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Hurts more
Lately I've been thinking I'm depressed and I've been very unexpected with my moods. I was talking to my boyfriend either and this is what was said:
Me: I don't understand myself sometimes..
Him: honestly, i dont understand you sometimes either
Allowing myself to say it and then hear him say it feels so different. It hit me hard when he said that. Would anyone else be not offeneded, but confused if your boyfriend said that to you? It hurts so much more hearing it from him rather than myself...
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you could talk to somebody about it. not even a professional, anyone. tell him that it hit you and ask him what he thinks is wrong. dont let things build up inside you that bother you. let everything out, you'll feel alot better. honestly, im like that too. everyone tells me im bipolar. i'd say just try to calm down and talk to somebody about it. good luck :/ ♥
ยค baby
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I would ask him what he means by that. I would be offended too. Good luck! Hope I helped!
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I know exactly how you feel. My moods are always changing, I all the sudden all the time think of anything bad and I get so depressed. Sometimes I'll be all fine one minute, laughing and carrying on then literally the next minute I am down and depressed. It's so strange, but my boyfriend says the same thing. And you know what he is telling the truth. Maybe he doesn't understand you because you won't tell him everything about ho wyou feel. Have you been holding back certain things? He probably can't understand because your not being honest with him. It's how I always feel. My boyfriend will ask me how I feel or ask me what is wrong and I try to hide from him, only saying a few things but really wanting to pour my heart out. Sometimes its very hard to express your feelings to someone you love because your afraid of what they might think and you don't want to sound pitiful. But your not pitiful, if it's how you feel then it's worth stating. Don't be afraid to talk to him and tell him what's on your mind. In exchange make it a conversation about your moods and depression, get him to understand you. He can also join in a tell you how he feels at times. If he loves you alot then he will try to understand if you explain it to him. I know it's hard to hear things from him like that, and the reason you can say it about yourself is because you believe that only you believe that about yourself, you expect your boyfriend to say something that will make you happier, but it's the ones we love who hurt us. But if the hurt is the truth then it's better that way. He only means well and from what he said it sounds like your not telling him much or you have made it confusing for him to understand.
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Hey hun.. i can understand how you feel.. i hate when sometimes my boyfriend agrees what i say about myself.. and it hurts me alot cause he said it.. but my boyfriend always asks me to try and explain how i feel and why do i think i might feel like that.. i would personally find out if he'd like to know whats goin on and try to explain it to him so he can understand you a lil bit.. dont shut him out.. ♥ Dez
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that 5 things:
1. relax, everyone has this 'self-understanding' crisis..
2. he was just being a guy..sometimes guys say stuff without thinking..
3. likewise, you are just being a girl..sometimes girls take stuff too seriously..
4. don't worry, that 'understanding' will come as you grow..it has got something to do with hormones i think..
5. honestly, do you understand him? i mean, really?
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Ah dearie, would you want him to lie to you so you dont get hurt?Or do you want the truth? Sometimes the truth hurts,but lies can hurt worse.
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it seems as if he was just kidding to try to make you laugh and to stop being so tense. Good luck with him!
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It depends on how he said it. If his tone of voice was haughty or annoyed then I would have to say that he's doesn't sound like a very good boyfriend.
It's not so bad if he was upset, or exasperated about it. If someone said something like that to me, and I didn't really feel like I understood them, then I would want to lie about it.
If he wasn't mad about it, then the chances are that even though he wants to help you, sometimes he feels like he doesn't understand you any better than you understand yourself.
He definitely could have done better. Especially if you were upset at the time. The best thing to do would probably have been to calm you down, and just hold you, but maybe he wasn't feeling comfortable, or maybe like he didn't know you well enough. Either way, it's happened and you have to figure it out now.
The best thing you can do now is decide (and it's your decision, because you were there, and you know what he MEANT when he said it) what he meant.
Did he mean that sometimes he doesn't know you, and he liked the way you were before you were so uncertain, or was he dying on the inside because he wanted to help you but just didn't know how?
If it's the first, then he obviously doesn't understand, and you shouldn't let it get to you, but I wouldn't be queueing up to let him hurt you again.
If you think that he's just a retard, but he really does want to know you, then you should try to help him out. Do stuff with him, and give him a chance to redeem himself. Hopefully he'll help you feel a little better about yourself.
If you do start to feel really depressed, private question me, or send me an email (address in column). I know what it's like to go through - kind of like a yoyo actually, you don't go through it, you just work your way up and down until finally you find that the string's spent and everything calms down for a bit.
Anyway, I hope that I eased your mind for now, or at least helped you to make a decision.
-K
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I would be confused and hurt at he same time but I would also say to myself at least he was honest to me.And I do get your point.You should try not to be depressed like have more fun and by going out more with your boyfriend.You should also get support from others which helps a lot and you should probably tell him why you are feeling this way.You could also seek help by asking others if they went through the same feeling and if so ask them how they got through that whole situation.
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I dont think a supportive and caring boyfriend would respond like that but it depends on how you've been treating him lately as well. Depressed ppl tend to stop caring about everyone including themselves...and that could give him the feeling like you dont care about him...and losing interest in him. I think you should take some time alone...find out whats really bugging you and then decide whether your relationship is going to work out or not..(Even if your not depressed)
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