Brandi_S's advice column | Page 130

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Kansas

Occupation:

House wife, Mother, Local Loon

Age:

35

Member Since:

July 15, 2006

Answers:

3333

Last Update:

March 11, 2013

Visitors:

125046

Favorite Columnists

hitler_the_goat

about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

my kodak digital camera is being weird. when i turn it on the screen says the kodak logo thing like normal, and then the screen turns black and it shuts off..but the batteries arent dead because ive changed them so many times to make sure that wasnt the problem. help?

I have one of those. Expensive camera... I would suggest taking it in and having it looked at. Before that though, check your manual for trouble shooting tips. It may be a simple problem. However if it isn't it is definitely worth getting repaired.

I have been researching different birth controls all day...and i still dont know which one to choose from ( i have a doctor appt. monday to talk about it too)

I have narrowed it down to Seasonal and Loestrin 24 cause i have really bad/long/heavy periods...
NuvaRing cause you dont take it as much and Ortho Tri-Cyclen cause it's sopposed to help with acne...

if anyone is on/was on any of these could you give me your opinion of them? Like does Ortho Tri-Cyclen really help with acne and such?
Thanks so much!

Honestly? Different people have different effects from birth control. For example, say it clears acne for Betty, but doesn't for Sue.

Realistically, you should bring up these questions to your doctor when you go. He/She can help you decide which one is best for your individual needs.

Also, don't be afraid to ask your pharmacist questions. They know more about the medicine you take than doctors do. That is their job.

i have a boyfriend but i know im in love with this other boy but he has a girlfriend but i know he loves me too because we talk all the time and have kissed

Gee. Glad I'm not his girlfriend or your boyfriend. If you like one another, you need to quit leading these other kids around by the nose. If you aren't going to go out with each other, then you need to quit pulling this crap behind their backs.

Every relationship needs trust and honesty. For you guys to be running around kissing each other while dating another, then neither of you are honest or trustworthy. It's called being unfaithful.

Sorry, but that is the cold hard facts about it.

My periods are still pretty irregular--most of the time it's at the beginning of a month but a lot of the time it comes later in the month

But anywhos what are some things that should tell me that I'm about to have my period? Because I sometimes get them at school when I'm not expecting it and hmm yeah, you get the point

Thanks =]

Here is a link to coolnurse.com regarding symptoms of Pre Menstral Syndrome. You might find something there that will give you that heads up you are seeking.

http://www.coolnurse.com/pms.htm

15/f. ive been friends with this boy, ian, for 2 years and recently we've started to take our relationship to the next level. last time i was at his house he fingered me and i gave him a hand job, the thing is, it really hurt. other than relaxing are there any ways to losen myself up a little bit. also i have a feeling i wasn't doing a very good job at getting him excited. any techniques or suggestions? im going over his house tonight so i just want to make things go a little better for the both of us. thanks!- savannah

Hmm... Maybe you need to grow up a little more? Then you may not have to ask us?

We are not here to give sex "How to's."

Ok, so yesterday I got my report card for the 2nd marking period. I knew that I didn't do well so I wasn't exactly looking foward to it coming home because my parents are really strict about grades. So I came home and I saw it on the counter. I looked in that direction for a second and thought I saw a C on it. I go in the other room and my dad was like that's bad. My brother then was like what are you talking about. My dad replied nothing. A few minutes later when everyone cleared the room, I decided to go look at it without anyone seeing me. This way I wouldn't get yelled at yet. I went and it was gone. I looked everywhere. I can't find it. It's like my parents are hiding MY grades from ME. I guess I must have done really bad. Should I ask my parents where it is and get yelled at? What do I do?

Hell yes, you need to ask for your report card. Demand it, if need be. They have no right to hide your grades from you. They are YOUR grades, and how do you know where you need to improve if you don't know what you got on your report card?

If you got bad grades and you know you are going to be punished, then at least you have that heads up. Sometimes we get are tails chewed because we messed up, but that is just something we all have to face.

