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hey you answered my question about me being in love with a guy
Your answer was really great! Thank you so much. Its like you took the words right out of my mouth because I was thinking the exact same thing. i want a guy to WANT me, to make an effort to be with me.. which is not what he's doing. it kinda seems like he's putting me on the sidelines and just waiting for something to happen.. which it won't unless he makes a move with me.
I guess the only reason why i'm still hanging onto him is because i still have a little hope that he can change his mind. But I agree with you that if he doesn't put in effort to be with me, then he's not worth my time. I'm having some difficulty moving on from him and finding a guy who wants to be with me.
do you have any other advice you could give me? (link)
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You know I was in the same situation for awhile and I wasn't happy. Sometimes its best to stop looking and then before you know it something will happen. For me anyways I found when I went out looking for a guy I never found what I was looking for. I stopped looking and I didn't bother with it for awhile. I met my boyfriend through my friend unexpectedly and we hit it off. Point blank do what makes you happy and know your worth.
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hey you answered my question about the guy i'm in love with
well i agree with what you said about me coming on too strong. I also agree with you that I should back off and give him space..
the thing is though, i have been giving him space for the past 2 months and it seems like nothing has changed. I am also scared that if I give him space, it will be too much space.. I don't want to end up losing him :( I don't want him to think i'm ignoring him or forgetting him, because that is definitely not the case. I also don't want to give him too much space because what if he finds another girl? He told me that his previous relationships were horrible and that his love life is a messy part of his life and he hates dealing with it.. so i guess that means he doesn't want a relationship at all?
is there any advice you can give me which will make me more calm and assured about this? I'm worried about giving him too much space and I don't know what to do because I can't stop thinking about him.
Thanks :) (link)
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It's a tough call to make because everyone is different. I find myself sometimes looking at "Signs a guy is in love with you" and thinking to myself does my boyfriend really love me. It's silly of me to look at that but I do I guess I sometimes need to assure myself. I think you really have only that on your mind and I understand I've been there and done that. I've calmed down over the years but I sometimes think about what can I do for my boyfriend.
I think the best thing for you is to do your own thing and be you. Don't worry so much about him and what he needs you know? If for 2 months he's been treating you the same way and you don't like it why stay? Why keep letting him act the way he does? Have you talked to him about it?
I know you don't want to walk away but maybe it's the best thing. He doesn't seem to know what he wants anyway so why give him the benefit of the doubt? You want someone who wants to be with you, who calls you to see how your day is doing, and to go above and beyond. I'm not saying there is anyway like prince charming out there but you want him to make an effort to come hang out. Now I'm not one of those girls with a huge list of what I expect from a guy. I am however the type of girl that expects a guy to prove and show that he cares about me through his own ways. If you need to talk you can message me here or even email me ohthatgirl1987@yahoo.com
Good luck and keep your head up! :)
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Me and my bf have been going out for a year now, I just discovered that I got mono... and I'm like wondering how I got it. Me and my bf kissss a lot, ,since wev first started dating,, and I got mono, I dnt share drinks with anyone else, what does this mean? Does it mean he was with anoter girl and got it frm her? Thanks for reading (link)
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You can't assume your boyfriend has been cheating because you have mono. He might have shared drninks with someone or he could be a carrier. I know they say mono is a 'kissing disease' but its not necessarily true. I wouldn't rush to conclusions and maybe you did share a drink with someone or something and you don't remember. I'm not siding with him but you running to a conclusion isn't going to help the conclusion maybe if you ahd a bit more evidence you could win your case. In the meantime relax and rest. I hope you feel better soon!
