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My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.

Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.



Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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I'm really interested in finding out...what's a rule that you've set for yourself that you plan to abide your whole life long? Just list any form of wisdom you could pass on. I love being inspired. Thank you! (link)
My motto in life is "Do unto others as you would have done unto you".

The reason behind this is because I treat everyone in my life the way I would want to be treated. If you go round bad-mouthing people then you are going to get it back. I firmly believe that what goes around, comes around. You do a good deed for someone - stranger or friend - and one day someone will do a good deed for you out of the kindness of their heart. :)


Ok so i have this boyfriend and we get into aguements alot. He tells me that im stupid and retarted. sometimes he even calles me a stupid bitch, dumb ass bitch, or jus plain bitch. he says that im tha problem and that im always getting him mad. Im only 15 and my friends and familly say leave him but some say dnt if ur happy. Im tired of heareing that hole "theres more fish in tha sea" cuz thers really not im in love with him not anyone else. I dont know wat to do anymore im in love with him and want to spend tha rest of my life with him but not like this..
Please someone help me wat do i do????

-shawttii (link)
It is only a small step until he starts beating on you. For the moment words are all that he needs to keep you in line. Once the effect of those wear off, he will need to start using his fists. Do you really want it to get that far? Yes you may be crazy about him for the moment and dating a loud mouth, if you can put up with it, is okay, but please think about the future. He will not change to please you, he will continue to abuse you verbally because he can. Listen to the people that love you for yourself. Take care.


Hi everyone,
im so frustrated and sad. I can't stand my mom anymore. she treats me like a little girl. Like i cant take care of myself. My mom doesnt trust me. she never wants to let me go out. I have a boyfriend. She thinks im just going to go out and have sex. Im so sick and tired of it. Im not stupid I know what the concequences would be. Its all because my sister got pregnat when she was 17. Im 16. How can i make her understant. I cant talk to her anymore. All we do is fight. PLEASE HELP. I TRIED TALKING TO HER BUT DIDNT WORK =( (link)
Your Mum is just being over-protective because she doesn't want you to end up pregnant like your sister. From her point of view it is completely understandable, from your side, however, it is unfair. Your Mum is only doing what she thinks is in your best interests and as a Mum I know how difficult it is to let go and trust your children. Just for the moment it might be wise to accept her limitations but do continue to point out that you are not your sister. The more your Mum can see you have a mind of your own, the more she will relent and loosen the reigns. You will not be 15 forever and things change all the time. Try to understand your Mum and rather than shout to make yourself heard, try talking in a mature, level voice if discussing the issues of boyfriends/sex/dating etc. Continue to reassure her that you are not looking to get pregnant because you want a different future for yourself. She will get there eventually as long as you remain true to yourself. Good luck.


So, my boyfriend has the WORST breath in the world!! Whenever we kiss i smell it and it is not pleasant! I NEED HELP NOW BEFORE I SEE HIM AGAIN! I really don't want to be mean and straight up tell him, but I would rather not continue this fear of being close to him! PLEASE HELP!! (link)
Bad oral hygiene is actually quite common. It is normally the lack of attention to detail when cleaning in and around the teeth. Sometimes an abcess can cause bad breath as well as rotten teeth or blocked sinuses. He needs to have his teeth and mouth checked out by the dentist/oral hygienist to make sure that there is nothing nasty lurking in his mouth. As a quick fix solution, before you meet up with him buy some dental gum or breath freshening gum and offer him one at the same time as using one yourself (it should divert the embarrassment away if you chew one as well even though you may not like/want to chew). Sometimes you have to be blunt about these matters because he may not realise just how much it is affecting you. If a few hints gets you nowhere, perhaps having a chat about how much you love fresh mouths to kiss may just be enough to get him thinking. I hope this all helps.


ok i was talking to a guy and he kept telling me i was hot and sexy. then he said " i wanna turn that shit out".. i didnt know what it meant and i didnt want to ask. so , what does it mean when a guy says that? (link)
He has a big mouth, a big ego and a very small brain. A lot of guys tend to talk like that to make themselves out to look 'cool'. He wants to have sex with you but has no intention of respecting you. Stay friends if you want to but don't give in to any sexual demands.


