Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30933
|
| |
|
hey guys. my names callie (im new) :P im 14 and i want my nose belly button lip tounge or eye brow perced. they are not that much difrent in price. my mom says i can get 1. she thinks the nose. or eye brow. i like lip.. im still desiding. is there is there any things you would do? or anything bad about them. i really need to have a percing that is easy to take care of and wont scar my body forever. thanks :P (link)
| |
As a guy, I hate piercings except for the ears. The only one aside from that is the bellybutton and that is it. To me, a girl who gets pierced anywhere else looks trashy.
|
|
I was raped about a year ago and I have slowly began to date.I feel like I have to do things with my boyfriend. He keeps saying things like "oh well when your ready", but he says it a lot, like if he says it enough I will change my mind. We do things, but I end up freaking out and feeling guilty about it afterwards. We attempted sex once,but I ended up shoving him away and curling up and crying. Any ideas on ways to help? Please I feel lost!! (link)
|
What happens is that you are associating sex with fear and violence and thus have developed an aversion to it. Perfectly normal reaction for not just rape victims, but for anyone who has experienced trauma.
The main thing is you need to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him:
1. What happened specifically.
2. How you felt about it step by step.
This way, your boyfriend will have a clearer picture as to how you feel.
Now listen, there is no obligation on your part to have sex when you aren't ready for it. But you also need to reassure your boyfriend that you aren't punishing him for the act of another nor do you have a problem now with men in general.
What is complicating this is that you feel guilt about not giving your boyfriend, who seems to love you, what he wants because when one is in love one wants to give themselves totally to the other person. Well, you have no reason to feel guilty. Your boyfriend isn't you. You have to do what is right for your life since you are the only one who can live it.
Now how far do you go with him before you start getting the heebee jeebees? My advice there is that if sexual intercourse is too hard for you right now he would be fine with him using your hand on him. Or you guys can masturbate in front of each other. If you only want to kiss and be cuddled, that's fine, too, but that won't be enough for some guys. Tell him how far you WANT to go, not what you think he wants to hear because when you rebuff him again you will just confuse him.
Most importantly, don't blame yourself for what happened and don't think you're somehow dirty because of it. You are a victim. You didn't want the attack. The attacker is dirty and has the problem, not you.
Of course, I think you should see a therapist since they have the skills to help you through your trauma. Good luck.
|
18/F
Okay my husband is in the Navy. He wanted me to come out for Thanksgiving since he has Wednesday to Sunday off. Well I tried to get it off and I couldn't. I just feel like I didn't try hard enough to get that time off. I feel so horrible about it. We've only been married for about 3 months and I've seen him once. And he understands that it didn't work out. He gets to come for Christmas though. I just don't know how to stop feeling guilty. (link)
| |
Look, sometimes you have to accept that some things are beyond your control, such as the reaction of your employer to your request. You guys are young and have another 50 or so years to live your lives, so relax and don't turn everything into an unnecessary drama. Stop blaming yourself for everything.
|
|
..But is it a bad thing to like my sister in law's step brother? (link)
| |
Not at all. Go for it! No laws being broken there.
|
|
okay so i see your point on how being a virgin means you cant do it up the butt. Consider this though, you can get an STD by just having him rub his dick against your vagina withough inserting it into the vagina or butt. So i consider being a virgin if you have sex in the vagina because if the reason for sex is to have kids and by your definition of sex (doing it in the butt or vagina) then technically you can get pregnant in the butt? no you cant so technically losing your virginity is having sex in the vagina not butt, because you cant get pregnant by doing it in the butt. (link)
|
First, I wish people would stop obsessing on virginity. There is nothing special about it. Yeah, you might put off sex for a whole raft of pragmatic reasons (you aren't on birth control and don't want to get pregnant, you aren't ready for it emotionally, you have religious issues with pre-marital sex.