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am totally fedup and think i can't do nothing to change my destiny. My great ancestors where poor, my father poor that he even abundoned us. Moma poor and the whole clan. I have tried with all the money i had to make it but lost all my money. Moma always tells me i might be like my father yet i hate his ways, style and everything about him.I can't move any longer with this kind of life in Africa when there are people well off!! if i cant have it then my best punishment for failure must be death.am looking for the easiest way to die before january 10th. tried disone but failed to kill me. this year i wanted to join the US army front in either Iraq or Afagnistan in order to atleast die a fighter and easy but i was told they are moving out.what it the easiest and quickes way to die. (roymdking@yahoo.com) (link)
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Failure isn't something that should be looked at in a negative way. If anything failure should push you to get back up and try again. How is committing an act so tragic going to help you? The answer is it's not. As I have have said it before and I'll say it again suicide is never the answer. I have known people who feel there is no way out and they feel that the only way to get out is to die. That's not the answer and it's not the truth. You have the power to change yourself no one else does and you have the power to control your future. So what what you fell off your horse. Get back up and start again! Please stay positive! If you need to talk to someone I would be more than happy to talk to you ohthatgirl1987@yahoo.com
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how can I do to love a little less?? (link)
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Why do you want to love less? Why wouldn't you want to go into a relationship putting all your heart into it?
It sounds to me like you're scared and you don't want to get hurt which is what everyone tries to avoid. If you don't take a risk with love than you'll never experienc the full affect. It's not loving less its not making the other person more important than you. That person is not the world they are apart of your life but you shouldn't always think about them. Think about yourself and what you want. It's okay to cater someone once in a while but you have to remember that you had a life before he came around. You are going to go through heartbreak whether you like it or not my dear there's no way to avoid it. Don't think about the negative things be positive and have good thoughtrs. If you're always thinking bad or negative then those hegative thoughts will eventually happen and make you worry more. Live in the NOW and stay positive!
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My 17 year old boyfriend and I have been going out for about six months now. Since christmas is just around the corner I'm running out of time in deciding what to give him. He is a very sweet, handsome, and respectful. Not only that but he loves music and plays guitar, violin, and piano. Additionally he plays video games, and is really funny. I tried asking him what he wanted for christmas but he said he does not know. Im stumped, please can anyone help me out? I really wanna make this christams present very special, cute, and sweet. Just blurb out any ideas that come to mind. thank you for the help.
Female 16 (link)
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Do you share any inside jokes with one another? Anything that makes the both of you laugh? Maybe think of a video game he's been asking for or maybe a gift card to a music store. Even a picture of the two of you together I'm sure would be nice. It's not the present it's the thought that counts! Good luck and Happy Holidays!
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Me and my girlfriend K, We love doing stuff or having sex. But the only problem is that I am allergic to condoms! I break out with hives everytime we use one. Is there another way around this?! (link)
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Condoms are mainly made out of latex. However some condoms are non-latex. I would suggest trying non latex condoms and see if they work. If not maybe your girlfriend should go on birth control or talk to a doctor. Explore your options. Be safe!
www.itsyoursexlife.org
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19/f
i am seriously in love with this guy.. We've known each other since august and we go to the same school. we have so much in common and get along great :) we had a thing for a while, but I kinda scared him away when i told him i loved him. I know he likes me because of the things he says and his roommate tells me he talks about me (in the good way). We recently started talking more and more. I just need some advice on what to do... i'm so crazy about him haha i just want him! My main problems are these- 1) whenever we text or talk, its so vague.. Like we don't really know what to say. for example, I said when do you want your sweatshirt back? and he goes- whenever haha. and I said- lets hang out soon. and he goes- okay :). And thats it... its just so vague.. like I want to talk more and in depth. but it seems like whenever I talk about things in depth like what movie we should watch, he just kinda sounds so blah.. how do i get him to talk more with me and more deeply?
another problem makes me very angry is this- when we had a thing, he told me he wanted to kinda move a little faster. so i asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes. another time we were listening to music and he played the song "take over control" and asked me to take over control. we got intimate and he really liked it.. but i'm just so confused because i thought he wanted to move faster, but when i told him i loved him thats when he got spooked. its just so confusing to me because its like why would you want me to ask you out, and then change your mind?
