about

I'm an 29 year old guy.
I'll always do my best to give well considered and sincere advice - give me your best shot. P.S. Don't be afraid to ask me private questions, I rarely spend a lot of time answering non-private questions.

o.o There is apparently a FORUM for me if you would like to talk about random non-advice stuff. Take off your shoes!

advice

how can i become a level II mod?

If they make you one. I think DangerNerd (and maybe DangerWench too) is the only one who can make you a level 2/II. Level 2 is reserved for very trusted, very frequent advice-givers. If you read the site FAQ it will give a more detailed description, but it basically says that the only time they look for a level 2 mod is if one leaves, or dies.
Be a veeeeery good little boy (Cough, or girl... 0=)
and maybe the next time they need one, you will be their choice.

-K

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Is there a way to take a ASF file and change it to a WMA file... like a software or something that can convert it...or something I can download... thanks Mucho!!

ffMpeg is a very good conversion program, but I'm not sure if there's a windows build. It's shareware, with the option to sponsor.
VLC is a good media READING application, if you just want to be able to view stuff. It's freeware at the moment, but it might disappear with the media rights battle going on at the moment, so get it while it's good.

-K

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My boyfriend and I were having sex, same as normal. We put the condom on correctly, but it still broke in the middle of us having sex. He hadn't cum yet so we just stopped there and finished in ways other then sex. My boyfriend said he didn't pre-cum, but I'm not sure that he knows exactly what that means, and I'm pretty sure you can't control that kind of thing. Is there a good chance that I could still get pregnant or anything I could do?

I need a real answer, so please, no 13 year olds that are just guessing.

Meh, I probably knew this when I was 13, but don't worry, 17 yrs here.
If you have the morning after pill, then I suggest taking it. If you don't, then I'd only start to worry if you skip your next period. It's impossible for a guy to control his ejaculation. During sex a small amount of semen is ejaculated, with the biological purpose of helping to lubricate the female. It is possible to become pregnant from this, however it is much less likely than full, unprotected sex. Because he had a condom on, even though it broke, it's less likely that much of his ejaculate got far enough into you to cause pregnancy.
If it happens again, wash your vagina out as soon as you can. Don't finish having sex, because female orgasm can produce a "sucking" motion through the (Well, you can't expect me to remember the name of the muscle, can you? - tryyyyinggggggg) cervix, which would assist any semen on its way to make you pregnant.
Once again, I don't think you should worry about it until time for your next period, if you skip then definitely get a pregnancy test kit, and see your doctor about things.
And then everyone started to wonder "how did a guy know all of that?" ^.-

-K

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why do you burp and get the hiccups.

And then someone gave you a simple answer... :)

Hiccups are spasms of the diaphragm, which cause you to involuntarily draw a sharp breath, "hic". Unfortunately the hiccup can also cause you to swallow that air, or the spasming might even have a "burping" (like patting a baby) effect on your stomach.
You swallow the air, or your stomach is settled by the movement of your diaphragm (ok, so I don't know about that one, but it sounds possible) and this causes you to need to burp.

Oh yeah, one last thing. Sometimes; well actually all the time when I drink carbonated drinks, I get the hiccups. If you're drinking a carbonated drink at the time, then it's the drink makin' you burp (Carbon dioxide coming out of compression inside your stomach).


-K

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sorry this is so long but... is it wrong not to love your father, now hold on don't blow a gasket i'll explain everything. ya see my dad went to jail when i was really young and and i never got to know him. and my grandperents keep wanting me to go clear across the state to visit him. and i don't wanna spend 5 days in a hot car just to see someone i dont even know for 2 hours. but i feel so ashamed, i feel so self centered, i feel so selfish. i feel like i owe it to him to go. please i want your oupion am i the scum of the earth, or am i ok

please, dont yell at me. i already feel bad enough as it it.

