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is it okay that i only have like one or two close friends? i have like one best friend and then like two good friends and people i just talk too. i feel like everyone always has more close friends than me though. i mean i talk to people but not like to the point where we'd hang out together a lot. i don't know sometimes i feel like somethings missing or wrong with it? i don't know any advice would be mucho appreciated
14.f.freshman
Yes, it's definitely okay. In fact, I think it's pretty normal. I think most people have only one or two really close friends -- the kind that you can talk to about anything and can always rely on. Even those people who SEEM to have tons of good friends... they may have a lot of people they like to hang out with, but they probably aren't super close to all of them. Just like you, they probably have one or two who they can really call true, close friends. So don't worry about how many people you have to hang out with... if you have even one really close friend who's always there for you, you're lucky!
Ok so my grade had a school tryout all this week for basketball. At the end, I made the team but my best friend didn't make it. He did good and obviously should have made it. He is very upset and I don't know how to cheer him up. It was clearly a BS decision by the coach and everybody knows it. Please help.
Well, that really stinks. And I know how you feel. I made cheerleading and my best friend didn't, even though she was really good and everyone expected her to make it. And I felt awful about it!
I think the only thing you can do is just tell him you're really sorry he didn't make it; make a few comments about the coach being blind or whatever; and then don't bring it up anymore. If you talk about it TOO much, it will just make your friend feel bad all over again. Also, if you get together with your teammates to hang out or whatever, be sure to invite your friend; that will keep him from feeling totally left out.
i am sick of hearing the word gay being tossed around so carelessly. "that song is so gay!" how does that make ANY sense? does that song like other songs of the same gender? am i missing something here..?
i want people to know that i am gay and i find it very offensive to hear people use gay instead of stupid. i am gay. does that make me stupid?
if you are jewish and someone said "that movie is so jewish", you would get offended because jewish does not mean stupid. this is the same exact scenario: a minority being discriminated.
so why do people do this, and how do i get them to stop? =(
The word "gay" has different meanings. As you know, it can mean "happy, lively." Or it can mean "homosexual." And nowadays, it's also used to mean "corny, silly, stupid." I think that most people who use it in that way (and it's usually kids) aren't even thinking about it having anything to do with a gay person.
My boyfriend (age 23, I'm 21) of 4.5 years just got back from a business trip in Chicago & told me while he was out at a bar he did a bodyshot off a bartender. I was pretty upset, but he was confused why. He kept saying "it was at a bar! what's wrong with it!?". But I disagree? Anyways, just wondering what other people's opinion is, if he's right and I'm overreacting, or if its a no-no and I am justified. Thanks!
Well, from a logical standpoint, I kinda agree with the guy below me: If there's no threat to the relationship, then there's nothing to be jealous about. It's not like your boyfriend is gonna pack up and leave you for some bartender in Chicago. And the fact that he told you about it shows that, in his mind, it was completely innocent.
But on the other hand... I know I'd be a little ticked off if my boyfriend did that. I don't think it'd be worth making a huge deal about it, but I'd still want him to know that I didn't like it.
What I'd probably say is, "How would you feel if I went to a bar without you and let some drunk stranger do a bodyshot off me?" I happen to know my boyfriend wouldn't be too pleased with the idea... so making him feel what I was feeling might be enough to get the point across.
Like alot of people at my school are saying that I am annoying and that is so not true and I am really upset. So how can I stop being annoying like really or how am I annoying.
Ok, well a lot of people will say, "Don't listen to them; just keep being yourself and don't change for anyone else; people should like you for who you are, and you shouldn't care what other people think."
Well, I have to disagree. It DOES matter what other people think. No one likes to have people think badly of them. And if there's something you're doing that makes people think badly of you, then there's nothing wrong with changing it!
Yes, it's true that you shouldn't change your basic beliefs or values for someone else; and you shouldn't try to be someone you're not, just to make someone like you. But saying that you should never change ANYTHING is ridiculous. Nobody is perfect; we all have faults. But if we never made an attempt improve ourselves and become better people, we'd just keep making the same unhappy mistakes over and over.
When we correct our mistakes and improve ourselves, it not only makes us more likable, but it usually makes us happier as well!
That said... if you honestly don't know what you're doing that annoys people, maybe you should ask someone. Or think about some people that YOU find annoying; pinpoint what it is that annoys you, and then ask yourself if you do the same thing.
In case it helps, here are some things that a lot of people think are annoying:
People who are really loud/obnoxious
People who act like they know everything or who always have to give their opinion
People who brag or talk about themselves a lot
People who are nosy, ask a lot of personal questions, or always need to know everyone's business
People who try TOO hard make people like them
Think carefully; do you do any of those things?
Once you figure out what people find annoying about you, take some steps to change it. Ask for help from someone if you need it. But try not to feel bad about it. Remember, everyone has faults! The good thing is, we can change them!