I've tried talking to him about it but we hardly get to see each other anymore. and I don't want to talk about it over text because he gives me short answers and isn't really honest about his answer. I really just want to talk to him right now and ask him but I don't want to make the same mistake of spooking him away. What do you suggest I do? talk to him about it or lay low and just hang out for a while? I seriously can't stop thinking about him and i'm going nuts because of this issue. I just want to know if he sees a future for us.. (link)
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That's how guys are! This is the VERY beginning for you two for him to wear his heart on his sleeve and tell you everything is very uncommon for a guy. As you start dating you'll find out more about each and possibly start a friendship as well. The more you learn and the more you're with a person the more open you become. The reason he is so vague in his answer I'm sure is because he doesn't care what he's doing as long as its with you. My boyfriend and I went to see N"New YearsEve" this weekend and I know for a fatc he didn't want to see the movie. He went with me because he wants to spend time with me no matter what it maybe.
I think you're moving a bit too fast and maybe that's not what he meant by moving fast. Sometimes when we are in the moment we just want everything done quick. Some people forget that courting can take a few years or maybe even a lifetime. There's no need to rush or hurry love because you don't get to experienc what it brings to the table. Don't come on so strong maybe back off a bit and give him some space.
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21 female. Boyfriend 19
Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 and a half months. We've known each other for a long time though. Well after about 2 months of officially being together he told me he loved me. He said he is in love with me and that it might be kind of soon but no girl has made him ever feel this way before. The thing is, I'm not in love with him yet. I told him for me it takes time and he understands that. I love him, but not in love with him yet to the point where i can say 'i love you' to him. It doesn't scare me off that he said it to me early because everyone is different. The thing is, I never know what to say to him when he says he loves me! Because I'm not ready to say it back. And I know he is being 100% genuine about it. (link)
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You could say something along the lines of "you're amazing" or you could kiss him on the cheek. Or maybe you could say "I like you" if you both are on different pages then maybe you need to decide whether you truly want to be with him or not. If he's in love with you and you're not with him that can create a problem.
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so I dated this girl for a month.(im a chick as well). We broke up but now are maybe getting back together. She said I was too clingy. We just started dating so we was hanging out a lot and I was staying. So how can I not be clingy this time around? (link)
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Well did you ask her in what way were you clingy? Maybe trying not calling her as much maybe give it a couple of days and let her contact you. Another thing is you don't always have to hang out with her maybe try to plan a date night with ehr and than hang out with your friends on other days. You had a life before you met her so try not to think too much. Believe me I know what it feels like to always have someone on your mind 24/7 but you need to think about other things as well. Good luck and Happy Holidays!
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Hi. I don't know how to start this off, so here goes:
I cut myself. Plain and simple. It's not obvious cuts, it's usually less than 2 inches in length and there is little to no bleeding. When I self-injure, it's usually to just break the skin. It goes away in a few days. I'm still worried though, but more confused if anything. I don't know why I'm doing this, or what even gave me the idea. I'm perfectly content with my life, it's not anything too depressing, just normal stuff. I also punch hard materials like brick or concrete to condition my hands, and I've been doing this for a long time for martial arts (the punching) and only recently started the cutting. Maybe it's because I like pain? Well, I don't like it.
Please help me find out why I'm self-injuring myself or help me cope and deal with this. (link)
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You need to talk to a professional!
Maybe you are going through something and you're not expressing your true feelings so instead of talking you are feeling the pain trhough hurting yourself. This sin't goign o help you and its not healthy. Talk to someoe at your school, or maybe in your family. Maybe find a local therapist in your area and speak to them. This si not something that someone can talk you out of its something that you must get professional help for. In the mean time when you feel the urge try and do something else. Maybe drawing, listening to music, or even calling a friend. Good luck!
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I have been a boy who was always loved by his family. I grew up with a desire that one day i will achieve the wildest of my dreams. I am heavily gifted with intuition. It has been my best buddy to tell me about the pros and cons.
I fell in deep love with a girl when i was 25, and it ended in a heartbreak for me. After that i forgot to be really happy or enjoy. My emotions are dead now, i dont feel anything for anyone, not even for my ownself.
