I am a 20 year old female enrolled in northern illinois university. I met my boyfriend here freshmen year and we have been dating for two years. He has been an athlete on the golf team here at school, but was cut from the team last week. He wants to golf professionally, so he is going to try to find another college to play golf at. His parents live in south carolina. He said he might go back there to go to school.
I feel like this could hurt our relationship greatly. I do not know what I should do. I thought about transferring schools to be closer to him, but there is so much to think about when doing that. What should I do? Please help.
Also, if he wants to be a pro golfer, he is going to spend at least half the year on the road. So do you want an absentee husband? That is what a lot of pro athletes are. Be practical about this now or you may be miserable later. [ VoiceofReason's advice column | Ask VoiceofReason A Question ]
AdviceMistress answered Wednesday November 2 2011, 3:30 pm: You need to let him go!
So just because he wants to go to another school you want to go with him? Absolutely not. Not a good idea what so ever. It is the worst idea to go to another school just because your boyfriend wants to. I realize a relationship is two people but you are your own person at the same time.
My ex and I went to college with one another and we graduated and were applying for schools. His suggestion was for me to go to school with him where he got accepted and I thought about it and I declined. I wasn't going to go to a school just because he wanted me too. The school didn't have any of the majors that I wanted and the only thing I would have is to hang out with him and I didn't want that. I isolated myself from a lot of friends and opportunites due to the fact that I wanted to spend time with him.
I understand you love him but you don't have to spend all your time with him. I find the relationship I'm in right now to be very healthy. We don't hang out all the time and we give each other space so we can do our own things. My boyfriend likes to have poker night with his guy friends and I like to go ahev a girls night with my friends. I love him and he lvoes me but at the end of the day we are our own people and need to have a little bit of a divide.
If you love him you have to let him do what he needs to do and support him! Talk to him about it and don't start worrying until it happens! [ AdviceMistress's advice column | Ask AdviceMistress A Question ]
JunieBazinet answered Tuesday November 1 2011, 11:54 pm: You are in a tough situation. I could only say that you should let it be like if your boyfriend is thinking of moving to South Carolina to go to a college to play golf then you do not need to go with him. I think that you should talk to your boyfriend about all the possibilities that he could have in Illinois or a college closer to Illinois. There should be some colleges that have golf as a sport. If that doesn't work out then support him all the way. Things happen for a reason. [ JunieBazinet's advice column | Ask JunieBazinet A Question ]
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