It's fine that you don't love your father. It isn't fine if you hate him. It isn't really fine if you dislike him even, if you ask me. If you don't know him, then you really shouldn't judge that he is going to be a bad guy, he could be really nice, although the chances of that in prison are a little slimmer.
Do you live with your grandparents? What about your mother? Anyway, just wondering why your grandparents had such an influence on telling you where to go...
You say that you feel like you owe it to him to go. I think you owe it to him too. Aren't you even curious to know what kind of a guy he is? Don't you want a reason to be proud of, or angry with him?
At the very least, you should see that going to see him might be the only bright spot in his long life in prison.
Then again; maybe he doesn't want to see you. Do you know? How do your grandparents know that he even wants to see you? Maybe he's a child-molesting creep, who wouldn't want to see his own son. Perhaps you should talk to him on the phone before you spend those 5 days in a hot car.
In the end, it's not "wrong" not to love him. Give him a chance to know you, and perhaps he will win your love. Or at least give you a reason to not love him.

-K

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this is'nt a random wirdo but i could,nt find anything in this area. im a 13m and i have a little problem. my friends keep laughing at me about my eyebows. and i dont know what to do, ya see if i pulk my eyebows im a fag but if i dont do anything, im a freak, so how can i get rid of my bushy unabrow without being judged.

Pluck them out anyway. If your friends call you a fag, tell them to piss off and get new friends. Sorry to be hostile about them, but anybody who's willing to say stuff like that isn't your friend.
Once you've kept a watch out for new eyebrow growing for a couple of weeks, people might even start to forget about it, and before you know it, nobody will know you ever had a monobrow :)
Seriously though, plucking it to stop yourself looking like a troll has NOTHING to do with your sexual orientation. That's just really STUPID -.^
I'm sure that a lot of girls would find you lots more attractive with seperate eyebrows.

-K

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I just met this girl in pottery and she is really cool.( we are both Freshman) We were just talking and she said she used to cut herself and do drugs but not anymore.She said in the summer of 2009 (when we graduate) her and her friends from a different school are going to burn down there old school and then stand across from each other and shoot themselves because they all want to die at the same time.I dont know if I should tell anybody.She sounds really serious about it and I dont kno what I should do.I dont think I can tell a consouler because they will confront her and she will know it was me because i was the only person she told.Ill rate high

2009? That's fine then, you've got 4 years to help her start loving her life. I'd be interested to know why she stopped cutting and doing drugs, because if she seems to hate her life enough to want to die in 2009 then I wouldn't expect her to do that.
It also seems strange to wait to graduate before trying to burn down the school, and commit suicide, but I suppose stranger delusions have come true.
If you're around her in 4 years time, and you haven't managed to change her mind, then you can always try to throw up a distraction, and make sure she can't get there to do it.
You've got 4 years to think of ways to stop her from doing it, so really, I don't think you should worry too much. "Worry", as in be worried about it, but don't get too frantic until a little later.
The one thing I would try to do, is find out why she would do it. The key to stopping her from doing something you don't think she should do, is to help her see that the reason she would be doing it is stupid, or misinformed.
Anyway, get to know her.

-K

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As soon as i get out of the shower, and i just shaved my underarms, It looks as if I haven't shaved in 2 days! All my friends at partys lift their arms up, and you can't even tell they shave there! I feel really uncomfortable raising my hand in a halter or like stretching in public because it looks as if I haven't shaved in a while! I shave my armpits every morning, but still! Do You have any idea of what i may be doing wrong or good products to use?? Please help me!

X's and Oh's

(I've read that you can wax there, but that's gone too far for me)

I think you can buy personal small area electrolysis devices for maybe $50. What they do is; you clip on a head for a largish area, or use tweesers for single hairs, and it sends minute electrical pulses through the hairs that make the follicle let go of the hair, and close up. Because the follicle closes, it doesn't grow back.
If you wanted to permanently get rid of it, I'd try that. You might want to research how well they work first though, as I'm not sure.