I have had great success in my professional life and i have started to buy things which i dreamed of in my childhood. But these things don't even bring a smile on my face. I pretend to be happy and sad as well, but the truth is that i am so rigid now, that i don't feel a surge.
One girl loves me so much, but i dont feel any emotion for her. I tell her, that i love her, but it's false. I like her, but i am afraid i am unable to love anyone.
Society is nothing to me, i think that they are all there for their own benefits. I have some so called friends, but there is no one whom i can trust.
Sometimes i want to cry, but i am unable to do so. I am getting mad.
Denis (link)
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Dear Denis,
It sounds like you may have some type of dperession. Sometimes when we lose something that's so important to us we lose part of ourselves. That's what makes it hard to open up and care for anyone else. Boy if I could tell you the many times I've been hurt you'd be shocked. Of course after the fall I get back on my horse and I start back up again. Love is a great thing but it cuts you like a knife. After heartbreak you tend to see things differently and think differently. Things don't matter as much anymore. I've given my heart to any guy that pretty wanted it and in the end it felt like it got stomped on. I didn't believe I was worth anyone's time and I would close up. I sometimes still close up to this day. Each and everyday I try to be positive and as hard as it is it helps. I know that the hurt was there but its not going to take over my life because you only live once.
Maybe for right now the single life is the best thing for you and maybe its going to help you figure out what you need. You're young maybe travel or have new experiences or meet new people. the world is a mini mall of opportunities that is open to you. The sky is the limit.
As for the girl you're with now I think it's best to be honest with her if you don't feel that this is a relationship that could be considered serious. Or maybe you are serious but afraid of giving her your all because you're afraid she might hurt you. There is no way of running from hurt its going to happen. It's how you dust yourself off and try again. Good luck and think positive!
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21 female. Nick 19. This may be kind of long but I will really appreciate any help! :)
Me and Nick have been together for about 4 months. He is the nicest guy I've ever been with I really couldn't ask for a better guy. We've known each other for a long time but just started dating months ago. He pays for me when we go to dinner or get anything to eat. I'll be like "Nooo!" And take out my wallet because I feel bad that he pays for me. But he won't take my money he makes me put my wallet away.
Well last weekend we were going on a double date with my brother and his wife. Nick called his mom for something and she asked what we were doing that night and Nick said going to dinner and his mom asked if he was paying for me and Nick was like well yeah. And she said well do you always pay for her? And he said yeah. And she was like does she ever pay for you? And he said no but she said that she was going to take me to dinner soon. Then she said ..well that's not right and she said it kind of in a mean tone. And she was on speaker phone so I heard everything. Nick was pretty quiet and his mom was like is she right there? And he said yeah, and I walked away. It was so uncomfortable and I was kind of offended.
That night when we were at dinner I took out my wallet again and he said no, put that away and I insisted I at least pay for the tip then and he wasn't even going to let me do that but I forced him to let me.
And just a couple nights before this happened we were talking and I even said I hate that you pay for me I feel bad! And he said no I want to pay for you babe and I said well I'm taking you out some time then! :)
It just bugs me that his mom would say that about me acting like I'm taking advantage of him or something saying "well that's not right, she should pay for you" I couldn't stop thinking about it all night and I was really quiet. Nick could tell something was wrong and he kept asking me if I was mad at him. Finally I said, I know your mom doesn't like me. And he said she likes you babe, you wanna know why she likes you? Because she sees how happy you make me. And I said well it didn't really sound like she liked me too much on the phone and he said well I don't think she said anything bad, what part didn't you like? Obviously he was sticking up for his mom and didn't think anything she said was offensive. I just let it go. But now whenever I see her next I am going to feel really uncomfortable around her. Would you be a little offended if you were me? I don't know what to do!
Plus, he told me way back that he wanted to pay for me & take care of me because I am doing school full time and can't work that much and he is working full time right now before he goes back to school so he knows I don't have a lot of money right now. But it's not like I say, you have to pay for me! No, I'm not like that at all. (link)
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I wouldn't worry about it too much!
