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How to React to Boyfriend doing Bodyshot
My boyfriend (age 23, I'm 21) of 4.5 years just got back from a business trip in Chicago & told me while he was out at a bar he did a bodyshot off a bartender. I was pretty upset, but he was confused why. He kept saying "it was at a bar! what's wrong with it!?". But I disagree? Anyways, just wondering what other people's opinion is, if he's right and I'm overreacting, or if its a no-no and I am justified. Thanks!
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Whether it's right or not all depends on you and what you're comfortable with, not some societal standard.
It sounds like you need to set down some guidelines as to what is appropriate and inappropriate conduct. My fiancee came home from a bar one night, and told me about how he had kissed some chick. It was her bachelorette party, and she had to kiss a guy named Mark. His friends convinced him to lie and say that was his name, and they had a 'peck'. Much as I would have loved to strap a chastity belt on him right then and there, instead I told him that I didn't find it appropriate, and gave him a clear set of boundaries. (No touching below the eyebrows :P)
It's excusable now if he exceeded your comfort zone, because he didn't know what the boundaries were, but if he has a clear set of rules as to what you find acceptable, he's less likely to go astray.
In short, let this one slide. Make it so that in the future, he knows what you think is okay. That way he has no excuses for any future indiscretions.
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Well, from a logical standpoint, I kinda agree with the guy below me: If there's no threat to the relationship, then there's nothing to be jealous about. It's not like your boyfriend is gonna pack up and leave you for some bartender in Chicago. And the fact that he told you about it shows that, in his mind, it was completely innocent.
But on the other hand... I know I'd be a little ticked off if my boyfriend did that. I don't think it'd be worth making a huge deal about it, but I'd still want him to know that I didn't like it.
What I'd probably say is, "How would you feel if I went to a bar without you and let some drunk stranger do a bodyshot off me?" I happen to know my boyfriend wouldn't be too pleased with the idea... so making him feel what I was feeling might be enough to get the point across.
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Hmm.
I'm not a jealous person at all. My take on jealousy is that if there is an actual threat to the relationship, jealousy is justified. If there is no threat, then there is no justification for it, and I deal with any feelings of jealousy. Over time, thats gotten easier.
Ive watched my girlfriend(s) do things like this. They are innocent, I wouldnt consider something like this cheating in any way, shape, or form.
Look at your own reaction. Consider if theres some way you could be OK with this kind of thing. I mean, its not a regular thing, its not like he has a bartender at home that he takes body shots off of, he didnt do it because he was interested in the girl he did it because its fun to take a shot off of someone and most straight guys arent going to take a shot off another guy.
Thats my personal opinion.
Then again, if I were dating a bartender and a guy wanted to take a bodyshot off of her, I would crack up laughing and encourage it and probably tease her about it later. Thats just the kind of person I am.
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I know I would be upset. So, I can't say you are
overreacting. That being said, I also believe that he probably honestly doesn't think it was wrong.
He was just doing what everyone else was doing and
going along with the boys.
You need to talk calmly with him about what you think is appropriate behavior in public. Especially
if this type of business trip will be something he
will be doing very often.
Ask him if its ok for you to lay on a bar and let strange guys do bodyshots off of you. He better
say no! LOL.
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I'd probably be pretty upset myself if it was my boyfriend. I think you should talk to him about it & explain that it makes you uncomfortable. I don't think you are overreacting. Talk to him & see what he says. If he really has no problem with it, that is something you should discuss with him. I mean, he could think its just something innocent & didn't mean anything by it.
-hope that helped!♥
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