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Getting closer to him
21/f. so... i'm the first person who gives the advice "he/she is just not that into you..," but this guy is confusing. he isn't very easy to read. i had that mentality for a long time when guys just didn't really give me the response I was waiting for to show me that he liked me. but, one of my cousins taught me a lesson. he's been in love with this girl for a long time. but, he's extremely shy. he use to be even worst! now that he left town for medical school, he's a little bit more assertive. but, he's never even had his first kiss... and he's 25. i know that this is a little extreme and this guy is not like that. But, it made me realize that there are guys who are extremely shy and need a little bit of a push.
so... this guy and i are in a club together. he's very cute and not too tall, which is nice because i'm very petite. but, he does little things that hint at me that he likes me. like, he knows what i like to drink and brings it to me when we're somewhere. he always gives me a hug when he sees me. during sorority recruitment at the beginning of the semester, he kept asking me every day how it went and wanted to know if I was happy with the sororities I was seeing so far. the other night, he and i went to the movies, with other people from our club. it was a scary movie so we ended up holding hands and all of that. i could tell that he was so happy. he didn't even try to let go of my hand that quick when we were leaving the theatre. but, since there were other people there, it would have been a little awkward if we would have stayed holding hands. it was only like 3 other people and trust me, it would have been awkward. but he was walking next to me the whole time and before i left, he hugged me again.
thinking about it, he reminds me SO much of my cousn... just not to that extreme. i know he's dated before. but, it seems like when he likes someone, he needs like a push... a reassurance of some sort. like, he grabbed my hand after i grabbed his arm. he needs like a green light. i can understand that. i just don't know how to give it to him because i'm not a very assertive girl. i don't think that's what he needs either. he just needs a little bit of a push, like I said. But, I'm very traditional and I've always let guys make the first move and all of that. but, i know i'm dealing with a shyer one here, and that's ok :)
Suggestions?
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Well one of you has to step up to the plate and say something otherwise nothing will happen. I know you like when guys make the first move but maybe this is your opportunity to step out of your shell and lift the weight off him. If you are waiting on him and he needs a push you are going to be waiting a long time. Do you both have a mutual friend? Maybe have a friend talk to him or maybe even talk to one of his friends about it.
Before my boyfriend and I started dating, we both had feelings for one another. I was scared and so was he and we didn't say anything to one another. We would hang out and flirt but nothing was ever said. It wasn't until one of my friends ended up telling the both of us that clearly we had something going on. It finally made him break out of his shell and he just asked me out.
Maybe get someone that can help with the situation. Good luck!
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Yes, you have the whole idea or perspective on the guy needing a little push. I guess guys who really like someone are shy because they are scared of getting rejected or had bad experiences before. Maybe you need to boost his confidence a little like make him feel more comfortable by doing things that would interest him. Let's say the guy likes to go bowling, then go to a bowling alley and have fun. Every guy is complex and has a way of being himself, but that is what makes him different from everyone else.
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