13/f
I LOVE being with my friends. I just love to be comfortable and included and feel like I'm important. I just really stress over mistakes that I make around them. Like today I accidentally hit my friend in the jaw with a medicine ball, and I apologized and everything, but I feel really awful that she won't want to be with me or anything anymore. I don't know why. I just feel this awful pit in my stomach. I know that friend I hit gets really serious with talking trash about people she doesn't like, and every time I see her my stomach flips. I also feel like when I'm around some of my friends sometimes I feel this sense of annoyance, like they don't like me or don't want to talk to me, but they don't express it in actions or words. I just feel afraid that if I do something wrong to make someone hate me, I'm going to lose everything. I tried so hard to make friends when I was younger, and now that I have them, I want to hold as tight as I can, but I know I need to be looser, funner and more free-spirited about things. I just care too much. I love my friends, and they love me, but I fear that they just will leave me when I keep telling myself that friends wouldn't do that, and I have no reason to be afraid of my friends. I just am afraid of saying the wrong thing, taking things too seriously, not respecting people's preferances that I am unaware of, things like that. Any help?
Well, if you sense that your friends are annoyed with you sometimes, it might be true. And it could be because you're trying TOO hard to be liked. For example, when you apologized to the girl for hitting her, did you say it once or twice and then move on? Or did you go on and on and on about how sorry you were? If you seemed overly concerned that she was gonna be mad about it, then yes... that could be a little annoying.
Don't get me wrong... It's great to be a nice person! But when you go overboard with the niceness, beyond what's normal, people can see through it. Instead of seeing a nice person, they see someone who's insecure, lacks confidence, and is desperately afraid that people won't like them. It's like saying, without words, "Please like me! Please be my friend! Please don't leave me!" It makes you seem needy and desperate... and that actually pushes people away, rather than drawing them towards you.
If people get the impression that YOU don't feel worthy of their friendship, then subconciously they think, "Hmmm... if SHE doesn't feel likable, then maybe she's right, maybe she's not very likable after all."
It's like you said... people are drawn to people who are fun and free-spirited. In other words, confident and secure. They can sense when someone likes herself, and that makes them like her, too!
Back to the medicine ball example. If you said, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" and then sort of laugh about it and move on... that's the same as saying, "I know you like me and you'll forgive me, because I'm worth having as a friend." But if you went on and on and seemed super worried about it, the underlying message is, "I don't think you like me enough to forgive me because I'm not good enough to keep as a friend."
See what I mean?
But don't worry. Even if you AREN'T really confident, you can fake it! Watch some of the people you like and admire, and take some mental notes on how they act with their friends in different situations. It will give you some ideas about what traits make people enjoyable to be around.
But most importantly... have some faith in yourself! You ARE a nice person, and people WILL like you for who you are. So try to relax and enjoy your friends.
If you blowdry your hair, while straightening it, going under so it's curly..well, will it stay like that? Does the heat make iy stay curly all day?
A lot depends on your type of hair. For me, no matter how tight I curl my hair, it's straight again in about 10 minutes. But some people can hold a curl all day. You just have to try it and see how it works.
what does prude mean?
A prude is someone who is overly concerned with being proper or modest. It's usually used to describe someone who won't do anything sexual (which could include kissing or more), but it can also describe someone who doesn't like dirty jokes, bad language, drinking, smoking, or anthing "bad."
My dogs are small and I'm worried about the cold weather. Are they okay out there? I mean I went outside around 3am and it was freezing! I already have dog houses with their own heating pads, should that be enough? They aren't allowed inside at night.
If it's too cold for you, then it's probably too cold for your dogs. A lot of people think that dogs are the same as wolves or other wild animals who can survive extreme temperatures. But that's not true! Dogs have been domesticated for thousands of years, and most of the traits that would allow them to survive in the wild have been bred out of them. This is especially true of small dogs who have been bred to be house pets. They just aren't equipped to withstand cold weather. They don't have the thick layers of fat and underfur that keep wild animals warm.
If they aren't allowed in the house, see if you can at least let them stay in the garage when it's cold. Or maybe in the laundry room or bathroom.
20 f
hey i am writing a 70 page book to my boyfriend. im writing letters to him in it and small stories but im trying to think of maybe little games or something extra to put in anyone got any ideas? sorry if this is kind of vague
How 'bout some word finds or crossword puzzles, using words that are special to you (nicknames, places you've gone on dates, things you like to do together, etc.)
I have to find out when, from where, where to, and why my ancestors came to America. Are there any good websites where I can look up even one of these things if I know some of the last names? thanks so much
I can help you -- send me a message and I can tell you exactly how to do this. There's just too much to write right here!
ok a friend of mine is an extremely bad singer and i dont know how to tell her! She thinks she is awesome and wants everyone to hear her (which isnt a bad thing, but...) She like brags about it and shes bad! Hints??