i am having a serious issue with my 20 yr old daughter! she is moving back east to live with her father. i hate this man. he has never done anything except try to beat me out the child support he was ordered to pay. plus when the kids would go to visit him, he only bad mouths me and i can't defend myself against his lies. he was not around to help support them or get them thru school. he also told both the kids that he could have done a better job raising them. they have both graduated high school with honors. my problem is i can no longer stand her. i asked her to stay here with her brother and me and help us financially which would benefit us all. she won't. if she steps on the plane i will not ever talk to her again. i am going to lose my daughter to a messed up alcoholic. i cannot and will not accept this! she had the nerve to send me an e-mail about a going away party. i want to throw up! this will be the biggest mistake of her life! how do i get on with my life? (link)
Unfortunately your daughter is now an adult and has complete control over her own life. Please don't shut any future you may have with her out just because of your ex. She may well come to realise exactly what he is like and could want to come home again. If you make her feel that she is no longer welcome back home, she might think she has no alternative but to stay with him. You have to trust that the first 20 years of her life, moulded by you, have equipped her with the abilities to see through any charade he may put up, or any bad mouthing he may do against you. Please, please keep open the lines of communication with her. You don't have to agree with her choices but you are her Mum and should be there to pick up the pieces when she needs you. And I am betting that will be sooner rather than later.

Just for the moment, however, you need to use a little self-preservation. Give yourself a pat on the back for bringing up two well educated children and then focus on your Son who is still living at home. I wish you all the very best of luck and hope that she comes home soon. Take care.


ok well this is kind of been upsetting me for a while. Everytime i try to ask a question about my lovelife on here, everyone gives me the same answer to a question i was never asking. I'll be asking about something like becoming more closer to my boyfriend or how to show him my emotions without hiding them and ill say i love him alot or something and thats why i want to be more open towards him and in every advice im given, people always tell me im not inlove. In responses im always getting "He's just a crush so don't worry" or "Your to young to be inlove". I don't see how someone can be to young to be inlove, its like saying a child doesn't love his mum because he's to young to understand what it is. Ok i started to think "what exactly IS love?" and i googled it and got this answer "a strong positive emotion of regard and affection". So according to the dictionary, i AM in fact inlove. Its just these people who think that age does make a difference. I can understand that most people think teenagers are just hormone driven and that because while we are going through puberty and we start to feel more for the opposite sex or the same sex in some cases that we are just overwhelmed by these emotions and mis-judge it as love. It's not like i write all over my school books "I LOVE [NAME]" or in my msn name or anything like that, i just constantly have this inner warmth when i think about him or hear his voice or when hes cuddling me. I feel like even though im growing up people still treat me as a child for believing that im inlove. Theres only a select few of people i know who understand how i feel and i just need to know how people can think that someone who hasn't exactly had a lifetime of experience can be wrong about being inlove? Am i thinking stupidly? Should i just not even try a relationship until im over 20? Im so confused about everything and people are making me feel like im not inlove and im starting to grow distant to my boyfriend because of it. Please help. (link)
It's not up to other people to interpret how you feel and whether or not you are genuinely in love with someone. Regardless of any comments you may get, only you know those inners feelings. It is easy for me to tell you to ignore everyone else, but at 15 that is sometimes hard to do. Don't give up on this guy just because of other people. Believe in yourself at all times and trust that what you feel is true. Hold your head up high and enjoy what you have together. Experience as much as you can because you are only young once. Take care.


14/f
dont tell me about love because my boyfriend and i are in love. the thing is im worried because im only 14, and we've been together for a year. but your teen years are when you're suppose to have fun, not be comitted to a relationship for the rest of your life. eh any comments or opinons would be appreciated :) (link)
If you have found 'the one' at 14 that does not stop you having fun together. I met my husband at the age of 15 and we are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this year. We have been together for over 30 years and are still in love with each other. Having a partner at that age that you can trust completely can be a great advantage and you know that whatever you do together will have a greater meaning later in life because you experienced it together. If it sadly does not work out, don't ever regret being together. Everything you do, at whatever age, makes you who you are.


14/f

last night in my sleep I sort of had this dream thing where it was like my clit was being fingered really really hard, and then I started to orgasm and I sort of woke up in the middle of it, and that was all i remembered about my dream last night.

I'm a girl... is it weird that I orgasmed in my sleep? how come this hasn't happened before? how can i get it to happen again? (link)
It is perfectly normal for your body to start being aware of its sexuality and for you to orgasm in your sleep. I don't think that you can make yourself do it again spontaneously but you could try thinking nice thoughts just before you drift off to sleep. When they do happen, just enjoy them and they will help you to start understanding just what your body is capable of when you are ready (not for quite a while yet please) to begin a full sexual relationship.