-K

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I go to an all girls high school. I am 14, and the biggest tomboy EVER!! Thing is, i really want a bf. I have friends who r guys, but they cood never be a boyfriend. I cant just go up to a guy i see at the movies or mall, like thats just not who i am. Im not sure guys wood ever think of me as more than someone they cood talk sports with. Other than me not having a bf, im happy with being a tomboy, and not wearing makeup, and wearing football jerseys. I dont wanna change myself. What shood i do? pleees help!!

See if you can find a guy who likes tom-girls! They exist. You could try making an effort to be an "attractive tom-girl" if you wanted to find those kinds of guys. Kind of contrast from day to day, or on special occasions to show them you're still a girl, but keep up your evil tomboy ways ^.-
Maybe you could get your friends to introduce you to guys they know, or try to make male friends at social events or parties.
If you find guys who want to talk sports with you, then the chances are that they like you. If you're really involved in the sport, and they like to talk to you, then they would probably want to know you outside of it. Just watch out for the jerk-jocks.
My most coherent advice; just don't lose confidence. You are who you are, and you don't want to change, so find someone who likes it.

-K

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is it wrong for a 13M to have been never been kissed.

Add five years, then you'll be my age. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, the right girl hasn't been around at the right moment.

-K

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sorry for being so long just need to know wat it means I RATE 5's !!!!!i had this realy weird dream were these evil rock people were trying to kill me so then finaly we got them in a room and was filling it with deadly gasses and i got locked in side so then i started dieing slowly finally somehow someone gave me a gun slow i pointed the gun to my stomache *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* but i didnt die just made my pain worse then i shot my heart *bang* still didnt die shot my head i still didnt die!!!then i woke up

Okay ^_^ my forté. I have a dream decoder book;

The dream book says you are running from a situation you find frightening, and that you've hardened your emotions against it. You may break the confidence of others, but you will find the strength to stand alone against anybody's attacks. You may be held guilty for doing something good, only because others could not have done it.
Sometimes I think the dream book is full of crap, so you know, everything relates to your current situation. A more literal interpretation of your dream would be that there is something you are afraid of, that you wish would just go away, but eventually you are going to have to face it - you can't keep running, and unless you do something about it, you're just going to get more stressed about it.
Then again, maybe you're happy, and it was just a freak screwed up dream... :)

-K

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I'm 14/f.

I'm a freshman and I like a sophomore. Well, we're in a club together and we had a carwash today and it was a lot of fun. My crush and I started talking and it was really cool. Well, my friend filled up a bucket with water and dumped it over my head. I was already soaked enough but after that I was WET. My crush asked me why I didn't go change and I told him I didn't have anything to change into so he offered me his shirt. Well, that was really sweet of him but he then he started messing with me, like, I got him a little wet and he threatened to hit my butt and after that he threw a wet washcloth at me (not directly and not hard, just so I would get a little bit wet) and then he started smiling at me. Well, I also found out he has a girlfriend so what's the deal? I'm not trying to break them up, all I want to be is friends with him right now, but does he like me?

It sounds to me like he's just playing about. A lot of guys (I hate stereotypes) can be dogs when it comes to being faithful, and resisting fooling around with other girls. If he's got a girlfriend, then he probably shouldn't have done the washcloth gag, but hey maybe she's forgiving of his flirts. I always assure people that they're right not to try and affect other people's relationships, because it only leads them to hating the person who broke them up.
Shortly, I'd be careful, because he sounds like a player. Until you really know him, "don't make any sudden moves" ^.-
Until he's a free man, don't give him reasons to flirt with you, and try not to be too receptive. If he does dump his girlfriend, try to find out who she is and see if she's friendly. It could be very useful to know why he dumped her. Her friendship could save you bothering with him if he's a jerk, then again, she could be a creepy bitch who just doesn't want him to have a nice girlfriend - always a possibility with estranged partners.

Shortly; Wait until he's single.

