|
I am not going to get to see my Navy husband for Thanksgiving and I feel awful! :(
18/F
Okay my husband is in the Navy. He wanted me to come out for Thanksgiving since he has Wednesday to Sunday off. Well I tried to get it off and I couldn't. I just feel like I didn't try hard enough to get that time off. I feel so horrible about it. We've only been married for about 3 months and I've seen him once. And he understands that it didn't work out. He gets to come for Christmas though. I just don't know how to stop feeling guilty.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's possible that by trying a little harder, you could have gotten the time off. It's also possible that by trying a little harder, you could have pissed off your boss and wrecked your chances for getting time off at Christmas as well. Second-guessing will drive you crazy, so try to put that to rest if you can. You did what you could, and trying to do more would not necessarily have made things better.
You may be able to alleviate some of the guilt by planning something which will make his trip home for Christmas especially memorable. Plan a date which you know he will enjoy, cook his favorite meal, and/or let him find you under the tree on Christmas morning wearing a big red bow and nothing else. Whatever works for you.
Unfortunately, these kinds of long absences and struggling to make the most of short visits is par for the course in a military marriage. It's something you'll have to get used to. Cultivating the guilt may eventually turn it into resentment, so one way or another, you'll have to learn not to blame yourself when something like this happens.
]
Look, sometimes you have to accept that some things are beyond your control, such as the reaction of your employer to your request. You guys are young and have another 50 or so years to live your lives, so relax and don't turn everything into an unnecessary drama. Stop blaming yourself for everything.
]
I'm sorry you and your husband won't be together for Thanksgiving. I somehow have the feeling your husband is newly enlisted and in Technical Training.
When my son was in Technical School in the Army his school was at a base just 40 miles from home. He too was in school for the Thanksgiving Holiday. The Army issued passes to those who could show confirmed tickets for travel within a certain radius of the base. The others had to stay.
When I went up to sign my son out for the holiday I also signed out as many of his friends as would fit in my 8 passenger van. It was a little crowded both at home and in the van but my wife and did enjoy having the young men in our home for the holidays.
While I know you are going to miss your husband and he you. Hopefully someone close to the base will invite him and some of his buddies to their home for the holiday.
I know what I have written doesn't take the hurt of not seeing him for the holiday away. As a Navy wife there will, unfortunately, be many more holidays that he will not be home for. As he and his ship will be deployed. Please don't let him know how hurt you are. Disappointed yes, but upbeat that in less than 30 days he will be home for probably 10 days for you to enjoy.
If you would when you talk to him next, please thank him for his service.
]
I get that you would feel guilty, but I think that if he understands that you can't get those days off so you can see him, then you can't let it bother you. Everybody has a hard time getting certain days off. The most important thing is that even though you won't see him for Thanksgiving, you will see him on the most special holiday of the year.
I hope I helped. Good luck!
-Kaylie
]
More Questions: |