Now, go get that report card, get the punishment over with, and try to improve what needs to be improved.

Lately my three brothers and I keep getting sick. And my parents to. Honestly it's kind of annoying me. Between my bros and I, we have either come home sick or have been sick from school on the last 9 school days. That's kinda sad. This weekend we were all getting sick, including my dad. My brothers are on round two of strep, and I got it about two weeks ago. I've had bronchitis that I can't seem to get rid of after 2 doctor visits in the last 2 weeks, including a chest x-ray. Is there anyway to avoid getting sick and get better sooner?

Avoid those around you who are sick. There is, what, 5 people in your household? When one gets sick, it makes it's rounds to everyone else. It especially sucks when one sickness is finally making it's way out the door and then another comes in on it's heels.

You don't have to just lock yourself in a room. Wash your hands FREQUENTLY. Especially before eating, drinking, or touching your face/mouth. Don't sit right next to some one who is sick. Sit across the room. That is about the best way I can tell you to avoid it.

As for getting better sooner, you have to just let it run it's course. If your bronchitis doesn't clear up, go back to the doctor. If need be, seek a second opinion from another doctor. There may be something your doctor is missing.

Alright...well lately, i think im depressed.

i make the biggest deals out of everything.
i feel like everyone hates me.
i dont think im pretty whatsoever.
i suck at school.
im fat

K well what I think is cuasing this is:
-My freinds leave me out 90% Of the time. (mainy becuase of bball which is ending soon. also, my two best friends always hang out..without me...) This makes me feel like total sh!+. they say stuff like, ur a loser..and lately, ive been taking it seriously...and ic ant help it.i dont feel like i fit in with anyone.

ok i relaly dont think im pretty whatsoever.

ive been getting bad grades in just abotu everything. or, what i think is bad grades; ,more like 70's & 80's. i know i can do better, but i dont feel motivated. i just want to sleep....

i think im fat. im 5'2 & am 125.....

i have a lot of famiyl problems... my mom is "depressed" too...my dad has epilepsy so hes home all the time....my grandfather passed away ( i was very close to him)....and my aunt is in a coma for the rest of her life (i was starting to get close to her too)....

so ... what do you think? am i depressed?
please help me...

Sounds like you have some issues for sure.
My advice? Talk to your mom about this. If she is depressed, too, then she will know how you feel and be able to relate with you.

It also may help for you to talk to a councilor. Sometimes talking about your problems to the right person makes a whole world of difference in how you feel and look at yourself.

kind of an awkward question, sorry, but. what do you girls find some of the most pleasurable positions are for you, and also, shaved or not when it comes to downstairs?

Please. No. If you are a guy, let me tell you this... Honestly? If a guy came to me and had his genitals shaved, I would likely laugh at him.

As for asking pleasurable positions? That's not so much of an awkward question as it is a bit too much of a personal one. No nice girl practices the art of kissing and telling.

EDIT: Hey, BOTH of my answers are honest ones. You don't like it? Then don't ask these sorts of questions. We are not here to give sex "how to's." Asking for what sexual positions girls like isn't asking advice, because as I said, any self respecting girl wouldn't divulge that information to you.

What age did you start wearing deodorent. just curiousity because my son is 10 and i never really have time to figure out if he needs it cause hes always at school then baseball and he comes home and runs right to the shower. Thanks in advance!

If he is participating in sports, I would go ahead and get him some deodorant. Since he comes home and hits the shower, he's sweating it up out there. 10 isn't too young for wearing deodorant.

alrigh can someone please answer before valentines day is over??

i need to send my crush an email (not expressing my feelings for him) just wishing him happy cday in a cute (or funny) way, what should i say?

my friends told me he's afraid of emotions and he pushes people away as soon as they show that they care, so i dont wanna be like "happy vday, im thinking about you!" or anything.. id rather make it really funny and FRIENDLY so it cant be interpreted than anything but a FRIENDHSIP note (event though i like him as more than a friend!)

haha, get it? can you elp? thxx!