-K


-------EDIT-------
"Just one more thing, he and his girlfriend are always on and off would that have anything to do with anything?"

Try to figure out if they're boy and girl, or just good friends who get together, and then fall apart until they get together again.
You could see it as a volatile relationship if you wanted to - but it's still a relationship until they're apart for a while... say 3 weeks, then you could start to check things out.
If his current relationship is like that, I'd be asking why, and making sure it isn't him, because that's the sort of thing that happens when jerks seem to have some kind of appeal to a girl. He cheats on her, she hates him for a while, then she decides she needs him, and everything's fine again until he cheats again. Nasty relationships.
Anyhoo, assess the situation!

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My girlfriend of two years recently lost her father to cancer. That was about two months ago and it was a tough time for her but in the last week she has begun to bounce back and smile agian.
The problem is, we haven't had sex since her father passed. I don't want to sound like an ass or anything, but we used to have a really active sex life and now it feels like there is this wall between us I can't get past.
Anyone know how I could bring this up without offending her? Do you think it's too soon? I miss the sex of course, but I can live without if she's not ready.

If she's just starting to smile again sometimes, she probably isn't really thinking about sex too much just yet. You don't sound like a jerk at all btw. In your situation, you're obviously still around with her a lot. If you want to find out if she's 'ready' to use the word lightly, then give her the opportunity.
Think about the times when you used to be active, and try to remember anything that was particularly good for getting her to act cute. Things she liked to do, or things you'd say. Give her hints - but as you said, don't be a jerk about it. If she just doesn't seem to be interested, don't push it, you know what I'm talking about so I won't do a spiel for you.
The most important thing that you can do right now is be there for her. The more you are there for her, the faster she'll get over things and you'll get back to your "active life", but for now, just give her the occasional gentle hint, and whatever you do, -DO- -NOT- -EVER- give her the feeling that you've used her grief to get her to bed, because that could end your chances forever.

-K

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I am 15 year old male, gay, and attending High School. In the past year, I've come to terms with who I am and I've come out to 2 of my friends. My huge problem is that nobody my age comes out of the closet so I am going to be single for a while. I am despretely lonely and wanting someone to sweep me off my feet. I just feel so deprest and want to have a boyfriend like all the other straight couples have where you love each other and understand each other and comfort one another. My problem is that there is this guy that I like but he has no clue I exist. I think that he is gay. The signs are that he is in tennis, went to tennis camp and is trying out for the tennis team, is in drama class, his eyebrows look plucked, he looks well made up and his hair is curly and conditioned, he is fit, and all his friends are strangely attractive. I also see the way he looks at guys and can kinda tell. I really want to become friends with him so that I can be around him and be happy and possibly get him to come out to me and maybe even become my boyfriend but I don't know how to go up to him and become his friend. It's like I can't just walk up to him and say hey what's up because we don't know each other so I was thinking of bringing up tennis because I've started taking lessons and stuff and I'm going to try out for the team just so I can be there with him and possibly go to his camp and get closer to him. I just don't know how to become his friend or how to talk to him. What should I do?

I don't want to be the one to discourage homosexuality, but I think perhaps the best way to go about things is to keep it out of school. Sure it's alright to meet the guy at school, but I would really recommend keeping displays of affection MILES away from school. There are some real homophobes around at your age, and being openly gay will probably make your school life a living hell.
That said, I think you would be perfectly fine just walking up to him and saying hey, even if he doesn't know you. I say so, because if he were gay he'd probably give you a chance... but you don't seem to want to do that, so I'll try to think of something else. But seriously, you could go up and compliment his tennis and take it from there. (Ok, I can't think of anything else) Really, the only way you're going to meet him is if you get talking to him somehow, so just leave all of your opportunities open. Maybe if you make sure you smell nice, and pull his trick he'll figure out you're gay, and approach you.
Lastly, be prepared if he isn't gay. Some guys are pretty feminine, yet still retain their sexual orientation - I've been called gay by a lot of people, but I've never been, and as far as I can tell, never will be homosexual. I just try to be nice for the girls. Maybe he's doing the same, so you should always be ready to leave him behind if he's straight. Nothing is worse than trying to be converted when you know you're straight (well, I wouldn't know, but I can imagine X_X)

Hope I've given you some ideas, or the confidence to talk to him, but once again, I'd try to keep it out of school. 15, 16, even some adults are morons, and you don't want them to screw up your life.