I'm gonna have to disagree with the people below me. If you really value this friendship, I think it's best not to say anything. Telling her that she no good -- even if you say it nicely and with the best intentions -- will only make her resent you for destroying her dreams. And if she truly believes that she's really good, she might not even believe you. She might think you're jealous or just being mean.
I say let her figure this out on her own. And if she's really that bad, she'll realize it eventually. She won't get chosen to sing solos in choir; she won't get a part in the school musical... and sooner or later she'll realize that singing isn't her thing. It's much better to let her find this out on her own, rather than risk your friendship by saying something that will hurt her.
In the meantime, you don't have to lie and agree with her that she's a great singer. You can just say things like, "I know you really enjoy singing." Or suggest that she take some voice lessons so she can get "even better."
whenever i wear a headband, my head behind my ears hurts where i cant stand it. at first its ok but after about an hour of wearing it i have to take it off because it hurts so bad. but i really like how they look, and a lot of people wear them. so, is there any kind of trick to wear a headband without it hurting so much?
Yeah, that happens to me too. You could try stretching it out some so it's not so tight behind your ears. Or you could try putting some little pads on it (the kind you stick on the bottom of chair legs so they don't scratch the floor).
I was outside cleaning the writing off of my car windows and I had my car door opened so I didn't have to keep bending down to pick up the cleaner since I messed my knee and ankle up running. Well I live in an apartment, and there were plenty of parking spaces close to my building, but I was parked down ways a bit in open parking (instead of in covered parking like I usually do) so I didn't get in anyone's way if they wanted to park close. So, my bitch neighbor decides she isn't going to park in convered parking, instead she pulls up in the parking spot next to my car. I was standing on the opposite side of my car and she WAITS FOR ME to walk around my car to close my door so she could get out of hers, EVEN THOUGH she saw that I had a knee brace and ankle brace on and that I was limping around. She had PLENTY of room to get out of her damn car. Then, she glared at me and rolled her eyes when I shut my door. The only reason she did it was because I turned her in for parking in MY covered parking space which I pay extra for.
Was that rude or am I overreacting?
Yeah, she was just trying to irritate you. And it worked! Just try not to let her bother you. She was wrong in the first place (for parking in your space) and she knows it.
So my mother's 50th birthday is coming up and i have no idea what to get her. I really want it to be something meaningful, and I'm bored with just giving her jewelry and flowers.. What a really good gift idea?
Well, for my mom's 50th b-day we had a surprise party for her and invited a bunch of her old friends and relatives who she hadn't seen in a long time. We also made several giant posters filled with pictures of her from throughout her life (baby pics through to present) which was a big hit, everyone loved looking at them.
As a gift, I gave her a framed picture with 5 generations of mother/daughter pics... it has a picture of my mom's grandmother, my mom's mom, my mom, me, and my daughter. My mom LOVES it! Here's a picture of it (sorry, it's kinda blurry):
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k200/ejarguelles/motherdaughterpics.jpg
Lastnight, I had a dream about my boyfriend KISSING A GIRL.
a girl who I think he's been with before, but I'm not sure, i use to know her real well, and have hung with her before, but I don't speak to her anymore.
Anyway, why did I have this dream? It was so weird? I was crying in my dream, and this guy said "why are you crying, are you okay?" I went to school with him, and I've only talked to him a few times, on Myspace.
That was the weirdest dream ever, I was SO sad when I woke up..and now I just..I feel like crying right now.
Is this normal? Does everyone have weird dreams like this?
Yeah, it's normal. We dream about things that we think about... even if we don't realize we've been thinking about them. Somewhere in your mind you must be worried about your boyfriend liking this girl, so your thoughts come out in your dreams. I think it's your brain's way of dealing with thoughts that you haven't dealt with conciously. But just remember... it was just a dream! Just because you think about something or dream about something doesn't mean it's true.
Im dating this boy whom I really like a lot.
But he is always really mean to me, and we fight all the time. He is always trying to make me have phone sex with him and he considers it "making up" he tells me all the time "lets fight so we can make up" and when I say no, he gets mad and starts saying I dont care about him and im selfish and I dont care about nobody but myself. He always has a way to turn things around and make me look like the bad person and feel really bad for something.
he calls me fat all the time and I only weigh 105 lbs and im 5'5. He calls me ugly all the time and then he says he is just playing. But sometimes he can be the sweetest guy in the world.
He is 16 and a preacher, so maybe he takes out his stress on me, or maybe its because he is black and im white?
Today him and I got into a fight and he told me
"If you were hangin off a cliff with lions and snakes under you, I wouldn't pull you up I would stomp you down"
I dont know what to do anymore.