How about "Happy Valentine's Day! I hope Cupid's arrow found your butt!"

i don't understand the george bush thing and i dont want to ask google. real people give better, straightfoward answers

ok so

- he was running against al gore
- he is a republican whose father was pres before him, george bush senior

why did he win? did he get more electoral votes? i though al gore got more popular votes?

what is your personal opinion of him?

Electoral votes and popular votes are two different things. Let me try to explain:

I live in Kansas, which 99.9998% of the time votes Republican based on electoral votes. Now, say that 49% of Kansas residents vote Democrat and 51% of the state votes Republican. It is the 51% of voters who get the electoral vote, making Kansas's vote for the Republican candidate.

Now, say Al Gore had the popular vote. Since he lost, that means that Bush got electoral vote from each state's individual majority percentage, but Al Gore got a higher percent of votes from each individual state's minority percentage when added together with the other 49 states.

In short, when all of the votes for the entire country are added together, Gore received more votes than Bush. Bush won because they don't add the votes of the country together as a whole, they do it by the state. Bush got the most votes in Kansas, so the state of Kansas voted for George Bush. Electoral vote.

I know, it's confusing. It confuses me too. I don't like electoral votes, I believe in "majority rules" but our government doesn't like it that way for some odd reason.

My opinion of George Bush? Well, anything nice I thought of him went out the window when he lied to us about why he was going to Iraq. Weapons of mass destruction (which were never found) was only an excuse for him to continue the war his father started with Iraq. I firmly believe it has something to do with oil. I know it has nothing to do with the attack on our soil on 9/11.

I think he talks to the people of this great nation as though we are all complete idiots. I think the fact that he lied about his reasons for going to war should have been grounds for impeachment. I will be so glad to say goodbye to that man when his term comes to an end.

Okay... I have this friend that I've liked for a really long time. I'm so close to just saying "I like you more than just a friend" but I can't seem to find a time to just say it. I have to find a way for her to bring it up, or else I won't say it. I know, it's bad, but I can't do it. If she would somehow bring it up if I like her or not, then I would say I do like her... Any ideas??

I just have to say, from personal experience, the quickest way to lose a friend is to date them.

Be wise in your decision about going out with your friend. If it doesn't work out, your friendship will never be the same, if it even continues.

I've liked this guy for awhile. neither of us have gone out with anyone before. i was convinced to ask him out, and being the idiot he was he didn't answer, just invited me, my friend and his friend to a chat acting as if the whole thing was a joke. so as i continued to ask if could answer the question my friend was fighting with me saying melissa take a hint the answer is no, get over him, blahblah. the fact is he didn't answer, i don't know what his answer is idk if he's telling me. but even after my friend stopped fighting with me i feel so pressured to get over him. but i don't want to, i don't care if theres no point, it's my life. and he called me yesterday and i answered and he didn't even say anything which makes it even more confusing. i have a right to still like him, it's my feelings, idc about other guys, it's not like i need a bf desperately at this age anyway. but i feel so pressured to get over him and i hate it. i have a right to still like him if I want right?

You have the right to feel any way you so choose. Why should you feel pressured to get over him? That is something only you can choose to do for yourself.

My opinion? The guy made a joke out if it in front of your friends. That was a pretty crappy thing for him to do. He made a joke out of YOU. When your friend said "take a hint the answer is no" he didn't say a damn word. So, honestly, I don't think the guy is very interested.

Like him all you want. Get over him whenever you want. But don't let the guy make a joke out of you again. That says to me he is really a jerk and isn't worth your time anyhow.

ok well i have a friend thats anorexic and she hasnt had her period in a while. But now she's eating again will she get it back ?? also i told her that if she eats her boobs will get bigger (hers r really small) is this true i need an anwser to the period question please !!

First and foremost, she should go have a check up with her doctor to make sure she doesn't have any health issues.