Btw, you can get some nasty STD's with anal sex. Genital warts is probably the big one. HPV can be transmitted during any sexual act. So there is no guarantee of not getting STD's with anal. There is a remote, and I mean extremely remote, chance you can get pregnant with anal, but it can happen (semen leaks out of your butt, somehow gets smeared on to your vagina and a sperm makes a run for your egg).
|
Which one would you say looks better !
http://www.footlocker.com.au/Product/Mens_1/Footwear_5/Casual_11/ADIDAS-ADIRACER-LOW_2594/index.aspx
http://www.rebelsport.com.au/ecom/rebel/product_detail.aspx?id=30981&cat=401
http://www.rebelsport.com.au/ecom/rebel/product_detail.aspx?id=36091&cat=401
http://www.rebelsport.com.au/ecom/rebel/product_detail.aspx?id=38651&cat=401 (link)
| |
Spam.
|
|
I am his first girlfriend and well i slept with my old boyfriend and i have to break up with him. How should i do this I am his first girlfriend ever and my friend says that he is gonna tell me he loves me! Oh crap!!! What should i do?????he's never even kissed me!!!! oh shit!!!!! (link)
| |
Breaking up with someone is never easy. I think you feel some guilt for cheating on your boyfriend, too. Nonetheless, it is also evident that your current relationship isn't working or you wouldn't have resorted to the old backdoor man. So be honest and tell your boyfriend the relationship isn't working for you and it would be better if you saw other people. Lying sucks for a whole raft of reasons. Therefore, just tell him what I told you and let the chips fall for where they may.
|
|
I'm kind of shy and quiet, especially about my love life. I don't know how to tell a complete stranger about the abuse that happened to me. I have told a few people, and still feel guilty and dirty about it. I don't know how to make sure that the person I am spilling my personal thoughts and feelings to is going to make things better or accidentally make it worse. Anybody got any thoughts or ideas? (link)
|
It appears to me that you really need to work this out and only a professional therapist is going to help you through it in a satisfying way. Most people just don't have the skills to fully help you exorcize your trauma.
But for now, the only thing I can really tell you is that you didn't deserve the abuse, you're a good person and you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. Your reaction to the abuse is very common and understandable.
Good luck.
|
|
Is their something wrong with me because i have small boobs? What does that mean? (link)
|
The are advantages to having small boobs:
1. Men will take you more seriously. A lot of bib boobed women get the fetishist types or the guys who think a girl is a slut just because he had D cups.
2. Guys will make eye contact with you rather than staring at your cleavage when they talk to you.
3. If you are an achiever in business people will not make the assumption you got hired or promoted because of your body.
4. People won't assume you're stupid. Sorry, but a lot of guys assume big boobed women are dumb.
Look, as a guy, the issue for me with boobs is shape. You can have an A cup or a D cup or anything in between, it doesn't matter as long as your boobs have a nice cute shape to them. It's mostly about the nipples for me anyway. So stop picking at yourself. Your boob size is determined by genetics, so there is nothing you can do about it unless you have them surgically enhanced, which to a lot of guys, including me, is really gross.
|
Like to get stuff signed and what not. Do they automatically assume they're slutbags (who are trying to sleep with them haha) who don't care about their music? Or are they flattered by it, and see the person in a good light? like high school age girls.. 16, 17.. that sort of thing
I don't want to give a bad impression, and I know they're just regular people, but it's hard to not get excited about possibly meeting one of your favorite bands. But when actually meeting them it's not like I'm screaming and w/e, I try to be chill and just soak up the experience. Are bands annoyed by fans, who wait after, by their tour bus, to meet them? or what? Like relatively mainstream indie bands, specifically. Bands like MGMT.
What do they think of fans who give them gifts, like relating to some "inside joke" they have with fans, or like a small painting inspired by one of their songs. just examples. do they throw them out right away, pretty much? (link)
|
There is a natural disconnect between fans and the artists they admire.
To musicians, the road is a long, tiresome slog and they often have to deal with a lot of dickheads from their record company, radio stations, the press, etc and after playing on stage for a couple of hours they are pretty much shot at the end of the night and just want to hide in the tour bus to be alone with their own thoughts or just to sleep.