Hello .
Right now,My mom hates me. She hits me and doesn't love me.
She wants to put me up for adoption.
Do you know what age you can be put up for adoption in California.
Thanks. (link)
I am so sorry that you find yourself in such an awful situation and I feel really angry with your Mom for not knowing what a gift she has in a daughter. Please talk to someone about what is going on in your home, for instance the police, a child abuse counsellor or another adult you can trust. You need to get yourself out of this situation as fast as possible. Is there a member of your family you could go and stay with? You will not always feel like this and one day your Mom may bitterly regret her treatment of you. I wish you all the very best and hope that life gets a whole lot better very soon. Take care.


14 /f i dont normally masturbate. But recently i've had the need to do it. But the problem is that i'm never alone. I'm always with my family or friends. Can you help me? Tell me what i can use. When i can masturbate and where i can do it in the house. Thanks (link)
It is normal to have sexual urges at your age. Try to keep your masturbating private, usually confined to your bedroom when you are alone. I suggest you DO NOT use anything in the house for penetration but either buy on line or from a specialist store, a vibrator. You can either purchase it yourself or get someone you trust to do so. Keep it scrupulously clean at all times to prevent infections. Basic vibrators can be quite cheap to buy nowadays and if they are delivered, will be discreetly packaged. It is up to you to decide how often you want to masturbate but don't make yourself sore. Try exploring yourself to begin with to establish what feels nice to you.


do you think that we dont realize how much a person meant to you until they are gone?
we dont realize how much a person meant to you until they are gone like for example when your friend is moving while your avoiding them because you dont wanna get hurt but next thing you know you getting hurt anyways? i mean i think if you distance yourself from that person or spend time with them hurts the same...dont you think? sorry im not good at english so its all mixed up
(link)
Very often when a person has gone from our lives, we regret not saying those things we wished we had. For instance telling them how much they meant to us or how much we had appreciated them just being there. That is why it is so important to tell the people who mean the most to you just how much that is.

When you realise someone is going from your life it is very tempting to step back and distance yourself from them in order to stop yourself from being hurt. It is a normal and natural human instinct for self preservation. However much it may hurt for now, staying in contact with that person for as long as possible is the best way forward. Whether they are moving away or dying, try to stay positive and open up a conversation saying all those things you want to tell them. If that is too awkward try writing a letter that they could read or have read to them. You will feel a whole lot better in the long run. I hope that I have helped in some way and wish you all the best.


Hello!! Okay well i just wanted to know like all the sayings and words that people say in the United Kingdom. I am going for a special school thing and i would like to fit it in a little better. Like do they really say "Hiya" and "wicked" and their is like a word like "pity" idk..but wat are some other words,sayings?? I know they have the beautiful accent and stuff but i just want to know the usual words that they speak. Oh and what words they like NEVER say!! Thankyou soo much for all your answers (link)
We have something called Cockney rhyming slang in England usually associated with London) - for instance: Apples and pears = stairs, a titfer is a hat as in tit-for-tat. Try googling Cockney Rhyming Slang. We also say 'spot on' if something is correct. Cor blimey is old-fashioned but still gets used. Not many people speak the good old 'Queen's English' any more unless they are out to impress someone. Personally I hate it when talking to someone who misses out the 'S' in words, for example yea instead of yes. We also have street talk which I really don't know much about. The youth seem to talk a completely different language. I try not to swear, especially in front of my children.


Ok, so last night my friends and I tp'd this guys house and what we did was just like two rolls of toilet paper but that part didn't work to well and the we poured chocolate syrup on the drive ways and egged his house. But with the eggs we cracked them open and kinda like rubbed them onto the house and splatted them on the driveway. One egg also accidentally went into the engine area of the car we think. Then his girlfriend came over to all of our houses and asked us if we did it (we said no) and then said that if no one came to them that they would go to the police.
What we want to know is that
A. does it sound like they are joking with the police?
B. Will the police actually come to our houses even though we are just a "Hunch"
C. What is the extent of our damage?
D. Do police really care that much about T.p'd houses.
E. What is a punishment. (link)
I guess you live in America and as I live in England I can only answer what they would do here.

A. The girlfriend may well be joking, but it is not a joking matter and she is well justified in going to the police.

B. If a complaint is made then the police will follow it up and they will go to your house.

C. The damage done by toilets rolls is negligible and can be removed eventually by picking off the bits (harder if they are wet). The chocolate syrup will probably be enjoyed by the wildlife, but chocolate can harm some animals because their digestive systems can't really handle it. As for the eggs - they are really difficult to get off and need quite a bit of elbow grease and soap to get rid of.

D. In England the police do care about this type of vandalism and will take it seriously because it affects peoples quality of life (especially if it is a regular occurrence).

C. As for the punishment - I don't know what they do in America but in England the offenders will get either a warning or a fine. If it is persistent they will probably end up in court facing a charge of not keeping the peace.