-K

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my mom keeps telling me to do chores like take out the trash, do the dishes, and other stuff.but when i ask her to help she says it's not her job. so i ask then what is your job. and she says to be the mom. and so after that she orders me to do the dishs. and i say you do them. and she says you have to earn your keep. and so i say you dont earn your keep you dont even have a job. so i get grounded. why sould i work when my mom dos'nt. i dont think i was put on this planet to do dishes. and im not her robot. but i dont wanna be grounded. should i alpolage and destroy my pride or should i hold my feet down and stay grounded.

sorry it was so long.
i'll rate a 5 no matter what

It doesn't sound like you have a very good relationship with your mum, and I hope you don't mind me saying so, but it doesn't sound like you have a very good mum either. (mum = Australian version of mom)
She's your parent for god's sake! She should be there to help you out. That's what being a mum IS. If she pulls the line of being a parents again, then tell her that part of the package is to care, and to help you. Personally, if I had parents that sound as neglectful as she does, then I'd be getting a part time job, and either renting a small apartment, or just doing everything for myself. If she really doesn't care then you should just cook for yourself, clean up the dishes you make, and do your own laundry - she couldn't complain that you weren't pulling your own weight.
That is a rather stressful life for some people, I know it would be for me, so the best thing I think you can do is try to show your mum that it really is part of her duty to care for you. She probably does care, after all you're her kid, but she just might not have much of a clue.
I think maybe you have to demand that she listens to you - my mum never listened to me, until I started to refuse to argue with her - the most important thing for you is to try and get her to understand how you feel about things, and come to some compromise that she's happy with.
Just remember, it's probably more difficult being a good parent than you think, so you shouldn't be too annoyed if she still wants you to do some of the chores around the place -accept it.

The bottom line; Apologise for being rude, and tell her you want to talk. She's not allowed to storm out on you, and if she does, then (urgh, really shitty situation) I'd try again, then consider something worse, like moving out (maybe that would bring her around - if it didn't, at least you'd be out of there). Any way things go, things will probably get better. Better than slouching around grounded, mad with your mother.

-K

-------EDIT-------
Well, I didn't know you're 13! You didn't say so -.^
Anyway, it's still an option to move out of home if you're in a REALLY bad situation. There are houses that provide carers, and stuff like that.

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okay...well this is stupid and i know the answer is going to probably be something like "well you lost your chance" or something...
well I was really close to this guy, and we were like practically dating, and I felt like i didnt like him (which i was totally wrong) and we stopped hanging out and we both went on vacation and didnt see each other for like a month, and when i came back he hugged me, and i realized that i still have feelings for him, but him and one of my best friends are like dating now, and I told him I'm not messing anything up between them,but I still like him. and now after I told him that he's ignoring me. I dont want him to ignore me...

and the reason i thought i didnt like him was I like this other guy more than ANYONE in the world...and he told my friend jason he wanted to go out with me again (we dated for 2 years) but then when i asked him about it he said he would email me, so he does like 3 weeks later saying i dont know what to do and stuff like that, then he emails me again because he was ignoring me, and he said he was sorry for ignoring me but he was still thinking and everything..then we went to the fair with a bunch of friends and stuff *hes REALLY shy so we didnt talk alot but we did talk* and i was the only one he let take his picture..but now i havent talked or seen him in 2 weeks. I dont know if i should ask him about it or just leave it alone... because i think i liek him more than the other guy who is dating my freind

i know thats probably stupid and confusing..