Moms tend to be protective no matter what. When it comes to their child they want whats best for them and nothing less. When your boyfriend mentioned to his mom that you don't pay he does she probably assumed you didn't even offer which isn't true. It sounds like there was a miscommunication and that's okay.
I believe sometime he should let you pay. When I go on dates with my boyfriend we switch off, but sometimes he insists on getting the check.
The reason that the whole thing is bugging you is because it's his mom. You want his mom to like you. You are dating her child she is going to be protective it's a given. A lot of mothers are, my own mother is very protective. My boyfriend's mother and I get along fine, she is a great woman. We sit down and talk she is really an amazing mother. I respect her son, her son and I get into fights but she never gets involved what so ever. Some people are old fashioned and think that the guy should pay for the date but nowadays it can go either way.
I wouldn't worry about it too much and I would just try to sit down and have a conversation with her. You should try to get to know her and let her get to know you. She might be curious about you and about your relationship with her son. Don't worry about it and don't let it get you down.
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Ok sorry if this is a long question ahah~ I just need a second opinion or whatever.
F/15.
Ok I have a really hard time concentrating both at home and at school. Im like ill get distracted by little tiny things it's unbelievable. My most stupid one was a fly caught in a light and I decided it was a prisoner so I was being daft laughing at it. I sometimes zone out and when i zone back in ill be be like "woah the teacher has been talking" or it's like she/he is talking a totally different language than me. My only good grade is in English where I am on a B and predicted an A. That's because I know what I'm doing. All my other lessons im on D's and under. It's really bad. I've had phone calls home and my 'dad' is really p'eed at me for not getting the grades HE expects me to get. I try and try to tell him im sorry I cant concentrate I really do try but it's like theres a million tv channels going off in my head when I try if you get me? But he really doesnt listen. I can't revise because Ill either get distracted or just wont do it because it doesn't interest me. My 'dad' said it cant be anything to do with a condition or anything because ill happily sit on the laptop as soon as I get home if im not at my friends. But that's only because I like that if I get told to do something I dont want to do Ill try and put it off forever. I've been to the doctors and told them and they said tell your teachers (good doctors yeah?) I told my teachers they ignored me and just said im a typical teen. My friend thinks I should move doctors and go to hers then if they say the same thing leave it. I've got big exams coming up and I really need to get my head down and work but i just cant. When I'm out of school it's pretty much the same. Ill say something and keep continuing it on until my friend gives me the 'stop it' look. But i'm always so hyper and everyone says like Im always loud and I really dont realise it it's well weird. N like they'll say im always hyper. I try and be quite but it doesnt work. Ill also get bored really easily and people will get annoyed at me. Also I get told to stop moving around.
I think that's all I can put. Really sorry it's so long. Any advice or anything you think might be wrong with me will be really helpful :) (link)
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It sounds like you might have ADD. I have ADD and sometimes its VERY hard to concentrate. It feels like when someone is talking to me at times it feels as though there are some many distractions going on in the background. I start projects and sometimes don't finish them and that goes for books as well. You should go to the doctor and tell him your concerns he could be the only one to tell you whether it is or not. Good luck!
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17/f
I am a senior in high school and in march my boyfriend and I are going to get a place together. He is 23, makes 10.00 and hr. I make 8.00 an hr. The job I have (a local pizza place) well honestly sucks. The manager only make 9.00 an hour so I am pretty sure I don't have enough room to grow there. I do not want my boyfriend to be the one paying all the bills and we do not want to live paycheck-to-paycheck.I want to stay away from fast food jobs and jobs where I stand in one spot(I get dizzy) What can I do to provide an income for us? (link)
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Maybe try to find a job at school that way its nice to work right after classes. You could try to find a part time job in an office or maybe even work as a temp for a bit. Try looking for a job as an administrative assitant or maybe ask your school for some help in finding a job. Good luck!
