|
Love.
ok well this is kind of been upsetting me for a while. Everytime i try to ask a question about my lovelife on here, everyone gives me the same answer to a question i was never asking. I'll be asking about something like becoming more closer to my boyfriend or how to show him my emotions without hiding them and ill say i love him alot or something and thats why i want to be more open towards him and in every advice im given, people always tell me im not inlove. In responses im always getting "He's just a crush so don't worry" or "Your to young to be inlove". I don't see how someone can be to young to be inlove, its like saying a child doesn't love his mum because he's to young to understand what it is. Ok i started to think "what exactly IS love?" and i googled it and got this answer "a strong positive emotion of regard and affection". So according to the dictionary, i AM in fact inlove. Its just these people who think that age does make a difference. I can understand that most people think teenagers are just hormone driven and that because while we are going through puberty and we start to feel more for the opposite sex or the same sex in some cases that we are just overwhelmed by these emotions and mis-judge it as love. It's not like i write all over my school books "I LOVE [NAME]" or in my msn name or anything like that, i just constantly have this inner warmth when i think about him or hear his voice or when hes cuddling me. I feel like even though im growing up people still treat me as a child for believing that im inlove. Theres only a select few of people i know who understand how i feel and i just need to know how people can think that someone who hasn't exactly had a lifetime of experience can be wrong about being inlove? Am i thinking stupidly? Should i just not even try a relationship until im over 20? Im so confused about everything and people are making me feel like im not inlove and im starting to grow distant to my boyfriend because of it. Please help.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's kind of complicated. I think that what people mean when they say you're too young to be in love is that you're too young to have a mature love for someone.
Sure, you can fall in love at a young age. I know I did. But now that I'm older, and in a serious relationship, I've realized that it's a different kind of love. When I fell in love before, I thought I couldn't live without him. It definitely wasn't a crush, since it was a lot stronger. But it's not the same kind of love that I have for my boyfriend now... that's more steady, a mutual acceptance of each others' faults, a total ease with each other. I know that doesn't sound exclusive to older people, but it's really hard to explain. Adult love isn't like a rush, or even just a warmth. That's definitely affection, and it's great to have, and it's okay to call it love as long as you realize it's young love.
Why do I distinguish between adult love and young love? I'm in my second year of university now. In my first year, about 95% of the couples from high school ended up breaking up by the time October rolled around (including mine). It's very common to find out that you're just not in love enough to hold out when you've got so many more options.
You mention the fact that you're growing up... and that's exactly it. You're still maturing. Teenagers are a little wonky... for the most part it takes until your late teens to really start making decisions on who you are and what you want out of life.
But don't worry! There's always the rating system, right? If they do nothing but tell you you're a dumb kid for being in love, they're wrong. Young love is a big part of growing up, and there's nothing wrong with it.
]
Hey.
Well, what people tell you here on advicenators isn't fact. It's just their oppinion on a subject.
Here's the deal : some people meet the person that they want to, and will spend the rest of their life with as young as when they're three.
It starts with you knowing this person for a long time, getting comfortable around them, realizing you like them, and the bond grows from there.
I agree, I'm thirteen and people have told me all the time I'm not in love. The thing is, I know how I feel, and noone else does. It's the same with you. By what you tell us, you really like, even love, this kid. However, since we aren't you, we can't feel exactly how much. If you think you love someone, chances are you really do. Don't listen to whatever anyone else tells you, becuase the bottom line is, you're the only one that knows for sure.
I hope this helped.
]
Well, I'm not trying to please you here or anything, but I know what you're talking about. It's too long to be an infatuation, and it's too strong to be a crush.
I don't think age, religion, race, gender, or any factors should play in love. Love is love and anyone of any age can be in love. No one is too young to feel a feeling...wow that sounds redundant. Feel a feeling..haha anyways.
You're not thinking stupidly, although basing your feelings on a definition was just eh. You can't use logic to figure out if you are or aren't in love. So, anyways. What you feel can be determined by only you because no one else can feel what you're feeling no matter how close to you they are. So if you feel like you're in love, then you're in love. Enjoy life and believe in what you feel. Never let what other people say influence your thinking.
And as a very wise and sexy man said, "Be yourself. Don't take anyone's sh*t and never let them get you alive." Gerard Way
Haha, but yeah. If you feel like you're in love, enjoy it. Don't let other people's words influence your feeling and your relationship =)
]
It's not up to other people to interpret how you feel and whether or not you are genuinely in love with someone. Regardless of any comments you may get, only you know those inners feelings. It is easy for me to tell you to ignore everyone else, but at 15 that is sometimes hard to do. Don't give up on this guy just because of other people. Believe in yourself at all times and trust that what you feel is true. Hold your head up high and enjoy what you have together. Experience as much as you can because you are only young once. Take care.
]
More Questions: |