Anorexics tend to have problems with their hearts- something she needs to have checked. This is because, when you starve your body, it lives off of your body fat. When body fat is gone, it feeds off of your muscles in a desperate attempt to survive. Your heart is a muscle. Anorexia and bulimia can lead to heart failure. Scary, I know, but true. More the reason for her to visit her doctor and to eat a healthy balanced diet.

I would venture to say that her boobs will grow bigger once her body starts packing meat back on. Fat and muscle, in other words.

Her period has likely stopped because of lack of nutrients in her body. It may well come back once she starts to replenish these nutrients by eating that healthy balanced diet EVERY DAY.

I will say it again, she needs to have a check up with her doctor to make sure that her body isn't damaged internally.

I hope she realizes how good of a friend she has in you.

okay i saw this movie awhile ago at a friend's house and i cannot think of what its called. im pretty sure johnny depp is in it.and i remember there were these really big alien worm things and i remember to parts. one was they were out on snowmobiles and one guy was taking a piss and the alien thing came out of the ground and bit his dick off and the other was one guy was on the toilet taking a shit and the alien came up through the toilet and killed him. what movie is thiss?

The movie is called Dreamcatcher, but no, Johnny Depp isn't in it.

Hey, just wait... you will get this same exact answer from 156,000 more columnists!

I like a guy he is a blonde surfer type of guy. most of my freinds who are black all tell me that surfer guys only like whit girls with blonde hair and as i am colored they said he would never in a million years go out with me. Are they telling the truth?

Well, look at it this way: To say that all surfer guys only like white chicks with blonde hair is the same globalization as saying all black girls like black guys with droopy drawers and corn rows. So, no, they aren't telling the truth, because this isn't the case. It is called "stereotyping."

Yah, for some, that is their cup of tea, but not for everyone. Every person has their own individual tastes, no matter what their race may be.

Don't let your friends' labels dictate your feelings. If you like him and he likes you, skin color shouldn't be an issue. If you are interested in this guy, go for it.

Don't hold yourself back from the things you want in this life because of fear that you will be judged by the color of your skin. If anyone passes such judgement on you, then they aren't worth your time and effort anyway.

well im currently looking for another job but cant seem to get anywhere. ive turned in about 4 applications at places but no one calls back. the only reason i got my last job was because they pretty much just hired everyone who applied for the grand opening, but then cut the team down by half [which is why im now unemployed even though i only got to work 3 days]. when i turn in applications i smile, im friendly, and im polite but i need something thatll set me off from other people i guess becuase on friday i put an application in with the manager at this bbq place that i REALLY want to work at but they havent called soo im plannin on callin them sometime this week to ask if it was looked over. but how can i show myself as a nice, good worker so ill get hired? not just for this job but others as well. thanks

You sound as though you are doing everything right about how you present yourself when meeting them.

My advice? Show them how bad you want to work for them. Call in the next day after turning in your application. Ask them if they have had time to review your application. If they say, sorry, haven't yet, say ok, thank you. Then call back the next day and ask the same.

They want to hire somebody that wants the job. Prove that somebody is you by expressing your interest in it.

Well I have unique friends and we're totally different which is why I like them because if someone is interested in the same things I do then I feel like there's a competition to like what ever it is more and I start to hate them just for liking it. I don't know why, it's just hard for me to open up to people because i've had a really hard life. Now it's down to three friends but resently I found out that they like this thing that I really like and now I'm like having a hating feeling towards them and I know it's not right but I can't stop it..

Hey, I pride myself on being a unique individual and daring to be different from the crowd, but I don't allow it to dictate my friendships.

You have to come to terms with the fact that you are ALWAYS going to have things in common with others, as well as common interests.

If you don't get over this issue, you will end up with no friends. You don't want to live that way.

okay so i used to get with this kid then we stopped and now i still like him and we get with eachother sometimes normally when i drink or am drunk , its not like hes takin advantage of me its just that i want to know if theres anything i can do to get with him when im not drunk?

In my opinion, any guy who is willing to "get with" a drunk girl is taking advantage of some one who isn't in their right frame of mind. Not saying that it isn't something that you want, but I am saying he isn't very respectable.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>