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Okay... So recently my boyfriend told me he is bisexual. He isn't emotionally attracted to men... It's just physical. I'm still in shock but I support this. He loves me. Nothing will change that. And I love him. What can I do to help ease my mind about this? I don't want him to feel like he can't talk to me about this and I don't want to be the girlfriend that gets upset about it. There isn't anything I can do to change the way he has been most of his life. I just... I donno. Here is what I need advice about. One: Putting my mind at ease. Two: If this has happened to anyone... How long before you became comfortable with it? and Three: Do you think this is just a phase? Will it pass?
Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance for your help! (link)
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One: He's with you and you lvoe him and I'm sure he loves you. If he wanted to be with someone else then he would. It's not any different than if he were to go for another girl. Just be comfortable int eh relationship that you have with one another right now.
Two: This has happened to me before and to tell you the truth when I first heard about it I didn't know what to do. It took me some time to think about it but I realized that it didn't change who he was as a person. I still loved him and he still loved me.
Three: I don't know if I would call it a phase. Don't worry about it too much or it'll mkae you go crazy. Just continue to love him and that he's with you because he cares for you.
Good luck!
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Well im falling for this guy at work
but he say that he straight but i think he gay. Im gay and he wants to hang out all the time
we going to movies friday, he poke my side alot. We act like we dating HELP I NEED SOME ADVICE WHAT DO I DO (link)
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If he said he's not gay than you need to be respectful and understand that he doesn't think he's gay. If he is gay than he'll come out on his own time but you constantly asking him if he's gay or not is not helping the situation. He could just be a playful or friendly person and that's why he's poking you. I guess if you really want to know the deal than have a serious talk and ask him what exactly is going on. If he continues you to tell you he isn't gay than I would suggest telling him that he should stop giving you the impression that he wants to date. Good luck!
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Hi I am 12/F
My mom always gives my sister stuff. She got a present. And I didn't. I tried telling her but then she just yell at me. Pleas help. I can't go on any longer. From crying me (link)
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Dear Crying Me,
I looked at this question and it took me back to my years when my sister and I were so competitive. When I was younger I had a learning disability and I needed a lot of attention. I would have to go see doctors and I needed extra help in school. I got a bit more attention than my sister and I don't think she liked it very much. Sometimes when we have siblings they might need a bit mroe attention. It doesn't mean that your parents careless about you and it doesn't mean they don't love you.
So what if your sister got a present? It doesn't make her better and it doesn't mean she is loved more. Don't think about what you don't have think about what you have and be greatful!
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Well I'm 17, female. Im still a virgin. I had the opportunity to loose it about 2 years ago but I wasn't ready but I am now. Since I'm a virgin an I'm single I don't want to just find a guy I'm friends with and be like "hey, wanna take my virginity?" because that seems kind of slutty. I don't really know how to go about this so I'd just like opinions. (link)
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Maybe you have a close guys friend who you care about a lot or maybe you would rather be in a relationship first and then over time let it happen. There's no reason to rush I promise you it will happen when it's suppose to happen. Maybe you would rather close guy friend who you've known for awhile and someone who you trust.
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i have had a really bad love past. my first boy friend i dated 15 times, he cheated in me 3 of those times with more then one girl. My 2 boyfriend is just a sex feind he was exactly interested- i was the one that escaped his trap (didnt have sex with him) my 3rd broke up with me over some fake crap. and anyone else i've been interested in simply didn't want me or used my attraction for their own benefit.
i just started dating my newest boyfriend and he is thgee purest bf i've ever had....
he says he loves me but ive heard that so many times that i cant believe anything any guy says anymore.
is this normal??? (link)
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I hear the "L" word said so frequently by people that I'm starting to think its losing its meaning. I think nowadays people just say it to say it. I can understand why you wouldn't believe him due to the fact of your other past relationships. However, he isn't any of your other boyfriends. COmparing your past relationships to your current one isn't going to help the situation it's going to hurt your relationship. You cna still have your guard up but remember that he isn't a bad guy and even you said he's the "purest" out of all the boyfriends that you've had. Think positive and don't keep going back to the negative things such as your ex boyfriends.
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