For the fan, the concert is a big occasion that they may have been looking forward to for a couple of years while for the musician it is just another job shop, so to speak. A tour is, in a sense, a musical forced march, not the neverending party some fans believe it to be.
Also, don't forget today's sue happy legal environment. A band tries to meet some fans, someone gets hurt in the crush and soon they get served a subpoena.
Even when you do something you enjoy, doing it everyday turns it into a job. So it is great to enjoy the music, but when you then attempt to get closer to the band or artist it really sets you up for disillusion and having a bad taste left in your mouth. Enjoy the music but leave the personal contact out of it.
|
|
Why? Why do numbers have to decide where we're headed? I was always told that we go to school to learn. Well, If I learn a lot and get poor grades, I'm "Not doing what I'm supposed to" So basically if I get bad grades, I'm not learning, even if my tests prove the opposite. I don't get it. I think the system needs to be re-designed. I think tests are more important than homework. In fact, I think our grades should only be based on tests. They're the only thing that proves we learned something. And nowadays, its like knowledge does not matter anymore. All that matters is an unfair number that does not have anything to do with intelligence and ability, and degrees that show how much of this bull you've been through. I'm starting to hate school. And then there's the SAT, which is classist and unfair. Ontop of that, the whole money thing is bull. Why should someone from a different town in the same state & country have a better education just because that town's populace has a higher income & lower population? (link)
|
You raise a lot of valid points, but the work load you do in high school is nothing you will have to do in college, where significant parts of your grade will hinge on only one or two 20 or 30 page papers.
You're right about the SAT, which is a total ripoff and doesn't predict academic performance at all. I never even took it and graduated from college with honors. And yes, rich folks do have an advantage on working class people since legacy admits at the best schools generally underperform even affirmative action admits.
However, as another commenter noted, you have to prove that you have some thinking and communication skills (unless you're a business or PE major, the two lowest performing majors on any campus) and aren't just good at simple rote learning. This is why many major firms won't hire from vocational schools like Phoenix University or ITT Tech.
This is also a capitalist society, which is as obsessed with numbers as your average baseball junky. It's just the way it is. High school is rife with a lot of wasted time and nonsensical busywork. I did the bare minimum I needed to graduate and otherwise partied my way through that part of my life before I got serious in college.
|
So I'm a 20 year old female who recently got out of a year and a half relationship. All my relationships have always been with a male. I mean I've always had an interest in females started acting on it at 18 and now that I'm single again I've been talking to this girl my "potential" Girlfriend. Would be my first ever girlfriend. Anyways shes known as a "hot commodity" in the lesbian world alot of girls seem to just flock. Now I'm a sensitive girl I don't like getting my feelings hurt so I don't know if I should go for it... We've known eachother over a year met at school but started "talking and fooling around" a few weeks ago. Shes a good sweet talker and she def. has charm. She wants to earn my trust but its hard to when shes constantly on her phone talking to girls blatantly flirting with them over facebook. Then tells me I'm the only one she wants to talk to. Its just so confusing because I don't want this gut feeling of her being a player to be true even though she claims to feel the
same way. YIKES! (link)
| |
The rule of life is, if your gut tells you something ain't right it ain't right. She totally sounds like a player, so you're better off finding someone who isn't.
|
I have a girlfriend who has a serious kinky fetish she finds very erotic. She can't seem to stop putting her hand over my mouth AND keeping it there. She does this dozens of times to me throughout the day, especially in open public and at the movies. Usually it is to keep me quiet so she can talk. I am expected to sit quietly and not touch her hand. But there is a definite foreplay/sexual overtone to it that I do appreciate.
She especially likes to do it in front of others and strangers, most often her girlfriends. And once her hand is clamped over my mouth, she doesn't seem to know when to let go! Her girlfriends see it as cute, affectionate, intimate, and sexual. She has even invited a few of her girlfriends to do this to me and several of them have been doing so!