Well, here's the deal. Your boyfriend is very insecure. For some reason, he doesn't feel very good about himself, and somewhere in his mind he thinks that he's not good enough for you. And his biggest fear is that you're going to one day realize that and think, "What am I doing with this guy? I could get someone better!".
Basically, he's afraid of losing you. He's afraid of you leaving him because you think you're better than him, or deserve someone better.
So what does he do? He does whatever he can to make sure you never feel superior to him. He tries to convince you that you're fat, ugly, selfish, etc., so you'll think that no other guy would ever want you. He wants you to think that you're lucky to have him... that he's the only guy who would ever love someone as horrible as you are. That's his way of making sure you never leave him.
Unfortunately, what he's doing is having the opposite effect! He's actually making his worst fear come true... he's driving you away. And it's kind of sad, because when you DO leave, he'll be convinced it's because of whatever it is he doesn't like about himself. When in reality, it's because of the way he's treating you.
But sad as it is, you really should put this guy behind you and move on. Because things will only get worse, not better. Guys like this don't usually change... and the verbal and mental abuse often becomes physical as time goes on.
As hard as it might be, do yourself a favor and put this guy behind you. Find someone who is confident and secure enough to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
I work in a restaurant that is a mixture between fast food and sit down. You place your order at a register and we bring the food to your table when you're ready. It is a kid-friendly enviornment, we even have a kids eat free night. Does this warrant parents to allow their children to misbehave, make a mess on purpose, run around screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs, etc? There are some kids who will sit in their seats throwing food on the floor and the parents, rather than disciplining, will laugh at their children and make comments such as "Oh Johnny, how adorable", etc. It's ridiculous.
My job is to take orders, make food, and keep the dining room clean. Yes, I know it's inevitable for people to make messes, but it's ridiculous for parents to condone it, and LAUGH while it's being done.
Are there any polite things I can say to these people or is it one of those grin and bear it, vent to co-workers when they're gone types of situations? It's just really bugs me to have more food on the floor than what they ate (no exaggeration either).
If you're a parent who has allowed this, why? Why do you feel it's okay? I understand that it's my job, but there are so many other "behind-the-scene" things I do, that being forced to clean up a mess that could have been easily prevented by a parent saying "susie, please don't throw that on the floor". If you're a parent who will discipline their child rather than play along - Thanks!
I also don't mind when a child accidentally spills something - kids will be kids. I'm not here to complain (although I apologize because it probably sounds as if I am). I just want to know if there's anything I can do and WHY parents allow this misbehavior?
I totally agree with you. Parents these days let their children behave like complete monsters. Not all parents... there are some who teach their kids manners and insist that they behave well... but there seems to be fewer and fewer parents like that anymore.
The problem is (and you hit the nail on the head), they think their kids are adorable... and they think everyone else thinks so, too. And it's no wonder that they think that! Because nobody has the guts to come out and say "Your kid is acting like a brat!" or "Why don't you teach your kid some manners?" People just smile or say, "Aww, how cute" when really they're thinking, "Uggh.. what terrible parents!"
Back in the old days, people DID say things like that. And the parents would think, "Whoa, how embarrassing... I better not let my kids act like that because it's humiliating to have people think badly of us." But these days, most people wouldn't dream of saying that to someone, because we're all so afraid of offending people, or criticizing their parenting skills, or coming across as judgemental. As a society, we've been so conditioned to "accept" and "tolerate" everyone, that we let even the worst behaviors slip by without saying a word. So most people don't even realize that what they (or their kids) are doing is bad.
Yes, it's a great thing to be tolerant of people's different beliefs or practices... but when we tolerate plain out bad manners and discoureous behavior, we're just making our society unpleasant for everyone.
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with politely saying, "Excuse me, your son threw some food on the floor, would you mind picking it up?" Or "I'm trying to watch the movie, could you please ask your children to keep it down?" If more people would have the guts to say stuff like that, it would make parents realize that their kids' bad behavior isn't so cute after all.
Unfortunately, your manager is right... as an employee, you shouldn't say anything negative to a customer. Sadly, you do have to grin and bear it when you're at work. But everywhere else... go ahead and say something!! If people start to realize that their kids' behavior is irritating to others, they might start to teach their kids some manners!!
where (online) can i buy a loft bed with a futon/couch underneath? prefereably white or wood. if not a couch or futon, a lounge chair with a desk. ive looked on google, but i couldnt find any with a couch.
thanks!
Try ikea.com
They have tons of loft beds.
What does "You can't want your cake and eat it too" mean?
Or if thast the wrong way to say it, how do you say it?
The actual phrase is "You can't have your cake and eat it, too." This is a really old expression, from the 1500s. What it means is: if you eat your cake, you won't have it anymore. When people use this expression, they're usually referring to two things that you can't have at the same time (ie; you can't have a boyfriend and fool around with other guys at the same time).