Try to calm down about it a little. Getting mixed up about it will probably lead you into doing something that you'll think was a mistake later on.
While both of the guys are around, you most certainly haven't lost any of your chances. I will refer to the nameless guys as "Guy nº 1" as the one who is now dating your friend, and "Guy nº 2" to avoid confusion.
I think guy nº one is having trouble with the idea that you like him. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy to just be a complete jerk, and stop talking to you because he's got a girlfriend (although it's always a possibility). It's likely he just doesn't want to deal with anything that could make him waver in his current relationship, and that is you.
If you really did like him so much, then you could wait to see how he's going with your friend, and maybe they'll fall apart or something. If they did, I'd be asking her why before taking up the race for him. If you need confirmation, you're right in not trying to mess up relationships, but I think you already knew that.
Guy nº 2 doesn't sound that bad. The shy ones are sometimes the nicest. It depends on how you really feel about him. If you're seriously considering getting back together with him though, be mindful of why you broke up the first time, and try to resolve that before you start up with him again. Sometimes things like that can be the hurdle that couples just never get over that stops them being right for each-other.

Basically, I think you should slow down on things. They don't seem to be going anywhere, and as long as that's true, then you're not losing anyone. The best way to lose chances is to screw something up, and then you could never get the chance again. Take some time to think everything through, and then when you're so sure that you know what is right, do something about it.

-K

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Yesterday I asked a question about how to make an audio CD, and I got a pretty good answer there. But now where is the mic jack? Is it the same thing as the headphone jack? Thanks!

The headphone jack is for headphones, the Microphone jack is for a microphone... They are definitely different, although it usually doesn't do damage getting them mixed up, just nothing will work. Usually, you'll get MIC or a pic of an "ice-cream cone" microphone on the microphone jack. If you don't get any symbols, the headphone jack should be green.
Depending on how old your stuff is, you might not have a microphone jack. In this case I think you can get "Serial port" microphones, but if you get one it will only work in your computer. If you've got no microphone jack (your computer would have to be more than 4 yrs old) then phone a computer store and they'll sort you out.

Oh, just a question of my own. Were you going to be singing for this audio cd? Or are you trying to record from tape or some other media onto a CD?
If you're trying to transpose, a MIC jack isn't really what you need (I'm not sure it would work) you'd want an "audio in" jack, which is denoted by a hollow circle, with two solid triangles pointing to the centre from the left and right sides.

Anything more specific, you can private question me if you like.

-K

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I play tennis, and lately I've been trying to get down the top-spin so that I can be more effective. I've got it down really well for my backhand, but I can't seem to do it that weel for my forehand.


Does anyone have any tips or advice for how I can become better at a forehand top-spin? Thanks.

Difficult to describe, but are you using the 'loop' kind of motion?
Make sure your wrist is layed back, and make a U with your forehand (left or right... I'm left handed, you're probably right handed)
By the time your wrist is half less layed back, you should've looped the racket down in a circle to about a foot behind yourself. It should be kind of low.
When you hit the ball, the raquet should be parallel to the net, about a foot infront of you, with your arm fully extended outwards. You should be going from low down in the loop, to high up, and tilting the racket / forward through the ball to get spin in your follow-through.
Imagine a tennis court. Your hand's path is like a circle, going away from, and towards the net.
Basically, your hand should follow a 3 quarter circle, and then the last bit of the circle should flip out like it's been bent towards the net.
You shouldn't forget to start side on, and end up facing the net, either.
Hope you can understand the instructions...

-K

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okay this is mainly a question for guys. girls if you want to put in your own input go for it. these are random questions ive always wanted answers for;

1. is it okay for a girl ask out a guy first
2. is it okay for a girl to ask out a guy for a informal/formal school dance
3. do guys find girls who burp un-attractive [and yes i burp but not like all the time]
4. do guys find people who are overweight or fat un-attractive in a way to go out. but can be friends with them. [im nto overweight just wondering]
5. what type of girl do guys really want to go out with.
6. is a smart girl a type a guy wouldnt go out with.
7. what age to guys usually loose their virginity compared to girls.