I asked her why she does it. She said that covering my mouth allows her to feel in control and dominant as a woman. She calls it girl-power. In truth, I don't really mind it because her hands are very pretty, soft, sweet-scented, and clean. And it does feel very erotic and intimate to let her control my speech.
But there are times I would like to be able to talk and be heard or understood. Having your girlfriend's hand over your mouth every day for long periods of time with orders not to speak certainly does put her in control. And sometimes she expects me to talk while she keeps her hand in place for her own amusement!
I really love her and don't want to end the relationship over this. But she says she cannot stop the behavior because doing it in front of others gives her a heady rush of sexual excitement and disciplinary control. Some might call her fetish controlling, rude, immature, and inconsiderate.
Is there a way I can better appreciate or understand her hand-over-mouth habit? Is this normal affection and intimate foreplay? Is it appropriate for her girlfriends to do this to me too? I cannot get her to stop and in general, I don't dislike her habit--especially in private. But I would like to be able to talk sometimes and not be so controlled. Is there a balance?
Any thoughts on her fetish and how to modify or live with it without making a big deal out of it? Thanks for any wisdom or insight you may have. (link)
|
Here is what you do: you ask her if you can schedule a time to talk about whatever issues you have and that is when you air your grievances. Write them down as they come to mind for when she allows you to discuss them. Otherwise, be quiet like a good little subbie boy and obey your Mistress.
That last sentence is said half in jest, but that is really what she wants. She is humiliating you in front of her girlfriends and you seem fine with it. That's cool, but keep in mind that the BDSM world is obsessed with protocol, so you two have to discuss what your own protocol and limits as a couple will be.
|
|
how do i keep my husband focused on things that we NEED to talk about to resolve the continuous and serious marital issues? he cannot face truth or facts. he always finds a way to divert the subjects either by acting out, anger or changing the subject. if i say something he doesnt want to hear, he 'acts out'. (link)
|
Marriage counseling, unfortunately, is just the last stage before the divorce papers are filed.
Men are not raised to talk about deep emotional issues as women are. We are rewarded for what we do (especially how much money we make). When we are with our buddies we do not talk about our feelings unless it involves expressions of aggression, who we want to screw or about some hobby we have in common. Consequently, men are very uncomfortable talking about the issues you are no doubt bringing up since they feel cornered and defensive, which causes the evasion and lashing out you are seeing. So if you want to stop talking past each other, you're going to have to learn to discuss things on his terms. Leave the typical female emotional blackmail out of it. Decouple the emotion from this and try to be rational and not overthink things. Bullet point your argument instead of giving him the War and Peace version. This is your only shot because your usual way is only causing him to tune you out.
|
I am a 20 year old female enrolled in northern illinois university. I met my boyfriend here freshmen year and we have been dating for two years. He has been an athlete on the golf team here at school, but was cut from the team last week. He wants to golf professionally, so he is going to try to find another college to play golf at. His parents live in south carolina. He said he might go back there to go to school.
I feel like this could hurt our relationship greatly. I do not know what I should do. I thought about transferring schools to be closer to him, but there is so much to think about when doing that. What should I do? Please help. (link)
|
At your age, it is not a good idea to be tied down anyway. You need that exploratory part of your life and if you don't do it you will regret it. Sometimes in loss there is opportunity. Stay at your current school, date around, go live overseas after you graduate and, if it is meant to be, you guys can hook up again after y'all have grown up some and have a firmer fix on what you want out of life.
