate themselves from change. She is the one who will have to overcome that, and she’ll have an easier time doing that by taking the lead and making her own choices, not by passively following through on your instructions.
So be very aware of how you communicate these plans to her. If you push her into a particular course, it’s likely her heart won’t be into it, and it’ll fail. Then the lovely little depression-talk can say “See! See how pointless this all is. I told you so.”
Finally, I’ll add my notes on medication:
Medication saved my life.
It’s a very valuable tool and much of the ‘demonization’ and stigmas around it are total bullshit and misinformation.
I don’t think it ought to be a ‘first resort’ or a ‘last resort’. But I think you exhaust all other physical possibilities before trying anti-depressants, and not get the idea they are a cure-all. They aren’t magic pills, they are simply aids. That means she should speak to a doctor to make sure there are no underlying physical causes, improve her diet and exercise habits and make all movements towards the lifestyle changes first.
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Like Holly had said below a healthy diet will help balance her depression. Also, You could try to get her into counseling there should be clinics in your area. I'm not sure what state you are in but some good places that could help are South Shore and Bradley. If she doesn't have insurance then I suggest trying to apply for it in the meantime you could try to find a clinic that has a payment plan. Sleeping 14 hours a day is not only very unhealthy but it will only make her depression a lot worse, Try to get her out of the house. Even volunteering will help a little, Babysitting etc. I can't tell you to turn to prescription drugs but I can say I think she needs to talk to someone and I don't think medication would be such a bad idea.
EDIT: If she recently has been unemployed she can also try to file for unemployment
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It is already a good thing that your girlfriend is aware of her symptoms. This means you won't be dealing with denial. Due to chronic illness I suffered depression symptoms for a few years. I don't have health insurance either. I highly suggest getting on a steady and healthy diet and taking vitamins, specifically a multivitamin, vitamin B-12, and vitamin D. This may not seem like it's doing a lot for a while, but you should start seeing some changes if you're patient. I also suggest that she find activities to do, hobbies to pick up, etc. This is where you might need to help out because she will probably not feel like it but she needs to be active. Laying around all day, as you said, mulling about not having a job isn't helping her out at all. It's a great thing to keep yourself busy. Learning new things is a great way to do that so encourage her to pick up a hobby, maybe learn how to play an instrument or something. If you decide nothing is working, a last resort is always prescription medicine. I was put on Prozac about a month and a half ago and it hasn't done much more than make me jittery and give me headaches, although that could possibly just be a personal reaction to it. They tell me that sometimes it takes patience finding the right medicine. I hope this is all helpful in some way and I hope that your girlfriend starts feeling better. Good luck!
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