LOL THNX! THESE ARE SOME QUESTIONS IVE ALWAYS WONDERED..

17, male;

Q1. is it okay for a girl ask out a guy first
A1. Yes. It's a very nice change to get asked out. Guys can be insecure too, and it's nice to know when someone likes us.

Q2. is it okay for a girl to ask out a guy for a informal/formal school dance
A2. The same as asking a guy out. If he doesn't have a date, he'll probably accept.

Q3. do guys find girls who burp un-attractive [and yes i burp but not like all the time]
A3. Depends how you burp. Don't belch, it's gross -.^ It's best to burp in private, but if you must, then make it delicate, and behind your hand, and it should be o.k.

Q4. do guys find people who are overweight or fat un-attractive in a way to go out. but can be friends with them.
A4. Some guys are pretty superficial, and won't even be seen with larger girls. Others don't give a damn. I would say that the nicest guys you'll find are the ones who don't judge solely on appearance.

Q5. what type of girl do guys really want to go out with.
A5. Depends on the guy, a lot. Superficial guys go out with shallow, pretty girls. The less shallow guys try to find girls who aren't just pretty, but have a brain. One of the most important things for myself would be that she understood me.

Q6. is a smart girl a type a guy wouldnt go out with.
A6. Hmm, answered this before I read the question. Some guys don't like smart girls, because they want to be in control (They're generally the leeches), otherwise, it's nice.

Q7. what age to guys usually loose their virginity compared to girls.
A7. Wouldn't have a clue. I'm a virgin at 17, but apparently something like 50% of 16 yr olds have lost their virginity. Guys are probably faster to lose their virginity, but I wouldn't want to perpetuate any stereotypes.

Any more questions, send them my columns way ^^

-K

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Lately I've been thinking I'm depressed and I've been very unexpected with my moods. I was talking to my boyfriend either and this is what was said:
Me: I don't understand myself sometimes..
Him: honestly, i dont understand you sometimes either

Allowing myself to say it and then hear him say it feels so different. It hit me hard when he said that. Would anyone else be not offeneded, but confused if your boyfriend said that to you? It hurts so much more hearing it from him rather than myself...

It depends on how he said it. If his tone of voice was haughty or annoyed then I would have to say that he's doesn't sound like a very good boyfriend.
It's not so bad if he was upset, or exasperated about it. If someone said something like that to me, and I didn't really feel like I understood them, then I would want to lie about it.
If he wasn't mad about it, then the chances are that even though he wants to help you, sometimes he feels like he doesn't understand you any better than you understand yourself.
He definitely could have done better. Especially if you were upset at the time. The best thing to do would probably have been to calm you down, and just hold you, but maybe he wasn't feeling comfortable, or maybe like he didn't know you well enough. Either way, it's happened and you have to figure it out now.
The best thing you can do now is decide (and it's your decision, because you were there, and you know what he MEANT when he said it) what he meant.
Did he mean that sometimes he doesn't know you, and he liked the way you were before you were so uncertain, or was he dying on the inside because he wanted to help you but just didn't know how?
If it's the first, then he obviously doesn't understand, and you shouldn't let it get to you, but I wouldn't be queueing up to let him hurt you again.
If you think that he's just a retard, but he really does want to know you, then you should try to help him out. Do stuff with him, and give him a chance to redeem himself. Hopefully he'll help you feel a little better about yourself.
If you do start to feel really depressed, private question me, or send me an email (address in column). I know what it's like to go through - kind of like a yoyo actually, you don't go through it, you just work your way up and down until finally you find that the string's spent and everything calms down for a bit.
Anyway, I hope that I eased your mind for now, or at least helped you to make a decision.

-K

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