Also, if he wants to be a pro golfer, he is going to spend at least half the year on the road. So do you want an absentee husband? That is what a lot of pro athletes are. Be practical about this now or you may be miserable later.
|
|
how do i ask a guy out without asking him...hinting him to ask me?? (link)
| |
You know what guys REALLY hate? Women who play games. If you're interested, ask him out yourself. It takes all the pressure off of him and makes you seem honest and forthright, too.
|
18/f
I met a guy through online dating a few weeks back. We really hit it off. He only lives a few miles away from me and shares almost all of the same interests. He also seems extremely sweet! He said that he wants to take me out on a date, and I really want to go. Now, the dating site I met him on does background checks. Obviously he's not a psycho because they let him through. We've also skyped multiple times, so I know he's actually a real person. However, I have a problem. For the time being, I live with my parents instead of in a dorm (for various private family reasons). Because I'm at home, I'm basically under a microscope. My parents are very open, liberal, and accepting- but they're also very nosy. I have no idea how to breech the topic that I met a guy online and want to date him! I don't know how comfortable they'd be with that. I'm an only child, so they're pretty protective. How do I tell them??? Of course I'd be super careful. I'd let them meet him and make sure they think he's "sane." I's also go on dates with him in public places and avoid situations where I could get into trouble. But, as far as I can tell, he's normal and sweet. How do I tell them? (link)
|
Even though you guys have met on Skype, you should make the first date something low key and in a neutral corner that is not near your house. Meet him at a coffee shop or some other place with lots of people around just so you have more of a chance to vibe him before you decide to get into his car. If you met him at a bar you would have that opportunity. Online, not so much.
Having said that, if your parents are that progressive, the meeting online won't be an issue because so many people do it (my last girlfriend, who I was with for three years, I met online). It's a manifestation of the kind of society we live in nowadays. Your parents are going to worry about you regardless of the medium of introduction anyway.
|
|
I am a middle-aged man,and have for some time wanted to start a gay relationship. I have tried online and just DON'T know what to say (except for the obvious- that I am a novice), or what to do to attract men. I understand all the "safe sex" stuff. I like women, but REALLY want a man. The question is pretty simple: How do I start? What to say? I'm not after boys- unless you consider 18 to be too young, but they just have SO much energy! Are there young men out there who want a middle-aged man? (link)
|
The problem you may have noticed is that the gay culture seems even more obsessed with youth than the general culture does. So for a middle aged guy just starting to really act on who he is, this can be pretty daunting. The only thing you can do is just keep putting yourself out there and hope for the best. Be honest and otherwise just act like how you did with women, only on the gay tip.
Also, do you just want hookups or do you want a relationship? If it's the latter, you might have a better time finding other men than the former. You might also hit the gym because a lot of gay men go to them and the more in shape you are the more likely you will attract someone (gay guys are men after all and are as visually focused as their hetero counterparts).
|
I am 18 years old almost 19(female) and my ex-boyfriend is 20. We are both at the same college. My ex-boyfriend and I were dating for six months, and he recently broke up with me because he wanted to focus more on his fraternity. I've come to the conclusion that because of his reason, he obviously does not care enough about me. I know that he definitely still has feelings for me and still loves and cares about me. My question is, what can I do on my end to try to make things work? It has been especially hard because we were extremely close and he was my best friend. Now that we have been broken up, we barely talk or see each other. At the same time, we went to the movies yesterday, but that's an exception. But I recently decided to not talk to him for a week, which has already been extremely difficult. I just want to know how I could increase the chances of us getting back together, without being pitiful. I would've let this go if there wasn't real love and connection involved. (link)
|
First, guys don't break it off with their girlfriend because of fraternity issues. What likely happened is that he either got what he perceives to be a better offer from another girl or your relationship just ran its course. At your age, you guys are still growing psychologically and so sensibilities change, too. Yes, he can still love you as a friend, but he just isn't feeling it when it comes to the intimacy issues. There is nothing you can do about this.
Keep in mind that often in loss there is opportunity. You are now free to date around and explore life unfettered by the opinion of your now ex about it. Do that exploration because if you don't you will regret it later.
|
|
i do love my boyfriend but i still like my ex and well it doesnt help much when your ex is at your school and rides your bus! I know i have boyfriend and yes ill get over him but right now hes in my heart right with my boyfriend! (link)
| |
As long as you are committed 100% emotionally and physically to your boyfriend and you aren't holding anything back from him then this is no big deal. I believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time. You just have to handle that fact responsibly and considerately.
|
|