It may seem to not be a big deal to you and your friends, but to have it done to you is a different matter. Before doing any kind of action like that again, please think through the consequences and whether it would affect you or your family should it happen to them.

I hope that I have been able to clarify some points for you. Take care.


What makes you happy the most? (link)
Being with my Husband, Son and two Daughters all together, which doesn't happen very often now. Knowing that I am alive another day makes me pretty happy too.


Does anyone know how to makea big nose look small
No surgery lol please (link)
I'm not sure if it would work, but try different shades of foundation to 'slim' down your nose. It might be worth experimenting a little or asking at a make-up counter at a large store. Hope it helps.


i like to hump anything aorund the house to make me cum. i need to stop. what to do? (link)
I suggest confining your humping to the bedroom and buy yourself a vibrator that you can keep clean. There is nothing wrong in wanting to feel good all the time, but there is the need for privacy. Imagine how embarrassed you would feel if the neighbours or your friends called round unexpectedly and found you humping the furniture!


This is a repeated conflict between my husband and I. I was raised that whoever has the most means should pay; he was raised that the parent always pays, no matter what. We have two small children and a very busy lifestyle. My dad is retired (divorced and alone) and comes over for dinner often. Sometimes I cook, sometimes we get takeout, occasionally we go to Friendly's. My dad never chips in a dime or picks up after himself or offers to bring anything. This infuraties my husband to no end; he calls my dad a cheapskate and says he hates him. My mother and stepfather and my mother-in-law NEVER LET US PAY FOR ANYTHING. My Dad has no idea the conflict he causes in my marriage; we've been married for 8 years and have fought about this at least fifty times. WHAT DOES EVERYONE THINK? (link)
I can see this from both sides - your Dad is doing it out of habit and upbringing, and so is your Husband. There has to be a compromise and the only way to settle this is for them both to be grown-up enough to discuss it like the men they are supposed to be. It is no good your Husband whining like a child to you that your Dad is a 'cheapskate' because that achieves only to infuriate you. On the other hand, try offering to pay when you are out with your Mother, Stepfather and Mother-in-Law, they may well refuse but the offer is there. Your Husband will then hopefully see this situation from another viewpoint. You will always find conflict in every relationship and talking it through will be the only solution. If they refuse to see it from the other side's point of view, them I am afraid you will have to get tough and refuse to get involved. Tell your Dad that he will have to try offering and tell your Husband to be man enough to accept that sometimes you don't get your own way. I hope that this conflict resolves itself amicably and you manage to come through it "unscathed". Good luck.


well in a few weeks the final harry potter book will come out. ive been reading harry potter since 3rd grade and i love those books! im so excited i can hardly wait!! but theres one thing im not looking forward to. a lot of my friends arent allowed to read it. their parents think its evil and written by the devil or something. ever since i started reading them, i would get remarks from my friends or their parents. "your parents let you read THAT?" in 4th grade i had a friend who wasnt allowed to play with me anymore after her parents saw me reading harry potter. well now im 13 and i dont really care. there is NOTHING wrong with those books, theyre fiction, they dont turn people into witches, and they show that good is good and evil is bad. but i just want to know what i should say if someone gives me some remark. i dont want to be rude, i just want people to know those books are not evil and im not a bad person for reading them.
(link)
Occasionally people do have some strange ideas. I am a mum to a 12 year old girl and we certainly read all the books and watch the films together. It is a very highly entertaining subject that is in no way evil. It was written by a very talented lady with a great imagination and that is all. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I would just tell them that it would be better to agree to disagree on this subject. They should not impose their values onto you, as you would not do it to them. Sometimes people do get fact and fiction mixed up, but Harry Potter is most definitely fiction. Enjoy the books and films and ignore other peoples rude remarks.


all i want is my daddy to love me! thats it i have no mom i just have dad and he doesnt love me! i want to give him kisses and hugs but he turns away, when i say i love you dad he doesnt answer. ever since i was a little girl! i just want to see what it feel like to hug my dad :( and for him to love me! how can i make my father love me! (link)
Some men are completely hopeless at showing their emotions. They may feel it is not 'masculine' to demonstrate their love and the people around them should know they are loved without words. He may be like this, which is not very useful for you. Ask him to hug you when he is in a relaxed mood, or take the initiative and hug him. He may respond well or, he may get embarrassed - why not give it a try. Don't announce that you are going to hug him, just go up, give him a quick peck on the cheek, a quick hug and tell him you love him. Also tell him what a great job he is doing bringing you up alone. I hope this works for you. Good luck.




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